Ch. 280 - Do I Look Like a Philanthropist

Whistling cheerfully, Chen Shu returned home.He washed up and was about to head to his room to veg out when his phone rang."Xiao Xing and the others?"Chen Shu checked the screen — it was an unfamiliar number."Hello there! You're doing well?"[1]"Huh? How do you know I'm doing well?""??"The man on the line froze, completely thrown off.He checked his phone, wanting to confirm he hadn't dialed wrong."Ahem... I meant — hello! I hope you're well!""What makes you think I'm well?""??"The man's mouth opened, but whatever he'd been about to say instantly died in his throat.Are you fucking sick in the head? I literally just gave a greeting!"May I ask, are you Mr. Chen Shu?""Huh? You know me?"The man breathed a sigh of relief. The conversation had finally returned to normal trajectory.He said, "I'm the manager of Nancang Life Potion Company!""I wanted to... uh... what was I going to do again?""Give me a break! With that level of cognitive function, you're trying to be a scammer? Did you skip the training?"Chen Shu hung up straight away."Mr. Chen, wait... no..."Doot doot doot~The man smacked his own head. Chen Shu's words had completely derailed his train of thought.

A moment later, having regained a sliver of clarity and remembered his objective, he called again."The thing is, Mr. Chen, our company has taken an interest in your laxative formula!""Oh?"Chen Shu raised an eyebrow and grinned. "Good eye. I admire that!"His gaokao footage might not get circulated, but over five thousand students had taken the exam alongside him.Someone was bound to have seen the ground covered in shit and connected the dots to him."We're willing to pay a high price for the formula. May I ask about Mr. Chen's wishes..."His laxative worked on Black Iron Lords, and the effects were solid — of course some company would take notice.The configuration of materials was endlessly variable. No one could study them all inside and out.As things stood, Chen Shu's laxative was one of a kind in the entire country.Of course, in reality, no one would specifically research laxatives anyway — wasn't that purely bored to the point of stomachache?"High price? Just how high?""Ten million! But Mr. Chen would have to sell exclusively to our company.""You don't know my nickname?"Chen Shu frowned. Ten million, and you want to buy out Bandit Brand Laxative?"What?""How about this — I'll give your company the formula for free!"Chen Shu continued, "Additionally, I'll sponsor your company with ten million a year. No equity stake, no dividends — just a pure sponsorship."The man's eyes bulged. For a moment, he couldn't process what he'd heard."Mr. Chen, you're joking, right?!""You're the one who started joking first!"Chen Shu hung up again. How could anyone possibly think he looked like a philanthropist?Ten million was a fortune to an ordinary person, but to him, it was just a drop in the bucket."Seems like my laxative has some market potential!"Chen Shu rubbed his chin, mulling over whether he should sell a bit.But he was worried about shooting himself in the foot — what if someone dosed him someday?He'd never experienced explosive spraying himself, but he had a feeling it wasn't a pleasant experience.And this stuff had no established market price. Too cheap, he'd feel ripped off. Too expensive, no one would buy."Forget it. Alternate dimensions are way easier for making money!"Chen Shu shook his head and started packing his things, ready to head to the Capital.

...

July 8th.Chen Shu was deep in dreamland when a phone ringtone yanked him awake."Hello?""Chen Shu? Uh, I wanted to treat you to a meal. Do you have time?"Chen Shu, who had been half-asleep, jolted to full alertness. He nodded frantically."Yes! Of course I do! Absolutely do!""Golden Red Restaurant on Xiafei Road.""Sure! I'll be right there!"Chen Shu did a carp-flip off the bed and bounced to his feet.Suddenly, something seemed to occur to him. He said,"Just one question — my phone doesn't have you saved, so... who is this?""..."The other end fell into total silence. You don't even know who I am, and you agreed that fast?After a long pause, a voice came through the receiver."Xia Bing!""Ohhh, Committee Member Xia! On my way!"Chen Shu grinned, got up, washed and tidied himself. It was exactly 11:30 AM — breakfast and lunch converged into one.

Soon, he arrived at the agreed restaurant."Big Brother Chen Shu!"Xia Bing and her mother sat together, and beside them were Wang Qinghan and her younger sister Wang Qingxue.Wang Qingxue's face was lit up with excitement, her little hand waving nonstop."Hello, Auntie! Hello, everyone!"Chen Shu grinned and plopped down into a seat.Wang Qingxue was clearly thrilled and wanted to sit beside Chen Shu, but her sister fiercely vetoed the move."Come on, I'm the Nanjiang City Gaokao Top Scorer — is all this vigilance really necessary..."Chen Shu shook his head at Wang Qinghan's actions.

Xia Bing took the menu and started ordering.Chen Shu asked, "By the way, Xia Bing, what made you suddenly invite me to a meal?""I got accepted to a Key University in the Capital. Wanted to thank you."Joy shone in Xia Bing's eyes. She continued,"If it weren't for those ten bonus points from the Beast Taming Competition, I probably wouldn't have made it to the Capital."Her grades were good enough for a Key University, but without the bonus points, landing in the Capital wasn't a sure thing."Congratulations."Chen Shu said. As team captain, he'd earned twenty points; Xia Bing and Xu Xiaoyu had each earned ten. It really did make a big difference.Unfortunately, Xia Bing's combat strength wasn't top-tier, and her contract spirit was only B-rank.In the end, she'd scored 610 — not enough for a Brand-Name University."Just us?"Chen Shu said. Looked like today was basically Xia Bing's Top Scholar Banquet.[2]"Everyone else isn't in Nanjiang anymore."Xia Bing said. Her personality tended cold, and having been promoted from Beast Taming Class 5, her relationships with the others were only so-so.Her only real friends were Chen Shu's trio, Xu Xiaoyu, and Wang Qinghan.As for relatives — because of her brother Xia Yan, they had gradually distanced themselves from mother and daughter.

Right on cue, the server began bringing out the dishes.Everyone started eating.Chen Shu asked, "You two got any summer plans?""I'll be tutoring my little sister. And since I'm leaving Nanjiang soon, I need to find someone reliable to look after Qingxue."Wang Qinghan stroked her sister's head with obvious adoration.Xia Bing said, "I want to take my mom to the Capital for some sightseeing."Xia Bing's mother's eyes lit up. "Qinghan, how about I take care of Qingxue?"Her daughter was about to leave, she'd be lonely on her own — and Wang Qingxue needed someone to look after her.Wang Qinghan paused. This was actually a really good option."Auntie, wouldn't that be too much trouble?"Xia Bing's mother smiled. "Not at all, not at all. Qingxue looks so sweet and well-behaved — I'd be delighted!""Well-behaved?"Wang Qinghan's mouth opened slightly, then she held her silence.Before she'd met Chen Shu, Qingxue really had been the picture of well-behaved. But now...

[1] 你好 wordplay (nǐ hǎo): Mandarin's standard greeting "hello" literally means "you good/well." In the original, Chen Shu exploits this by treating the greeting as a literal statement — answering "how do you know I'm good?" instead of returning the greeting, then repeating the pattern with "how am I good?" when the caller tries to clarify. The English adaptation uses "You're doing well" → "How do you know I'm doing well?" to preserve the same mechanism: treating a greeting as a claim about the listener's state of being, creating an absurd logic loop that progressively derails the corporate caller.

[2] 状元酒 (zhuàngyuán jiǔ): "Top Scholar Banquet." A tradition dating back to imperial China, where the scholar who placed first (进士第一名, the zhuàngyuán) in the highest imperial examination hosted a celebratory feast. In modern China, students who achieve top scores on the gaokao for their city or province continue this tradition. Here, "状元" (top scorer) is used colloquially — Xia Bing isn't literally the city's #1, but the meal serves the same social function: celebrating an academic milestone with close friends and family.