Chapter 49: Contrasts And Deep Thoughts

The office break room smelled like coffee and was hot from the heat radiating from the printers...

Sophia stood at the counter with a paper cup she had not sipped from, watching the rain drops fall down the side of the window.

She sighed. It had been a month of the same gray weather and rain, and a month with the same empty desk two rows over from hers.

"Still nothing?"

She turned. Haruto from another department had a folder under one arm and relaxed expression on his face. "Ethan I mean. It’s been what... A month I think?"

Sophia looked at him. She had expected him to bring this up. She shook her head. "No. HR hasn’t heard from him either."

Haruto exhaled through his nose and poured his own coffee into the paper cup he had picked from the stack to his left. "The manager sent another warning this morning. If I remember right, it said that if he doesn’t show or respond by the end of the week, they’re letting him off. He had already gone too far from the attendance policy anyway. He had it coming."

"I know that." She replied quietly.

"I’m sure you do." He leaned against the counter, taking a few sips from his coffe. "If you’re wondering about where he is, dont. Half the floor thinks he just... left after what happened." He shrugged. "People talk. You know how it is."

Sophia’s fingers tightened on the cup. The rejection had not stayed private even though she did not raised her voice, or told anyone about it.

She had not been cruel in any way that would look dramatic, rather, she had simply told him the truth — that she did not feel the same, that she valued him as a colleague, and wished he would not bring it up again. He had accepted it; better than she expected. Then, in the days that followed, he had not come, not once...

"I might have been too hard," she said before she could stop herself.

Haruto glanced over. "Sophia."

"I’m just saying. I keep thinking there was a softer way to say it... or a better time." She set the untouched coffee down. "I didn’t want him gone. I just didn’t want—"

"You didn’t want to date him." Haruno interrupted with a flat tone. "That’s fine. If you don’t feel anything for him, you shouldn’t twist yourself into knots over his choices. He’s an adult. Disappearing is on him not on you doing your job for being honest."

The words were reasonable. And she knew that there was no point in trying to argue over it.

Haruto pushed off the counter and tossed the used cup into the trash can. "Anyway. If he turns up, tell him the email pile is getting ugly. If he doesn’t... try not to beat yourself up over it. You’ve got enough on your plate as it is."

Saying that, he left without waiting for a reply.

Sophia stood alone, staring at the cup with the cooling coffee still in it.

An image popped up in her head: An image of Ethan at his desk, always a little tired, always buried in his work with the same bored expression on his face.

She remembered one of their earlier discussions. The way he told her that he wanted something more from life. The way he told her that he hated how boring his life was.

She sighed and looked up towards the ceiling...

"I wonder how he’s doing..."

***

Ethan woke up to morning light and the weight of another person next to him.

He sat up and rubbed his eyes. For a second, the image of his office and the break room where he always stayed during his free time clung to his mind.

The way the enviroment outside looked under the rainy weather, then to Sophia.

Her face, he side profile, her voice...

He wondered how the other workers were coping now that they had lost a set of hands...

He sighed and turned to Lila. She was asleep beside him.

She lay by his side with one arm curled near her chest, her face half-buried in the pillow, and her hair sprawled across it.

Her face softened in sleep. She had a very peaceful expression on her right now.

She exhaled deeply and adjusted her head, and a few more strands of hair fell over her face...

Beautiful, he thought, he never knew anyone could look this beautiful even in sleep...

An image of Sophia appeared in his mind again. He remembered the day he caught her dozing off in office after was forced to go to a party overnight with some friends.

He mentally dropped the image of her next to Lila. They were more or less alike, but very different. It was not about ranking one against the other in who looked more beautiful or anything like that.

It was more about the effect they both had on him.

Where Sophia had occupied his old life like a fixed point he orbited until the orbit was simply refused, Lila had walked straight into the wreckage of this one, argued with him, trained beside him, and fallen for him.

He watched her breathe for a while longer and something like a smile formed on his lips...

He felt almost guilty that someone like her had fallen for someone like him.

He wondered... Would he allow himself to feel the same way?

He was more worried that he would not be able to reciprocate the feelings the same way if he did...

He knew that Lila was fine even if she didn’t get an answer from him but she would only be content for so long.

He knew that sooner or later, she would ask what she was to him.

And that was a thought he didn’t want to think about right now...

He sighed, and opened his system. He had decided against checking it the previous night so as to give Lila the attention she wanted. It was the least he could do anyway...

He looked through his stats... it was time to see what changed with the new level he had reached...