Chapter 364: Everyone Has Secrets

Chapter 364: Chapter 364: Everyone Has Secrets

Guan Shan made dinner.

Ji Huan’s right hand was bandaged, and she wasn’t used to using her left, so she had planned on just throwing something simple together.

But Guan Shan sat her down in front of the stove, lit the fire, stuffed it with wood, and told her to just watch the flames.

Watching Guan Shan wash his hands and prepare the meal, Ji Huan grew even more puzzled.

She had guessed before that Guan Shan came from a high-status family. But didn’t the sons of noble houses all subscribe to the saying that a gentleman stays far from the kitchen?

Never mind the gentry; even common townsfolk believed in that principle.

Take their own village, for example. In more than half the households, the men never set foot in the kitchen. They ate the food when it was ready and left their bowls and chopsticks on the table when they were done. The man works outside, the woman inside—women’s work was for women to do.

Even if the women worked both inside and outside the home, these chores were still theirs.

Hu Liang was an exception, but that was only because years ago, Widow Xie had to go out to work. He stayed home to look after his younger siblings and nephew, so he had no choice but to cook. They couldn’t just wait to starve to death.

Guan Shan, however, seemed completely unaware of this concept. He always took over the pot scrubbing and dishwashing after every meal, and now he had even taken over the cooking...

Ji Huan wondered, ’Could I have guessed wrong? Is Guan Shan actually from a poor background?’

But she immediately dismissed the thought.

Literate, well-mannered, skilled in both scholarly arts and martial combat—how could an ordinary family raise someone like that?

’Perhaps... after years of serving in the army, one has to learn to take care of oneself. It’s not strange to pick up some necessary life skills. I’ve heard most soldiers know how to mend their own clothes, so cooking probably isn’t a stretch...’

While she was lost in her wild thoughts, the food was ready.

Guan Shan had made pickled vegetable congee—quick and easy.

Ji Huan took a bite. The consistency was just right, neither too salty nor too bland. Although it wasn’t particularly delicious, it was far better than she had expected.

She gave Guan Shan a thumbs-up and, to show her appreciation, ate two full bowls.

Guan Shan lowered his gaze to watch Ji Huan as she focused on her food. His tense expression gradually softened, and a warm glint appeared in his eyes under the dim, yellow light.

Dabao, on the other hand, was not so appreciative.

He was used to Ji Huan’s cooking and was a very picky eater, especially since Guan Shan had made this meal. He scrunched up his face and deliberately clanked his spoon against the bowl. Only after Ji Huan shot him a couple of glares did he reluctantly finish one bowl.

But Guan Shan didn’t seem to mind.

After cleaning up and washing, Ji Huan returned to her room. She rested for a moment in the armchair and was just about to change her bandage when Guan Shan knocked and entered.

"Let me change it for you."

Ji Huan paused. "No, it’s fine. I can do it myself."

It wasn’t as if the wound was in a place she couldn’t reach.

However, Guan Shan’s words had clearly been a statement, not a request.

He took the medicine bottle from Ji Huan’s hand, unwrapped the gauze for her, and took a cotton swab from the open medical kit—Ji Huan often used them when treating his wounds, so he knew how.

His large hand enclosed her fingertips, prompting her to straighten them.

Ji Huan felt a little awkward and had to hypnotize herself. ’The things I did when I was taking care of him were far more intimate. This is just applying some medicine, it’s nothing...’

He dipped the cotton swab into the pitch-black ointment and carefully applied it to the wound.

After he finished, he didn’t immediately wrap it with fresh gauze. He just stared at her badly swollen palm, his eyes deep in thought.

After a moment, his thumb twitched, and he gently stroked the spot. "Does it hurt?"

His voice was a little low and raspy, and combined with that gesture... that strange feeling rose from the bottom of her heart again.

For the first time, Ji Huan didn’t quite dare to look Guan Shan directly in the eye.

Guan Shan asked again, "Does it hurt or not?"

Ji Huan’s first instinct was to shake her head, but for some reason, she gave a slight nod instead.

"It hurts, but it’s bearable."

Guan Shan lowered his eyes, his palm closing tightly around her four fingers.

He had never cared for the words "power and status" until today, on the streets of Yeyang, when Ji Huan was bullied and could only endure it repeatedly. Because of his own concerns, he too could only do so much and no more.

Ji Huan’s yielding wasn’t just because she was afraid of trouble, but more so because she was worried about exposing him.

’If I had a legitimate identity, if I still held power in my hands, who would dare to subject her to such humiliation?’

’Power, status...’

Guan Shan’s expression grew darker and darker.

"Guan Shan, can we talk?"

Ji Huan’s clear voice pulled Guan Shan from the depths of his dark thoughts. He looked up. It seemed he already knew what she wanted to talk about, but he still agreed.

"That horse is your mount?"

Guan Shan nodded.

"Your rank in the army wasn’t low?"

Guan Shan paused, then nodded again.

"Colonel? General? Assistant General? Deputy General?"

Ji Huan didn’t know much about military ranks, but she figured that to have a personal mount, he must have been at least a mid-level officer, right?

Guan Shan met her question with silence.

’All right, it seems he doesn’t want to answer that question.’

"Well, do you know General Han Wenguang?"

Guan Shan was silent for a moment before saying, "I know him, but he might not know me."

’So they aren’t close.’

"When I was at the pastry shop today, I heard two people talking. They said this General Han Wenguang is a veteran official who has served two emperors and is highly respected. Even General Kou served under him when he first joined the army and was promoted by him personally. He must be a wise and insightful old man..."

Ji Huan tapped her chin. "I was thinking that if you knew him, maybe you could talk to him in private... But even if you don’t, it might still be worth a try, right? If you tell him about your predicament, maybe he’d be willing to uphold justice and deal with the person who harmed you. That way, you wouldn’t have to hide anym—"

Guan Shan cut her off. "I have no predicament."

Ji Huan was taken aback. ’How could he have ended up like this with no predicament?’

"Then let’s talk about your injuries. Based on my previous guess, you were wounded so badly because of a personal grudge, and you didn’t deny it. I just want to ask, was the person who hurt you a colleague of yours? If so, is that person still in the Northern Pass army?"

Troop deployments often changed, but if the person who had injured Guan Shan was still at the Northern Pass, then Guan Shan would have to be careful whenever he went out.

Guan Shan answered this question decisively. "No, and he is not."

"Then where is he? Who is he?"

Guan Shan fell silent again.

And with that, Ji Huan knew there was no point in continuing the conversation.

’I thought that since Guan Shan was willing to tell me his horse’s name, it meant he wanted to open up to me completely.’

’Apparently not.’

He wouldn’t lie about the things he could say, and he wouldn’t utter a single extra word about the things he couldn’t.

The problem was, the things he couldn’t talk about were exactly what she truly wanted to know...

Ji Huan just couldn’t understand. Someone had harmed him so terribly, so why was he still protecting the culprit?

’What is it that he can’t talk about?’

’Or is it that he can’t tell *me*?’

Her chest felt tight. She stood up from the armchair.

"Let’s not talk anymore. You should go back to bed. I’m tired too."

As she turned to leave, Guan Shan grabbed her wrist.

After a long silence, he said in a low voice, "Knowing too much isn’t good for you."

Ji Huan thought about it. ’He’s right. If we’re ultimately just passersby in each other’s lives, then there’s really no need to know too much.’

"Fine. I won’t ask again."

She pressed her lips together and made a gesture like she was sealing them shut, looking as cheerful as ever, even a little playful.

But Guan Shan knew she was unhappy.

After blowing out the lamp and lying down on the kang bed, Ji Huan also found it strange. ’What do I have to be unhappy about?’

’Everyone is essentially an island. We all have secrets we can’t speak of. Just like my own origins—can’t I tell anyone about that either?’

But... even though she understood the logic, she still tossed and turned until the middle of the night before finally falling asleep.

In the darkness, Guan Shan sat on his bed with one knee bent, his back against the wall. He stared up at the ceiling beams, the image of Ji Huan’s final, forced smile flashing in his mind.

He closed his eyes and let out a self-deprecating laugh.

’How could Ji Huan possibly know? A rat in the gutter has no place to plead its grievances, even if it’s been wronged.’

’What he wanted, he could only rely on himself to get it.’

’As for why he had vaguely revealed certain things to Ji Huan, perhaps it was out of selfishness. Or perhaps... even he himself didn’t know.’