Chapter 115: I thought he was dead!

By the time I finish my shower, I feel slightly more human.

Not entirely. My ass still hurts, my head is pounding, and I am still considering whether I should go back downstairs and finish what I started with Jeremiah.

Perhaps I should invest in unbreakable plates.

It would save Linda the trouble of cleaning up after me.

I sigh and wrap myself in a towel, stepping out of the bathroom, i get dressed in a comfortable pair of shorts and an oversized shirt before reaching for my phone.

I need to speak to Oli.

I have been putting it off since last night, partly because I didn’t want to scare her and partly because I wasn’t ready to say the words aloud.

But she deserves to know.

Whatever happens next, I refuse to let my sister be blindsided by the same nightmare that nearly destroyed us before.

I tap her contact and wait.

She answers on the fourth ring.

"Rissa!"

Her face fills my screen, and I can’t help smiling.

"Hello to you too, drama queen."

"Oh, shut up. I’ve missed you."

I laugh, and for a few minutes, we talk about ordinary things.

She tells me about the apartment, about how Nathaniel has been hovering around her like an overprotective bodyguard, and about how he nearly drove himself insane because she wanted to go downstairs for a glass of water without waking him.

"He’s ridiculous," she complains, rolling her eyes. "Yesterday, he tried to convince me that I shouldn’t bend down to pick up my slippers."

I snort.

"Well, technically, you could fall."

"Rissa!"

"What? I’m only saying."

"You’re supposed to be on my side!"

"I am on your side. I’m also on the side of common sense."

She glares at me, and I grin.

A soft, almost disbelieving smile spreads across her face as she places a hand on her stomach.

"Guess what happened this morning?"

"What?"

"The baby moved."

I straighten.

"What?"

"I felt it. A little flutter at first, and then another one. I thought it was my imagination, but it happened again."

My mouth falls open.

"Oli!"

"I know!"

"Oh my God!"

"I know!"

We both start laughing, and suddenly I am grinning so hard my cheeks hurt.

"That’s amazing!" I exclaim. "Oh my God, you’re actually growing a little human in there."

She laughs again, her eyes shining.

"I know. Sometimes I still can’t believe it."

I stare at her stomach as though I might somehow see the baby through the screen.

"Do you think it’s a boy or a girl?"

"I have no idea."

"It better be a girl."

She raises an eyebrow.

"Excuse me?"

"A girl. Obviously. We need someone to spoil. I’ll take her shopping, buy her pretty dresses, teach her all the important things in life."

"Such as?"

"How to recognize a terrible man before he ruins your life."

"Rissa!"

"What? That’s a valuable life skill."

She laughs, shaking her head.

"And if it’s a boy?"

I pretend to consider it.

"Well, I suppose I’ll love him too."

"How generous of you."

"I’m a very generous aunt."

Perhaps one day, when it is finally safe for all of us, we can do all those ordinary things.

The thought makes my chest ache, because I want that future so badly.

For her, for myself and for all of us.

A comfortable silence settles between us for a while.

I clear my throat.

"Oli?"

She looks at me.

"What’s wrong?"

I stare at her face on the screen, suddenly wishing I could reach through it and hold her.

"I met Il Diavolo."

The smile disappears from her face and for a second she doesn’t move.

"What?"

"The Devil. I met him."

"What do you mean you met him?"

Her voice rises sharply, and I wince.

"I mean exactly what I said."

"Rissa, what the hell are you talking about?"

"I didn’t actually see him," I explain quickly. "He sent someone."

She stares at me confused so I take a breath and tell her everything about the gala.

Oli goes completely silent, shaking her head repeatedly.

"No."

I say nothing.

"No, Rissa. That’s impossible."

"I wish it were."

"I thought he was dead!"

"So did I."

"Papa told us he was dead!"

My fingers tighten around the phone.

Papa had told us that the Devil was gone. That whatever threat he represented had been dealt with. I was young enough to believe that hearing those words meant we could finally breathe.

I had built my life around that belief. Even after everything that happened, even after the nightmares and the fear, I had believed the worst was behind us.

Apparently, I was wrong.

"Oh my God." Oli covers her mouth with one hand. "Rissa, this is bad. This is really, really bad."

"I agree."

"No, you don’t understand. If he’s alive, if he’s actually back..."

She trails off. She doesn’t need to finish, I know exactly what she’s thinking.

"Well," I say, attempting a laugh that sounds more like a cough, "if the Devil is back for me, I’m in for a very long ride."

I pause.

"Me and everyone else unfortunate enough to be around me."

"Don’t joke about this!"

"I’m not joking, Oli."

My voice comes out quieter than I intend.

"I’m trying not to lose my mind."

Her eyes fill with tears.

"What do we do now?"

I look away from the screen.

That’s the million-dollar question, isn’t it?

What do you do when the monster you were told was dead suddenly sends someone to put a bullet in your head?

"I don’t know, Oli. But I’m going to call Cas after this call and alert him."

I hear her sniff then a sob.

My heart cracks.

"Oli..."

"We can’t go back there, Rissa."

She wipes at her face, but the tears keep coming.

"You can’t go back. You can’t let them take you back there. You know what happened last time."

I close my eyes.

Of course I know.

I remember vividly even though there are parts of that time I would rather forget.

"It’s okay, Oli. You’re okay."

"How can you say that?"

"Because I need you to be okay."

She shakes her head.

"I can’t have this now, Rissa. I’m about to have my baby."

Her voice breaks on the last word.

"I’ve barely started believing that we’re going to be all right. I just started feeling the baby move. I was happy this morning, and now..."

She presses her lips together, trying to stop herself from crying.

I wish I could hug her, I wish I could promise her that the Devil is nothing more than a ghost from our past.

But I can’t lie to her about that....So I give her the only promise I can.

"You and your baby will be fine."

She looks at me through watery eyes.

"I promise, Oli. Just focus on growing that sweet little child in you. Let me worry about this."

"But what if..."

"No." I soften my voice. "No what-ifs. You have a baby to take care of, and I need you to take care of yourself. Please."

She takes a shaky breath.

"Have you spoken to Cas?"

"No."

My eyebrows draw together.

"Why not?"

"I’m worried he’ll ask me to come back. Or worse, he’ll tell Uncle Lorenzo where I am."

I frown.

"He’s your brother."

"And he’s loyal to the mafia, Rissa. You know that. He might think he’s doing the right thing by telling Uncle Lorenzo my location."

She looks down at her stomach.

"Besides, he’s still angry with Nathaniel. I don’t know what he’d do if he found out where we were. He might use the opportunity to get back at him."

I understand her fear, even if I don’t entirely agree with her conclusion.

Cas can be many things, but he has never been careless with the people he loves. Still, I know how complicated family loyalty can become when the mafia is involved.

"But you’re his sister," I tell her. "He would understand."

"Maybe."

She gives a sad little smile.

"But I’m not willing to take that risk right now."

I nod slowly.

"Okay. I understand."

We sit in silence for a moment.

"Please be careful, Rissa."

"I will."

"Promise me."

"I promise."

It’s a promise neither of us can be certain we can keep.

But I make it anyway.

"Take care of yourself, okay?" I tell her. "I need to call Cas."

She nods, wiping her cheeks.

"Goodbye, Rissa."

"Goodbye, Oli."

"I love you."

My throat tightens.

"I love you too, sis."

The screen goes dark and for several seconds, I continue staring at my reflection.

Then I lower the phone and take a long, shaky breath.

One down...One to go.

I open Cas’s contact and press the call button.

He answers on the third ring.

"Rissa?"

His voice sounds distracted, as though he’s doing three different things at once.

"Cas?"

"Sorry, sweetheart. I’m kind of busy right now." I hear movement in the background, followed by a muffled voice I can’t make out. "Can I call you back later? I’m in the middle of something."

"No, Cas. It’s important. It can’t wait."

"I’ll just...."

"Salvatore came for me yesterday."

Silence.

I sit up straighter.

"Cas?"

"What did you just say?"

His voice has changed so completely that I barely recognize it.

I swallow.

"Salvatore came for me yesterday. Well, not him personally. He sent someone to the gala I attended with Lysander."

I tell him about the man, the gun, and the message.

And then, when I have finished, I finally allow myself to say the words I have been trying to keep locked inside my chest.

"I’m scared, Cas."

My voice breaks and I hate that I sound so small.

But this is Cas.

The person who stood between me and danger more times than I can count. With him, I don’t have to pretend to be fearless.

"It’s okay, Rissa."

His voice is suddenly gentle.

"It’s okay, sweetheart. You’re fine. I’m here."

I press my lips together, fighting the sting behind my eyes.

"I don’t know what to do."

"You don’t have to figure everything out right now. Just breathe for me, all right?"

I obey, drawing in a slow breath.

"That’s it. Again."

I do it again.

"Good girl."

A shaky laugh escapes me.

"I hate when you say that."

"I know.....I won’t let anything happen to you," he says. "Do you hear me, Ris? I promise you on my life."

I close my eyes.

"I believe you."

And I do. I believe Cas would tear the world apart to keep me safe.