Chapter 585: The Ultimate Counter to Space-Time Ninjutsu

"The coolest," my ass.

The Konoha villagers, who had been preparing to thoroughly mock Naruto, were left completely stunned.

The Will of Bullying was a targeted skill, and Naruto's response had effectively made himself untargetable.

They genuinely had no idea what to do with him anymore.

There was an old joke that went something like this:

A man once called into a relationship advice show and said he had fallen in love with a woman, but her family disapproved.

The host patiently asked which family members objected and tried to figure out how the problem could be resolved.

After questioning him for quite a while, the host finally discovered that the "family member" who objected was the woman's husband.

Naruto's situation right now was roughly the same kind of absurdity.

The villagers had expected him to become furious.

Or heartbroken.

They could have shoved their heads into a toilet and still never have imagined Naruto suddenly getting fired up and declaring that Makoto was the coolest.

The moment this happened, everyone watching from outside—those who had been hoping Engraved Tsukuyomi could change Naruto and thereby loosen Heaven's Will's grip on Konoha's Will of Bullying—immediately felt their hopes fading.

This was ridiculous.

Naruto could forgive even this at light speed?

Then some of the viewers remembered something Makoto had told them about the original future.

Naruto would eventually call Obito—the man responsible for his parents' deaths and who had only recently gotten Neji killed—"the coolest."

Once they remembered that, everyone suddenly felt much calmer.

No matter how outrageous the Makoto inside Engraved Tsukuyomi was, all he had really done was become unusually close to Naruto's mother while still being Naruto's friend.

He hadn't killed anyone.

Thinking about it that way, this level of bullying really wasn't enough to break through Naruto's defenses.

…

At the Hyūga residence, inside Hinata's bedroom, the two sisters were watching the scene together.

Hanabi enthusiastically explained to Hinata how Naruto would one day forgive his enemy Obito in the original future.

"Naruto's actually a pretty good person to have as a friend when things are going well, and probably not a bad enemy when everything's going badly either."

Hanabi spoke earnestly despite being the younger sister.

"But Nee-sama, we absolutely cannot learn from him."

After all, Hanabi had studied abroad.

She had seen more of the world.

Under Makoto's guidance, she understood many things far better than Naruto did.

And right now, simply trying to make Naruto understand one basic principle—

Indiscriminate kindness can become an accomplice to evil.

—was already proving absurdly difficult.

Clearly, they needed a stronger dose.

Fortunately, Engraved Tsukuyomi was extremely flexible.

Kushina had already set the major story events, but beyond those events, she had also established a core objective.

If all of Kushina's predetermined events were exhausted and Naruto still failed to reach that core objective, the illusion would shift from semi-automatic operation into fully automatic mode.

At that point, it would essentially become a combination of Infinite Tsukuyomi and Izanami.

"Nee-sama, honestly, I don't think it would matter even if Naruto himself were the one being wronged. He'd probably still forgive everyone."

Hanabi continued earnestly.

"So you really need to be careful. It might be better if you stopped paying so much attention to him altogether."

In the original story, Hanabi had actually disliked Naruto at first too.

She believed her elder sister had become timid because of him.

Raised under the Hyūga clan's teachings, Hanabi had originally thought much like Neji—that destiny was decided from birth, and no amount of effort from the weak could allow them to overcome the naturally strong.

So from her perspective back then, Naruto was simply a dead-last student, the demon fox, someone with no talent and no status.

It was only natural that she looked down on him.

Then came the Chūnin Exams.

Hanabi had believed the enormously talented Neji was someone Naruto could never defeat.

Yet Naruto beat him.

Only then did Hanabi gradually begin reconsidering both Naruto and her views on destiny.

Of course, that was what happened in the original story.

Reality had developed somewhat differently.

Because Makoto had explained something to Hanabi:

Naruto defeating Neji did not prove that "destiny can be changed," nor did it prove that "a failure who works hard can defeat a genius."

In fact, it proved almost the exact opposite.

Naruto defeating Neji showed that destiny could not be changed, and that no amount of effort from the truly disadvantaged would necessarily allow them to defeat someone favored by fate.

It was just that fate happened to favor Naruto.

Neji was the one abandoned by destiny.

There was hardly anything more tragic than that.

You could spend your entire life believing someone else was the failure and you were the genius.

Then, after losing to them, convince yourself that hard work could overturn destiny.

Only to eventually discover that the other person was Asura's reincarnation, the officially designated Child of Prophecy, the jinchūriki of the strongest Tailed Beast—and that when he was about to die, the Sage of Six Paths himself would personally appear to hand him another power-up.

Meanwhile, what did Neji have?

A branch-family Byakugan and a couple sets of glorified calisthenics.

What qualification did he have to compete with Naruto?

When Neji died, did Ōtsutsuki Hamura appear in a dream and resurrect him?

No.

That was the difference.

Hanabi still recognized Naruto's strengths now—perhaps even more clearly than she had in the original story.

But thanks to Makoto's teaching, she also understood Naruto's weaknesses.

She was no longer easily swept along by Naruto's passionate speeches.

Instead, she could look beyond the surface and see what was really happening underneath.

…

Inside Engraved Tsukuyomi, the villagers finally recovered from their shock.

They exchanged glances.

Then an idea occurred to them.

"Naruto, you really mean that?"

"Of course!"

"Incredible."

The villagers sincerely gave Naruto a thumbs-up.

"Since you approve so strongly of Lady Hokage and Makoto being together, then as family, shouldn't you help bring them closer?"

Naruto blinked.

"So…"

The villagers leaned in and whispered into his ear.

"What?!"

Naruto's eyes widened.

"You want me to ruin my dad's reputation?"

Then he paused.

"Wait, does Dad even have a reputation left? Didn't Mom say she could step outside to buy cigarettes and run into nine people who'd—"

Naruto abruptly stopped.

His hands flew over his mouth.

Oh no.

Kushina was the Hokage.

She had access to intelligence ordinary people didn't.

That was probably why she knew such specific details.

Random villagers shouldn't have known any of that.

At least—

They hadn't known it before Naruto opened his mouth.

"So, uh…"

Naruto desperately tried to change the subject.

"Is this a mission?"

Then he remembered something.

When Obito had entered Engraved Tsukuyomi, he had been given three quests and supposedly had to complete them before leaving the beginner village.

Naruto, meanwhile, had entered with nothing but a barebones status panel.

No quests.

No objectives.

Nothing.

So when these villagers suggested this plan, Naruto's first thought was obvious.

Could this be one of his main quests?

"A mission?"

The villagers hesitated.

Then immediately nodded.

"Right! Exactly! It's a mission!"

They assumed Naruto had become so obsessed with being a ninja that the only way to motivate him was to frame everything as a formal assignment or order.

"Alright!"

Naruto's eyes lit up.

"I accept!"

Then, for absolutely no reason, he became incredibly fired up.

"LET'S GO!"

He formed a hand seal.

"Multiple Shadow Clone Technique!"

A huge crowd of Naruto clones appeared and scattered throughout Konoha, beginning the so-called "mission."

Then Naruto's real body suddenly remembered something.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out the Flying Raijin kunai Minato had given him before he left home that morning.

His father had said that if Naruto failed to return for dinner, he would come looking for him.

But now dinner was no longer the real issue.

Minato might come looking for Naruto for an entirely different reason.

And Kushina might come after him too if her secret relationship became public.

This Flying Raijin kunai could not stay with him.

Naruto suddenly remembered several of Kakashi and Obito's deranged confrontations in the real world.

A solemn expression appeared on his face.

"The greatest counter to space-time ninjutsu…"

Naruto walked toward Konoha's septic tank.

"…is sewage."

He looked down at the kunai.

"Sorry, Dad."

Then Naruto tossed the Flying Raijin kunai straight in.

"I'm stronger than you."