Chapter 201: The Weight of a Shaman

Kellar remained by the bedside, watching over Elia and Loria until the rhythm of their breathing grew steady. Only when he was certain both were sound asleep did he stand up and walk into the living area.

There, waiting for him near the hearth, were Maya, Meli, and Mila. Seeing them, a sharp pang of guilt tightened Kellar’s chest once more.

"I am sorry..." said Kellar, bowing his head before them. "I am sorry for not being here to protect you as I should have. It was my duty to protect this home, and I left you unguarded."

Maya looked at him with warmth and shook her head, while Meli and Mila stepped closer to his side.

"You are an idiot, Kellar," said Maya. "You are the Shaman of this tribe. You carry the entire burden of our people on your shoulders. We understand what you are doing, and we are here to support you, not to be a hindrance."

Kellar framed a smile and let out a long sigh.

"You could never be a hindrance," said Kellar, pulling them close. "Come here, I need to check on you."

Kellar used his [Medical Knowledge] skill to evaluate Maya, Meli, Lia, and Mila. To his relief, their pregnancies were progressing without complications. With all of them expecting his children, the house was filled with warmth that stood in contrast to the brutality of the outside world. To ensure their well-being, Naya, Kaelis, Naida, and Ayla remained close at all times, tending to their needs.

Yet, despite the comforting scene, anxiety refused to leave Kellar’s mind.

The tribe’s medical knowledge was not developed enough. Even though the military personnel could treat certain blunt force injuries using the protocols he had taught them, they were following orders to the letter without understanding the underlying science. It was a learning process he could not accelerate overnight. Kellar could not split himself in two, nor could he remain in the village at all times to protect them.

While Kellar remained immersed in those thoughts, Helga approached him in silence from the hallway. She crossed her arms and looked at him with a mix of reproach and sorrow.

"Am I the only one who has yet to conceive?" asked Helga. "Don’t you think you are neglecting your duties with me? I feel left out."

Kellar sighed, turning toward her.

"The situations are different," said Kellar. "The will of the gods is not something we can command."

"I am sure you can do better than that," said Helga, taking a step forward. "And you had better keep your word."

She pulled a small piece of hide from within her garments and handed it to Kellar.

"Do you know who gave me this?" asked Helga.

Kellar unfolded the scrap of leather and read the lines etched upon it:

"I will return soon. I am on a mission for the Shaman. I know that in all these years I could never give you a child, and it has been my greatest regret. I know the Shaman will perform a miracle. When I found out you were already with him, I couldn’t help but rejoice, for I thought you would be stubborn to the death. Trust him; I will return soon."

Helga took another step forward, locking her eyes onto Kellar’s.

"I want to know what is going on with Krag!" exclaimed Helga. "You made me turn him into a slave! I watched him get tortured! I watched you strip everything away from him! I was his executioner, the man I shared so many years with, and now I find out that everything was part of your plan?!"

Her shout echoed through the room. Elia and Loria jolted in bed, whimpering in their sleep as the damp cloths slid off their foreheads.

Kellar turned quickly to ensure both remained asleep, adjusting their blankets once more. He then turned his gaze back to Helga.

"Let’s talk outside," said Kellar. "I will tell you everything."

Kellar stepped out into the yard. The night air was crisp, and the flickering torches cast long shadows across the timber.

"Krag is neither a traitor nor a broken slave," said Kellar. "It was all a calculated charade from the start so he could infiltrate the enemy tribes without raising suspicion."

Helga clutched the hide between her fingers, her breath hitching as she listened.

"I needed a spy no one would question, someone we had broken," said Kellar. "Krag accepted the burden. He endured the humiliation and the punishment because he knew it was the only way to secure the tribe’s long-term survival."

Helga lowered her gaze to the lines etched on the leather, feeling her anger give way to a tight knot in her throat.

"I made you participate because your reaction had to be genuine," said Kellar. "If you had known the truth, any hesitation on your face would have blown his cover and gotten him killed."

Helga stood in silence for a few seconds before looking back up at him.

"Is he safe?" asked Helga.

"He is fulfilling his objective," replied Kellar. "And he will return when the mission is complete."

Helga pressed the scrap of hide against her chest, her shoulders trembling as the hardened barrier she usually wore crumbled.

"Why did he do it?" asked Helga.

"The person who does this will be, after me, the most powerful person in the tribe," replied Kellar. "They could even decide the life and death of our people... I could not trust this mission to anyone other than him."

Helga looked up, her eyes glistening with tears.

"And why did he agree without telling me?" asked Helga.

"Because it is the will of the Bear God," said Kellar.

Helga could no longer hold back and began to weep, covering her face with her hands as stifled sobs escaped her throat.

"I betrayed him... I abandoned him..." whispered Helga through her tears.

"You didn’t," said Kellar, taking a step forward to hold her. "From the day he left, the only thing he asked of me was to take care of you... He only wanted you to experience the joy of becoming a mother. He thought that without him in the way, everything would be easier for you."

Helga shook her head, feeling an unbearable weight crushing her heart.

"It’s not possible," sobbed Helga, clenching her teeth. "I’m a slut! The moment he left, I crawled to you like a whore!"

"Don’t say that," said Kellar, holding her face to force her to look at him. "The things that happened are the will of the Bear God."