Chapter 63

Huyan Mu: ?

Yun Yaoyao pulled a rattle drum from behind her back and gave it a twist, producing a crisp, tinkling sound.

Then she took out candied hawthorns, sugar figurines, pastries, and other snacks, stuffing them into Huyan Mu’s hands.

Yun Yaoyao smiled with the benevolent warmth of a loving elder.

Based on her experience reading so many yandere novels, she knew that yanderes never had normal childhoods. All it took for the protagonist to win them over was a bowl of plain congee and a comfortable bed to sleep in.

What one was denied in youth could haunt one for a lifetime.

Yun Yaoyao didn’t merely intend to send Huyan Mu back to the Xiongnu half a month later in exchange for General Ning. She intended to win him over, tame him, and make him useful to her—to stir up the Xiongnu until the whole place was turned upside down!

Huyan Mu’s pale, tofu-white fingers closed around the rattle drum. His eyes widened slightly.

“You’re really doing this?”

Yun Yaoyao replied, “Of course, my good boy. What else would I be doing?”

At that form of address, Huyan Mu’s fingers paused. A moment later, he smiled.

His laughter came in intermittent bursts, gentle and leisurely, brimming with delight and amusement.

Yun Yaoyao: …Was it really that funny? He sounds like Xiaoyue from Black Magic Fairy.

After he finished laughing, Huyan Mu raised his eyes and stared straight into Yun Yaoyao’s. His gaze was considerably more heated than before.

“All right.

“Father.”

Yun Yaoyao nearly broke character upon hearing those two words. Given the circumstances, even she—a certified weirdo—felt that this was a little too weird.

But that did not stop her from being delighted at having gained another son. She cheerfully answered, “That’s right, my good boy!”

And so, Yun Yaoyao got straight to the point and began brainwashing Huyan Mu.

“Your return to the Xiongnu this time isn’t for your father’s selfish interests… blah, blah, blah…”

“It’s for the sake of world peace, love, and justice… blah, blah, blah…”

“This is an act of great righteousness… blah, blah, blah… You deserve to be worshiped in the Imperial Ancestral Temple!”

By the time Yun Yaoyao had talked until her throat felt scorched, she finally stopped.

“My good boy, what do you think of what Father just said?”

Huyan Mu curled his lips into a smile, his brows and eyes arching like a new moon.

“Father makes a good point…”

Yun Yaoyao nodded in satisfaction. “A promising pupil indeed.”

“But I’d rather rot and stink alongside someone else.” Huyan Mu smiled.

“You unfilial brat!”

Yun Yaoyao was thoroughly irritated after their first clash.

Still, there were four more attempts to go. They had plenty of time. Having completed her conversation mission, Yun Yaoyao left Xianwan Palace without looking back.

The day after the Double Ninth Festival happened to be one of the ten-day rest days. As the name implied, court officials were allowed one day off every ten days.

During the late emperor’s reign, he had lived a debauched life, neglected state affairs, changed the rest day from once every five days to once every three days, and was frequently absent from morning court.

After the workaholic Tu Shanjin ascended the throne, he changed it directly to once every ten days.

Later, after he and Yun Yaoyao switched bodies and the government gradually stabilized, he decided the time was right and wanted to change it to once every half month. Yun Yaoyao sternly stopped him.

Even a donkey on a production line needed to rest before going back to work!

The main reason was that Yun Yaoyao didn’t want to spend half a month in a row attending morning court before dawn.

If that happened, her looks, her figure, her excellent qualities and noble morals—even her very soul—would all be destroyed.

Moreover, while dealing with Du Guanliu and the Du family over the past few days, Yun Yaoyao had discovered that the Du family’s influence was not only deeply rooted but also extraordinarily united. Touch them once, and they would immediately retaliate tenfold.

They could either proceed slowly and spend several years, or even decades, grinding the Du family down—or they could hold their fire, come up with one devastating move, and wipe them all out in a single sweep!

After much consideration, Yun Yaoyao decided to take three days off and organize a team-building outing with her trusted ministers. It would both strengthen their bonds and give them a chance to discuss their next move.

The team-building outing would take place on the North Canal.

The excavation of the north-south canal had been divided into five sections, all under construction at the same time. The North Canal had already been completed three hundred years ago, so the current work involved merely widening it.

It was also the perfect opportunity to inspect the canal’s condition.

After disguising themselves in simple clothes, Yun Yaoyao and Tu Shanjin secretly left the imperial palace. Half a day later, they arrived at the North Canal and boarded the Wanfu cabin.

The moment Zhou Siren, Lin Qingti, and Di Shunzhi saw Yun Yaoyao and Tu Shanjin, they respectfully bowed.

“Greetings, Your Majesty. Greetings, Consort Miao.”

Yun Yaoyao helped them up. “My honored ministers, we are traveling incognito. There is no need for formalities.”

The boat began to move slowly, sending ripples and splashes across the water.

Everyone sat around a table inside the cabin. As Lin Qingti brewed tea, they discussed how to bring down the Du family, each offering his own opinion.

Zhou Siren said, “The Du family has deep roots, and its private businesses are spread throughout Yan-Chi. I believe we can begin by targeting their industries.”

Zhou Siren had been coveting the Du family’s money for quite some time. Ever since becoming Minister of Revenue, he had found himself spending money everywhere and wished he could split every coin into two.

Di Shunzhi said, “The Du family has many descendants. It’s inevitable that some of them have relied on the family’s power to commit wrongdoing. I suggest we look for a breakthrough by gathering evidence of crimes committed by the Du family’s younger generation.”

Investigating people and handling cases was his specialty. After learning that His Majesty intended to deal with the Du family, Di Shunzhi had immediately begun working on ways to smear and discredit them.

Lin Qingti set down his teacup. “The Du family’s Commandery Princess Danling possesses an Imperial Death Exemption Tablet. I suggest we begin with Commandery Princess Danling and deprive the Du family of one of its greatest sources of confidence.”

Yun Yaoyao nodded. “Minister Lin, your idea coincides with mine.”

At the side, Tu Shanjin suddenly lifted his eyes and said indifferently, “Commandery Princess Danling’s fief is in Puyang County, which happens to lie along the North Canal. Is Your Majesty’s canal inspection tour specifically intended to meet with Commandery Princess Danling?”

As soon as he said this, the other three suddenly understood.

Yun Yaoyao took a sip of tea and smiled. “Those who know me best are my beloved consort!”

The conversation then shifted to Commandery Princess Danling.

“Speaking of Commandery Princess Danling, she truly is an extraordinary woman.”

“Before the age of ten, she was as ordinary as anyone else. But after she fell into the water once, it was as if her intelligence suddenly opened up. Not only was she clever and full of ideas, she could also compose poetry off the cuff, and her choice of words and phrasing left many literary scholars utterly impressed!”

“Her poetry is exceptionally—exceptionally—exceptionally good.” Lin Qingti used the word three times in a row. Even this top scholar was filled with envy. “She can write in any style with ease, and her inspiration seems never to run dry.”

“It was precisely because of her talent that the late emperor and empress dowager admired her so much. Later, they even bestowed an Imperial Death Exemption Tablet upon her.”

“…”

As they talked, evening had already fallen.

The river breeze drifted gently through the air. Stars dotted the sky beyond the skylight. There was fine wine in hand and a beautiful woman by their side.

It was rare to have such a pleasant moment, and Yun Yaoyao was suddenly in the mood for some fun.

“With such beautiful scenery before us, how about playing a few rounds of Truth or Dare, my honored ministers?”

“What is Truth or Dare?” the ministers asked, puzzled.

Yun Yaoyao explained the rules. “This was also a game devised by Consort Miao.”

The ministers immediately caught on and showered Tu Shanjin with praise. Then, brimming with enthusiasm, they joined the game.

Yun Yaoyao had someone bring over a compass that had lost its magnetism, then spun its handle.

The handle slowly came to a stop, pointing at Zhou Siren.

Zhou Siren sighed. “As expected, I’m simply born unlucky. Your Majesty, I choose truth.”

Yun Yaoyao thought for a moment, then asked seriously, “I’ve heard that your wife is a terrifying tigress. Has she ever hit you?”

As soon as she asked, everyone fixed their eyes eagerly on Zhou Siren.

Zhou Siren’s cheeks flushed. His rough face somehow took on a bashful expression.

“Often.”

“Pfft—hahahahahahahaha!” Di Shunzhi was the first to burst out laughing.

Lin Qingti and Tu Shanjin couldn’t help laughing as well, a trace of amusement in their eyes.

Zhou Siren tried to smooth things over. “My wife only did it for my own good. They say hitting is affection and scolding is love.”

With that, he spun the handle. It came to a stop in front of Di Shunzhi.

Di Shunzhi’s smile froze. Seeing the eager look on Zhou Siren’s face, he immediately said, “I choose a dare.”

Zhou ​​‌‌​‌‌​​‌‌​​​​‌​‌‌​​​‌‌​​‌‌​‌​​​​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌‌​‌‌‌​‌‌​​​‌​​‌‌​​‌​​​​‌‌‌​​​​​‌‌​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌​‌​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌​​​​‌‌​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​​​‌‌‌​​​​​‌‌​​​​​​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌‌‌​​‌​‌‌​​‌​‌​​‌‌​​‌​​‌‌​​‌​‌​​‌‌​‌‌‌​​‌‌​​​‌‍Siren stroked his chin thoughtfully, then flashed a wicked grin. “Give Lord Lin a coy smile, pout, clench your right hand into a fist and lightly pound him on the chest, then say, ‘Yingge, let your master show you some proper affection~’ After that, blow him a kiss. And remember, the kiss has to make a sound.”

Di Shunzhi gave him a deathly smile. “Lord Zhou, do you really have to take it this far?”

Zhou Siren remained calm and unbothered. “Lord Di, it’s only a game. There’s no need to take it seriously.”

Under the heated gazes of His Majesty and Her Highness, Di Shunzhi endured the sensation of his toes curling and his scalp going numb as he performed the entire routine in front of Lin Qingti.

Lin Qingti: …

Di was the one being punished, so why did he feel as if he were being punished too?

Di Shunzhi spun the handle, and it pointed toward Lin Qingti.

After seeing what had happened to Di Shunzhi, Lin Qingti promptly chose truth.

Following the principle that if one person was going to lose face, they might as well all lose it spectacularly, Di Shunzhi asked with a grin, “I hear Lord Lin has never had a woman by his side. Your virile essence must inevitably overflow, so when and where was the last time you had a wet dream?”

The explosive question instantly turned Lin Qingti’s face bright red. His lips trembled, and he pointed at Di Shunzhi in disbelief. “You… you!”

Under the curious gazes of the other four, Lin Qingti ultimately gave his answer in a voice softer than a mosquito’s buzz.

From then on, it became a three-way exchange of mutual humiliation.

Why wasn’t it all five of them?

Simply because Tu Shanjin had been far too lucky and still hadn’t landed on him.

As for Yun Yaoyao, her luck was terrible. She had been chosen several times, but all the questions directed at her were minor ones, such as what she had eaten for breakfast or which official she liked best.

Don’t ask. The answer was that a subject simply had to know how to handle matters of human relations with their sovereign!

After the pointer had been spun countless times, it finally turned toward Tu Shanjin.

Zhou Siren, who had spun it, was delighted. At last, it was Her Highness’s turn!

Tu Shanjin’s gaze darkened. Truth would easily lead to trouble, so she chose a dare instead. In any case, given her status, they wouldn’t dare ask her to do anything too outrageous.

“A dare.”

Zhou Siren had naturally thought of that as well. He grinned and named what he considered a completely harmless task.

“Your Highness, all you have to do is take the initiative and kiss His Majesty on the lips.”