Chapter 34: The First Breeder 2

TESSA’S POV

Until we had sex.

Yes ... we fucked. And even after that, he still didn’t mark me.

"My dad isn’t home. Would you like to come over?" Lucian asked.

Look at me giggle like I had just been offered the world. It felt like a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, the kind that didn’t come twice. Our teenage bodies had been scratching at us for months, and we seized every opening we got to be alone together.

His house was beautiful. His dad’s house, really, but it carried a grandness that still took my breath away every time I saw it. Even the flowers in the garden alone were enough to make you stop and stare.

"You’re welcome to my place, Tessa," Lucian said, and he was so sweet about it. The moment I stepped inside, he went straight to pour me a drink.

"Here’s to all your stress and struggles," he said, raising his glass before filling his own.

We clinked glasses and drank. We talked and laughed about everything and nothing, the way only two people completely comfortable with each other can. The drink was alcoholic, but it didn’t intoxicate us. Whatever we did that day was out of our own free will ... every bit of it.

This time, I was the one who initiated the kiss.

We started on his couch, the sound of our mouths moving together filling my ears until it slowly faded into nothing, because I got so lost in him I stopped hearing anything at all. We were all over each other. Hands everywhere. Bodies pressed close.

"Let’s head upstairs," he whispered into my ear.

I followed him without a second thought. Honestly, I wanted what he was suggesting even more than he did. All we had ever had was foreplay. I was done waiting. I wanted the real thing.

We reached his room and I lay back on his bed and we kept kissing. I pulled my dress off first. He helped me with the rest. We couldn’t hold ourselves back anymore. The pace between us quickened. He unhooked my bra. He pulled off his own trousers. While he pressed my breasts, I reached for him and wrapped my hand around his dick and rubbed him slowly.

"Are you sure?" he asked, when we were both completely naked.

He penetrated me the way a wolf claims his Luna ... deep and certain, like a puzzle piece that had finally found its place. I loved every bit of it. Every sensation in my body lit up all at once, and I didn’t bother keeping quiet about it.

He owned me for the better part of that night. We lost ourselves in each other for a long time.

That was how Lucian deflowered me. My first time. My first everything. And he had been my only one since.

He claimed I was his first too. I believed him then. I was naive. Even if it had been true, I certainly wasn’t his last.

We thought no one saw us. No one did, as far as we could tell. Both our dads were out of town for some meeting and didn’t return until long after we were done and dressed and pretending we had simply been talking.

"You’re the one for me. You’re the best wolf I’ve ever met," Lucian kept telling me, over and over, weaving a future I was desperate to believe in. We talked about our wedding. We talked about the names we would give our children.

"If it’s a girl, let’s name her Elena," I told him.

He laughed and asked what if it was a boy. He said he’d want to name him Dorian. I liked that name too.

That first night together was only the beginning. We graduated in what we did to each other from one week to the next. We stopped waiting for his dad to be away. He tied a rope outside his window for me, and I would climb through in the dark, and we would have sex for hours without a single person knowing. Nobody knew we were fucking.

Then something tragic happened.

Two years had passed. We knew each other inside out by then ... in bed and out of it. And then our dads went to war. They said the war had to be fought. It wasn’t strictly necessary for them to go themselves, but they did. We all wished them luck and grace.

It didn’t follow them.

They gave their lives for Winterwood. We won the battle, but the cost was both their lives and the lives of many soldiers. They died protecting a territory that would go on without them.

When the news reached me that my dad was gone, something inside me broke in a way I hadn’t known was possible. I had never had a mother ... my dad had been everything. My love from childhood. My only safe place. The one person I could bring all my fears and all my joy to without hesitation. And now he was gone, leaving me alone in a world I had no idea how to navigate.

Territory responsibilities. Why did it have to be him? Why?

I wept in Lucian’s arms. He held me and comforted me well. He didn’t cry much ... I didn’t see him shed a single tear, actually. So there was nothing to comfort him about in the same way. Maybe it was because he was a male wolf and the weight of leadership had already settled onto his shoulders the moment his father drew his last breath. The crown doesn’t wait for grief.

"Are you sure you’re okay, Lucian? You can talk to me, you know," I said to him one evening.

"I’m doing fine. Pulling through," he said.

With his father dead, the contest for the new Alpha had begun. I had already decided in my heart that I was going to be his Luna, no matter what. Preparations began. Through every brutal training session, Lucian still found his way to me ... still fucked me in his house when the nights got too heavy. He said it was the only way he could relieve the stress. I let him, because I thought it meant something.

The tournament arrived. Group stages first, then the knockouts, all the way down to the final. Everyone assumed Lucian would take it ... he was the Alpha’s son, after all. But the wolf who challenged him, Caden, was no joke. He was strong, calculated, and already had people quietly backing him. Rumours had been flying that he had a whole caucus ready for when he eventually took the throne.

But Lucian defeated him. Not cleanly ... barely, if I’m honest. Caden proved himself a worthy opponent and pushed Lucian harder than anyone expected. But Lucian drew on something deeper that day ... his strength, his skill, and every ounce of grief and rage his father’s death had left behind. He brought Caden down to his knees.

Lucian was named the new Alpha. He chose Kael, his closest friend, as his Beta and right-hand man.

A few days after his inauguration, I discovered something that stopped my heart cold.

I was pregnant.

Pregnant for Lucian.

I went to him immediately, certain that this would be the thing that finally locked our future into place. That we would plan our wedding and move forward the way we had always talked about.

"You want to use this child to slow me down, don’t you?" he said.

I stared at him. "What do you mean? The child is yours, Lucian."

He didn’t stop. He kept going.

"How am I supposed to know this child is mine? How do I know this isn’t just a scheme to force me into marrying you?"

"I’m your mate," I said, my voice breaking. "You’re the only one I’ve ever been with, and you know that."

"I’m the Alpha now," he said, his voice flat and final. "This seat comes with responsibilities I can’t afford to compromise ... not even for love. I hope you understand."

I dropped to the floor. My legs just gave out under me and I sat there, crying, unable to make sense of what I was hearing. "So what about our promises? Everything we said to each other?"

"Those promises can still stand ... just not right now. I can’t accept this baby. But I still love you," he said.

Then he walked out of the room and left me on the floor.

Lucian betrayed me. And yet, somehow, I still showed up for him. I kept visiting. I kept assisting him in every way I could. I told myself it was because I loved him. Because I still believed in something. He gave me a room in the king’s chambers, and I was foolish enough to take that as a sign that he still wanted me close.

I decided to keep the baby and tell people it belonged to someone else. I thought I was protecting us both.

I had no idea he was already planning something far worse.

He offered me a drink one afternoon, casual as you please, and I gulped it down without a thought. Thirty-six hours later, I had a miscarriage.

He poisoned my child. Our child. He killed our baby with a drink I accepted from his hand with a smile on my face.

He was a murderer. He still is, to this day. He had already begun handing out punishment and passing judgements on those who crossed him in Winterwood, so I couldn’t challenge him ... not even when I knew, in every bone of my body, exactly what he had done to me. To us.

And I stayed. I was stuck, and I stayed.

He didn’t choose me. He didn’t reject me either. He just kept me right there beside him while he brought in other female wolves to fuck ... breeders, he called them, like it was a perfectly acceptable arrangement. Power had hollowed him out, and I had no choice but to stand in the wreckage of everything he used to be and accept it.

I zeroed my mind. Told myself this was just what it was now.

I was stuck with him. And for a long time, I convinced myself I had made peace with that.