Chapter 1187 - 1184: The Ritual of the Hand-Biting Ceremony

"Shut up—"

The female netizen connected with Ah Qing tried to grab the Red Fox under the table in one go, but the fox slipped away agilely, frolicking around the living room with a face full of joy, even knocking over the phone used for the call on the table. The scene was pure chaos.

The phone might have toppled, but the microphone still dutifully did its job.

"Yaoyao baby, listen to mommy's advice. You're not old enough for makeup yet. Be good, put down that Yves Saint Laurent lip balm in your mouth. Yes... good girl."

"You little fiend!"

"This king must taste how delicious fox meat is!"

Even though the linked livestream screen went completely black, those bursts of eerie "kekekeke" cackling and "ying ying ying" breathy moans still came through loud and clear, letting viewers, who had the stream on in the background, mentally stage a whole "so-much-fun-at-the-mental-hospital" theatre.

"So... do I have to chew on slippers too?"

Crouching on the tea table, Ansheng pulled a disgusted face at Ah Qing and said:

"I'm nothing like that fox's clan. How can you jump to conclusions like that and slander our Xia Country Chi Clan? I, for generations, come from a line of honest Hunters. That one over there, their ancestors were pirates selling slaves, slurping bubble tea in Boston..."

Ah Qing fell silent for a moment, then, face full of emotion, held Huhu's paw. With only clanging fight sounds in her ears, she said in a complicated tone, "Yeah... that's something we really can't learn!"

"But, aside from wagging side to side, can a fox's tail wag up and down?"

"I just heard that sister say that foxes can hop up and spin their tails like a giant windmill, then smack people in the face with it?"

The female netizen connected with Ah Qing had originally come into Ah Qing's livestream to use the festive New Year vibe to swap stories about their 'conditions'.

If you're raising a fox in the city, there's no way you're not a little crazy.

The North American Red Fox named [Yaoyao] had once created an absolutely legendary scene.

That mother fox straddled the robot vacuum, lifted her hind legs, and as the vacuum moved forward, she spun around the living room marking territory, scaring her owner absolutely stupid.

The female netizen had thought they'd be exchanging symptoms, but after that whole linked call back-and-forth, she suddenly realized something was very off.

Meanwhile, Ah Qing had also picked up from the other side some fox-usage manuals—basically, bug-exploit techniques for foxes.

Foxes are like dogs in hardware, cats in software. Their computing power is higher, sure, but even if they can hurl bricks with brute force, there are still some serious spaghetti-code bugs.

"A fox's tail really can wag up and down, but what kind of fox is so bored it takes off its own mud flaps just to splash its butt with water?" Ansheng looked at Ah Qing, utterly speechless, and complained.

"Uh... that's true, I guess?"

Ah Qing froze for a second, feeling that the Little Fox truly had a point. She glanced at the stream and roughly relayed to the viewers what the Little Fox had just said.

"Huhu says it's fake, foxes don't do that, it's all because iced tea went up in price..."

"Looks like that sister over there will have to keep wrestling her fox in hand-to-hand combat for quite a while, so... let's switch to the next viewer."

Seeing that the other side's stream was just black, and that the big sister over there seemed to have been thoroughly subdued by her fox, Ah Qing could only wear an awkward-yet-polite smile, cut the connection, and bring on the next viewer in the queue.

Except—

The moment the other stream lit up and a mummy appeared sitting squarely in front of the camera, Ah Qing immediately lost it.

"Streamer, my Arctic Fox, this silly second, got bitten on the head by a big dog not long after it was born. Can you check if its mental state is normal?"

The mummy spoke and shifted the camera slightly to the side so that everyone in the stream could see a pure snow-white Arctic Fox standing on its hind legs, staring up at its mummy-owner's crotch with a very puzzled fox expression.

The fox's little head was wobbling left and right; ordinary words couldn't begin to describe how cute it was.

[Repaying kindness~]

The viewers, seeing this, typed [Fox Repays Kindness] in perfect unison on the public screen, not caring in the slightest that the mummy was male and the Arctic Fox was also male.

"Yeh—"

Just as the mummy was asking Ah Qing for a diagnosis, the Arctic Fox seemed to spot a blind spot, chomped straight forward, and clamped down on the mummy's crotch, forcing a "Yeh" out of him.

"Ying ying ying—" The Arctic Fox burst into laughter and continued its fierce assault on its owner's crotch, with cries of "Mama yeah" coming out nonstop.

"Uh..."

Seeing such a brutal scene, Ah Qing instinctively clamped her legs together, face twisted in sympathetic pain, and pulled the phone screen a bit farther back as she said:

"Your Huhu's mental state is pretty healthy; it's just picked up some bad habits."

"When you get startled, you subconsciously shout 'Yeh.' Your Huhu thinks that's fun..."

Any pet owner desperate enough to turn to Ah Qing's stream for a cyber-consultation—aside from a few Spirit Beasts—had pets that were all absolutely bonkers once they reached this segment.

Some foxes repaid kindness. Some mama cats entrusted their kittens to college students, then went off brawling with stray dogs over trash cans.

There was even a thirty-odd-jin big greenfish that got stuck in a tree fork and sent a fisherman straight into mental breakdown.

Master Fuli, in the stream, had witnessed the diversity of living creatures for the first time and realized that his own "my heart roams free, infinite transformations" actually had limits.

When it came to making chaos, the Divine Power of the First Epoch was still a crushing defeat before humankind.

As the second drone fireworks show over Jiule began, the scene of the Nine-tailed Fox Sword opening the Heavenly Gate was fully captured on camera. Ah Qing pulled Chen Zhiyu into the stream to wish everyone a Happy New Year together and made plans to go live again tomorrow, taking everyone to roam mountains and oceans.

"I've seen other streamers calling their viewers 'family' to build cohesion. Why don't you do that?"

After the stream ended, Chen Zhiyu, curious, finally asked the question that had been on her mind.

"Uh... I'm afraid they'll scam me into buying health supplements." Ah Qing said, a little embarrassed, "If we're already 'family' and they pitch me health supplements, I'll feel bad not buying them."

"?"

Chen Zhiyu was dumbfounded. Wasn't it usually the streamer scamming the 'family' into buying health supplements? How did things get Reversed Celestial Spirits-style with Ah Qing?

"It's getting late. Our Little Fox still has to go home and set off firecrackers. We'll go to Sister Zhuyu's place again tomorrow." Ah Qing hugged Sister Zhuyu, waved goodbye, and got into the black business van with Lin Ying to head home.

On New Year's Eve at dawn in Xia Dong, you could say it was the stage where villages started competing in financial firepower.

If tonight's fireworks and firecrackers stopped for even a second, wouldn't the neighboring village laugh at them for a whole year?

And over at Chen Zhiyu's place, on the first day of the New Year at dawn, there were also welcoming-the-god and Wandering God activities. Several villages would bang gongs and drums, waking everyone from their sleep to go welcome the gods together.

Of course.

Normally, the welcoming ceremony started at seven in the morning, but people in Xia Dong usually got up at three to burn incense and worship.

After their outing, the group returned to Changxi Town. Ah Qing hugged the Little Fox and headed home.

"By the way, we're out of essential oil at home. Can we use peanut oil instead?"

After her shower, Ah Qing rolled up her sleeves, scooped up the Little Fox who'd been sitting in front of the computer, and carried him into the bathroom. Suddenly remembering something, she looked at the Little Fox and asked.

Before they'd gone out shopping, Ah Qing had made a proposal to the Little Fox—tonight she'd give him the full Rain-style massage combo in exchange for a hand-bite ritual.

Except—

Now that they were home, Ah Qing suddenly remembered something very important.

They... seemed to be out of essential oil.

Ah Qing exercised a lot; her complexion and qi were great. Aside from sunscreen, she basically didn't have any cosmetics at home, let alone nourishing lotions.

"Peanut oil? Honestly, I have no idea..." Ansheng looked at Ah Qing with a face full of question marks. This was the first time he'd heard of a masseuse not recommending high-end essential oils but recommending peanut oil instead.

"But I don't really mind. As long as you wash me clean afterward, it's fine."

As Ansheng said this, he started chuckling. It wasn't that he refused to let her use peanut oil; it was just that she had better wash him really clean afterward.

"...Dish soap?" Ah Qing tentatively asked for the Little Fox's opinion.

"What, you planning on eating Orleans-style Fox Legs? Peanut oil and dish soap..." At that, Ansheng slapped his paw right on Ah Qing's head and rolled his eyes.

"Alright then..."

Ah Qing pouted, dashed out of the bathroom, first went to find Chen Peipei and got nothing, then went to Auntie's room and scored a bottle of lavender essential oil. She hurried back to the bathroom to give the Little Fox the full treatment.

Ansheng "ying"-ed comfortably for half an hour. Ah Qing might not match the Wish List, but when it came to fox-petting, no one on Blue Star could beat her for now.

"Alright then, let's do this!"

Once he'd been blown perfectly dry, Ansheng took Ah Qing's hand and led her to the sink. He took out his phone to start a timer and handed her a brand-new bar of soap as he said:

"Two minutes of seven-step handwashing. I just told Lin Ying to bring a pack of alcohol wipes and antiseptic tissues. Isn't everyone all about ritual these days? Start washing!"

Ah Qing: "......"

Last time you shoved your paw in my mouth, we didn't have such a complicated procedure.