Chapter 64

The moment those words left their mouths, both of them froze in surprise.

Di Shunzhi was the first to pipe up in a quiet, teasing tone: "Kiss! Kiss!~"

Tu Shanjin's throat bobbed as his eyes locked with Yun Yaoyao's, and the tips of his ears flushed faintly.

He got to his feet and started walking toward Yun Yaoyao, his steps growing steadier by the second.

Now that he knew exactly what "affliction" he was dealing with, he would face it head on.

Imperial Physician Shan had mentioned taking things further, so he might as well start with a kiss.

Though, kissing himself did take a fair bit of courage.

Tu Shanjin stopped right in front of Yun Yaoyao, leaned down, and rested his hand on the back of the other person's neck, closing the gap between them in an instant.

"Your Majesty... may I?" A soft, ambiguous voice drifted out of his own throat, and Tu Shanjin's face burned bright red.

A low, hoarse male voice, laced with forced composure, replied: "Of course my consort may kiss me..."

Before he could finish his sentence, warm lips pressed against his, swallowing the rest of Yun Yaoyao's words right in his throat.

"Ng...!"

"Whoa!" The three onlookers stared, eyes wide with excitement.

The Emperor had just been forcefully kissed by the Empress, and in such a shameless pose too! It was simply... simply too thrilling!

Di Shunzhi's mind was already brimming with ideas for dozens of racy storybooks, with titles like *The Empress is in Charge, Your Majesty Can't Run Away!* and *My Darling Emperor Gets Snatched by the Empress Again Today!* and so on.

Yun Yaoyao's eyes were wide as saucers as she watched her own face kissing herself with a mix of abandon and shyness, and for a moment she couldn't tell whether she was more flustered or horrified.

Embarrassment, nervousness, utter confusion, a heart pounding like thunder—all these emotions tangled in her chest, until her mind went completely blank, leaving only the sight of the other person before her eyes: deep, focused, with ripples of something unnameable swirling beneath the surface.

Yun Yaoyao had lived as a woman, and then as a man, and she was just short of being a hermaphrodite.

In these two lifetimes, she had never been so lost as to what she truly felt in this very moment.

Somehow, Yun Yaoyao remembered the persona she was supposed to be playing now. She was a ruthless, bloodthirsty tyrant, and she had just been publicly kissed in front of her own officials. Even the most forgiving person would not stand for this!

She was going to be the one on top!

Yun Yaoyao hauled Tu Shanjin straight into her arms, flipping their positions in the blink of an eye.

With one hand cupping his rear and the other resting on the back of his head, she leaned in with a fierce, possessive hunger and kissed him hard right back!

Yun Yaoyao had no idea how to kiss properly, so she imagined the other person was a steak, biting and nibbling at it roughly, determined to win this little contest.

For Tu Shanjin, who had never felt such intimacy before, his heart thundered as tiny jolts of electricity spread from his lips all across his body, overflowing with joy and deep satisfaction.

She kissed him back! Just as he'd hoped, she truly did have feelings for him.

Even when his lips were almost bruised from the rough treatment, Tu Shanjin did his best to meet her halfway.

Shadows of their figures stretched across the floor, drawing ever closer, while the air around them grew thick with the heady, restless buzz of young love.

This intense little show left the three onlookers completely stunned.

They wished they could turn into a bed right then and there, so the two could just get on with making an heir or two for the empire.

Even Zhou Siren, who already had three children of his own, was so flustered that he covered his eyes, stammering: "Th-this... this isn't disrespectful to decorum at all! This is clearly His Majesty, even on his royal tour of the canal, keeping in mind his sacred duty to continue the imperial line! With such a wise ruler, Yan Chi is truly blessed!"

The two bachelors Lin Qingti and Di Shunzhi huddled together, sighing wistfully: "Waaah, being single for too long really makes you can't stand watching stuff like this. Wish you all the happiness, you two are perfect for each other, never break up."

The three of them chorused: "Your Majesty, Your Empress Consort, we shall take our leave!"

With that, the three of them bolted out of the room as fast as their legs could carry them.

The pair, whose lips were almost stuck together like candied sweet potatoes, finally pulled apart after a long while, gasping for fresh air as their chests heaved and their minds stayed completely blank.

Before Tu Shanjin could think of something to say, Yun Yaoyao spoke up, her voice trembling slightly: "We've got a big problem."

"What is it?" Tu Shanjin's expression turned serious at once.

"It..." Yun Yaoyao pointed down at her crotch, her face a picture of pure awkwardness, "it's awake."

Tu Shanjin: "......"

A moment later, the sound of their deadlock drifted out from the room.

"You're the one who lit this fire, so you're the one who has to put it out for me!"

"Just hold it in. This isn't the right time. We'll sort it out and take care of it once we swap back to our own bodies."

"In your dreams. Live for the moment, I say! If you won't help me, I'll just have to take care of it myself. I've been wanting to try that for ages anyway!"

"No! Put your underclothes back on right now!"

"If you won't let me do that, and you won't help me, then I'll just chop this sinful thing off to keep Xiao Wu the eunuch company!"

"Yun Yaoyao!"

Tu Shanjin was completely exasperated by her antics again.

He was trying his best to soothe her—after all, now that he knew his own heart, it was only right that he should coax her a little.

But when he looked at the face he was using to coax his own face, throwing a petty tantrum, Tu Shanjin didn't know whether to laugh or cry, and almost wanted to punch himself.

So he had to both calm the other person down and keep reminding himself to stay patient.

"I own a number of fertile fields, shops, and beautiful mansions near the imperial city. I'll give you all the deeds to them. You can do whatever you want with them."

Tu Shanjin knew Yun Yaoyao was obsessed with money. Back when he'd given her the land and house deeds that Niu Xiur had hidden away, her eyes had lit up so bright that even the night pearls sent as tribute from the southern regions looked dull next to them.

Yun Yaoyao was immediately distracted: "All of them?"

"Deal!"

"I'm going to go cool this sinful thing down first."

Lying in the wooden bathtub, Yun Yaoyao started counting over all the assets she now had in her head.

There was so much of it, she couldn't stop a wide grin from spreading across her face.

She had tons of brilliant business ideas in her mind, but she could never make all these ventures work all by herself.

She needed talented people—people with real skill in business, lots of them.

Thinking of this, Yun Yaoyao leaned back against the edge of the tub and sighed: "Ugh, talent, where are all the talented people? When will you all just come to me of your own accord?"

After her bath, she changed into a dark, ornate robe and stepped out onto the deck. The night breeze brushed against her, carrying a faint chill.

Just then, the soft, melodious notes of a zither drifted over, the tune so tender and touching it was almost intoxicating.

Zhou Siren and the others had also come up to the deck, all turning to look at where the beautiful music was coming from.

More and more boats on the river were drifting over toward them, and everyone's gaze was fixed on a single flower boat, draped in fresh blossoms and sheer gauze, the lovely zither music wafting out from it.

The river wind carried a delicate, bewitching scent that made everyone's heart flutter.

Yun Yaoyao glanced briefly at the other boats that had gathered—hardly any of them were simple ferries. Most were lavish pleasure crafts, carrying nobles and wealthy merchants, no doubt.

Curious, she asked: "Who's on that boat? Why is everyone so drawn to it?"

The others snapped out of their trance and started explaining all at once.

"That's the pleasure boat from Full Jade Tower. With this kind of fanfare, it must be the most famous courtesan of Full Jade Tower, Su Miaomiao."

"She's as talented as she is beautiful, a master of poetry, singing, and music. All the nobles, scholars, and rich merchants adore her. Her rendition of *Song of the Colorful Feathered Robe* is legendary, but only those who earn her respect get to hear it—not even a mountain of gold could buy you a performance."

Yun Yaoyao frowned. Full Jade Tower...

It came back to her that the original novel had mentioned Full Jade Pavilion. To put it bluntly, it was a brothel backed by the imperial court. All the women there had their family members implicated in crimes, which stripped them of their status as commoners and reduced them to the lowest social caste of base status. Some of the women in Full Jade Pavilion were even sent there right after they were born.

The women there both performed for customers and sold their bodies. In an ordinary brothel, a lucky woman might still have a chance to buy back her freedom, but those trapped in Full Jade Pavilion would never be able to escape for their entire lives, and would rot there until their last breath.

It was a place that devoured people without even spitting out their bones.

As a modern person, Yun Yaoyao found this kind of monstrous place completely unacceptable. She knew she could not tear down every brothel in the realm, but Full Jade Pavilion, which hid itself behind the imperial court's banner, had to be brought down.

Lost in her thoughts, a soft, gentle woman's voice drifted out from the pleasure boat on the water: "If any gentleman can come up with a matching line to my poem, this little lady Su Miaomiao will personally board his vessel to play the *Song of the Rainbow Skirt and Feather Robe* for him."

The moment the words left her mouth, quite a few people scrambled to offer their poetic lines, but none of their attempts earned a response from the woman inside the pleasure boat.

All of a sudden, a voice that could not be easily distinguished as male or female rang out from a boat not far away.

Su Miaomiao savored the poem that had been recited, her eyes lighting up brighter and brighter. "What a magnificent poem! It is truly a peerless, ingenious masterpiece! This gentleman, Miaomiao will be delighted to perform the *Song of the Rainbow Skirt and Feather Robe* for you."

Before the pleasure boat could even move closer to the other vessel, the person inside that boat spoke again, their tone thick with sarcasm: "No need. For this very scene, I shall bestow another poem upon you."

"Cold mist veils the river, moonlight blankets the sand, I moor my barge by the Qinhuai River near wine shops. The singing girls know no grief for the fallen realm, across the river they still sing the *Houting Blossom* tune!"

"Two cities at the border of Yan Chi have fallen one after another. All citizens ought to bear the worries of their nation in their hearts, yet you all waste your time here indulging in romantic frivolities. And you, as the famed courtesan, bewitch the masses with your decadent tunes!"

"The people of Yan Chi should all feel nothing but shame for the likes of you!"

The moment these words landed, the crowd erupted in an uproar! The men who had just been vying desperately to catch the courtesan's attention were now so mortified that they ducked back into their boats in a hurry. The poem was so brilliantly written, and its stinging sarcasm was so overwhelming, that none of them could find a single word to argue back.

Inside the pleasure boat, Su Miaomiao's face drained of all color in an instant, and she felt as if every last shred of her dignity had been ripped away.

Just ​​‌‌​‌‌​​‌‌​​​​‌​‌‌​​​‌‌​​‌‌​‌​​​​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌‌​‌‌‌​‌‌​​​‌​​‌‌​​‌​​​​‌‌‌​​​​​‌‌​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌​‌​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌​​​​‌‌​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​​​‌‌‌​​​​​‌‌​​​​​​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌‌‌​​‌​‌‌​​‌​‌​​‌‌​​‌​​‌‌​​‌​‌​​‌‌​‌‌‌​​‌‌​​​‌‍then, another cold, stern, and commanding male voice rang out from a different boat: "I do not agree with what was just said."

The one who spoke was none other than Yun Yaoyao.

She had already figured out exactly who that sarcastic speaker was: that Danling County Princess, the fellow transmigrator who had woken up after falling into the river with a completely new personality and a seemingly endless supply of brilliant verses at her fingertips.

Du Mu's poem was truly a wonderful work, but that woman had used it entirely in the wrong context. The "singing girls" like Su Miaomiao were all miserable people trapped in circumstances entirely out of their control. They could not even crawl out of their own mire of suffering, so how could anyone demand that they worry about the fate of the nation?

"When the nation is in peril, every commoner naturally ought to carry concern for the country in their hearts. Scholars can wield their brushes as spears, merchants can donate silver and grain to the cause—are these not all valid forms of contribution?"

"As far as I know, most of the women in Full Jade Pavilion are female relatives of families that were convicted of major crimes. Miss Su herself was brought to Full Jade Pavilion when she was still barely more than a child. Almost all the earnings they generate flow directly to the imperial court and end up in the national treasury. How can what Miss Su does not count as making a contribution to the imperial court?"

No sooner had she finished speaking than her words won cheers from quite a few of the men. They felt as if they had regained their lost face, and one by one they poked their heads back out of their boats, chiming in.

"This gentleman is absolutely right! We are not here simply to indulge in romantic pleasures. All the money Miss Su earns goes to the national treasury—we are here to send silver to the nation!"

"Exactly! We can't fight on the battlefield when the country is in trouble, so what's wrong with contributing to Yan Chi this way?"

"We are enjoying ourselves entirely for the sake of the nation!"

Hearing those words, Yun Yaoyao could not help but laugh. What a shameless bunch. They did not even feel a sliver of shame, and now they had even managed to pat themselves on the back and act as if they were doing something noble.