Chapter 212 – New Family Member

Lilyth

My head hurt. A lot.

I shouldn't have drunk that much last night.

It had been two months since Nyx adopted me, so, on the night none of my wives could stay with me in the Realm of Air, she and the other gods threw a little “Welcome to the Family” party for me, so that I wouldn't feel alone.

I was never much of a drinker; I didn't drink at all back on Earth and only a little on Dwynveia, so I was not prepared for how strong Divine Booze would be. Like… all I could remember was the party starting, me drinking a cup of the really tasty drink Nyx made for me and then…

Is it possible for something to have more than 96% alcohol?

Someone stirred in the bed next to me.

Don’t be Nyx. Don’t be Nyx. Don’t be Nyx.

It turned out to be someone way worse. My bed partner was Ereshkigal.

Ohhhh… fuck.

‘I really should stop drinking this much,’ she groaned to herself.

There was a flash of green light that hurt my eyes.

‘Oh, fuck!’ Ere, having noticed me, yelped in surprise and sat up, revealing her slender naked body from under the bed covers.

She immediately lifted the duvet to cover her breasts, but that only uncovered my own bare form.

‘Hnnnnngh,’ I protested.

Ere touched me on the shoulder, and with another flash of light, the hangover went away, and my thinking got somewhat clearer.

‘Thanks,’ I groaned. ‘This never happened?’

‘This never happened,’ Ere agreed.

‘What the fuck did you guys give me last night, anyway?’ I asked Ere, who still looked as if a Chainsaw Car ran her over, as she slowly sipped coffee from a cup.

‘Distilled mana spiked with what you like to call “god juice” for extra kick,’ she groaned.

‘I probably don’t want to know what that will do to my liver or the rest of my body,’ I sighed and placed a plate of jam-covered rabbit-shaped bread slices before her.

Ere smiled seeing that.

‘Let’s just say “Welcome to the Family” might have been literal,’ she said in a grim tone and then chuckled. ‘Just fuck… scr… messing with you. It will probably enhance your magical capabilities for a while, but should have no long-term effects.’

‘That’s good to hear,’ I said as I sat next to her with a plate of jam sandwiches of my own. ‘Not many things that can get a god drunk, eh?’

‘Yup. Divinity is a bitch in that regard. For obvious reasons, we don’t drink that often, and I tend to overindulge whenever a chance occurs.’

‘Being a goddess of Death sucks that bad, eh?’

‘You have no idea. There is no way for me to describe it in a way that I wouldn't make myself sound like a victim. I am not one. It is all you mortal bastards. You spend your whole life dreaming, forming bonds, and making plans, only for all of that to be ripped away from you. Children dying of cancer, parents sacrificing themselves for their kids, people getting murdered for a few coins… You have it all… and then you find yourself standing before a pale cunt who tells you it is now all over. How is that fair?’

She began to weep.

‘Y-yesterday… th-there was a f-fire. A m-man fell a-asleep and k-knocked over a c-candle. A s… st-stupid acc-accident. H-his w-wife and… and th-three chil-children d-died. Th-they w-were a-awake w-when… when…’

I ran over and wrapped my hands around her.

‘H-how d-do you c-comfort a f-five ye-year old w-wh…’ she choked on the words.

‘There… Let it all out…’ I caressed her head.

‘S-sorry…’

‘Don’t be. Even goddesses need a shoulder to cry on,’ I said softly. ‘I can be yours whenever you need.’

‘Th-thank you.’

‘Thank you,’ Nyxie said after Ere went back to work. ‘I don’t envy her the job mom gave her.’

‘Mom?’ I asked.

‘Lady Madness. Or rather Lady Chaos. The Chaos from Which Everything Was Born.’

What.

‘She broke cover when she explained the Ascension Thrones to Savvie, so might as well get you up to speed.’

‘Sav forgot to mention that.’

‘Just like you didn't mention Malika’s title to her. Some things are just difficult to bring up. Also… don’t worry about your one-night stand with Ere. I won’t say anything to the other lovebirds if you won't. I was the one who served you god hooch after all.’

‘Oh, shit. I didn't think about that.’

‘That’s what I am here for, sweetie.’

I ended up admitting my indiscretion to my wives. I was never good at keeping secrets like that, and based on future developments, it proved to be a VERY good idea. And hey, it turned out that “being very drunk courtesy of Nyx” is a valid excuse. Especially after Aki decided to try the god hooch.

“Your funeral,” Nyxie laughed.

The end result involved slurred singing, proclamations of love and a lot of cleaning.

‘I am never drinking alcohol again,’ Aki muttered the next morning, looking as if she had just crawled out of a grave.

Unfortunately, life wasn't all experiments, drunken sex with deities and sober sex with my wives. There was also royal work to do, and that involved me having to travel around Ror-Bhyk and finally visit all of my lands. Even cheating by using Phosi Express, the whole endeavour took us a fucking month. A MONTH! I could have spent that time more productively. Like… by experimenting. Or having drunken sex with deities. Or sober sex with my wives.

Still, the whole mess wasn’t a complete waste of time, and I managed to get a lot of research done on various Dwynveian afterlife myths and stories, some of them indeed very promising, though the places they led me…

‘I have good news and bad news,’ I began after gathering our group in our base under Mer-Cas a few weeks later.

It was still under construction, but enough rooms were ready that we could turn it into a briefing room.

‘I’ll start with the good news,’ I continued. ‘I figured out a way for us to enter the afterlife. The bad news is… we will have to abandon the trip for now. Possibly forever.’

It hurt me to say that. Leaving Dain dead was a difficult decision.

‘What’s the problem?’ Sav asked.

‘We are. There is no way for any of us to enter the Realm of Death and survive. Like, entering will outright kill me due to my heart and Phosi, best I can tell, is barred from entry from any of the fae realms due to her... living situation.'

'That is correct,' the Sconryoll nodded. 

'As far as the rest of you go, this is basically a suicide mission. One that is a non-starter anyway. To elaborate: the only way to enter from the mortal world is by performing a ritual, one I couldn't locate in any of the spellbooks I looked through, in an area with a high level of Death contamination. Entering that will also kill me, by the way. Once you perform said ritual, you enter an area where… You know how you have to limit your time in Mom’s palace or undergo a transformation to be able to stay there?’

My friends nodded.

‘The afterlife is ten times worse than that. I found records of a Second Expedition, some jackass did there…’

I picked up a book and began looking for the passage I wanted to quote.

‘The First ended prematurely because he ran out of slaves he used to test the survival methods on.’

‘Seems like a real catch,’ Caei muttered.

‘Yeah, Daven Zi-Nyr was a real man of the people, anyway…’

‘Don’t you mean Sainyr?’ Phosi asked. ‘They were one of the three founding Houses of the Empire, along with Caivers and Vanders.’

‘I can’t rule that out. The journal predates the Empire, so the spelling and the pronunciation could have changed. Anyway, to quote “The spell we got from the Necromancer appears to have worked, and our scouts have been able to survive within the realm of the Dread Queen for up to an hour.” I have no idea what spell he is talking about.’

‘So, basically, we need two unknown spells to get inside?’ Caei winced.

‘Three, actually. And this is where “we” become the real problem. If I understood the passages correctly, once you enter… people you hurt begin to torment you.’

‘Ohh… shit,’ Sav said. ‘Never expected to say this, but good thing most of the people I killed were in Paul’s world.’

‘Good try. But… no. Some of Daven’s men reported seeing people who were still alive, meaning those apparitions are at least partially born out of guilt.’

‘Fuck.’

‘That checks out,’ Ren chimed in. ‘The few myths I remember mention the heroes getting confronted by their dead mothers and such. I always thought that it was… what do you call it…’

‘A narrative device meant to teach you to be good to people?’ I suggested.

Ren nodded.

‘Turns out… real as fuck,’ I sighed. ‘Now, the few older stories I found all mention some sort of a token or an offering meant to placate the angry spirits. Which makes me think that there is some third spell we will need to discover.’

I looked at Aki.

‘Your mom told you some really obscure legends, got any hints, hon?’

She shook her head.

‘The stuff she told me mentioned a talisman, but as you said… it was probably a magical item imbued with some spell we don't know.’

‘So… we really can't save Dain,’ Ren sighed.

‘Not right now,’ I shook my head. ‘There is always the “ask Ere for some task” path, but having recently paid off all of my divine debts, I am good. Especially since we likely will need to do that to get Deirdee and Persephone out.’

‘We could also ask ‘Phone for advice,’ Aki suggested.

‘It was the next step I planned to suggest.’

‘There is another person we COULD ask,’ Sav said sheepishly. ‘I imagine Lady Madness might be able to help.’

‘Fuck no.’

‘Thought as much. Off to the Realm of Shadow, it is.’

‘Argh!’ Caei screamed, throwing one of Nyx's spellbooks at the floor. ‘I can't make heads or tails of it. What is this bullshit?’

‘Really advanced magic,’ Sav replied. ‘I think those fancy Fire spells ‘Phone used were like it.’

She read one page a few times and, with a circular wrist motion, said:

‘[Spirit of Joy: Soothing Touch]’

A glowing green ghost-cat thing appeared in the room and rubbed against my legs, making me feel… so… so… okay.

Then, as quickly as it appeared, it went away.

‘Fuck…’ Sav winced. ‘That ate a lot of my mana.’

‘Be happy you could cast it and maintain it long enough to be useful,’ I shook my head in disappointment.

‘Wait… you can do those too?’ Caei asked, jealously.

‘Not really. Let me show you.’

I led them to my lab in the Realm of Earth and then to its backyard, a patch of fucking cracked orange soil. Like, due to my fucking allergies I was never a huge fucking fan of fucking nature, but Jesus fuck the fucking Realm of fucking Earth was fucking depressing even by my standards.

Fuck, I fucking hate fucking deserts.

The worst fucking part was that there were parts of this fucking shithole with fucking vegetation, but no! My fucking lab had to be in the fucking Mojave! I mean, it really fucking made you fucking wish for a fucking nuclear…

Anyway

‘[Sea of Darkness: Drowning Tentacles]!’ I shouted, and a pool of liquid darkness began spreading on the ground, and soon four tentacles shot out of it.

And then it all dissipated into nothing.

‘I really don’t want to know why you went for a tentacles spell first,’ Savri shook her head.

‘I don’t know…’ Caei winked. ‘I think it has potential.’

Caeileera

Ereshkigal was waiting for us in Nyx’s palace, sitting on a couch in the salon. Aki was by her side, making silly faces and voices at something the goddess was holding, Ren standing next to her with a shit-eating grin.

The object made squeaky sounds in response.

‘You are back,’ the goddess smiled. ‘I wanted to introduce you to someone.’

Judging by how pale and small Lilyth got, it couldn't have been good.

‘This is Phoebe,’ she showcased the bundle.

Inside, there was a… white-furred Kitsune baby.

Ohhhhh….. fuck.

‘Your daughter,’ Ere added.