Chapter 132 — The Empty Seat

Chapter 132: Chapter 132 — The Empty Seat

~ Raven ~

Raven looked from the empty chair beside Adelaide to the table by the windows.

Whatever the rest of the cafeteria expected her to do, she wanted to sit with her roommates. They had argued, and she still wasn’t ready to forgive Brielle for what had happened in their room, but she wasn’t going to eat somewhere else just to avoid an awkward conversation.

She turned toward them.

Before she had taken more than a few steps, Thalia pushed back her chair and stood. Tessa followed, reaching for her bag, while Brielle set down her cutlery.

Raven slowed.

Perhaps they had finished. She had been gone longer than she intended, and there was no reason they should have waited for her.

Then she saw their plates.

Thalia had left more than half her food. Tessa had barely touched hers, and Brielle’s glass was still half-full.

Raven stopped.

None of them looked toward her. Tessa folded her napkin and placed it beside her plate, while Brielle pushed her chair back beneath the table. Then the three of them walked toward the side doors.

Raven watched them leave, still holding her tray.

I was coming to sit with you.

She hadn’t expected them to welcome her as though nothing had happened. She would have understood if they were quiet or if Brielle immediately started asking about the Circle again.

But they hadn’t even waited to see where she was going.

Her fingers tightened beneath the tray as the doors closed behind them.

Now she was standing alone in the middle of the cafeteria with an apple tart and far too many people watching.

She heard someone whisper behind her and forced herself to look away from the doors.

There were other places to sit. She could see an empty table near the wall, far enough from both groups that she could eat without having to speak to anyone.

That was probably what she should do.

Instead, her gaze returned to Adelaide.

The women had resumed their conversation. Nobody called Raven again or waved her over, but the chair remained empty.

She could still sit there.

Her face warmed at the thought of everyone watching her walk to an empty table after her friends had left. She hated that it mattered. She hated even more that she was letting it influence her.

But there was a reason to join the Circle.

Isolde.

That was why she had agreed to the gathering in the first place. She still needed to speak to Marchmont, and these women claimed they could make that happen.

Eating with them could help.

Raven adjusted her grip on the tray and crossed the cafeteria.

The whispers became harder to ignore, but she kept her eyes on the empty chair. When she reached it, she set down her food and pulled it out.

Adelaide looked up.

"Glad you could join us."

The Fifth Seat moved a water jug and a stack of books out of Raven’s way.

"There. You’ll need room for all that."

"I was hungry."

"After combat class, I’m surprised you didn’t take more," another girl said. "I’d have gone back for a second tart."

Raven managed a small smile as she sat.

Rosalind didn’t acknowledge her. She held a cup between her hands, listening to Adelaide, and only glanced toward Raven when someone passed the water jug.

The look was brief, but cold enough to make Raven pause.

What have I done to you?

She still couldn’t think of anything. Before their introduction outside Hale, Raven hadn’t even known who she was.

She took the jug, poured herself some water and left Rosalind alone.

Conversation resumed without anyone making a fuss over her arrival. They asked how she was finding her classes and whether she had managed to get through the afternoon without being stopped by everyone who had watched Bellringer.

"I’m considering pretending I don’t know who Raven Rivers is," she said.

"With that hair?" the Fifth Seat asked.

"There are flaws in the plan."

Two of them laughed, and Adelaide smiled before the conversation moved on.

It was easier than Raven had expected.

Nobody demanded an explanation about the photograph or asked which Cardinal she preferred. They talked about classes, an instructor who had kept them late and an assignment nobody seemed pleased about.

Adelaide occasionally brought Raven into the conversation, then let her eat while the others argued over something she hadn’t been there to witness.

From across the room, she supposed it looked perfectly natural.

Seventh Seat had joined the First Circle for a meal.

A whisper reached her from the table behind her, and Raven looked over.

A girl quickly lowered her eyes. Beside her, a boy turned toward his friend with sudden interest in whatever was on his plate.

Raven faced her food again.

The chicken and potatoes she had wanted so badly were still mostly untouched. She cut off a piece, put it in her mouth and barely noticed the taste.

Around her, the women kept talking.

Except for Rosalind’s brief look, none of them had been unpleasant. They had made room, offered her water and included her without forcing her to speak. Raven had been prepared for condescension or questions designed to embarrass her.

She didn’t know what to do with them simply being nice.

"Raven?"

She looked up to find Adelaide waiting.

"Sorry. What was that?"

"Did you manage to get any rest after class?"

"Does sitting here count?"

The Fifth Seat laughed. "It should. Some of us have been here long enough."

"Good. I’m too tired to get up anyway."

Raven smiled with them and reached for her glass, but the amusement faded as the conversation moved on.

She wondered whether Thalia had eaten enough before leaving. There had still been so much food on her plate.

Raven lowered her glass. She had wanted to sit beside her and listen, even if Thalia spent the entire meal talking to Tessa instead. Brielle could have stayed angry with her for a while longer.

At least she would have been there.

Raven set down her glass.

Her eyes started toward the windows, but she made herself stay focused on the conversation.

There was nothing over there she needed to see. She knew they had gone.

This is useful.

She still needed Isolde, especially after what Dante had said about his headaches. Cassian had pointed her toward Stillheart, and she needed to find out whether it could detect whatever had entered her dreamscape—or help keep it out.

If spending time with the Circle brought her closer to that answer, then she had a reason to be here.

She repeated it to herself while Adelaide spoke to the girl beside her.

It didn’t make her feel better.

At Blackthorn, Raven had spent enough meals standing behind other people’s chairs to imagine what it would be like to have a place of her own. She had wanted to sit down without being ordered back up, to speak without someone looking offended that she had opened her mouth.

Here, she had been invited.

The Second Seat knew her name. The women around her listened when she spoke, and nobody expected her to refill their glasses or take their plates away.

She had wanted so much of this.

Yet she would have left the table in an instant if one of her roommates had called her over.

Raven broke a piece from her bread and kept her eyes down until she trusted her expression.

Another whisper rose nearby. This time, she didn’t turn.

She took a bite, nodded when the Fifth Seat spoke to her and tried to follow the conversation. They were still making an effort to include her, which somehow made the loneliness worse. She couldn’t even tell herself they were the reason she felt miserable.

The chair had been offered freely. She had walked over and taken it.

Raven looked at the people around her, then at the meal she no longer wanted.

Had she made the right choice?