Chapter 105 - 32: This Is Fine

Chapter 105: Chapter 32: This Is Fine

Lilia stopped in her tracks.

The sharp reprimand had been a blurted, instinctive rejection.

Lilia had never seen this side of Victor.

In her previous life or this one, never.

The young man’s hands were clenched, his chest heaving violently.

Hidden from Lilia’s view, his light gray eyes were now a searing crimson.

The voice in his head, the one he could never shake, was screaming.

Screaming to get close to her, to grab her.

To embrace her, to tear her apart.

Until she was one with his very blood and bone.

Victor bit down hard on the tip of his tongue, and the thick, metallic tang of blood immediately filled his mouth.

Sanity clawed its way back, and the double vision before his eyes began to fade.

Victor braced his hands on the tabletop, rising from his chair with extreme slowness.

He didn’t look at Lilia.

He was afraid that the moment he saw her, the frantic roar in his mind that he had just barely suppressed would surge back and take over his consciousness again.

And then...

He couldn’t guarantee what he would do to Lilia.

"...I’m fine."

Victor said, his voice hoarse.

"Fine?"

Lilia didn’t believe him. "You haven’t been seen for a whole week. I came to find you, but your valet said no one was allowed to disturb you."

"I was worried about your safety... What on earth happened?"

Victor held his breath and didn’t answer.

Of course, Lilia wasn’t going to let him go just because he was silent.

Her intuition had always been sharp. "Is it that manuscript?"

Victor’s body stiffened instantly.

"When we last parted, you said you were going to study it some more."

Lilia guessed, "Did your research yield new results? And those results... are they something you can’t let me know?"

"Or did something go wrong during your research, and you’re trying to hide it from me because you don’t want me to worry?"

Seeing he was still silent, Lilia took a step forward. "Victor."

"Look at me."

"Answer my questions."

TAP.

The tap of her black leather shoes on the wooden floor was sharp and clear.

As the girl drew near, her unique sweet fragrance wrapped around him like a spider’s silk, threatening to ignite a flame that would burn what little sanity Victor had left to ashes.

He bit down hard on his tongue.

The sharp pain that shot through his mind helped him cling to what little clarity he had left.

Victor’s thoughts were like gears that had long since rusted shut but were now being forced to turn, grinding with extreme difficulty.

’I can’t stay silent.’

’Lilia has always been persistent; she won’t give up until she gets an answer.’

’But I can’t tell her the truth either.’

’Knowing Lilia’s personality, she’d insist on getting involved, no matter how dangerous it is for her.’

’So...’

’There’s only one way to make her leave.’

Victor took a deep breath and said in the calmest voice he could manage, "...I re-examined the Spells and found some new clues."

’As I thought.’

Lilia was not surprised. "What kind of clues?"

"At the moment... it’s still unclear."

Victor’s fingers clenched into a fist, his neatly trimmed nails digging deep into his palm. Sticky blood oozed from the wounds. "So I need to go see for myself."

"Go where?"

"The border of the Light Kingdom... Navia."

"Navia?"

Lilia fell into thought.

Having spent the last six months with Veronica and the others, she was no longer the pitiful little Princess who knew and understood nothing.

She knew Navia was a county of Light, located on the Kingdom’s border, just as Victor had said.

It was called a county, but its remote location meant its economy couldn’t even compare to any of the small towns surrounding Hillflan. Add to that Navia’s modest population and its proximity to the Valgipps Mountain Range, and the amount of arable land was extremely limited.

Unable to expand its agriculture and lacking any unique industries, Navia had almost zero presence in the entire Kingdom. Even the most ignorant child in the city knew it was better to be a beggar in Hillflan than a country squire in Navia.

’A place like that...’

’Could it really be hiding a secret related to Demons?’

Lilia said, "Navia is at least a thousand kilometers from here. When are you planning to leave?"

"Perfect. I was also planning to leave Hillflan before Adrian gets back..."

Lilia’s original plan had been to wait until the matter of the Crown Prince’s succession was settled, then ask the new Crown Prince for a boon—to be allowed to leave the palace.

This was the safest approach. In the future, she wouldn’t be seen as a thorn in the side by Veronica and the others simply because she had Royal Family blood.

But now, since Victor presented a more reasonable and convenient excuse, she no longer needed to stay here and get involved in the dangerous battle for the Crown Prince’s throne.

Lilia said, "I’ve saved up some money over the years. If you’re not in a hurry, wait for me to pack, and we can go together..."

"No."

Victor cut her off.

Lilia swallowed the rest of her sentence. "...Victor?"

"I won’t be going with you."

The young man’s voice was utterly cold, like ice that chilled to the bone. "You’re too weak. You would only be a burden to me."

Lilia fell silent.

She looked up at Victor, at the tall, slender figure who hadn’t once looked her in the eye since she arrived.

’Too weak.’

’Only a burden to him.’

Lilia spoke, her voice soft. "Are you serious?"

"Of course."

Victor’s voice was strained.

At that moment, a sharp pain pierced not only his mind but the depths of his heart, causing his vision to swim with darkness.

He summoned all his strength to make his voice sound steady and indifferent. "I’ve wasted enough time here already."

’Wasted time.’

’He’s saying... everything he went through with me at the Royal Court was a waste of time?’

Lilia bit the inside of her cheek.

After a few seconds of silence, she suddenly laughed. "I guess my suspicions were right after all."

Hearing this, Victor instinctively wanted to turn and look at her but forced himself to resist the urge.

Lilia paid his lack of response no mind, continuing on her own, "You never really intended to study those old texts with me. You just thought I was a nuisance and were patiently playing house with me."

"And once the game was over and the secret was out, your patience ran out too. That’s why you’re tossing me aside so casually now."

"It’s alright."

Lilia said softly, "I’m not sad at all. I’m used to it, anyway."

With those words, she turned and left without a single pause or moment of hesitation.

The sound of Lilia’s footsteps faded into the distance until Victor could no longer hear them at all.

As if his strength had finally given out, his tall, slender frame collapsed back into the hard chair.

[How pathetic.]

The voice in his head was laced with poison. [If I were you, I would charge over, grab her, and hold her tight in my arms.]

[Don’t tell me you don’t want to do that—to embrace her, to kiss her, even to... ]

"Shut up."

Victor clenched his jaw.

He looked toward the doorway, as if through that narrow, empty view, he could still see the girl’s resolute back as she walked away.

Victor reached up and clutched his chest. Through the fabric of his robe, it felt as if he were grabbing his own heart, which was aching so much it felt like it would tear apart.

’This is for the best...’

’This... is for the best.’