Chapter 417: Nothing Beats A Greasy Burger And Some Fries!

The alleyway Luca entered from the portal was damp and smelled faintly of garbage, which was not how he preferred to make his entrances.

Quickly he stepped out of the alley and into the blinding sunlight of a metropolitan afternoon.

Cars honked.

Music blared from a shop across the street.

A pedestrian nearly walked into him while staring at their phone.

The air smelled of exhaust fumes and hot asphalt and, somewhere nearby, something delicious being deep-fried.

He was back!

After days in a world of centaurs and elves and magic, he was standing in the middle of a metropolitan city that never slept, and the whiplash was almost dizzying.

’My life has taken a very strange turn.’ He thought. ’One minute I’m examining centaur legs in a medieval council hall. The next I’m standing behind a dumpster next to a fast food restaurant.’

As bizzare as it was, he was happy about that.

But right now, he had priorities. And the first priority was not the solution for the centaurs.

No—the first priority was the smell that was currently wafting out of a Flame Burger restaurant across the street.

"Leona’s cooking is amazing." Luca muttered to himself, already crossing the street. "Fresh ingredients. Magically enhanced produce. Literally grows on trees."

"But sometimes you just need something filled with preservatives and enough sodium to kill a small horse!"

The bell above the door chimed as he stepped inside and immedietly the smell hit him full force—sizzling beef patties, hot oil, melted cheese, the sharp tang of ketchup and the sweet note of milkshakes.

It was glorious. It was obscene. It was exactly what he needed!

He was also, he realized, being stared at.

Not because of his face, though he was, objectively, quite handsome.

But because of his clothes.

The white shirt with leather straps crisscrossing his chest. The black pants with strange chains hanging from the belt. The boots that looked like they’d walked through a medieval battlefield.

He looked, the other customers had clearly decided, like he was cosplaying some kind of fantasy adventurer.

And he was doing it with such casual confidence that it had to be either incredibly cool or incredibly weird.

A teenage girl at a corner booth took a photo.

A group of college students whispered to each other.

A woman in business attire openly stared, then seemed to catch herself and looked away, her cheeks flushing.

Luca ignored all of it and approached the counter.

"Welcome to Flame Burger!"

The cashier, a young woman with a name tag that read ’Maya’ greeted him with the enthusiasm of someone who was running on caffeine and sheer willpower.

"How can I help you today?"

Luca scanned the menu. His eyes moved with the efficiency of a man who knew exactly what he wanted and was simply confirming that they still had it.

"I’ll take a Flame Deluxe with cheese. A Bacon Smokehouse. A Crispy Chicken Sandwich. Two large orders of seasoned fries. An order of onion rings. A chocolate milkshake. A strawberry shake. And a large lemon soda!"

Maya’s fingers flew across the register. She had clearly dealt with large orders before.

"Anything else?"

"That’s all."

"That’ll be forty-two sixty-three. Would you like to pay with cash or credit?"

Luca reached into his pouch and pulled out the money he needed. But then froze.

He looked down.

He was holding a silver coin, stamped with the royal seal of the human kingdom.

Maya was staring at it with an expression of confusion.

"Uh." Luca said. He slowly put the coin back. "Sorry. Wrong pocket. Jet lag. Long flight."

He fumbled for his wallet, pulled out his credit card, and handed it over with what he hoped was a casual smile.

"Credit, please."

Maya, to her credit, processed the payment without further comment. Her expression suggested she had seen weirder things in food service and had long since stopped asking questions.

Luca tipped generously with discretion and took his tray to a corner table.

The food, as promised, was ready in minutes. Fast food efficiency was one of the few things he genuinely missed about this world.

He sat down and unwrapped the Flame Deluxe, before taking a moment to simply admire the glistening patty, the melted cheese oozing over the edges, the crisp lettuce and the perfectly toasted bun

Then he took a bite.

"Mmmm!" He breathed, his eyes fluttering closed. "Oh, that hits the spot? I feel sorry for everyone back in Lunacris. They’ve never tasted a proper burger. They don’t know what they’re missing!"

And then an idea struck him.

"They should know about this!"

He opened a small portal beneath the table where no one could see. Just a tiny rift in reality, no larger than a dinner plate. He stuck his head through.

—

On the other side, Luca emerged in the elf village—specifically, in his own home.

The treehouse was warm with afternoon light, and the scene before him was so achingly domestic that his heart squeezed.

Leona, was sitting cross-legged on the sofa, her pregnant belly rounding out her dress, teaching Luna and Lulu how to knit baby clothes.

"You want the stitch to be firm but not too tight." Leona was saying, her voice patient. "The baby’s skin is very sensitive. If the yarn is too rough or the stitches too tight, it’ll irritate them."

Luna nodded seriously, her needles clicking with careful precision.

"Like this, Mother? Am I doing it right?"

"Perfectly, my dear. You’re a natural."

Lulu, on the other hand, was making an absolute mess of it.

Yarn was tangled around her fingers. Her needles were pointing in the wrong direction. The garment she was attempting to create looked less like baby clothes and more like a small net.

"This is impossible!" She complained. "Why can’t we just buy clothes for the babies Arachnid race instead?"

Leona looked at her with patient amusement.

"Of course we could buy them, Lulu. But wouldn’t it be much more meaningful if the baby’s own mother made them herself? The clothes would be filled with love in every stitch."

Lulu’s eyes shimmered. "Filled with love...in every stitch..."

She immediately returned to her task with renewed determination, her earlier frustration forgotten. "I’ll make the best baby clothes ever! My baby will be the most fashionable in the entire village!"

Nyx, meanwhile, had taken a completely different approach to her own knitting.

While Leona and the others worked with light colors, soft greens and pastels, traditional for elves.Nyx had chosen dark purple and black, with dramatic frills and gothic styling.

"It’s going to look like a tiny dark lord." Lulu observed.

"Thank you." Nyx said, genuinely pleased. "That’s exactly what I was going for."

Just as Nyx was about to go back to knitting, she noticed Luca’s head poking through the portal.

A slow smile spread across her face.

"Well, well. The Hero returns. Don’t tell me you came running back in tears already."

Luna looked up, her expression immediately shifting to concern.

"Luca? Are you alright? If you need a hug, I’m right here!"

But Luca shook his head, still munching on his burger. "Mm-mm. No.Things are actually going really well with the centaurs."

Leona’s eyebrows rose. "Really?"

"Really. In fact, I’m doing something as a favor for them right now. Once it’s done, my reputation will only increase. They’ll accept me completely." He paused, swallowed, and grinned. "I’m basically seducing an entire village. Slowly but surely."

His family exchanged glances. Luna looked relieved. Lulu looked proud. Leona smiled with quiet satisfaction. Nyx just nodded approvingly, as if she had expected nothing less from her man.

"Anyway." Luca continued. "I’m not here for all that. I’m in a fast food restaurant right now. Do you guys want anything? Burgers? Fries? Hash browns? Muffins? Milkshakes?"

Leona tilted her head. "What exactly are...those?"

But Lulu had already shot to her feet—as much as her pregnant belly would allow and was bouncing excitedly.

"Don’t ask questions, Mother! Just say yes! Whatever Luca brings from his world is absolutely amazing! Remember the chocolate? Remember the ice cream?"

"Remember those little crackers that tasted like cheese even though there was no cheese on them?"

"That was very confusing." Luna admitted. "But also very delicious."

Lulu pointed at Luca with the authority of a pregnant woman who knew what she wanted.

"Bring dozens of everything! Every single item! I’m not just hungry—" She patted her belly. "—the little one in here is hungry too! This is your duty as my husband! To make sure your wife and her child are properly fed!"

Luca grinned. "Got it, my wife!"

And it wasn’t just his immediate family he was asking.

Through the network of multiple versions of himself spread throughout the village he reached out to every single elf.

Burgers? Fries? Shakes? What do you want?

The responses flooded back in a chorus of excitement and confusion and very specific requests.

"Burgers!...Whatever they may be." Selma said without hesitation

"I want something sweet! Preferably berry flavoured!" Ivy added along.

"A beverage please. I just ate and my belly is stuffed." Alia smiled at her swollen belly.

"Daddy I want chicken! A whole lot of chicken!" Lisa bounced around Esme.

"Alright." He said, pulling his head back through the portal. "I’ll be back with enough food to feed an army. Which is basically what we are at this point."

He finished his own meal with leisurely satisfaction, savoring every bite of his burger and every last fry.

Then he rose from his table, straightened his adventurer’s outfit with as much dignity as he could muster, and walked back to the counter.

Maya looked up. "How can I help you, sir? Did you want something else?"

Luca pointed at the menu board above her head.

"You see that menu over there?"

She followed his finger. "I...yes? I see it?"

"I want you to make the entire thing. Twenty times over."

The restaurant went completely silent.

Customers stopped mid-bite, their burgers hovering inches from their mouths. The kitchen staff froze, spatulas suspended in the air.

Every eye in the establishment turned toward Luca with expressions of pure shock.

Maya’s smile had become fixed. Her left eye twitched slightly.

"I’m sorry, sir, I think I misheard you. Could you repeat that?"

"You didn’t mishear me. I want the entire menu." Luca gestured at the board. "Every burger. Every sandwich. Every side. Every drink. Made twenty times over. Do you have enough stock for that?"

Maya’s mouth opened. Closed. Opened again. She was clearly running mental calculations—inventory numbers, cooking times, the sheer logistics of the request—and the results were not promising.

"I...technically, yes, we do have the stock, but—"

Before she could say anything else, Luca reached into his jacket and pulled out a stack of cash.

A thick stack. The kind of stack that made people reconsider their life choices.

He slid it across the counter.

"A tip for you and the staff. I hope you don’t mind the request."

The kitchen staff had migrated to the front, drawn by the gravitational pull of the money and stared at the stack of bills like pilgrims gazing at a holy relic.

Even split between all of them, that was two weeks’ wages. Maybe more!

"Sir." One of the cooks said, his voice reverent. "Your order will be done before you know it. You are now our highest priority!"

"We’ll shut down the store if we have to!" Another added.

"We’ll cook everything fresh. Perfect. The best burgers you’ve ever tasted!"

"We’ll put our hearts and souls into fries!"

"Every shake will be thick enough to stand a spoon in!"

"We’ll name our firstborn children after you!"

"Maybe not that last one." Maya muttered, but she was already grabbing the cash and tucking it safely away. .

"Come back in an hour, sir. We’ll have everything ready!"

Luca nodded and walked out of the restaurant.

Behind him, he could hear the sudden explosion of activity—the manager shouting orders, the fry cook already dropping baskets into oil, basically pandemonium going on in the kitchen

As he passed the window, one of the customers leaned over to another.

"What kind of costume party is that guy throwing?"

"I don’t know, but I want an invitation."

Neither of them knew that the food wasn’t for a party at all.

It was for dozens of hungry, pregnant elves whose appetites had grown exponentially.

And as their husband, it was Luca’s sacred duty to make sure they were properly fed!