Chapter 168: I’m not a monster

The silence inside the bedroom was even more intense and suffocating than the chaos that had just unfolded inside the bathroom.

Jake stood near the doorway, keeping his distance with his shoulders taut and hunched tight. From where he stood, he threw tense, furtive glances toward Alyssa, as if bracing himself for her to erupt into another flare of blinding crimson light.

Alyssa sat curled up on the edge of the bed, pulling her robe tighter around her body to shield against the lingering chill in the air.

Dorian stood right beside her, gently stroking her hair. He looked far better now; the healthy color had returned to his skin, and the bloody wound on his head had completely sealed shut.

When the silence threatened to stretch past breaking point, he exhaled a slow breath and spoke.

​"I’m going to make this brief," he began, his voice deep. "Jake learned about everything after the interrogation with your stepsister. In my rage, I completely forgot he was in the Conclave with me, and I questioned her about your birth, and what your second half really was."

"Did she give you any real answers?" Alyssa cut in, her voice trembling slightly. "About what I am?"

"She didn’t." Dorian paused, hesitating for a split second before continuing. "But I know what you are, Alyssa. Or at least, I’m almost certain I do."

"What am I?"

Dorian hesitated a second time. This wasn’t how he had envisioned telling her the truth. But with the constant chaos since Elvira’s return, he hadn’t had a quiet moment to lay it out.

Alyssa caught his hesitation and uncurled herself from the bed, stepping onto her feet. She stood directly in front of him, tilting her head back to lock her eyes onto his.

"Tell me the truth, Dorian," she said softly, but with absolute firmness. "You’ve hidden it long enough. I deserve to know."

​"I know you do," Dorian murmured, reaching out to wrap his hands around her upper arms, pulling her slightly closer. "I’ll tell you. Just... don’t freak out."

"I’m a Hybrid, aren’t I?"

Dorian’s expression froze completely. The fact that she had managed to piece everything together and arrive at that exact conclusion caught him entirely off guard.

"How did you know?" he whispered.

She lowered her gaze, stepping out of his grip. "It’s the only explanation that makes sense," she said, her voice dropping. "You’ve all told me the brutal histories; how vicious and unhinged the Hybrids were. I’ve heard the stories about the Onyx, and about the last war that slaughtered thousands."

She turned her head and glanced directly at Jake. "It’s the only reason why Jake is suddenly terrified of me. Why he became so cold and distant overnight."

Jake lowered his head, his jaw tightening, but he didn’t attempt to deny it.

"Back in Ashgard," Alyssa continued, the words tumbling out of her in one desperate breath. "The woman who saved us from that collapsing building, the one who claimed to be my mother, told me I possessed unimaginable powers. And since I remember now that my father was a Lycan, the only possible answer is that I am a Hybrid."

She stopped, the words hanging heavy in the air between them. As the silence settled back over her shoulders, it felt like a physical weight pressing her down.

She looked back up at Dorian, trying to read the unreadable storm in his dark eyes.

"Say something, please," she whispered, her hands trembling against her sides. "I’m right, aren’t I? I am a Hybrid."

Dorian nodded. "Yes. Yes, you are a Hybrid. I was going to tell you..."

"It’s okay," she said, shaking her head. "How did you figure it out?"

Dorian knew there was no point in attempting to shield her with secrets anymore. The truth was already out.

"Since the attack with the shapeshifter," he answered quietly. "Doctor Dylan informed me that you had a wolf, a very powerful one, and that was why your wounds healed at such a supernatural rate."

He took a careful step toward her, though he refrained from touching her this time.

"Then, the night right before I took you to Winter’s Peak, you collapsed in agony. Do you remember?"

She nodded slowly. "Yes. I remember."

"That night, you shifted partially," Dorian continued softly. "That was the moment I realized you weren’t a common werewolf at all, but a Lycan. Part Lycan, and part something else."

"Why didn’t you just tell me?"

"I planned to. I swear to you, I did. I was just waiting for the right moment, when things were safe."

Alyssa shook her head in confusion, her brows pulling together. "But you told Jake."

"Jake already knew you were a Hybrid during the interrogation," Dorian explained. "He swore not to speak a word of it to anyone, and he has kept that promise."

"And I never will," Jake interjected, stepping away from the door. "Knowing what you are doesn’t change my duty, Luna. It doesn’t stop me from respecting you, or protecting your life."

"But it does mean you’re terrified of me," Alyssa accused softly, turning to face him.

"Not terrified," Jake said, shaking his head as he met her gaze. "Wary. I’ve witnessed firsthand how monstrous Hybrids can be, the utter destruction they leave behind. It was wrong of me to project that history onto you, to judge you by what everyone else suffered. But I am a Lycan warrior, Luna. My protective instincts react before my head does."

Alyssa stood silent, at a loss for words. She had never imagined a day where Jake, who had felt like a protective older brother to her, would look at her like she was a threat to be eliminated.

"I’m not a monster," she whispered into the quiet room. "I would never hurt anyone. I didn’t ask to be born like this."

"You are not a monster!" Dorian declared firmly, pulling her flush against his chest, letting every ounce of his raw devotion show on his face. "I trust you with my life, Alyssa. I know without a doubt that you would never harm anyone."

"But the other Hybrids were monsters."

"You are different," Dorian insisted, his grip tightening gently. "And you proved it tonight. You healed me. Shadow was slipping away, right on the brink of death, and your power brought him back."

He looked up over her head, his eyes hardening as he locked gaze with his beta. "What you witnessed in that bathroom was her magic saving my life, not taking it."

"I realize that now, Alpha," Jake admitted, though a shadow of caution still lingered in his eyes. "Forgive me for acting so recklessly, Luna. I never intended to cause you any harm."

Alyssa didn’t answer right away. Her head was spinning, reeling with the weight of every revelation crashing down at once. Yet, one pressing question still nagged at her mind.

"What did you mean when you said I hurt Dorian?" she asked, turning her focus back to Jake. "When he kissed me... I hurt him? How?"

"He’s talking about that day in the study, when Elvira tried to kiss me," Dorian explained gently, taking over before Jake could answer. "When you lost control, I thought I could calm you by kissing you. It turned out to be a mistake."

She searched his eyes, horrified. "I hurt you?"

"It wasn’t deliberate," Dorian reassured her immediately. "The moment our lips met, I felt this intense, gut-wrenching agony radiate through my chest. Your powers were wild and unchanneled, so it reacted violently. But that was the only time it happened."

Alyssa tried her best to digest every piece of the information. She took a deep breath, steadying herself. "Okay. Is there anything else I need to know? Anything at all?"

Dorian thought for a moment before answering. "Nina knows as well."

Alyssa’s eyes widened in sheer panic. "Oh goddess, she’s going to hate me."

"What? Why would she? Nina could never hate you."

"She told me her mate was murdered in the last war!" Alyssa gasped. "And the entire war was caused by the Hybrids, the rogues, and the Onyx! How could she not hate what I am?"

"Because you had no part in that war," Jake answered, his voice surprisingly gentle this time.

Alyssa turned toward him as he walked slowly across the room toward them.

"You weren’t even born when the war happened," he continued. "Just because you carry Hybrid blood does not mean you bear the sins of the past. No one is going to hate you for existing."

"Except you did," Alyssa murmured softly.

"I never hated you, Luna," Jake shook his head, looking down. "I just... I let my past trauma obscure my judgment. I was wrong. It was completely out of line to treat you like a threat based on history, and I am truly sorry. Especially for tonight, for throwing you away from the Alpha like that."

A soft smile touched Alyssa’s lips. "It’s okay. I forgive you, Jake. You, Dorian, and everyone else, you’re the only real family I’ve ever had." She turned back to Dorian, sliding her fingers into his palm. "Just promise me you won’t keep things from me again, Dorian. Please. I am not as fragile as you think. I can handle the truth, no matter how heavy."

Dorian pulled her fully into his arms, leaning down to press a tender kiss to her lips.

"Forgive me. I truly believed keeping it hidden was keeping you safe."

​"I know. But keeping me in the dark only leaves me vulnerable when the truth breaks out. I told you that before."

"I promise you," Dorian murmured against her hair. "No more secrets, my love. From this moment on, you get everything."

The stifling tension in the room finally began to dissipate, replaced by a quiet, grounded warmth. Alyssa sank back onto the edge of the bed, letting out a long, exhausted sigh.

"What happens now?" she asked.

"What matters now is finding out what your second half is," Dorian murmured, sitting beside her. "Given the raw power you showed in the bathroom, I suspect your mother may be a sorceress or a powerful witch. We simply need to uncover which one."

Alyssa bit down on her bottom lip, her heart racing as a terrifying thought struck her. She looked back and forth between Dorian and Jake.

"You don’t think I could be part Onyx, do you? An Onyx Hybrid? That would be a disaster, wouldn’t it?"

Dorian didn’t answer. Neither did Jake.

The tense silence returned in an instant, thick and suffocating. Because all three of them understood the unwritten truth: if Alyssa turned out to be half Lycan and half Onyx, it wouldn’t just be dangerous; it would be a catastrophic disaster for the entire realm.