Chapter 84: Sourdough Murder

"Stinky?" she said.

One eyebrow rose so high it practically became an upside-down checkmark.

"It had a smell."

"It is supposed to have a smell!"

"Well, how was I supposed to know that?"

Naomi slowly closed the refrigerator door.

Very slowly.

It meant violence was being considered. He sighed.

"I threw her out."

"You..." Her voice came out dangerously quiet. "You... you threw Gertrude out?"

"Stop making it sound like I committed murder!" Dorian yelled.

"That’s exactly what you did, mister!"

Naomi pointed at him. "I have taken care of Gertrude ever since the moment she was born!"

"She was born?"

Naomi continued, too offended to stop now. "I fed her. I watched her. I kept her alive. She has grown beautifully. You heartless bastard. You killed her! You murdered three years of work!"

"It smelled spoiled!"

"It was sourdough! Sour is literally in the name!"

"Naomi! I’ll just buy you another one!"

"Oh yes! Why not just throw money around, Mr Painfully Rich!" Naomi stormed toward him and jabbed a finger into his chest. "Gertrude was a member of my family."

Dorian looked down at the finger currently assaulting him.

"Now tell me why I shouldn’t throw you in jail for killing her, mister?!"

Dorian’s mouth twitched. "Uh, because no judge would even want to hear the case."

Naomi gasped like he had just insulted the dead at her funeral. "I am the judge and the jury, and I say the case will be heard!"

Dorian folded his arms. Apparently there was no point trying to introduce logic into these proceedings. "What will my punishment be?"

"Saturday is cancelled!"

"Hey! Hey! Hey!" He grabbed her around the waist just as she started to pull away.

Naomi fought the smile threatening her mouth. Dorian looked genuinely horrified.

"Lets not decide anything drastic. Really? Isn’t that too steep for some sour stuff?"

"Sour stuff?"

He immediately corrected course. "For Gertrude. Beloved Gertrude. Probation or a fine?" he bargained. "Come on. I missed last week."

Naomi folded her arms. The threat was completely useless. She knew it. What amused her was that Dorian didn’t.

Cancel Saturday?

Please.

She had already spent enough time thinking about midnight to qualify it as a scheduled appointment.

The second Friday became Saturday, she fully intended to jump that ass.

Naomi narrowed her eyes and maintained what she hoped was an appropriately offended expression. "You get me another sourdough starter."

Dorian nodded immediately. "Yes."

"At least a year old."

"They have ages?"

Naomi’s eyes narrowed farther.

"Sorry. Continue."

"Anything less than that..." She left the threat hanging.

"Yes, ma’am. Could you please label things I shouldn’t throw away from now on, especially if they smell funky? I never lived with a chef before," he added defensively.

"That is not an excuse for murder."

"I thought I was preventing food poisoning!"

"She was perfectly healthy!"

"She was bubbling. And why the hell am I calling it a ’she’?"

"She was alive!"

"Isn’t that a good reason to be concerned?! An alive ingredient in the refrigerator?!"

Naomi glared. He pulled her closer.

"Fine. I will replace Gertrude."

"You cannot replace Gertrude."

"I will acquire Gertrude 2.0."

Naomi tried not to laugh. His hands settled around her waist. He leaned down and placed a kiss against her forehead.

"Seriously," he murmured, "label the science experiments in the refrigerator."

A voice interrupted from the doorway.

"Am I interrupting something?" Ginny’s voice came from the doorway.

Both of them turned toward Ginny. Dorian stepped away from Naomi so quickly it was suspicious.

Naomi frowned at him. What was wrong with him? He was standing like physical contact with her might get him arrested.

"Do you knock?" Dorian demanded.

Ginny looked entirely unbothered. "I parked in the garage. You linked my car to your system, remember?"

Dorian narrowed his eyes. "I should revoke that."

Ginny rolled her eyes and turned toward Naomi instead. "Naomi, ready?"

"Uh... would you give me a minute to just dress up? I’ll be right back."

"Take your time."

Naomi hurried out of the kitchen. Ginny waited until she disappeared before slowly turning toward her brother.

Dorian knew that look. He hated that look.

"Soooooo..." Ginny dragged the word out. "Things are intimate with the wife."

Dorian’s face immediately went blank. He reached for his phone. "She is my wife."

"Yes. I am aware."

"Then I’m not sure why you’re surprised."

"Because you didn’t touch the last one, and she was a wife too."

"Mum really needs to learn to keep things to herself."

"Oh, please. Nobody needed Mum to explain Camille. The two of you looked like divorced people before the divorce."

Dorian gave her a flat look and picked up his laptop bag. "I have work. And you have a wedding to plan."

"With your very intimate wife." Ginny smiled innocently.

He started walking toward the door. "None of this on the group chat. And if I see one message about this, I will cancel your honeymoon trip."

"You are a terrible brother."

"And yet somehow your honeymoon is still being paid for by me."

Ginny merely waved him toward the door. Dorian stepped into the elevator and hit the button for the garage.

He pulled out his phone before the doors had even closed. There was one problem left to solve.

Gertrude.

Or rather, Gertrude’s replacement.

He called Adrian. The man answered quickly.

"Morning, boss."

"Find out everything there is to know about something called sourdough starter."

"That doesn’t sound like anything that has to do with you or your profession."

"Trust me, it has to do with a murder case." Dorian ended the call before Adrian could ask another question.

The elevator doors opened into the garage. He stepped out, already reaching for his keys when his phone buzzed.

He glanced down.

Heathcliffe family group chat.

Dorian didn’t even need to open it to know what had happened. Ginny had lasted, what, two minutes? He opened the notification anyway.

GH: Dorian is sleeping with number four.

The message was followed by several emojis that somehow made the betrayal worse.

"Ginny."