Chapter 572: An Analogy About Pee

Heka nodded slowly, absorbing every detail, her mind working through the implications of what he had just revealed.

"I see… that explains a great deal about your resilience and rapid growth," she began, her voice thoughtful.

Then something sharp clicked into place behind her eyes, a sudden realization that made her stop walking entirely.

"Eh?! But how did you survive then?! You did it every single day when you were human, didn't you? How did your body and soul withstand such constant exposure?"

"Hm? I don't know. Luck, maybe, or perhaps some hidden factor that I haven't yet identified." Benjamin gave a small shrug, his shoulders rising and falling with casual indifference. "However, as I became a demi-god, my stamina was boosted as well, enhanced to match my elevated status. Magic, mental power, spirit—all of it is not a problem anymore, no longer a concern or limitation. After all, I'm nearly spirit and man at the same time."

They began walking again, their pace slow and contemplative, turning a corner that led down a gentle slope into a quieter part of the city.

The street narrowed further, the buildings pressing closer together on either side.

Lantern light grew scarcer, leaving longer stretches of soft shadow between the pools of gold, the darkness deepening in the gaps between illumination.

"Ah… But why are you so exhausted right now if your stamina is limitless, matching your demi-god status?" Heka asked, keeping pace beside him, her footsteps light on the cobblestones.

Her voice was quiet, matching the calmer surroundings, carrying a note of curiosity.

Benjamin's expression shifted, the earlier lightness fading into something more sullen, his features clouding with thought.

He stared ahead for a few steps before answering, his gaze fixed on the darkened path before them.

"About that… Do you know this feeling? When you are too mature to play with sand and dirt anymore, too old to engage in childish games, so you just watch kids do it and smile, feeling a bittersweet nostalgia for what you have lost?"

Heka's gaze drifted upward as she searched her own memories, her eyes growing distant. A faint, nostalgic smile touched her lips, her expression softening with recollection.

"Uhm… Probably when I had just reached adulthood, when I realized I could no longer run through the fields without care. The urge to play once more would be like withdrawal syndrome, a craving that could not be satisfied." She scratched her cheek lightly with one finger, her brow furrowing with the memory.

Benjamin stopped walking and turned to face her fully, his feet coming to a halt on the worn cobblestones.

His blue eyes were stern, the usual playful light replaced by something heavier and deliberate, a seriousness that cut through the night air.

"Well, I'm trying to prevent that, to delay that inevitable moment," he said, his voice cutting through with quiet determination. "I know that day is coming when I'll have to grow up, when I'll have to accept the weight of my existence and responsibilities. But I want to delay it as much as possible, and hold onto this version of myself for as long as I can."

Heka's own expression softened into melancholy, her vibrant brown eyes growing distant with understanding.

She looked at him with compassion, her voice gentler than before, almost a whisper in the stillness of the night; "Benjamin… It does not matter. You can play with the children and act like a kid all you want, indulge in childish behavior without shame. We love you and we would never criticize you for being yourself."

"What?! I get the feeling you don't understand what I'm trying to say," Benjamin's reaction was immediate and sharp.

He snapped his head toward her, frustration flashing across his face at the pitiful look she was giving him.

"You're missing the point entirely! I didn't mean it literally!" He explained, "I am currently doing some really complex and difficult system-bending to make myself as human as possible, to suppress the demi-god within and function like a normal person. That's why I can bleed, sweat, sleep, and poop!"

Heka blinked, processing his words, then nodded as a separate thought surfaced in her mind, her expression shifting to one of mild realization.

"Ah, at some point it did seem like you loved pooping."

Benjamin's expression collapsed into fresh exhaustion, his shoulders drooping with the weight of her misunderstanding.

"That's not the point I'm making... The demi-god is a very powerful and dangerous person, a force of nature that exists beyond mortal understanding. It's almost as if he's not supposed to be in the physical realm. If I'm not suppressing him, I won't function like a person. I won't be able to relate to others or experience life the way I want to. It's very difficult, a constant struggle that requires unending effort, but it's very worth it, because it lets me stay connected to the people I care about."

A soft blush rose across Heka's cheeks as the deeper implication settled over her—that he was choosing to remain human, with all the limitations that entailed, because of the people around him, because he valued his connections more than his power.

"I don't know what to say, what words could possibly express how I feel right now," she murmured, her voice ringing with emotion.

Benjamin continued, his voice lower now, almost confessional beneath the quiet of the sloping street.

"So that's why I can get 'exhausted.' I can feel tired and worn like anyone else. But even so... I am tired because I was hiding my perverted actions from Seraphina and Renard, trying to mask what I was doing while they were nearby. It was like trying to walk around a slippery slope with a cup filled with water on your head, constantly balancing and adjusting to avoid disaster."

Heka's concern deepened, her brow furrowing with worry. "But can you not let the demi-god out sometimes, just a little, to ease the burden? Maybe you can vary the power you receive, control the flow and release small amounts."

Benjamin shook his head at once, his expression firm and resolute.

"It's not that simple, not a matter of degree or moderation. You know, when I'm fully a demi-god, I can see the whole of the continent without even trying to, my perception extending across vast distances. It feels cool only in theory. But in reality, it makes me feel isolated and… alone.

"And keeping it at bay this much is like holding pee: it just increases the chances of you peeing yourself as time passes, the pressure building until it becomes unbearable. Telling me to release some of the power is telling me to pee a little when my bladder is about to burst, a risky gamble that could backfire catastrophically. I might let it all out, lose control entirely, and it'd be bye-bye Thaad, the city and everyone in it."