Chapter 497 - 497: Clash of Titans (II)

Three-Arm was caught fast in the Titan's adamantine hand. However he struggled, he couldn't break free, and all he could do was scream in terror.

Kian brought him up close to the Titan's huge face, its mechanical eyes locked onto Three-Arm's twisted features.

"Heh heh heh. You really thought you'd get away again?

"I've let you go twice already. The author, Old Feng, is getting flamed into orbit for it. If I let you run a third time, the comment section would be a war zone!

"Plus this Forge World arc has dragged on so long that everyone's sick of it. It needs wrapping up, fast. So, yeah... you're all out of plot armour, pal."

Kian gave the Titan's power fist a gentle squeeze, and Three-Arm burst with a wet splat into fine red paste.

He wiped the hand off on the Titan's thigh, then turned his gaze to the Gargant lying on the ground.

He stuck out both thumbs like a pair of mechanical pincers, hooked them under the jutting Ork face on the Gargant's front, and started tearing.

With a long, grinding shriek of metal, the big Ork face came away, exposing the frame inside, the mechanical piping, and the wetware chip that was Blackiron.

Blackiron couldn't run even if he wanted to. His lost limbs had regrown straight into the surrounding machinery and fused with it completely.

His face was contorted. Staring up into the Reaver Titan's giant mechanical face, he had tears and snot running down his cheeks.

Right now, he was as scared as a grot!

Kian just looked down at him without a word. Trembling, Blackiron said:

"Hehe... we can make up, yeah?"

Kian clicked his tongue.

"At this point? Surely you jest."

Kian closed the Titan's power fist. Blue lightning from the disruption field crackled across its surface.

Then he raised the fist high and brought it down hard.

"This ends now, Blackiron. DIE!!" (a roar heavy with destiny)

The power fist, as big as a small building, came down so hard that the air around it hissed. Blackiron was about to be wiped from existence.

In that final moment of his life, Blackiron let out one last scream!

"OLD FART KIAN!!!!" (Guts's scream as Griffith sacrifices the Band of the Hawk)

After that scream, Blackiron was ready to die. He closed his eyes and prepared to report in to Gork and Mork.

But he waited a good long while, and the power fist never landed.

Confused, Blackiron opened his eyes again.

The building-sized power fist filled his entire field of vision. It was less than a metre from his face!

It hung there for a good while, then slowly moved away.

Blackiron could see the sky again. He looked up at the Titan towering over him and asked, baffled, "Why ain't ya done it yet?"

Kian scratched his head with the power fist. Seeing a Titan make that gesture was deeply unsettling.

"I just feel like smashing you to death is kind of generic.

"Think about it. You're the guy most responsible for turning Forge World 496a into this whole shitshow. If I just flatten you like that, it'll read so boring in the history books.

"One line: 'The Titan smote him with its fist. Blackiron perished.'

"That's it. See? Don't you think that's kind of generic too?"

Blackiron thought about it. It really was kind of generic. Dyin' like dat wasn't WAAAGH at all.

He asked, "So wot's yer plan?"

Kian thought about it, and a giant yellow lightbulb appeared over the Titan's head.

"Oh! I've got a great idea! Here's how the history books will put it:

"'The Titan and the Gargant grappled for several bouts. The Gargant's strength failing, the Titan seized its moment and smote it with a mighty fist, and the Gargant fell and rose no more.

"'Thereupon the Titan straddled the Gargant and pressed down upon it with its buttocks. Blackiron perished!'

"How's that sound?"

Blackiron felt his brain blue-screen for a few seconds. Then he roared, "Ya wanna SIT me ta death? No! I don't agree! I DON'T AGREE AT ALL!"

"LOL. Who said I was asking for your input~?"

Kian muttered that and walked the Titan forward, step by step, until it straddled the Gargant's face.

Blackiron stared up at the Titan's enormous, pitch-black, grease-slick backside and let out a piercing shriek.

If that thing sat down, he felt like even his soul would come out filthy. When he went back to Gork and Mork, would they even want him?

Kian lined up the angle and was about to plant the Titan's rear end when his mental strain suddenly spiked through the roof. The Titan was refusing!

The Titan's machine spirit found this utterly outrageous. It refused to do it and hit Kian with a massive psychic shock in protest.

"Come on, this is gonna be so cool!

"Think about it. In your whole life you've killed tons of enemies with rockets, tons with your Gatling blaster, and tons more by stepping on them. But have you ever crushed an enemy to death with your adamantium booty?"

Kian tried to talk it round, but with every word the machine spirit resisted harder. A bigger psychic shock slammed into Kian and left his head spinning.

"Come on, think about it. Your cheeks are pure adamantium, right? They made them that hard for a reason.

"Maybe the tech-priests even had this in mind when they designed you. Your instruction manual never says you can't sit enemies to death with your adamantium booty, does it?

"It doesn't, right? If it doesn't say no, that's a yes!"

That only made the machine spirit resist even harder, and an even more violent psychic shock crashed into Kian.

Kian felt the machine spirit fighting him for control of the Titan's legs. No matter what he did, he couldn't get it to sit.

Every time Kian made the Titan squat, the Titan made itself stand back up.

With every greenskin on the field wiped out, the Astartes, the hundred thousand Skitarii, and two hundred thousand combat workers had all gathered around.

They stood in rings, layers deep, staring at the Titan in the centre of the battlefield.

They watched the Titan standing over the Gargant's wreck, going down, up, down, up, down, up.

An Astartes came over to Sergeant Nor'n and asked, "Sergeant, the pilot in that Titan is the Count, yes? What in Terra is he doing?"

Sergeant Nor'n buried his face in his hand. Damn it. He was a mere Astartes. Why, in his one lifetime, did he have to witness a Titan doing squats?

Meanwhile, Kian couldn't win against the machine spirit, so he gave in.

"Fine, fine. If you really don't want to, I won't force you. We'll just smash him to death the normal way."

Hearing that, the Titan's machine spirit finally eased off the psychic pressure and handed control of its body back.

But the instant Kian had control again, he giggled.

"Silly little Titan. Today you learn just how treacherous humans can be!!"

Faster than a thunderclap, quicker than you could say "jingle bells," Kian bent the Titan's knees into a deep squat and threw it off balance, and its enormous frame came crashing down.

A Titan weighed thousands of tons. Once a machine that big lost its balance on the way down, there was no recovering and standing back up!

By the time the machine spirit tried to save the situation, it was far too late. Amid the machine spirit's furious psychic howl, the Titan sat down!

And so the scene played out like this.

Before the eyes of hundreds of thousands of onlookers, the sun was setting, and the whole world was bathed in gold.

On a battlefield thick with smoke, the colossal Titan sat down and crushed the Gargant flat with its butt!

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