Chapter 146: Controlled. Poised. Calm

Elias’s POV

I don’t stop walking till I end up in a secluded part of my family’s mansion.

My mate is going somewhere else without me. He’s going to be near a Stiles. He’s going to be around the first person who won his heart. Noah is going to be seeing the man whom his bastard father intended to ship him off to.

"Fuck" I spit out, barging into the room and picking a gun.

It’s a mini shooting range in the house. The place is designed to also contain most of our weapons. I load a compound pistol, breathing heavily as I aim for an already ruined target.

"Noah is mine" I say to it and pull the trigger.

I miss the target. My posture is incorrect. My mind is reeling. And my heart is racing. All these factors contribute to my shooting the wall behind the target and failing completely.

"Fuck" I growl, holding the gun with both hands and shooting sporadically with pure rage. When I run out of bullets, I throw the gun at the target. "Why?" I roar loudly and let out a louder shout, aware of the soundproofed walls.

Why are they trying to take my sanity from me? Why is mother doing this to me? He has never been against my possessive tendencies, why is he suddenly trying to rip Noah away from me?

I pick up another gun and load it. I will be reprimanded by my mother for wasting bullets, but I don’t care about that right now. I just need to flush the rage out of my system.

Without the earmuffs, my ears start to ring from the noise of the gun. I plant my feet in the ground and waste all the bullets in less than ten minutes. I lose track of time and when I’m satisfied, I drop everything to the floor and leave.

Controlled. Poised. Calm. I am controlled. Poised. And calm.

I keep my hands balled in a fist as I cage them in my pocket, walking away from this part of the mansion slowly.

It’s already late. I check my pocket watch and realize that I’ve spent six hours in that room. I tilt my head back and drag a breath of clean air into my lungs to cool off further. Whenever I get lost in my head, time merges into one invisible being, and I tend to lose my mind.

It feels like sitting in Julian’s cell and waiting for his next visit.

I stop walking after a few steps and lean against the balcony. At the sound of loud pantings, I look down. My eyes find Damien’s dogs running around. If the dogs are free, it means my brother must be nearby.

One of the dogs barks in my direction and Damien comes out of the shadows to pat its head. The dog barks again and Damien looks up to find me staring at him.

Our eyes meet for a second before he pulls himself up.

In less than three minutes, he joins me at the balcony, leaving the dogs to play on their own.

"Pride spotted you" he says and leans on the stone railing next to me.

Yes, his dobermans are named after one of mom’s favorite book. A book Damien has never opened in his entire life. Pride and Prejudice.

"You can return to them. I’m in no mood for company" I say quietly and the light evening breeze responds by blowing my hair around. Fuck. I can’t even go to the room I share with Noah. I’m scared of what I’ll do to keep him.

"You don’t tell me what to do, Pocket watch" Damien scoffs and pulls out the blunt he always keeps behind his ear.

I stay quiet as he lights the end and takes the first puff.

He’s also lost in his head. His hands shake as he pockets his lighter and drags a hand down his face. He doesn’t sleep well and he has it worse than me.

He had to tear his way out of the cage to save us. Seventeen years old and drenched in blood. Seventeen years old and broken beyond repair in his head.

"Uh...cool butt plugs you got there by the way" he says and I snap my head towards him. How the fuck does he know about the butt plugs?

"Y’know, I would have asked for one of them but the omega I want will probably shove it down my throat and lock my jaw to make me swallow" he says with a snort and I look at him in disbelief.

What the fuck?

"Wait...do you think he’ll put in my ass instead? That sounds kind of hot" he murmurs the last part with a lost expression on his face.

"Damien" I call his name quietly and he cocks his head.

"Yes?"

"Shut the fuck up" I say and his shoulders shake with a silent laugh.

"Can’t" he says and takes another drag of his blunt. He shuts his eyes to savor the toxic fumes and I scowl at him. I hate the smell of that thing, but he doesn’t give a flying fuck what anyone thinks.

"Some day you’ll have to forget about Zane" I say and he hums.

"Can’t" he responds dryly.

"He’ll kill you when he’s out of here. I know you know what he’s capable of" I say and he pulls the blunt out of his mouth, looking down at his dogs with mirth in his eyes.

"He might kill me, I might kill him, we might kill each other or be killed together...but it really doesn’t matter. All that matters is I’m obsessed with him. I want him and I’ll keep him."

"He’s not a dog."

"If I called him a rock, you’d accept that won’t you, you fucking hypocrite" he says and I shut my eyes.

He’s talking about Noah.

"Go to him, Eli. I saw him pacing the halls all evening to look for you" my brother says and I am tempted to take the blunt from him just to numb my mind.

"I don’t want to hurt him" I confess.

"The kind of possessiveness I have for him is inhumane. Even now, I want to keep him so bad that I don’t mind killing him and embalming him. Do you understand me?" I ask after sharing how sick my thoughts are and Damien nods.

I know he understands.

He’s the worst of us.

"You’re stronger than that, E. I know you are. You’ve kept my demons in check, you can kill yours if you wanted" he says and pats my shoulder.

I can’t.

"Go to him. My PP are about to lose their mind and eat mother’s belladonnas" my brother mutters and walks away.

His PP are about to...what?

"My PP are my dobermans by the way" he yells a little too late as he disappears around the corner of the hallway with a booming laughter.