Chapter 197

It started with the honeyed dates.

I woke up three days after bonding with Eryx, and the first thing I felt was a cramping in my lower abdomen that made me want to simultaneously eat an entire honeycomb and murder everyone in a ten mile radius. I rolled over, groaning, and glared at the empty space beside me where Eryx should have been.

"Eryx," I snapped, my voice sharper than I intended. "Where are you?"

He appeared in the doorway moments later, water still dripping from his silver hair, the makeshift top Veylan had given him clinging to his damp skin. He had been at the lagoon for his morning bath, the thin fabric of his borrowed garment doing little to hide the lean strength of his sexy form beneath. His ears were still slightly back from the cold water, his silver eyes bright and questioning until they landed on my face.

His smile died instantly.

"Krys? Are you... are you angry?"

"Yes," I said, sitting up and immediately regretting it when another cramp hit. "No. I do not know. I want sweet, can you bring me some sweets. Maybe honey? Then you can go."

He blinked, confused, water droplets falling from his hair onto the floor. "Honey?"

"Honey," I confirmed, my voice rising dangerously. "The dark amber kind. The sweet kind. And a hot stone for my stomach. And I want the soft fur, not the rough one, the soft one, and I want the window open but also closed, and I want..." I stopped, my eyes welling with tears for no reason. "I want you to hold me but also do not touch me, and I am hungry, but the thought of food makes me sick, and everything hurts and I hate everything."

Eryx took a step back, his eyes wide, his ears flattening against his skull. He looked like a wolf facing a wildfire with a cup of water.

"Veylan," he called, his voice cracking slightly. "Veylan, I need help."

Veylan appeared in the doorway, took one look at me, and immediately started laughing.

"Oh," he said, his violet eyes dancing with amusement. "Oh, Eryx. You have the worst timing, brother."

"What is happening?" Eryx asked, his voice desperate. "She was fine yesterday. We were... we were happy. And now she is crying and yelling, and she wants honey but also does not want me to touch her. What did I do wrong?"

"You did nothing," Veylan said, clapping his brother on the shoulder. "She is not like the other beast female that’s all. This is normal."

"Normal?" Eryx repeated, his voice rising to a squeak. "This is normal?"

"Her cycle," Veylan explained, steering Eryx out of the room while I glared at them both from my nest of pillows. "It comes every month. The bleeding, the pain, the... emotional fluctuations."

"Every month?" Eryx’s voice carried clearly from the hallway, disbelief and horror warring in his tone. "But... but females here take six months to a year to produce cubs from their mates. How is it possible for her to get her cycle every month? That would mean she is... she is constantly ready to conceive? That is... that is biologically impossible. That is terrifying. That is..."

"I can hear you guys," I called out, my voice flat, annoyed, carrying the distinct edge of a woman who would very much like to commit violence with a heavy object. "And if you do not bring me my honey in the next thirty seconds, I am going to show you exactly how terrifying I can be."

There was a scramble in the hallway, the sound of running feet, and then Eryx reappeared, holding a pot of honey like a peace offering, his expression that of a man facing a dragon.

"Honey," he said, his voice carefully neutral. "I found honey. Dark amber. Sweet. Is this acceptable?"

I snatched it from his hand, dipped my fingers in, and licked them with a growl that would have made Leon proud. "It is acceptable," I said around a mouthful of sweetness. "Now go away. Wait no, don’t go. Bring me tea. No, tea is disgusting. Bring me... I do not know. I’m sorry Eryx." I was frustrated with myself. I don’t know what I want and I was confusing the shit out of Eryx.

"It’s okay, Krys," Eryx said, nodding rapidly, his eyes wide. "Whatever you need, I don’t know If I can make you happy. but I will try my best."

I burst into tears because he had looked so hurt and confused and it was not his fault. "I am sorry."

"This is the nature of it. You just have to ride it out." Veylan replied, his voice full of sympathy that was entirely undermined by his obvious amusement.

"Ride it out?" Eryx sounded like he was considering riding straight into the ocean and never returning. "For how long?"

"Three to five days," Veylan said cheerfully. "Sometimes a week. Depends on the cycle."

"A week?" Eryx’s voice cracked. "We have to go through this for a week?"

"You," Veylan corrected, his voice taking on a note of smug satisfaction. "You have to endure it. The rest of us have already paid our dues. Leon dealt with it when she first arrived he said. Ravin, me, Soryn, Aureon, Caelion... we have all been through the monthly trials. It is only fair, brother, that the newest mate should bear the brunt for a while. Consider it... initiation."

"That is..." Eryx paused. "That is actually fair. I can see the logic."

"Of course it is fair," Veylan agreed. "Now go. She is waiting. And remember, whatever she says, whatever she throws at you, it is not personal. It is the cycle."

"It is not personal," Eryx repeated, his voice hollow. "Not personal. Right."

I rolled my eyes, at this point it doesn’t matter if I can hear them, they’ll talk about me as if I’m not there. Deep down I do feel bad. But at the moment, they were being irritating.

"I have brought to furs," he announced, his voice carefully neutral. "And I also brought... uh... these?" He held up a collection of items he had clearly grabbed at random. A shell. A flower. A piece of dried fruit. "Are these... helpful?"

I looked at him, at his terrified, hopeful, utterly devoted face, and I felt my irritation melt slightly, replaced by a wave of affection that made me want to cry again.

"Come here," I said, my voice softer.

He approached cautiously, like one might approach a sleeping lion, and sat on the edge of the bed.

I grabbed his hand, pulled him down beside me, and wrapped myself around him, burying my face in his chest. "Hold me," I mumbled. "Do not talk. Just hold me and do not move for the next three hours."

"Yes, Krys," he whispered, his arms coming around me carefully, as though I might explode. "I can do that. I can definitely do that."

He was stiff at first, clearly terrified of doing something wrong, but gradually he relaxed, his hand coming up to stroke my hair with infinite gentleness.

"Krys?" he whispered, so quietly I almost did not hear.

"What?"

"Even when you are terrifying... I still love you."

I smiled against his chest, my hand finding his and squeezing. "I know," I whispered back. "And even when I am terrifying... I still love you too. Now be quiet and let me sleep."

"Yes, Krys," he said, and I could hear the smile in his voice.

And as I drifted off, surrounded by his warmth, his love, his patient acceptance of my monthly monstrousness, I thought that maybe, just maybe, I had found the perfect seventh mate.

One who was terrified of me, devoted to me, and wise enough to never, ever mention the honey stains on the sheets.

Perfect.

---

The afternoon had settled into a comfortable rhythm, my cramps finally easing enough that I could sit outside without wanting to destroy the world. The children played nearby, their laughter a soothing balm to my frayed nerves.

I watched Levy with particular interest. She had cornered Theo near the water’s edge, her black hair gleaming in the sunlight, her dark eyes intense with the kind of focus that only Levy could muster. Theo, nearly three years old, only a few more years to go and he’ll be a full adult. He looked distinctly uncomfortable, his frame rigid with the awareness that he was being hunted.

"Theo," Levy said, her voice carrying clearly across the sand, serious and solemn as a temple priestess. "Do you love me?"

The world seemed to stop.

I felt it immediately, the shift in the air, the sudden tension that radiated from every single one of my mates aside from Caelion. Leon went rigid beside me, his hand freezing halfway to his mouth with a piece of fruit. Ravin’s head snapped up, his golden eyes narrowing. Veylan, Soryn, Aureon, and Eryx all turned as one, their gazes fixing on the small boy with the kind of intensity that could strip paint from walls.

Theo must have felt it. The weight of six protective fathers staring at him, waiting for his answer, ready to pounce if he said the wrong thing, ready to end him if he dared to break their daughter’s heart.

He actually flinched, his body twitching as though physically struck by the force of their collective attention. His eyes darted around, finding each of them in turn, and I saw the exact moment he realized the danger he was in. The sweat that broke out on his forehead. The way his hands trembled.

"I love you," Theo said quickly, his voice high and slightly panicked. Then, as though the words had burned his tongue, he added just as rapidly, "You’re my precious friend. My best friend. Like... like a sister. A very nice sister. Who I respect very much. From a distance."

Levy frowned, her brow furrowing at this addition, clearly not satisfied with the clarification. She stepped closer, invading his personal space with the confidence of a girl who had never been told no, who had never encountered a boundary she could not cross.

"Soon I’ll be your mate," she declared, her chin lifting, her voice carrying the absolute certainty of childhood conviction. "When we’re grown. You’ll see. It will be perfect."

Theo flinched again, harder this time, his whole body recoiling as though she had threatened to eat him alive. Which, given Levy’s intensity, might not have been far from the truth.

I turned to look at Leon, expecting to see amusement, expecting to see him laughing at the children’s antics as he usually did.

But Leon was not laughing.

Leon looked ready to murder Theo.

His black eyes were fixed on the boy with a predatory intensity that made even me shiver. His jaw was clenched so tight I could see the muscle jumping beneath the skin. His hands were fisted at his sides, and I could see the tips of his claws emerging, pressing against his palms, ready to extend, ready to strike.

"Leon," I said softly, placing my hand on his arm. "Leon, breathe. He’s a kind child, it’s not his fault Levy loves him."

"He said he loves her," Leon growled, his voice low and dangerous, barely human. "He said the words. He knows what they mean. And then he took them back. He made her think... he made her hope... and then he crushed it."

"He’s a child," I reminded him, my fingers tightening on his arm. "They’re both children. They don’t know what love means yet. They don’t know what mates mean. Levy thinks it’s a game, a promise, a certainty. Theo is just going along with her. Look at him."

We both looked. Levy followed him step for step, her expression determined, her voice rising as she explained exactly how their future mating would proceed, what kind of house they would have, how many children they would raise.

Theo looked like he was contemplating throwing himself into the ocean and swimming to another island.

"He’s going to break her heart," Leon muttered, his claws finally retracting, but his eyes still murderous. "One day, he’s going to break her heart, and I’m going to break him."

"Maybe," I said, leaning against him, feeling his warmth, his protective fury. "Or maybe she’ll grow up and realize he was never the one. Or maybe he will grow up and realize she was always the one. We don’t know, Leon. We can’t know. All we can do is protect her, guide her, and hope she makes the right choices."

"She’s too young to be thinking about mates," Leon said, his voice rough with emotion. "She’s one. She’s a baby. My baby."

"She’s a baby who looks like a twelve-year-old girl," I reminded him. "And she’s fierce, and determined, and she knows what she wants. Just like her father."

Leon looked down at me, his expression softening slightly, the murderous rage giving way to something like resignation. "She’s going to be the death of me," he said.

"Probably," I agreed, smiling up at him. "But what a way to go."

We sat together, watching our daughter chase her terrified future mate across the beach, watching my other mates slowly relax their protective stances, watching the sun begin its descent toward the horizon.

And I thought, not for the first time, that being a mother to a daughter like Levy was going to require all the strength, all the patience, and all the sense of humor I possessed.

And probably a lot of wine.