Chapter 229: Vulnerable

I drew sharply on my breath, a bit rushed, but it was what I truly needed right now.

I opened my eyes as my vision blurred momentarily, my legs in sight. I gulped, gripping the parallel bars until my knuckles whitened.

"It’s okay. Don’t rush it," my physical therapist said, her voice encouraging. She had been very patient with me, and if the roles were reversed, Lord knows I would’ve lost it.

"Shift your weight onto your right leg ... slowly."

I chewed the inside of my mouth before forcing out a sound amid the strain. "I-I can’t."

"Yes, you can, Mrs. Salvero. You can."

I nodded tightly, then shifted my weight. Excruciating pain shot through my leg, and I’d have collapsed if I hadn’t balanced myself with the bars.

"I can’t!" I rushed out. "Stop!"

She hastily brought the wheelchair. With her help, I sat down on it, and I could finally relax, but that didn’t erase the foul feeling that settled over me when I looked at the bars.

All these facilities and treatment were more than enough, and they all served a single purpose: getting me back on my feet.

But I haven’t made any progress, and it frightened me greatly that I might be in this wheelchair forever.

I heard a knock, and my eyes quickly veered to the door.

"E-Elliot." There was hidden disappointment in my tone because I had expected Zade.

I haven’t seen much of him ever since I woke up, and it was beginning to feel like he was avoiding me.

I was certain he came in every single day, because whenever I woke up I saw the half-finished whiskey and tumbler. The sofa cushions were wrinkled from how long he’d sat there watching me sleep.

"I’m sorry it took so long for me to come." Elliot walked close, and I smiled.

"It’s okay. I’ve already seen so much of Jade and the twins, and trust me, what I need is alone time and a breather."

"Why?" he asked, curious.

I shook my head. "I don’t know, it’s just..." I sighed, rubbing my temples briefly. "I didn’t expect this much. I woke up to a friend and the twins, who seem like brothers to me. I mean, Luca has always been free around me, but surprisingly, Dante has been too. He actually wiggled my toes to check for a response, and kept asking if I was okay."

He chuckled, and my smile broadened more.

"Then you shouldn’t think too much about it."

"I guess so... maybe it’s my defensive mechanism kicking in. You know, I’ve never experienced so much..."

"Love?"

I nodded. "Yeah, something like that."

He stretched his hand out. "Happy recovery."

I eyed the calla lilies, and all I could think about was Zade. Aside from being so consumed lately, I was unable to move... forward.

I should, because more than anything I have to, if I had any chance of getting back on my feet, but I can’t do that without Zade.

None of this was worth it without him.

"Thanks..." I took the bouquet and placed it on my lap.

Elliot seemed to have discerned that something was wrong, but he didn’t question me immediately. Instead, his eyes did a quick sweep around the room.

"How’s it going?"

"What if I don’t wanna answer that?"

He smiled. "Then don’t."

I nodded. "Could you help me?"

He got my message and came behind me. He pushed the wheelchair, and we exited the room.

"I get that you don’t wanna answer, but you can at least talk about it."

"Let’s talk about you..." I switched. "When were you gonna tell me we went skating together?"

He froze before coming forward, sitting at the bench close to my chair.

"You remember?" His eyes held mixed emotions, and I couldn’t pinpoint all of them at once.

"Just fragments; it’s a jumbled mess, but how could I forget that you were really bad at skating?"

He laughed, and it was nice to hear that sound for a change. When he walked into the room, he looked like he was in pain. He may be Zade’s brother, but he certainly didn’t inherit the masked emotions hidden behind a smile.

"It’s our secret, remember? So don’t go telling," he said, amused.

"Don’t worry... your secrets are safe with me."

He grinned broadly, placing his hand on mine.

"Um, Elliot..."

"Yeah?"

"I heard from the twins. They said you and Zade are in some kind of misunderstanding."

He sighed heavily, not meeting my eyes anymore. "Did they tell you what it was about?"

"No," I said, narrowing my eyes when I caught that relief washing over his face. "Is there something you wanna tell me about?"

"Even if I did, it wouldn’t matter."

I blinked.

"Zade and I..." he paused as if he didn’t know how to put it in a way I’d understand, but that’s the thing. I did.

~☆~

"There was always this... inferiority complex between my sister and me." I nervously fiddled with my fingers. "For so long I tried to ignore it and pass it off as what any sister would have when they have someone in their life that tops them at everything."

"And now?" Dr. Keller asked softly. "How do you feel about that?"

The fragments in my head were beginning to piece themselves together, and the more they did, the more I started to realize who my sister really was.

It was still fuzzy, and half the time I was just straight-up confused with myself.

Which is why I was here, to somehow regulate them by talking about it. Hoping I could understand why this felt so scary for me. Like my brain was warning me about something.

"It feels more like maybe the sister I’ve known all my life isn’t what she seems. And I felt that inferiority complex all my life because of her."

Dr. Keller nodded.

"Did you know my sister, Dr. Keller?" I asked, hoping I could get some insight from someone that wasn’t me.

"Unfortunately, I don’t, Mrs. Salvero. However, based on everything you’ve told me, it seems your memories are beginning to return. I urge you to take it one step at a time and not force anything."

"Thank you, Dr. Keller."

He smiled. "You are always welcome, Mrs. Salvero."

~☆~

Tonight, I didn’t fall asleep. Even though I was exhausted from all the activities today, I did my best to stay awake.

I eyed the clock on the wall, and it was already so late. Wasn’t he coming tonight? But he always comes, so what made today different?

I heard the door, so I quickly closed my eyes, my heart pounding in my throat when I heard the smooth footsteps.

"I know you’re awake, kitten."

I snapped my eyes open and found Zade already at his usual spot on the sofa, pouring himself a drink.

I pressed the button, and the upper part of the bed slowly rose, lifting me just enough to see him.

I haven’t been counting the days, but it must have been a while since I set my eyes on him.

He looked worse than when I woke up. The aura around him has always been energized in a way, but now it was just gloom.

"How did you know I was awake? And don’t say I wasn’t a good actor, because I am."

That smile I hoped for stretched his lips, but it was brief, fading away when he drank from the tumbler.

"Were you watching me?"

"Do you really need to ask me that, Anastasia?"

"And do I have to wake up every morning wondering if you’ll still be here?"

We locked gazes, neither of us speaking for almost a minute as we simply drank in the sight of each other, as though we were seeing one another for the first fucking time.

I grew slightly embarrassed because I had messy bed hair and possibly bad breath.

"Since when did you drink so much?" I had to ask to somehow pivot his focus, but it did nothing to help.

"Since you chose to make me feel alone."

I gasped at his words, but I held onto that as much as it hurts right now to speak. "I didn’t mean to."

"I know. But it’s what I deserve."

"What about me? Don’t you think I deserve..." I eyed my leg. "This?"

"Don’t say that, kitten. You don’t deserve any of this," he said through clenched teeth.

His words were centered on the situation, but I had a feeling there was deeper meaning.

"Can you come close?" I asked. "You’re too far away."

The only response I got from this Serpent was filling his glass once more, and I lost it.

I ripped off the sheets, then forced myself to move.

"Anastasia..." His tone held a warning, but that didn’t stop me.

I managed to swing my legs over the edge of the bed, and a sharp pain shot through me. My left leg had been gaining mobility, but my right was still weak and heavily supported.

Agony found me when I pushed myself to stand, and I’d have fallen over if Zade hadn’t swept me off my feet.

I lost it again as I frantically beat my fist against his chest.

"If you won’t come to me, then let me come to you!" I yelled, letting the emotions stacked up inside me burst out.

I was so fucking mad at him!

I gripped his dress tightly and glared at him, hot tears streaming down my face.

"I need you." I pounded my fist against his solid chest as I sobbed. "I need my husband. Do you hear me?"

I need you," I repeated over and over again.

I buried my face in his neck, holding him so tight and praying he doesn’t let me go.

"I-I need you, Zadey."