Chapter 434: Imperfect Beauty

Frankly, I was in no position to judge a person's faith.

If Lu Wenchang worshiped the Two-Faced Buddha, the Two-Faced Buddha must have helped him in some way—either by saving him from physical suffering or bringing comfort to his soul.

Instead of rashly dismissing his faith, I followed his train of thought and asked, "From what you're saying, are your wife and son's disabilities karmic retribution from a past life? Were they simply fated to suffer this misfortune?"

"The hardships of this life are accumulated from the evils of the last. The only way to find deliverance is to take refuge in my Buddha and cleanse our karmic obstacles." The man's eyes were calm, and his wife, Chang Feifei, looked every bit as devout. Only young Lu Ming, too little to understand what his father was saying, hung his head in troubled confusion.

"Believing in the Buddha can cleanse your karmic obstacles?" I looked at the couple, seeing in them a microcosm of the entire Shuangfo District. Back when I slipped into Li Changgui Manor at night, I had found a Double-Faced Buddha Statue enshrined in the home of Xinhu's richest man, too. It was safe to assume that worshiping the Two-Faced Buddha was widespread throughout Shuangfo District.

"The Dharma's wonders are boundless. It doesn't merely cleanse sin; it elevates both body and mind. It cultivates merit and wisdom alike—acting for the good of all living beings ultimately benefits yourself. Through selflessness, you fulfill your greatest self-interest." The man made some sense, yet knowing the true origins of the Two-Faced Buddha, I knew the deity they worshiped was far from perfect.

This Buddha bore two faces—one kindly and compassionate, the other fierce and malevolent. This Buddha was not a true Buddha.

I gave the man a mild smile. "Speaking purely of cleansing sins, what terrible mistake could your wife and son possibly have made to bring such misfortune upon themselves?"

The man didn't answer right away. After a pause, he said, "Leaving my family aside, take me as an example. I was an unruly child. I used to wade into the water to catch fish, only to toss them onto the bank and leave them to bake to death in the sun. I'd go up the mountain to catch bamboo rats, snip off their tails, and throw them to the house cat, standing by and clapping with glee as they were toyed to death. Looking back now, all of that was evil. Even in everyday life, I've unwittingly committed countless other wrongs. Those dark thoughts used to torment me endlessly, but ever since I placed my faith in my Buddha, everything has changed for the better. That suffocating weight is gone, my soul has been purified, and I now keep a heart devoted to goodness."

"That sounds laughable to me. The Buddha you worship must have taught that all living beings are equal. In a sense, you and the bamboo rats and crucian carp you tortured are fellow living creatures. Yet you tortured them to death in the cruelest ways imaginable. They lost their lives, while all you have to do is casually chant a few lines of Amitabha and your karmic obstacles are wiped clean? Is that fair? Is that what the Buddha calls the equality of all living beings?" I gave a faint smile. "At the end of the day, the only reason you can worship the Buddha and look for spiritual solace is that you're stronger than bamboo rats and crucian carp. You didn't kill the people who bullied you because human society has a well-established system of laws, and you didn't go around killing tigers or sharks because you're too weak to slay them. Natural selection—it's such a simple truth, yet you insist on dressing it up in Buddhist doctrine to give yourself a high-sounding excuse. Does that make you any less the killer of those bamboo rats and crucian carp?"

Anger flashed across the man's face, but I didn't give him a chance to speak. "You say your wife and son's impairments are due to evil accumulated in a past life, but can you be sure past lives even exist? That's nothing more than an unprovable illusion fabricated for you by the Buddha you worship—deliberately preached to cater to a need inside your own heart. I don't deny that true Buddhas exist in this world, but the one you believe in is a false Buddha."

At that, Lu Wenchang clenched his fists and shot up from his seat, pointing a finger at me. If Chang Feifei hadn't desperately held him back, he probably would have thrown a punch at me already. "You have never believed in my Buddha—how dare you slander him!"

"I've never seen the Buddha you worship, but I know that any faith preying on disabled people's need for comfort is despicable! He seems to give you an excuse to numb yourselves to your impairments, but in truth, he's only using you as tools. The Buddha you worship isn't noble at all, and he won't truly help you—you alone are the master of your inner life. Everyone's life rests firmly in their own hands. A physical disability isn't what's frightening; what's frightening is the betrayal and compromise of your own soul." I pleaded earnestly with them, trying to snap them out of it, because I knew full well that the proportion of disabled residents in Shuangfo District was ten or twenty times higher than in other districts. That was deeply abnormal, and their condition was very likely no accident, but part of the Double-Faced Buddha Plan.

"Ignorant fool, spouting nonsense! If you slander my Buddha again, don't blame me for getting rough." With one hand clutched by Chang Feifei, Lu Wenchang's pale face twisted with rage.

"Didn't your Buddha teach you to be kind to others and refrain from violence? Sit down. We're only having a discussion, and I wasn't completely dismissing your point." Afraid Lu Wenchang's outburst might draw the train attendant, I coaxed him gently, only breathing a sigh of relief once he sat back down.

"I won't bother arguing with you. The Buddha dwells in my heart, and no amount of slander from you will shake my devotion." Lu Wenchang's tone was resolute, yet to me, he was a deeply pitiful figure. If my guess was right, the true culprit behind his wife's and son's disabilities was very likely the Two-Faced Buddha himself—the deity he worshiped so devoutly was the very perpetrator of their tragedy.

Sensing that the man and I were still on the verge of arguing, Chang Feifei hurriedly tugged at her husband and began gesturing to me in sign language.

I didn't know sign language and watched in utter confusion, whereas the eyes of father and son—Lu Wenchang and Lu Ming—softened with warmth as they looked at her.

"What do those signs mean?"

Seeing my blank look, Lu Wenchang had no intention of speaking to me. With a cold snort, he gently put an arm around Chang Feifei and began signing back to her.

"Holding a grudge already?" I had clearly underestimated the hold faith could have over a person. Since Lu Wenchang refused to talk to me, I turned toward his child and patted Lu Ming on the shoulder. "Little guy, what did your mom just say?"

The little boy shrank back slightly, casting a timid glance at his father before answering in a small voice, "Mom was apologizing to you on Dad's behalf. She hopes the two of you won't fall out over this."

He lifted his round little face. "My dad is actually really nice. He's never once lost his temper over these little flaws Mom and I have, and he's always taken such good care of us..."

From the child, I learned the whole story of their family.

Chang Feifei had lost her ability to speak due to acquired nerve compression. As for Lu Ming's amputated right arm, it happened when he was five: while playing with friends on the flat roof of a single-story house, he accidentally fell, and a length of rebar pierced right through his right forearm. It left a severe tearing wound, and because a delay in raising the medical fees caused him to miss the optimal window for treatment, doctors were ultimately forced to amputate.

What happened to Lu Ming had remained an aching wound deep in his father's heart ever since. It was that very accident that drove Lu Wenchang to worship the Two-Faced Buddha, seeking forgiveness from an illusory Buddha so the guilt deep inside him might finally fade.

As Lu Ming spoke, the life of this family of three unfolded before me. Only they themselves truly knew all its joys and hardships, yet several details in his story deeply moved me.

For instance, after Lu Ming lost his right arm and had to practice writing and eating with his left hand, both Lu Wenchang and Chang Feifei began training themselves to use their left hands from then on, just to keep him company and spare their young child's feelings. At every meal, all three of them held their chopsticks in their left hands to pick up food.

There were many everyday details like that—little touches of warmth woven together to make up the fabric of their lives.

They were an optimistic, resilient family, and I had no wish to hurt them any further. Yet my conscience told me they never should have ended up like this—they deserved to enjoy a far better life, not sit here with me on this train bound for the Underworld.

I let out a sigh, cleared my mind of distractions, and put myself into the calmest state possible to analyze their family's situation from start to finish.

Lu Wenchang and Chang Feifei were devout followers of the Two-Faced Buddha, and the turning point that drew them into worshiping the Two-Faced Buddha had been Lu Ming. Had that accident never happened to Lu Ming, their family's lives would undoubtedly be much better than they were now.

'A five-year-old child playing with friends on a flat roof accidentally falls off, and a piece of rebar just happens to pierce right through his right arm—no matter how I turn it over in my head, this whole thing reeks of a conspiracy.'