Chapter 45 45: Morning Repose

Those who love are always worthy of being loved!

The moment Rem had confessed, Natsuki Subaru had already made up his mind — and so he had been the one to lean in first.

If the world were a wheel turning in endless circles —

Last time, he had loved Emilia.

So this time, Emilia had come to love him with everything she had.

Last time, Rem had chosen him without hesitation.

So this time, it was his turn — to choose Rem without hesitation, to love her with a true and honest heart!

And yet, even having made that decision, he found he couldn't bring himself to abandon his feelings for Emilia.

Her image surfaced in his mind unbidden.

Those violet-blue eyes of hers — pure and flawless, carrying a guileless curiosity and gentle kindness toward the world.

She had been the first light he found in this world of despair. She was the origin point that had pulled him back through death, again and again.

That feeling — the desire to protect her, to see her smile — it was just as real. It was an inseparable part of what made him Natsuki Subaru.

"Emilia-tan…"

Subaru's brow suddenly creased with a pained expression.

This situation was giving him a serious headache.

Setting aside the strange changes he'd noticed in Emilia for now —

The real problem was these two girls, both of whom mattered to him beyond measure.

Because of him standing right in the middle between them —

— their relationship had already curdled into something explosive, poisoned by envy and possessiveness.

Rem couldn't quite shake off the identity of being his wife. She had an instinctive resistance to him getting close to Emilia — like a creature breathing hot and guarding a treasure she had fought too hard to win.

And Emilia was also…

Anyway. He couldn't keep running from this.

If he kept doing nothing, all three of them were going to end up miserable.

Something had to change. He had to do something!

"Decided!"

Natsuki Subaru shot upright from the bed, spine straight, eyes blazing with the resolve of a man burning his boats behind him.

Well, going by his own memories, the version of him from before hadn't exactly been much better than a scumbag anyway.

So this time — why not just go all the way and be an actual scumbag?!

If he couldn't let go of either of them. If he wanted to protect both of them.

Then… he'd have both!

The thought crystallized in his mind, sharp and clear.

He couldn't betray Rem's love — a love that had crossed time and space itself to reach him.

He couldn't abandon his vow to protect Emilia's future.

He had to find a path forward!

A path where both of them could be happy — even if that path looked like nothing but thorns stretching to the horizon.

And yet.

The grand declaration had barely finished echoing in his chest —

— when a cold chill, utterly without warning, shot straight up his spine.

He couldn't help it — the image of stringing along two women immediately conjured up a series of deeply unfavorable, strangely familiar mental pictures —

Rem, face perfectly blank, swinging her flail straight at his skull.

Or Emilia, pushed past her limit, unleashing some terrifying dark power.

Or himself, caught in some kind of horrible fate involving being split in two…

"Uwah!"

He shuddered on instinct, both hands flying up to clutch his own head.

"Wait wait wait wait — is this gonna end in a cleaver-to-the-face scenario?!"

The vision of a warm, cozy threesome had just turned, in an instant, into an absolute bloodbath.

His mind was made up — but looking ahead, Natsuki Subaru felt a level of dread he had never quite experienced before.

When you love someone, your eyes give you away.

But if he was going to love two people — he was absolutely going to have to hide it!

"Alright, thinking time's over!"

Subaru wiped his face with one hand and sprang off the bed in a single motion, energy fully restored.

He moved quickly — down the stairs, through the wide corridor, and out through the door that opened into the courtyard.

The world opened up before him.

It was less of a courtyard and more of a small open field. The view stretched wide, the eye drinking in lush, vivid green lawn that caught the morning light and gleamed with a soft, gentle sheen.

Natsuki Subaru didn't slow his stride.

He walked and swept his gaze back and forth across the distance — and quickly found exactly who he was looking for.

Emilia was right where he'd expected.

Subaru raised one hand flat beside his forehead like a visor and peered out toward her.

There she was — sitting quietly beneath the elegant little shade pavilion in the center of the lawn, eyes gently closed, her expression one of focused calm.

The morning breeze stirred her long silver hair.

Tiny spirit-lights drifted and flickered around her like fireflies, weightless and luminous.

It looked like a silent and sacred communion between them —

Not hard to guess: this was her daily ritual of communing with the minor spirits.

Natsuki Subaru stopped a short distance from the pavilion and simply watched, not making a sound, unwilling to disturb the stillness.

Since Emilia was occupied, he'd just take a little rest for now —

Come to think of it, it was still only just past morning.

Why did he feel like he'd already lived through an entire lifetime today? (lol)

He watched for a little while. Emilia's pure, serene profile and the soft lights drifting around her gradually eased the tangled mess of his thoughts.

No matter what was going on — being near Emilia always made it easy to relax. That was just how it was.

He acknowledged the feeling quietly.

Then he turned and slipped over to a soft patch of grass nearby, dropping down to lie flat on his back without ceremony.

He laced both hands behind his head and let his gaze float upward into the vast open sky.

The blue was deep and clear and immaculate, a few lazy clouds drifting slowly across it.

He let his mind go blank, trying to begin untangling the hopeless knot that was the three of them —

— when a small, fluffy shape bobbed into view directly above him, blocking out a portion of the sunlight.

"Yo, Subaru!"

A familiar voice rang out, carrying that characteristic note of lazy ease.

It was Puck — in his small grey cat form — floating upside-down in the air, peering down at Subaru with round, curious eyes, his long tail swaying at a leisurely pace.

"Lying in the grass spacing out first thing in the morning — you really are living the life, aren't you."

"What, did my daughter's lovely figure captivate you so completely?"

Puck's mouth curved into a mischievous grin.

His little paw gave a deliberate prod right to the center of Subaru's forehead.

"Sorry for being so leisurely, I know."

"And yes — I absolutely am captivated by Emilia, no question about it."

Subaru squinted up at him, and while Puck was busy poking his forehead, he made his move.

He snatched the little cat right out of the air and dropped him into his palm, proceeding to knead and scritch to his heart's content, fingers combing through that impossibly smooth fur.

"Hissss — this texture — this is something else entirely!"

Subaru purred in satisfaction as he scritched, feeling his own soul practically float right out of his body.

He'd done this back at the manor in his memories too — but that had been a privilege he'd had to earn after saving Emilia, the right to pet Puck whenever he pleased.

Right now, though —

"Hahaha, that tickles, Subaru — though I have to say, surprisingly not unpleasant."

Puck sprawled contentedly in Subaru's palm, offering not the slightest resistance to the treatment.

One might even say he was endorsing Subaru's technique.

"Puck — grant me the right to pet you anytime and anywhere I please. This is the one request of my life!"

Subaru suddenly pressed his palms together in solemn petition.

"Hm? Sure, if it's you, Subaru."

Puck rubbed his cheek with one little paw, utterly unbothered.

"Oh? Just like that? Any particular reason, Puck?"

Subaru raised an eyebrow, pleasantly surprised at how easy that had been.

"Ah, well — I am a Great Spirit who can see into people's hearts, after all."

"You don't have any ill intent, Subaru. And you're someone Lia cares about."

"So — it's fine."

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