Chapter 99: The Ultimate Squatter!

"The effect of Ojama Trio: Special Summon three Ojama Tokens to your field in Defense Position, each with 0 ATK and 1000 DEF."

Rowan smiled with generous magnanimity.

"And Ojama Duo summons two more of the same. However, these tokens cannot be used as Tribute Summon material, and when they are destroyed, their current controller takes 300 points of damage per token."

"Consider it a gift. Five monsters, on the house."

The moment Rowan finished speaking, five small puffs of smoke popped into existence across Chazz's field. Out of each one waddled a miniature creature, clearly cut from the same cloth as the Ojama brothers and their red-and-blue companions, but noticeably smaller and no less insufferable-looking.

They plopped themselves down on Chazz's field.

All five monster zones, occupied.

Every single one.

Ojama Token

Level: 2

Attribute: Light

ATK: 0 DEF: 1000

"..."

Bastion, Jaden, and the others in the stands didn't even have water in their mouths, but they still nearly did a spit-take.

Five living time bombs, delivered directly to Chazz's field.

And every available monster zone was now completely blocked.

Forget reviving Armed Dragon LV7. Chazz couldn't even free up a zone for a Normal Summon. If he wanted to use a Spell or Trap to destroy the tokens and clear some space, he'd take 300 damage for each one he popped. Given that his remaining Life Points were sitting at a very fragile 1000, that was less of a solution and more of a different kind of problem.

The world's most stubborn squatters.

Even Chazz's older brothers, both accomplished and composed men in their own right, felt a chill crawl up their scalps.

The only thought either of them could hold was:

Playing cards against this person is like a guided tour through every miserable experience life has to offer.

Principal Foster and the North Academy students were equally stupefied. Since when had Duel Academy's style of play become this... this utterly unhinged?

The principal racked his sun-weathered head for a word strong enough to capture the feeling currently building in his chest, and came up completely empty.

As for Chazz himself, standing across the field and staring at five smug little miniature creatures sitting on his turf like they owned it, his fists had gone rigid.

He wanted to walk onto the field and physically remove them.

And having recently awakened the ability to see Duel Monster spirits made the whole experience dramatically, unbearably worse.

"We're just visiting, don't mind us!" The Ojama Yellow token spirit said cheerfully, somehow already holding a cup of tea.

"That's right, the original over there sent us. We didn't ask to be here either, you know." The Ojama Green token sat with its long tongue drooping, playing up the sympathy angle.

"Well then. Sorry for the intrusion." The Ojama Black token had produced, from absolutely nowhere, a tiny deck of playing cards, and had already started a game with the other two.

Chazz nearly coughed up blood.

The hash marks on his forehead were pulsing like a strobe light.

But there was nothing he could actually do about any of it. His Spells and Traps had been built almost entirely around Armed Dragon, his ace monster. He had nothing capable of destroying monsters on his own field. And even if he had, popping these particular monsters came with a self-destruct penalty he absolutely could not afford right now.

He wasn't just stuck. He was trapped on his own field.

[Ding! Chazz's Emotion Points +1000!]

"I set one card face-down. Turn end."

Chazz said it through clenched teeth, face like the underside of a pan. Setting one card was all he could do. Surviving the turn was the only option available to him.

"Not going to show me that revived Armed Dragon LV7?"

Rowan asked with an expression of pure, theatrical concern. He looked genuinely disappointed on Chazz's behalf.

Chazz felt his fists get harder.

This infuriating, insufferable, absolutely rotten person was throwing his own words back at him.

"Shut it! Your turn!"

He forced himself to take a breath.

"You've got four 0-ATK trash monsters on your field. There's no way you can beat me. And you wouldn't dare destroy my tokens and free up my zones, would you?"

It was the last thread of hope Chazz was holding onto.

If neither of them could break through the other's defense, they'd both just keep drawing until one side ran out of cards. And since Rowan had used Graceful Charity to pull three cards from his deck earlier, Chazz actually held the advantage in remaining deck count.

It wasn't much. But it was something.

"Well then. Let me show you whether I dare or not."

"My turn. Draw!"

Rowan smiled with obvious amusement and drew from the top of his deck.

Then, without even glancing at the card he'd just pulled, he reached for the one card already remaining in his hand and slapped it onto the Duel Disk.

"Activate Spell Card: Dark Hole!"

"Dark Hole?!"

Chazz and Principal Foster both jolted at the same moment. Everyone who recognized it knew exactly what it did.

"This card's effect: destroy every monster on the field."

Rowan snapped his fingers.

A twisting, gravitational void tore open in the space above the dueling field, churning like a wound in reality. The pull was immediate and absolute.

"Nooooo!"

"I do not enjoy this feeling! I'm being eaten, you absolute cowards!"

"This is your fault, you idiot big bro!"

Every monster on both sides of the field, the five Ojama Tokens on Chazz's field, and the Ojama brothers plus Ojama Red on Rowan's, all went flailing helplessly into the black vortex.

One by one they vanished with a cartoonish squeal.

And in the final moment before the vortex closed, five pairs of red underwear came flying out, locked on target, and sailed directly into Chazz's face.