Take Me Away, Dark Lord!

Chapter 143: Sleepy Mashroom

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"B-Brazen!" Cassian choked out, his voice cracking spectacularly. "Shameless! I must go pray! I must cleanse my eyes of this... this visual corruption!"

But before Cassian could execute his hasty, deeply embarrassed retreat, the temperature in the patisserie plummeted.

The warm, sugary air crystallized. Frost began to rapidly creep across the surface of the wrought-iron table, snaking up the legs of Cassian’s silver boots.

Duke Kaelus von Nacht had not missed a single fraction of a second of the interaction.

The Archduke of the North slowly turned his head.

His glowing violet eyes locked onto the blushing twelve-year-old Paladin with an expression of such pure, homicidal fatherly rage that the surrounding bakers actually threw themselves onto the floor in terror.

Kaelus had seen the boy stare at his daughter. He had seen the blush, the way the boy’s eyes widened.

The infamous, bottomless vinegar jar inside the Reaper’s soul violently exploded.

’He is blushing,’ Kaelus’s mind roared, a possessive, catastrophic fury blinding his rational thought. ’A prepubescent, arrogant little zealot is standing in my presence, blushing at my six-year-old daughter. He is looking at her cheeks. Those are my daughter’s cheeks. He has no right to perceive them!’

Kaelus stood up. His massive frame cast a long, terrifying shadow that entirely swallowed the trembling Paladin.

Kaelus did not draw his sword, but the dark mana rolling off his body was dense enough to crush a boulder. He stepped forward, looming over Cassian.

"Boy," Kaelus whispered.

The single syllable was a death sentence. It was cold, vibrating with lethal intent, lacking any trace of mercy.

Cassian, despite his rigorous holy training, felt his knees buckle. The blush evaporated from his face, instantly replaced by the pallor of a corpse. He was staring directly into the eyes of the continent’s most terrifying killer.

"Y-Your Grace!" Cassian squeaked, terrified out of his mind.

Kaelus leaned down, bringing his flawless, freezing face mere inches from the boy’s.

"If you value your optical nerves," Kaelus murmured smoothly, his voice a silky, lethal caress, "you will avert your gaze, take your holy book, turn around, and march out of this pavilion. If I ever catch you staring at my daughter with that pathetic, flushed expression on your face again... I will freeze your eyeballs in their sockets and crush them into powder to sweeten her tea."

Kaelus tilted his head, his violet eyes glowing brighter. "Do we have a understanding, little Paladin?"

Cassian did not breathe, or even dare to blink. He nodded his head so frantically his silver hair whipped around his pale face.

"Y-Yes, Your Grace! Perfect understanding! I am blind! I saw nothing! Praise the Sun!"

Cassian didn’t walk away. He executed a panicked, stumbling pivot, completely abandoned his holy dignity, and literally sprinted out of the patisserie, his silver boots slipping wildly on the polished tile as he fled the wrath of the overprotective father.

Kaelus stood there for a moment, watching the boy flee, his dark aura bristling with unsatisfied, petty aggression. He huffed a cold breath, adjusting his cuffs, entirely justified in his own mind.

He turned back to the table, preparing to advise Seraphina to ignore the foolish Southern boy.

"Seraphina, you must not pay attention to—"

Kaelus stopped.

Seraphina was not looking at him.

She was still sitting in the chair. Her tiny hands were still gripping the edges of the pink-glazed pastry. Her cheeks were still comically stuffed with dough and cream.

But her dark eyes were closed. Her long eyelashes fluttered softly against her cheeks. Her head was tilted forward, her chin resting squarely against her own chest.

She was completely, totally fast asleep.

The grueling, intense ’training session’ in the Crucible, despite consisting solely of two tiny laps and posing, combined with the lethargic crash of processing a heavy influx of sugar and carbohydrates, had acted as a biological knockout spell. Her six-year-old body had simply reached its absolute operational limit and shut down mid-bite.

Kaelus stared at the sleeping child.

The terrifying, homicidal warlord who had just threatened to crush a pre-teen’s eyeballs into powder vanished instantly. The dark, freezing aura evaporated like mist in the sun, immediately replaced by a look of profound, helpless, utterly conquered fatherly panic.

"Seraphina," Kaelus whispered, rushing to her side, dropping to one knee.

She didn’t stir. A soft, tiny, rhythmic snore escaped her lips, accompanied by a small, adorable little bubble of pink frosting that popped as she exhaled.

Kaelus’s brain kicked into overdrive, instantly assessing the situation with the gravity of a battlefield emergency.

’She is unconscious. She is currently holding a pastry. Furthermore, her oral cavity is currently filled to capacity with un-swallowed caloric mass,’ Kaelus panicked internally. ’This is a level-five choking hazard. If she inhales the cream while in REM sleep, her airway could become compromised. I must initiate immediate extraction protocols.’

For any other parent, this would be a simple, mundane, slightly annoying toddler moment.

For Duke Kaelus von Nacht, it was a high-stakes military operation.

Kaelus reached up and, with meticulous precision, unclasped his heavy mythril gauntlets. He placed them on the table, unwilling to let the cold, hard metal touch her soft skin.

He leaned in close. Using his thumb and forefinger, moving with the slow care of a man defusing a live magical bomb, he gently gripped the remaining half of the pink pastry she was holding. He slowly, smoothly pulled it from her slack grip, setting it aside on the plate.

Phase one complete.

Phase two was infinitely more dangerous.

"Mushroom," Kaelus murmured softly, resting his large, warm palm against her cheek, gently tilting her head upward. "You cannot sleep yet. You must complete the mastication process."

Seraphina let out a sleepy, annoyed grumble. She didn’t open her eyes, but her jaw reflexively, lazily began to move. She chewed the massive wad of pastry in her mouth, her stuffed cheeks slowly deflating as she swallowed the sweet dough in her sleep.

Kaelus let out a shuddering breath of relief.

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