Chapter 49: New Mission: 03

The grand Hokage inauguration ceremony was in full swing, with villagers crowding every available inch of the village square. Banners waved, the air was filled with cheers, and the energy was almost contagious. Almost. That is, if you weren't a certain white haired, robotic ninja sulking near the back with a look of pure, mechanical disinterest.

In the center of all the commotion, the Old Man—the Third Hokage, that is—stood beside a rather unenthused Tsunade. He held the Hokage hat with reverence, practically beaming as he declared, "With honor and great pride, I pass this hat to Lady Tsunade, the Fifth Hokage!"

The crowd went wild, people were cheering, clapping, whistling, and generally acting like Tsunade had just saved the world. Everyone was grinning ear-to-ear… except for one person. One person who huffed so loud it could probably be heard over the entire village if anyone bothered to listen.

Naruto crossed her arms, watching the ceremony with an expression so deadpan that it almost made you wonder if she was alive. "Tsunade doesn't deserve this," she muttered to herself, voice dripping with robotic arrogance. "This is ridiculous. She has zero qualifications. Dattebayo."

Kiba, standing nearby, glanced at her with a smirk. "What's wrong, Naruto? Jealous much?"

Naruto's blank eyes turned to him, and she tilted her head slowly, like she was calculating whether he was even worth acknowledging. "Jealous? Impossible," she said in her typical monotone, not a hint of emotion. "I would make a far superior Hokage. Tsunade is… inefficient."

Kiba rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah. Keep telling yourself that, Robo-Naruto."

Naruto's gaze went back to the stage, and she let out a loud, robotic huff. "It's unfair. Tsunade has no idea what it takes to lead this village to greatness," she continued, mostly to herself. "I, however, am practically Hokage material already. I have… unparalleled skills. Dattebayo."

Hinata, who was standing on Naruto's other side, gave a small, shy smile. "Um… maybe you'll be Hokage one day too, Naruto…"

Naruto glanced at her, barely moving her head. "Perhaps," she replied in a stiff tone. "But it would be deserved, not handed over like some random participation trophy. Dattebayo."

Meanwhile, on the stage, Tsunade accepted the hat with a grumble, shooting a glare at the Old Man. "You just want an excuse to retire and go fishing, don't you?" she muttered.

The Sandaime chuckled, patting her on the back. "Come on now, 'Lady Tsunade'. You're going to do great!"

Tsunade rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah. If I hear one more person call me 'Lady' Tsunade, I'm gonna punch something."

From the back, Naruto muttered loudly, "Not my Old Man."

Sakura, who was standing nearby, shot her a glare. "Would you stop? Tsunade's actually strong, you know. Maybe you should try respecting her for once."

Naruto's robotic eyes shifted to Sakura, staring her down with zero emotion. "Respect is earned, not given freely. Besides, if they really wanted someone strong, they would have chosen me. I am… the obvious choice. Dattebayo."

Sakura groaned, facepalming. "Sometimes I wonder if you're even from this planet, Naruto."

That evening, Naruto had just settled into her usual evening routine of glaring at nothing in particular when a messenger arrived at her door, looking nervous as he delivered a formal summons. "The Fifth Hokage wants to see you," he stammered, already sweating under her blank stare.

Naruto raised an eyebrow, looking at the slip of paper with disinterest. "This… better be worth my time," she muttered. "I am not a fan of… time-wasting."

As she made her way to the Hokage's office, her walk was as stiff and mechanical as ever. She pushed open the door to find a familiar group already assembled: Kakashi-sensei, looking as laid-back as ever; Bushy Brows, a.k.a. Lee, practically vibrating with excitement; and Sakura, who was glancing around with an eager smile. Then, at the head of the table, sat Tsunade, already looking mildly annoyed.

Naruto strode in with all the grace of a malfunctioning robot, stopping dead in the center of the room. "This… better be worth it," she declared in a flat tone. "I do not have time to waste. Dattebayo."

Kakashi raised an eyebrow, glancing at her with his typical lazy eye-smile. "Good to see you too, Naruto."

Lee struck a pose, eyes blazing with enthusiasm. "Naruto! The flames of youth burn brightly in you today!"

Naruto's face remained as expressionless as ever. "Please refrain from… poetic statements. They are… inefficient. Dattebayo."

Tsunade rolled her eyes, waving a hand dismissively. "Alright, enough with the dramatics," she said, clearly already regretting her new title. "You all have a mission. This one is… a bit unusual."

Naruto blinked, her robotic eyes zeroing in on Tsunade. "A mission?" She tilted her head, processing this. "Interesting. As long as it does not waste my valuable time."

Tsunade sighed, looking at her like one might look at an overly complicated machine. "Right. Anyway, the mission is to guard Yukie Fujikaze, the famous actress, while she's filming her new movie."

Naruto blinked slowly, her eyes widening just a fraction as she processed this information. "A… famous actress?" She tilted her head, her expression becoming almost… intrigued. "I see. The actress will likely be… impressed by my unparalleled abilities."

Kakashi gave her a gentle nudge. "Focus, Naruto."

Tsunade continued, her patience wearing thin. "You'll be protecting her from Doto Kazahana and his gang of goons who have… less than honorable intentions."

Naruto's eyes narrowed slightly, her mechanical brain already picturing the dramatic fight scenes and triumphant victory over these "goons." "Understood," she said, a faint hint of pride slipping into her monotone. "The actress will be… astonished by my excellence. She may even request me as the main star. Dattebayo."

Sakura snorted. "Yeah, keep dreaming, Naruto."

Naruto turned to Sakura, her gaze piercing in its intensity. "Dreams are for the inefficient. This is… inevitable."

Kakashi chuckled, patting her on the shoulder. "Well, you certainly don't lack confidence."

Lee clenched his fists, eyes blazing with passion. "To protect an actress with all the fiery spirit of youth! I am honored!"

Naruto barely reacted, instead turning her attention back to Tsunade. "I assume… I am team leader."

Tsunade raised an eyebrow, barely holding back a smirk. "Actually, Kakashi is the team leader. You, Naruto, are… second in command."

Naruto blinked, looking mildly insulted. "Second? This is… an insult to my capabilities. Kakshi is unworhy."

Kakashi held up his hands, giving her a calming smile. "Don't worry, Naruto. You'll get your chance to shine."

Naruto gave a mechanical nod, but she was clearly still disgruntled. "Very well. The actress will undoubtedly recognize my… superior qualities. She will see that I am not second but… primary. Dattebayo."

Sakura rolled her eyes, looking at her with a smirk. "Oh, I'm sure she'll be very impressed by your… robot skills."

Ignoring her, Naruto's mind was already racing with grand images of her standing heroically next to the actress, Yukie Fujikaze, while she gazed at Naruto with admiration and awe. "She will probably insist on casting me as the main actress in her movie. I am… magnificent, after all. Dattebayo."

Kakashi gave her an amused sigh. "Yes, I'm sure she'll see your… unique qualities."

Naruto's eyes glazed over in robotic fascination, and she stood there, slightly drooling as she imagined her inevitable rise to stardom. The others exchanged glances, Sakura holding back a snicker, while Kakashi looked resigned, and Lee practically beamed with excitement.

"Well then," Kakashi said, breaking her trance. "Let's get this show on the road. We're taking the mission."

Naruto blinked back into focus, nodding stiffly. "Excellent. This movie shall reach… new heights with my presence. Dattebayo."

Sakura shook her head, muttering to herself. "This is going to be a long mission…"

As they all exited the office, Naruto strode ahead with a proud, robotic gait, clearly envisioning herself as the future star of the big screen.

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