Chapter 280 - 280

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Sleep

Dead Patriot

Gintoki Sakata

Cody

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Black Raven

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"Mother, I am fine."

"I know... but I don't want to leave you alone. Not after seeing you almost die in the vision."

Jon would argue that he was not close to dying at any point. Close to a harbinger of death? Sure. But close to dying himself? No..

He just sighed and nodded with a smile. His mother was worried about him, like the rest of his siblings... cousins. Like the rest of his cousins. Of course, they all left after reassuring them that Jon was fine, the same would not work with his mother, he understood it well.

"When your father told me about the prophecy... about how his children were destined to fight the coming darkness... it didn't occur to me that you'd be fighting them toe to toe like that, so close to them..."

"Is that why you married him? Because of some prophecy?" Jon asked.

Lyanna smiled at him warmly.

"That would be the plainer answer... but no. I fell in love with your father. He is... a gentleman and a smart man. He'd been the one to figure out that I was the Knight of the Laughing Tree before anyone else... of course, it was because he had found me stripping my armour off. But he kept that secret to himself."

"That's all it took? Finding you taking your armour off?" Jon asked incredulously.

Lyanna chuckled and shook her head.

"No, my sweet boy... Back then I was betrothed to Robert Baratheon, a man about whom I'd only heard disliking things. He was a whore, a drunk, violent and very possessive of things he deemed were his. And according to Ned, he'd deemed me as his the moment the betrothal was announced. I... did not like him, I did not approve of him, and I definitely did not want to spend the rest of my life with a man like him."

"But he loved you. Surely he would have changed with time."

"Men like Robert Baratheon hardly change, stubborn to the bone and hard-headed. No doubt he loved me... but he did not know me. So how did he love someone he doesn't know?"

"He loves the version he built up in his head..."

"I thought the same as well... I couldn't talk about this with anyone. Father would not hear it, Brandon did not care enough to hear it, Ned was Robert's best friend and would shrug it off, and benjen was young still... So I sent a raven to your father. It was a thing of desperation, foolish even. He was a prince, why would he even see my raven?"

"And then I had a reply. He heard what I said, spoke exactly the things I was thinking and gave me advice that helped me deal with my situation. He understood me! And for me, who felt so alone because of all of that, it was the thing that mattered the most."

"So we exchanged ravens, and the more I wrote and read, the more I became comfortable with him. Soon enough I was falling for him, and before I knew it I sent him a raven begging him to annul this betrothal... No raven came in reply, but he did. Disguised in commoner clothes and a hood he came to me and asked me to run with him. I saw it as an escape, my salvation, so I ran."

"But he already had a wife, and was father to two children" Jon argued.

"Love will make you do the most foolish of things" She smiled tightly, a hand caressing her son's cheek. "He promised me that Elia had given him her blessings, that she agreed he could take another wife... But did not tell me the details of this 'blessing'. Did not tell me that Elia only consented because of his constant urging and pushing, that she gave him a condition that he all too eagerly accepted."

"Nor did you think how it would affect everyone..."

"I only saw my escape" Lyanna shrugged, stepping back and turning away. But Jon had caught the tears in her eyes. "I was foolish to think that it would all roll over easily, that Rhaegar would be able to calm the people and that I could live on as his second wife."

"Even if the people accepted it... the Faith would have been adamantly against it, and the pious Lords and ladies would back them" Jon pointed out. "Like how when Maegor the Cruel took another wife the marriage was bashed illegal, their marriage an abomination and an insult, not one recognised by anyone."

"I did not think so far ahead" Lyanna shrugged again. "Your father and I married in the Riverlands, in a small sept close to the God's Eye. I wrote a letter explaining everything there and sent it by raven to Winterfell, where Father would be. But I suppose it never reached the place. There were terrible rain storms around those times... perhaps the raven was struck by lightning or the rain had ruined the letter. Whatever it was... my letter never reached home."

"And then the war happened."

"And then the war happened."

For a moment Lyanna and Jon were silent.

"I never meant for things to turn out like this. I only wanted to escape. I never thought I'd be the reason for the death of my father and my brother, for Ned's life to turn in the way it did, for a war... and most importantly for you to be left all alone in the world."

"I was not alone. Father... Lord Stark did the best he could to raise me."

"And I thank him every moment I can for it" the woman exhaled. "The day you were born... I held you in my arms. So small and fragile... I wanted to protect you no matter what, to shield you from the dangers of the world. But I never stopped bleeding. It was slow but nobody could stop it and I grew weaker and weaker until I couldn't even hold you anymore. I knew then that I would fail you, that I would be leaving you behind with a world of broken promises The gods were kind that Ned had arrived... else who knows what would have happened to you."

Jon stared at his mother's back in silence.

"Ned promised me that he would look out for you, that he would protect you... but that was my duty. I should have been the one to do all that for you. I had failed... my love never reached you and you grew up wondering about whether I ever cared about you. I did, Jon! I cared about you so much, I loved you so much the moment I held you. I-"

Jon embraced her from behind and Lyanna gripped his arms. The barriers broke and tears fell freely from her eyes.