Chapter 330 - 328: Forgiven, But No Longer in Love

Chapter 330: Chapter 328: Forgiven, But No Longer in Love

A wave of listlessness washed over her.

Watching Tang Juanmei slurping her congee down below, Gu Nuan Nuan suddenly felt it. For the first time, she found herself truly reflecting. ’Was my perspective in my last life too narrow? Was I really caught up my entire life in entanglements with an uncultured country woman like her? All just to fight for the same man’s attention... Isn’t that just ridiculous?’

She lowered her head, lost in thought, not even noticing when the three people below had left.

Gu Nuan Nuan never imagined she would stay so long in this "dream." Decades drifted by in a haze, and she remained trapped inside the villa where she had lived in her past life. She watched her daughter, Shengnan, grow from a small child, experiencing all the love and pain of youth. She saw her grow up day by day under the devoted care of her father and maternal grandmother, until she finally, reluctantly, left home to find her own happiness.

She watched her mother, Zhang Minzhen, grow old year after year, never once neglected, finally closing her eyes in peace after seeing Shengnan happily married and holding her own firstborn son.

And most of all, she watched Luo Hongyi. She saw him refuse his parents’ relentless attempts to force him into another marriage, time and again. She watched as he deliberately let his relationships with his parents and siblings fade, repeatedly turning down all kinds of requests from his hometown. In the end, after his parents passed away, he even changed his phone number, severing all ties with his brothers and sisters for good.

Year after year, Gu Nuan Nuan watched. She saw how, whenever he had a spare moment, his favorite thing to do was sit alone in the study she had loved so much, poring over her photo albums. He would sit there quietly for an entire day. This continued until the very end, when he was so old he could barely walk. Even at the moment of his death, he was still murmuring that he was sorry, hoping he could earn her forgiveness and meet her again in the afterlife.

...

Lying quietly in bed, Gu Nuan Nuan stared blankly. Before she knew it, tears were streaming down her face.

The ability to cry, the feeling of dampness on her cheeks—it meant she was back in reality. But for a moment, she couldn’t escape the dream. The final scene, of Luo Hongyi insisting on leaving the hospital to return to that study, clutching her photo album even as he passed away... the sorrow from that image simply wouldn’t fade.

The decades in the dream had felt so real. Her feelings toward Luo Hongyi had shifted from hatred to confusion, and then, slowly, to self-reflection. The process was endlessly long and excruciatingly painful. In the end, she had to admit that the tragedy of their lives couldn’t be blamed on Luo Hongyi alone. Gradually, her hatred for him faded. In that final moment, she chose to forgive him... and to forgive herself.

"Master, are you all right?" Cao Cao asked, watching her with concern.

"I’m fine." Gu Nuan Nuan took a deep breath, wiping her tears with a handkerchief as she sat up. "How long was I gone this time?"

"Less than a single night," Cao Cao answered.

"Less than a single night? But I feel like I was really in there for decades." Gu Nuan Nuan gave a bitter smile. "So it really was all just a fleeting dream."

"Master, those weren’t dreams," Cao Cao quickly corrected her. "Those are your sealed memories. Everything you saw really happened."

"Yes, I know. If all of that was real, then I think I understand why I was able to forgive him. Before, I wondered if I’d forgiven him too easily, just because he refused to remarry. But after watching everything unfold as if I were there, I finally understand. To be cherished by someone like that, so consistently for decades... it’s not easy at all. If it were me, I don’t know if I could have endured it. I think even the most stone-hearted person in the world would eventually be moved by that kind of devotion, don’t you?"

Gu Nuan Nuan sighed. The mere mention of Luo Hongyi now stirred up a storm of complicated emotions. She stared into the empty space before her and whispered, "But even though I’ve forgiven him, I’m not sure anymore. I don’t know if I still have any love for him in this life."

Cao Cao was silent for a moment. "...But why? Master, you just said you forgave him."

"Forgiveness and no longer being in love aren’t mutually exclusive."

Gu Nuan Nuan lowered her head, her expression pained. "Some feelings, once they’re over, they’re just... over. Maybe the hurt was too deep before. Later, when I reflected, I realized I wasn’t perfect either—that I was also at fault and bore some responsibility. But what’s done is done. The damage was already inflicted. Even after everything... I think I forgave him because I couldn’t bear to carry such a heavy burden of hatred anymore. So I chose to let it go. But I think, along with the hate, I also let go of that pure, simple love I once had for him... that feeling of my heart soaring with joy, just at the thought of him..."

’They say character is destiny.’ In the end, she had to admit she had her share of flaws. It was no wonder, then, that she had met such a fate.

Gu Nuan Nuan buried her head in her knees. ’Even though the dream is over, I can still clearly remember those decades of constant self-reflection. Each time was like tearing open a scabbed wound, forcing myself to feel that raw, bloody agony all over again. It was too painful. In this life, I’m scared. I don’t want to love him again. It turns out I really am that selfish, huh?’

She spoke, her voice muffled. "Watching him atone for his mistakes with so much self-recrimination, I can’t possibly lack the courage to admit my own, can I? But loving someone is just too painful. You can’t help but love everything connected to them. And you tell me, which one of his parents or siblings is worthy of that kind of affection from me? It would be so much simpler to just not love him at all."

Cao Cao was speechless.

’Why do Master’s words sound so strange?’ It tilted its head, thinking for a long moment before asking hesitantly, "Master, isn’t this a case of valuing the box over the jewels? Since you have another chance, shouldn’t you cherish each other and love each other even more? Wouldn’t it be wonderful for the two of you to spend this life making up for all the regrets of the past together?"

"We got back together precisely to make up for those regrets. But..." Gu Nuan Nuan sighed. "You wouldn’t understand even if I explained it. There’s no rhyme or reason to matters of the heart. Love is love, and when it’s gone, it’s gone. Now, when I think of him... I feel nothing." She shook her head. "But not loving him isn’t so bad. At least being with him doesn’t feel so awkward anymore. That’s a kind of progress, isn’t it?"

Cao Cao was speechless.