Chapter 73: Reason To Live

SELENE’S POV

William was gone, and at least I could breathe fresh air without someone telling me I was his mate.

I almost forgot my own birthday. Almost. I wasn’t that far gone ... I still remembered the day I was born. But there was nothing to celebrate about it. I woke up that morning with a heavy weight on my chest. Turning twenty-three wasn’t a flex. It was a reminder that I still had a long, miserable life ahead of me.

Fuck. Why did life have to be filled with so much suffering?

The goddess never answered me. She didn’t reach out when I needed her most. So I didn’t bother giving her thanks for keeping me alive another three hundred and sixty-five days. Honestly, I didn’t think my life was in her hands anymore. She left me a long time ago ... and I left her too.

Staying with the breeders was the best decision I’d made in Winterwood. Maybe loving Lucian was the second.

"Happy birthday, Selene!" they all shouted, and Valerie carried a cake toward me, a single lit candle flickering on top. I was a little happy. Just a little.

All nine of them, plus Valerie, sang for me.

"Selene, you’re a gift to us," Valerie said, smiling wide. "We hope you find peace, love, and happiness ... just like you’ve spread it here. Now make a wish."

I smiled.

I blew out the candle, and my only wish was that my end would be better than my beginning. Because since the start of my life, nothing good had ever lasted. Not my parents. Not my sister. Not Winterwood. I wished, from that moment forward, to live a fulfilled life ... one that was actually mine.

I said all of that in my mind. No one heard it but me.

My face still carried the weight though. Valerie noticed. She came to me and said, "Even if there are things making you unhappy right now, at least you’re alive. Be happy. You can deal with your problems later." She smiled and tilted her head toward the drinks. An invitation.

"Oh, come on ... what’s one or two drinks?" I called out, hyping everyone up.

They came alive like the candle on that cake.

Everyone grabbed a drink and we were about to toast.

"This is to Selene," Valerie began. "To another three hundred and sixty-five days, to a good life ahead..."

"Please wait," I interrupted.

The room stilled.

"Before we toast to me, I want to honour the friends who are no longer here with us. Freya. Leah. And the others." I paused. "Twenty seconds of silence for them."

And it was done.

Those twenty seconds didn’t feel rushed. Time moved slowly, almost deliberately. Many things ran through my mind ... and I was sure they ran through everyone else’s minds too.

I had known them for such a short time, yet they’d already taught me so much. Love. Sacrifice. The kind of loyalty that puts family first. And the truth that family doesn’t always have to be blood. They gave me that.

Then I remembered what I owed them. I hadn’t forgotten, not Leah, not Freya. I owed them reckoning. I owed them revenge. And just like that ... I had a reason to be alive. Lucian or no Lucian.

After we toasted to them, we toasted to me. There was clapping and cheering from the people who mattered most in that room. Day one family. Nothing was breaking this cord.

When the celebration settled, I slipped away toward the one thing that always gave me peace ... a room full of books.

On my way to the library, my phone buzzed. A text. I looked at the name and my chest tightened in the best way.

Cipher.

The day really was mine.

"I can’t call ... I’m sorry, Selene. I don’t want anyone monitoring me."

He continued:

"Happy birthday. Let today be a reminder, from me to you, that you are a star. You were born for greatness. I knew it from the time you were a little girl. Please don’t give up. The sun is rising on you soon. As a birthday gift, I’ve attached a document below this message that answers the questions you’ve had regarding your research. Now get to building that machine."

Love,

Cipher.

I teared up reading it.

It was the realest, most heartfelt message anyone had ever sent me ... and it came from a man who wasn’t even my father.

I loved Mr. Cipher. There was nothing I wouldn’t do for him.

I typed back: "Thank you, sir. You make me want to keep going. We’ll be alive to see each other again. I love you, Dad."

I put that "Dad" there because he had earned it. He’d gone beyond what anyone owed me, and then some.

What more could I have asked for as a birthday gift?

My actual parents hadn’t even reached out.

I stepped outside for a moment and called out to my real mother ... the one the wind carried. Since I’d never known what it felt like to be held by a mother, I made her a promise then: I would be a good mom to my pups. Whatever it took.

I walked into the library, heart full and ready to work. Maybe that was where my fulfillment had been waiting all along.

But the moment I stepped inside, Ms. Ashlyn was standing right there ... holding another cake. This one was shaped like a book.

"Happy birthday!" she screamed.

I was completely overwhelmed. "How ... how did you know?" I managed.

"I uploaded your bio data from the first day you came in here, Selene." She grinned. "You’re welcome."

I almost laughed. I should have figured that out myself.

"Thank you," I said, meaning it.

"I’m so glad to have you here," she said warmly. "Your dedication and commitment to knowledge and discovery ... it’s something worth admiring."

"Thank you, Ms. Ashlyn. For everything. Your support, your guidance ... all of it."

"I hope all your desires come true." She nudged the cake toward me. "Now blow out the candle and make a wish. The goddess is around."

I did. And standing in that room surrounded by books, I felt something I hadn’t felt in a long time.

Alive.

Ms. Ashlyn’s face was glowing ... more than a birthday would account for. Something else was making her this happy.

"I’m not the only one here to wish you today," she said, her voice playful. "I’ll leave you to the someone waiting behind that door."

"Who is it?" I asked.

"They said not to reveal it. Just go." She added hand gestures for emphasis.

I walked toward the door slowly, each step more cautious than the last.

I pushed it open.

And I stopped.

Lucian Thornveil stood there holding a bunch of flowers.

"Happy birthday, Selene."

I couldn’t speak. I just stared.

"You didn’t think I’d forget, did you?" he said, a small smile pulling at his lips.

I found my voice. "What are you doing here? Do you want me to have problems with your wife?"

He walked toward me and extended the flowers.

I took them from him ... and set them on the table like they meant nothing to me. Like he meant nothing to me.

"I’m married now, Selene," he said quietly. "That doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten how I feel."

"You don’t have the right to call me that anymore," I replied. "We’ve been separated a long time. We should go ahead and make that permanent."

"At least accept my wishes." He gestured past me, and I turned ... there were gifts stacked on the floor. A lot of them.

"Tell me what makes me deserving of any of this from you," I said. "Then I’ll accept it."

"You were carrying my child." A beat. "And I love you, Selene. I still do."

"Okay," I said flatly.

I didn’t look at his face. I couldn’t. I knew what his eyes did to me ... that pull, that warmth, that dangerous charm. I refused to let my walls come down. Not here. Not today.

"Enjoy yourself," he said softly.

And then he was gone.

I stood there alone in the quiet of that back room, surrounded by his gifts and the ghost of everything we used to be.

On my birthday, I silently wished Tessa a happy married life.

I wasn’t a thief. I would never be my sister.