Chapter 30: For The Both Of Us

Astrid’s POV

Four days had passed and I hadn’t seen Draven once.

When I finally laid eyes on him on that fourth day, my chest tightened. He looked miserable. He hadn’t shaved. His clothes were rumpled and his eyes were sunken like a man who hadn’t slept in days.

"Draven!" I ran to him and threw my arms around him. Tears burned the back of my eyes and almost spilled over.

"How are you doing?" I asked, pulling back just enough to look at him ... running my hands over his cheek, his chest, every part of him I could reach. I already knew the answer. He was pale and looked worse than shit. But I needed to touch him and feel for myself that he was still alive.

"As you can see," he said quietly, "I’m alive."

We had been given one hour before the hearing. One hour to see each other, to say what needed to be said ... our goodbyes and farewells, in case things didn’t go our way.

I didn’t like what I saw on Draven’s face at all.

I looked far better than him by a mile and I knew it. I hadn’t suffered one bit during those four days. Prison or not, one of the guards had been sneaking in extra food every day. He’d even brought me my requested dessert ... straight from Ethan. I had been treated like a queen, even in chains.

There was nothing a good fuck couldn’t fix. And I would do it all over again to buy my freedom, because I wasn’t tensed ahead of that hearing. Not even a little. I had already traded our freedom in the back of Ethan’s car that night.

Ten minutes had gone by and we still hadn’t really spoken. I’d been too busy tearing up and running my hands over him, checking him, making sure he was real.

"Can I tell you something, Astrid?" Draven asked.

"Yes. Of course you can."

"In this life, and in my next one ... I want you with me." He looked straight into my eyes. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you."

It wasn’t just a confession. He had come face to face with his own mortality and he wasn’t going to die with those words locked inside him.

I had loved Draven and shown it ... verbally, dramatically, every way I knew how. But he had never been this outright. We had only ever been fucking. So hearing those words from him, in that moment, cut right through me.

It melted me completely.

"You really mean that?" I asked.

He reached up and wiped my eyes. It was always a fountain with me at the slightest thing.

"I mean it, Astrid. You’re the best person I’ve ever met."

He took my hands in his and I gripped them tighter than I probably should have.

In that moment of pure truth, we looked at each other and I kissed him. Deeply. Like it might be the last time.

His mouth moved against mine with everything he had. We exchanged something in that kiss that went beyond words ... I could feel his love for me, bigger than it had ever been ... and I didn’t want it to end.

Our kiss lasted longer than I could count. It swallowed more than half the hour we’d been given.

"Why are you still crying?" Draven asked when we finally broke apart.

I couldn’t hold it back anymore. I had done something. To him. To us. My guilty conscience wouldn’t let me breathe.

Fuck. Conscience really is a bitch.

"What if I told you we could still be together after this?" I said.

He looked at me ... that slow, sharp look of his ... like the words didn’t add up.

"You can’t know that for sure," he said carefully. "We’re going into a hearing. Judgement doesn’t always favour the one who did the crime."

"We should get married."

"What?"

"Yes, Draven." I held both his hands in mine. "Everyone knows about us now. There’s nothing left to hide. When this is over ... when we get out ... we should get married."

"What did you do, Astrid?"

"Do you love me enough to marry me?"

"This is strange." His voice dropped. "I love you and I want to marry you, but something is off. What happened?"

"Just promise me we’ll get married." I tried to dodge it. I needed him to say it first.

"I’ll marry you, Astrid. I love you."

I went down on my knees. Whatever strength had been holding me up gave way the moment the words formed in my throat.

"You can tell me. It’s fine." Draven crouched down beside me and held me.

"Freedom comes with a cost," I said. "And I paid the price for ours."

"What do you mean?" His face had already shifted. Something dark moved across it.

"I fucked Ethan Allen. He promised me we’d be free."

"The Information Minister?"

"Yes." I couldn’t look at him anymore.

He pulled his hands away from me and stood up, stepping back three paces.

"You... you..." He couldn’t finish the sentence. His mouth moved but nothing came out.

"I want you in my life. I need you in my life ... that’s why I’m telling you this." I stood up and moved toward him. He raised his hand.

"Don’t come near me." His voice cracked. "How could you?"

"I did it for both of us. Don’t be selfish."

"Selfish?" I saw the tears rise in his eyes then. Real tears. "You’re mine and only mine. Of course I’m selfish."

"Does this change the fact that we’re getting married after all this?" I asked.

He stared at me for a long moment, then started shaking his head slowly.

"You really have guts."

"Guts for what? I love you, Draven."

The door swung open. The guards.

"Time’s up, lovebirds! Out ... now!" the guard barked.

We weren’t done. We hadn’t even started. Draven stormed out of the room without looking back.

"Draven, wait! We’re not done!" I called after him.

The guard grabbed me by the arm and dragged me straight to the courtroom.

Fuck.

I spotted my parents the moment I walked in ... sitting right at the front, front row. They wouldn’t have missed this for anything in the world.

There were far more people packed into that courtroom than the last time. They had all come to watch Astrid Ironheart fall. They could sit there and drool. I told myself that and I meant it.

"All rise!" the judge commanded.

The room stood. Draven and I took our places on the podium.

"We are here for the judgement of Draven Blackstone and Astrid Ironheart. You may be seated." She struck her gavel once, clean and final.

She went quiet, opening the book in front of her. I was supposed to know how this ended. Ethan had promised. But somehow, standing there in that room with all those eyes on me, my chest was tight and my hands weren’t steady.

"By the order of the Alpha, your judgement is as follows." She looked up. "Draven Blackstone ... for the murder of Zane, of which you have been found guilty having fired the killshot ... you are hereby permanently banished from the land of Bloodmoon. You are never to be seen within its shores or borders again. To default on this decree will result in death on sight. This is effective immediately."

The entire room erupted. Gasps, murmurs, shock rippling through the crowd. They hadn’t expected that. Neither had I.

Ethan had fallen short of his promise. But not by a hundred percent ... and somehow, that made it worse. If he could do this to Draven even after everything, even knowing Draven’s connection to Alpha Roran of the Bloodmoon Pack, then I had nothing to count on anymore.

I started panting. Sweat broke out across my skin.

I’m fucking dead, I thought.

But then ... if they banished the two of us together, we’d at least be free together. We could still get married. But what about my family? My parents? I loved them too much to just walk away. A dozen contradicting thoughts crashed through my mind all at once.

"For Astrid Ironheart ..." the judge continued, "by declaration of the Alpha, the supreme authority of Bloodmoon through whom I speak ... you are hereby acquitted and set free. You have not been found guilty of the murder of Zane."

Draven looked at me.

I wasn’t surprised. But damn ... all was fair in love and war. I was free.

"However, for the doctoring of evidence, you will be placed under house arrest for one week, effective immediately."

"As for Selene Ironheart ... having been found not guilty, she is hereby declared innocent. She will not be returning to Bloodmoon, as the Alpha of Winterwood has already claimed her. So says the Alpha."

The room exploded. Loud, messy, chaotic ... cheers and outrage at the same time. My ears rang with it.

The judge adjourned and my parents rushed to me, arms open before they even reached me.

"We love you," my mother said, both of them kissing my face and my hair like I might disappear.

"Mom. Dad. Give me one minute."

I broke from them and pushed through the crowd toward Draven. But they wouldn’t let me through. He was already in handcuffs, already being processed for exile.

"I love you, Draven," I said across the barrier as they marched him out.

He didn’t turn around.

The guards formed a wall around me on the way out of the courtroom, shielding me from the people who surged forward ... the ones who wanted to scratch me, pull my hair, make me feel every ounce of what they believed I deserved. I made it to the car safely. The one that would take me and my parents home, where I’d stay locked under house arrest for the next week.

"Fuck you ... thief! Bitch! Murderer! Mate snatcher!"

The words chased the car as we pulled away.

The hatred in their voices was loud enough to follow me home. And I knew ... if the things I’d done didn’t eventually destroy me on their own, the entire Bloodmoon community would finish the job with their shame and their contempt.