Chapter 506 - 504:'Menace!'

Chapter 506: Chapter 504:“Menace!”

"Lucien is awake." Before I could even begin my conversation, Terra’s voice interrupted me.

"Ehh? Impossible. He should be out for the next day at least!"

"Well, he’s up and asking for his big brother, so here you go."

"No... Terra, wait..."

My words fell on deaf ears as, with a brilliant flash of green, a weight fell upon my head, followed by,

"Eyy... heyyyyy!!! Big brother!!!" The excited voice of the little man.

"Haaa.... Here we go again." Malachi visibly slouched the moment the child appeared.

"Fuck... can I have some cosmic battle to fight? Some world-ending scenario? I’ll take anything that doesn’t have to do with that kid." Paku began immediately looking for an escape, as Salazar was even more extreme, freezing himself in a different time-space, all to avoid the terror that was the little man.

It had all been fun and games until Lucien decided he wanted to go out for a walk.

I’d already gone out with the kid before, so I thought it’d be the normal routine, but I forgot one tiny detail.

We were in a cultivation world, and normal wasn’t really a thing here, as to our dismay, the kid immediately got hooked on one event after the other.

Dragging us through one painfully cringe kid’s show after the other.

Plays of how the first emperor united the galaxies.

Plays on how past kings and queens did this, did that.

Plays on how past sect masters did this and did that.

Fights between clueless haps that only knew how to shout increasingly horrible names.

It was literal hell on earth, but the kid seemed to be having a blast.

Three days. Three days of straight torture. So much torture that Leo at one point had to lock himself in some mind-scape just to escape the horror as he walked around like a mindless puppet.

It wasn’t until a day ago that we’d finally forced sugar on the kid as he overhyped himself to exhaustion.

I had expected him to be knocked out for the next few days at least, but....

"Big brother! Big brother! Where are we!?"

"Haa... welcome to my life." I could only sigh in defeat.

Give me another apostle. Hell, give me Eldritch himself if it means I don’t get dragged to another "fantastic play."

Sadly though, my complaints held no grounds here as I could only answer, "We’re at the emperor’s house, little man."

"Em... empooror?"

"Pffft....." Everyone.

"Ack!!" Xuan visibly choked on his own saliva the moment he heard Lucien’s form of address.

"Heh! Yes, little man, definitely empooror."

"Dan.. Dante, can we not have the child call me that?"

"Yay. Empooror! Empooror!! EMPOOOROR!!!"

"Too late, brother."

"Haaa..." The man could only sigh in defeat.

"Heh! If I’m suffering, then you’ll suffer with me, pal."

"Cute... so.. so cute..." A small voice cut me from my schadenfreude as I turned to find Su Yin all wide-eyed in amazement.

Her eyes were literally sparkling as she looked at the kid atop my head; the eager expression on her face clearly showed how much she wanted to hold the child.

"Haa... and another one falls stupidly for the child." At this point, I wasn’t even bothered enough to say anything again. The kid was a natural woman magnet; I’ll let him have that.

"But..." An idea suddenly bloomed in my head as I watched the twitching and eager Su Yin.

I glanced at the others and, as I thought, they were also looking at me with sly smiles on their faces.

"I guess great minds do think alike." I grinned harmlessly as I brought the kid down from my head,

"Hey, little man, let me introduce you to someone fun." Pushing the kid in front of the eager Su Yin, I introduced the two, "Little man, meet Su Yin; Sister Yin, meet my little brother."

"Ehh? Big sister?" The kid tilted his head cutely as his bright eyes locked onto Su Yin, and that sent the woman off.

"Kyaaaaaaa~~~~ so cuteeeeeee...." The woman shrieked as she snatched the child from my hands so fast I almost didn’t see her move.

"Damn."

"Uhh.. big.. big sis... can’t breathe... Lucien.."

"Uhh.. Sister Yin, you’ll suffocate the kid if you keep showering him with ALL THAT affection." I called out with a sly smile as the woman had stuffed the little man’s face in between her very generous bosom.

"Sha... Shameless rogue!!" Embarrassed and flustered, she finally stopped flailing the child, pulling him out of the suffocating paradise.

"Haa.. dangerous. Big sis... dangerous."

"So.. sorry. I.. I was just excited. You’re just too cute." She was almost squealing again but managed to hold herself back.

"Cute? Lucien is cute? But big brother and the others say Lucien is a menace! Lucien likes being a menace instead of being cute!" The child pouted, saying words that were bound to get me and the guys into surefire trouble, and sure enough,

""""YOU WHAT!?"""" Shaia and the girls.

""YOU WHAT!?"" Nyssara and Su Yin.

"Hey... hey.. ladies. The kid doesn’t know what it means. I’m sure he’s just saying things."

"Nuh-uh!! Lucien wants to be a menace! Menace! MENACE!!"

"Damn it! Kid, shut up!!" I was panicking.

Cold sweat was already running down my back from the death glares I was receiving from the ladies.

"We’ll talk about this later. We’d like to know when and how you called aeeet Lucien such a bad word behind our backs."

I knew the game was already lost the moment Shaia started speaking in that tone of voice.

"Haa.. I hate my life."

"Eyy.. wait! Lucien just got a new big sis?" The kid suddenly came down from his high as he immediately turned to another matter.

How this kid’s head worked was still baffling me even now.

Because tell me how you go from one extreme to sudden calm in the blink of an eye?

"Yes, little man. You have a new big sister. Now don’t listen to those bad men. You’re definitely cute, and NOT a menace." Su Yin shot us a dirty look as she emphasized the word NOT.

"Eyy? New big sis? Does that mean you’ll soon start screaming every night too? Big sis Blue hasn’t started screaming yet, so does that mean you two will be screaming together?"

"Lu.. Lucien!!!" Nyssara cried out in horror.

"Scre.. screaming?" Su Yin’s face turned red. She was trying not to understand the kid’s words, but,

"You know, what happens every night a big sis is alone with big brother. Their screaming exercises."

"Lucien!!!" Nyssara, now fully reddened from the neck up, clamped the child’s mouth shut as Su Yin seemed just about ready to explode.

"Heh! Little man, she’s your big sis alright, but she’s not that kind of big sis." I pried the kid free from his captor as I clarified.

"Ehh? So no screams?"

"Lucien! Stop saying that!" Nyssara was about to lose her mind as the kid seemed relentless.

"Hmm? No screaming? I’m not so sure..." I gave Xuan a sideways glance, and the man puffed out his chest, "Heh! Oh, she’s screaming alright. Just from a different source, hehehehe.." I laughed, proud of my brother’s accomplishments, but the moment was short-lived as,

WHAM!!!

A hand came down hard on my head.

"Ahhh!!!" I screamed, turning around to find Nyssara fuming, her fist literally smoking from the force she had used.

"Stop... stop corrupting the child! What’s wrong with you?"

"But..."

WHAM!!!

"Ahhhh!!"

"No buts! You’re being a bad influence. What if the child ends up like... like... like you, goddamit!!"

WHAM!!

"Ahhh!!!"

"Shaia... Shaia... she.. she hit him. Nyssara, she really hit that bastard." Sana called out, almost in tears.

"I knew she was going to come around sooner or later. And what a nice way to do so, too. That bastard definitely deserves it." Shaia snorted in pride.

"Master... just... Haa.." Even Elira, my beloved Elira...

"Husband really deserved that one."

"Ahhhh..." The floor gave out beneath me as I suddenly found life bleak and hopeless.

"It’s ruined... it’s all ruined.. my Nyssara. My lovely and cute Nyssara. Gone. She’s gone!! My life is ruined!!!!"

"Stop.. stop being dramatic."

"Ruined, I say!!! RUINED!!!!"

"Pfft...." Of course. Trust those bastards to laugh at my sorrows.

WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM!

""""AHHH!!! Why!?""""

"You called the child a menace, humph! That’ll teach you fools some manners, humph!"

"Ahh... I love her! Shaia, I love this girl, hahahahahahaha." Sana laughed in pure glee as me and the guys just lay there, wondering just what was the meaning of life in earnest, because this truly wasn’t it.

Lucky for us, the girls became tired of our wallowing as they finally took the excited kid out, the place returning to silence once more.

"Haaa.. well, it’s not perfect, but I guess we do finally get some peace and quiet." Malachi sighed, sitting up.

"Speak for yourself, monkey! I’m still depressed."

Who was this guy? I just lost my fun and teasable Nyssara. I’m never getting over—

"So, about this auction nonsense..."

"Did you just say auction?"

Okay... maybe just for these few minutes I can afford to let the issue go.

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A/N: Guys don’t blame me. One minute I’m writing something, the next moment it turns into an absolutely chaotic Chapter like this one, lol... anyways, as always...

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Thanks for reading...