Chapter 190: Life Coach

"He won? Just like that?"

"How were there two Yuanshi Tianzuns? What kind of play was that? I didn't understand any of it. Someone explain."

"You couldn't follow that? Yuanshi Tianzun was using a clone from the start. His real body stayed hidden nearby, waiting for the chance to strike. That was truly devious. I kept wondering how he'd deal with Crossing Pawn's detection abilities, and creating a clone was the last thing I expected."

"A bit gimmicky, sure, but Crossing Pawn also borrowed items specifically to counter Yuanshi Tianzun. Everyone played by the rules. A loss is a loss, there's nothing to complain about."

"Under a minute... Brief, but spectacular. Yuanshi Tianzun fought the same way he did in the last round. He loves setting traps and scheming. He's not the type who enjoys a dragged-out brawl."

"Crossing Pawn wasn't bad either. His strategy was sound. Close the gap and end it fast. He couldn't afford to let it drag out since time was his enemy. But Yuanshi Tianzun seemed to have predicted that exact approach. In just that one minute, there were layers of invisible exchanges happening beneath the surface."

Compared to the thunderous applause that followed Jiang Jingwei and Zhao Chenghuang's battle, the crowd around the crater's rim was considerably calmer this time. No roaring ovation shook the arena.

Even so, the discussion it sparked was fervent and animated. Like fans dissecting a competitive match after the fact, they sprayed opinions left and right, critiquing tactics, pointing out mistakes, debating which move was reckless, and which engagement shouldn't have happened.

By contrast, Zhao Chenghuang and Jiang Jingwei's fight had only inspired a collective "holy shit!" Perhaps followed by a "badass," but nothing approaching this level of armchair analysis and engagement. Yuanshi Tianzun versus Crossing Pawn was a match they could actually comprehend, and one where they could offer opinions.

Medics rushed into the lava pool and carried out the bleeding Crossing Pawn. The stab hadn't hit anything vital, but without immediate treatment, the contestant's life could still be in danger.

Zhang Yuanqing basked in the cheers from the spectators, letting their chaotic commentary wash over him as he prepared to leave the lava pool.

He stepped forward with his left foot, but his right leg moved on its own, lurching ahead before his brain could finish issuing the command. Intent and execution collided, and he stumbled, barely catching himself before he fell.

Shit. The side effects of the Mirror Flower, Water Moon are kicking in. He froze in place, not daring to move.

The red-haired elder stood at the rim of the volcano, gazing down at Yuanshi Tianzun, who remained planted in the arena, soaking up the crowd's adoration. His patience wore thin.

"Are you coming up, or do you want another fight?" he asked irritably.

Zhang Yuanqing turned toward him and said in his most earnest tone, "Elder, my body's malfunctioning. I can't move properly. Could you give me a lift?"

The red-haired elder's expression darkened. "I can carry you up. But could you at least not talk to me with your back toward me? Show some basic respect."

"Oh, sorry!" Zhang Yuanqing said, hurriedly turning around.

A vein bulged on the elder's forehead. "So facing me with your side counts as respect now?"

"..."

The red-haired elder snorted coldly. With a flick of his wrist, he lashed out a whip of condensed flame, hooked it around Yuanshi Tianzun's waist, and flung him ashore like a dead fish.

***

Sun Miaomiao crouched beside Zhao Chenghuang, grinning. "So? Still think Yuanshi Tianzun is nothing special?"

As a seeded candidate from the Taiyi Sect, she'd attended the pre-tournament strategy meeting where senior members had gathered the seeds to discuss the top-ten competitors' strengths and weaknesses, crafting targeted tactics for each.

Zhao Chenghuang's assessment of Yuanshi Tianzun at the time had been blunt. He could push to the top eight at best, but would most likely be eliminated in the round of sixteen. Top four was out of the question.

Zhao Chenghuang met Sun Miaomiao's shining, dark-colored eyes and considered for a moment before saying, "He's extremely skilled at leveraging items and terrain. The more chaotic and complex the scenario, the stronger someone like him becomes. If the quarterfinals take place in a high-difficulty dungeon, he could turn into a serious threat."

Sun Miaomiao nodded thoughtfully.

***

Elsewhere, tucked away in an unremarkable spot, Annie let out a soft laugh.

"Interesting," she murmured. "Yuanshi Tianzun's combat style bears some resemblance to Demon Lord's, though he's far more restrained. Then again, all these contestants are restrained."

She was pleased with his performance. Every win raised her estimation another notch.

"Restrained?" Bill asked.

Annie nodded. "Demon Lord's fighting style was meticulous yet savage. Before every battle, he liked to insult the women in his opponent's family to provoke them into losing their composure. He even developed a signature taunt for it. These Five Elements Alliance kids all fight so politely. That's no good."

Bill had only tossed out that question casually, but now his curiosity was piqued. "A signature taunt? If it's not classified, I'd love to hear it."

Annie shrugged. "It's vulgar nonsense, mostly. Not worth repeating. Though there was one that wasn't vulgar on the surface. We just couldn't understand it."

She thought for a moment, then recited a line of what sounded like something out of a classical text, the kind of lofty declaration a Confucian scholar might make. Literally, it proclaimed a bond of brotherhood with the listener's father and a legendary friendship with the listener's mother, invoking the famous tale of Guan Zhong and Bao Shuya.

In reality, every phrase was a filthy double entendre. "Fellow traveler with your father" and "intimate companion of your mother" meant exactly what they sounded like they didn't.

Bill repeated the phrase under his breath, then shook his head helplessly. "I don't get it. How is this supposed to make people angry?"

Annie smiled. "You could try shouting it and see."

Bill fell silent for a few seconds, then slowly shook his head. "I'll pass. I'd rather not return to the Spirit Realm this early."

***

Elsewhere, another beautiful woman shared Annie's high opinion of Yuanshi Tianzun.

Zhu Rong narrowed her lovely eyes, fixing them on his distant, unfocused silhouette. A smile spread across her face, gorgeous and dangerous in equal measure.

"What an exciting little toy."

***

The remaining matches proceeded in orderly fashion. By dusk, the top eight had been decided: Zhao Chenghuang, Earth God, Sun Miaomiao, Tone Deaf, Yuanshi Tianzun, Green Pine, Yuan Ting, and World Ablaze.

The red-haired elder serving as referee raised his voice to the crowd.

"The matches are concluded!"

***

Zhang Yuanqing returned to his little room. The window hung open, and the evening breeze lifted a corner of the curtains as it drifted gently in.

Beyond the door came the clattering of Grandma cooking dinner. The sounds of people returning from work filtered in through the window. He could hear them entering the neighborhood with their bags slung over their shoulders, their footsteps tapping as they crisscrossed the streets. All of them moved with purpose, dragging tired bodies home just in time for dinner. After eating, they'd rest up for the next day's commute.

Songhai's evenings were loud and bustling. Despite the dense population, there was an odd lack of real community living, unless you were in one of the old communities where locals had set down roots. Without that, you'd rarely spot grandmas cooling off under the trees or old men huddled over chess.

"Grandma, is dinner ready? I'm starving!" Zhang Yuanqing cracked open his door, stuck his head out, and hollered.

Grandma's voice floated out from the kitchen. "When did you get home? Give me another half hour."

"Okay!"

He ducked back inside, grabbed his phone, and sent his customary victory message to Xiao Yuan, showing off as usual.

Xiao Yuan: Not bad!

A few seconds later, she sent another message.

Xiao Yuan: Don't come looking for me these next few days. I think someone's following me.

Someone's following her...? Zhang Yuanqing's heart tightened, and he typed out a reply.

Zhang Yuanqing: Someone from an official organization?

Xiao Yuan: I'm not sure. Whoever it is, they're careful. Probably not a low-level person. They haven't made any aggressive moves yet. I'm planning to string them along a bit longer.

If he remembered correctly, Xiao Yuan was a Saint-tier Hex Master. Someone at that level could hold her own even against someone from the official organization. He sent another message.

Zhang Yuanqing: If you need anything, just say the word.

Granted, if it actually came to a fight, a Transcendent-tier Yuanshi Tianzun wouldn't count for much. But if the stalker was from an official organization, then his Yuanshi Tianzun identity itself carried weight. Besides, with Master Wuhen watching over Xiao Yuan, most factions would think twice before making a move, so he wasn't too worried.

Xiao Yuan: Okay.

Zhang Yuanqing left it at that. But a few minutes later, Xiao Yuan sent a single smiley-face emoji.

He replied with a question mark of his own, but there was no response.

What's that supposed to mean? he wondered, feeling baffled.

Then he noticed someone had tagged him in the White Tiger Guard group chat. He opened the chat.

Phoenix Descending: @Yuanshi Tianzun, the clone you used today was created by the Mirror Flower, Water Moon item from our guild warehouse, right? Using interference tactics would not have worked well against Scouts that specialize in detection and perception, so going with a clone was the smart play. You're good at leveraging items.

Phoenix Descending: I've compiled a breakdown of each top-eight competitor's strengths, weaknesses, and which items to use against them. You should be able to find suitable counters to use against all but the top three in the White Tiger Guard's guild warehouse. However, when it comes to Zhao Chenghuang, Sun Miaomiao, and Earth God, we simply don't have the right items. Not unless you go up to the Saint tier, which I wouldn't recommend.

The line between what was legal and illegal got blurry when it came to Saint-tier items. Thus far, no one in the tournament had used one. Zhang Yuanqing's Straw Doll technically reached that level, but it was a support item.

Little Axe: That would be too easily flagged as a violation. Plus, people will say you didn't earn the win. At your level of fame, you need to protect your reputation.

Ling Jun: Given the current situation, making the top three looks tough for Yuanshi. I thought you could do it, but after watching all these matches, the top three are on another level. Even if you pulled out that item, I doubt you'd win.

He was referring to the Red Dancing Shoes.

Shichiro: If Yuanshi draws one of the top three tomorrow, his run will be over at the quarterfinals. Boss, what do you think? @Fu Qingyang

Fu Qingyang: The format for tomorrow might change. I just got word from the elders. HQ is apparently considering throwing all eight competitors into a high-difficulty dungeon, in a survival-of-the-fittest style, to determine the top three. They're still in meetings about it.

The active members of the chat were instantly stunned.

Shichiro: So the Transcendent-tier arena matches are just... done?

Phoenix Descending: Hah. Knowing HQ, their meetings will drag on for at least three days. There won't be any arena matches tomorrow. They'll call it a rest day.

Little Axe: Honestly, I think it's a good move. Large-scale slaughter dungeons basically work the same way. HQ probably wants this tournament to mirror real dungeon conditions to get the top eight acclimated early. Reading between the lines, they're investing heavily in developing these eight.

Fu Qingyang: Let's wait for HQ's decision. If they go with the dungeon format, Yuanshi might actually have a shot at first place. But you saw Zhao Chenghuang's performance today. That one move of his drops your win rate to below thirty percent. @Yuanshi Tianzun

Yuanshi Tianzun: Yeah.

If they switch to a dungeon format, the environmental variables go up, which does improve my odds. But Zhao Chenghuang is no dungeon amateur either, and we're both Nocturnal Specters. Whatever disadvantages the environment throws at him, it'll throw at me too. It's still a headache.But this is all for the sake of the Houtu Boots. I can't give up on it yet.

Zhang Yuanqing didn't want to dwell on these unpleasant thoughts. He opened a private chat with Ling Jun.

Zhang Yuanqing: Quick question. There's this older woman who suddenly went cold on me. You've got experience with women. Help me figure it out.

Ling Jun: ???

Ling Jun: Bro. You're into older women? Spicy taste.

Zhang Yuanqing: She's got the body and the face to back it up.

Ling Jun: My man. You've got a future.

Yuanshi Tianzun: Here's the deal. She ran into some minor trouble recently. Probably minor, anyway. She deliberately told me about it. Now that I think about it, given her personality, if it were actually serious she'd just ask for help outright. And if it were trivial, she wouldn't bother mentioning it. So she told me on purpose.

Ling Jun: And what did you say back?

Yuanshi Tianzun: "If you need anything, just say the word." Then she sent a smile emoji and went silent.

Ling Jun: Tell me about her personality. I'll break it down for you.

Zhang Yuanqing described Xiao Yuan's character in considerable detail.

After hearing it all, Ling Jun felt the visceral anguish of a Challenger-tier player watching a Bronze-league rookie fumble through the most basic plays. He sent a string of sweating emojis.

Ling Jun: Women like her have ironclad emotional defenses. They are cold to everyone, with no exceptions. But deep down, they're desperate for warmth, which is why they value the companions they do have. When it comes to potential suitors, though, she'll reflexively push them away. It doesn't matter if they're good or bad. She shuts them all down, kills every possibility before it starts.

Ling Jun: With this type, you have to be persistent. Relentlessly and shamelessly persistent. But be mindful of the line. Make her sigh with resignation, not recoil in disgust. After that, study her. Observe her. Find the soft spot in her heart and strike hard, with one clean blow. Like what you did to Crossing Pawn today.

Zhang Yuanqing: That analogy feels wrong somehow. Anyway, go on.

Ling Jun: Once you get past that stage, she'll start developing feelings. She'll observe you, test you, quietly probe with little things, but she'll never say what she actually wants. She demands a lot of attention. And the moment you fumble, the moment you respond the wrong way, she'll retreat back into her shell instantly.

Realization hit Zhang Yuanqing like a bolt of lightning. He frantically typed out a reply.

Zhang Yuanqing: How do I fix this?

Ling Jun: She told you not to go see her, right? Do the opposite. Go anyway. Secretly. On one hand, you're showing that you respect her wishes by not being obvious about it. On the other, you're showing you care enough to go regardless. Remember this forever: it takes a lot of effort to sustain a relationship with women like her, but in the end, they crave warmth and attention. So 'relentless persistence' absolutely works on them. When she says 'don't,' and you actually don't? That's the real idiot move.

Zhang Yuanqing: Makes sense, makes sense!

He fired off a string of [Accept My Worship, Great One] stickers.

Then he typed another question.

Zhang Yuanqing: There's also this older sister I've been stuck at a plateau with for a while. She's very tolerant of me, and we're close, but it feels like something's missing. It's like we're more than friends, less than lovers.

Ling Jun: You're talking about Guan Ya, right?

Zhang Yuanqing sent an [Accept My Profound Respect, Great One] sticker to mask his embarrassment.

Ling Jun: Nothing to be embarrassed about. When I was young, I dreamed of having two soulmates. One like Lin Daiyu, the melancholic beauty from Dream of the Red Chamber, and one like Baochai, the graceful, sensible one. A maid like Qingwen to warm my bed. And ideally a mature woman like Qin Keqing to teach me the ways of the world. Every young man has those fantasies. Any guy in his early twenties who claims he doesn't is lying through his teeth.

In Ling Jun's estimation, Yuanshi Tianzun was the textbook case of a straight guy who fantasized about beautiful older women but had never actually dated anyone. Sure, Yuanshi was socially adept, and a natural at working a room. But navigating social situations and navigating romance were entirely different skill sets. The latter demanded experience, and no amount of charisma could substitute for it. Being a social butterfly and being a smooth operator in love were two completely separate concepts.

Ling Jun: That said, I honestly wouldn't recommend pursuing Guan Ya. She's a Scout. If you ever have a change of heart or cheat on her, those eagle eyes of hers will catch it immediately. And the real kicker? You can't beat her in a fight. When things go south, you're the one getting smacked around.

Yuanshi Tianzun: ...

Ling Jun: But since you asked, I'll teach you what to do. Guan Ya comes from a noble Spirit Realm family. Her standards are high. She wouldn't look twice at an ordinary man. On that front, you're fine. The Yuanshi Tianzun name carries enough weight.

Ling Jun: She has a somewhat unusual personality. When she gets going with the dirty jokes, even I blush and squirm, but you handle it fine, and that's actually a major factor in why she likes you. Based on my analysis, there are three reasons your relationship has stalled.

Ling Jun: First, you simply haven't known each other long enough. A woman of her background isn't going to rush into a relationship with any man. The second thing is also related to her family status. She may be rebellious, but she knows who she is. Her family will absolutely have a say in who she marries. She probably feels you're not quite ready to meet the parents yet, so she's keeping you at arm's length.

Ling Jun: Third, you're missing a catalyst. Something like a romantic confession, a life-or-death crisis that brings you together, or maybe just a night of drunken recklessness.

As Zhang Yuanqing read each message, his eyes widened a little further.

Zhang Yuanqing: Got it, got it.

Ling Jun: Anything else? If not, I'm going to eat.

Well, there is, actually. There's the palace master too...

Zhang Yuanqing: Nope, that's it. Thanks, Master.

He tapped on Ling Jun's avatar and changed his nickname to "Life Coach!"

***

In the dining room of his Fu Family Bay villa, Fu Qingyang sat with knife and fork in hand, working through a lavish dinner. His gaze drifted to the man across the table, who was cradling his phone with a supremely satisfied grin plastered across his face.

Fu Qingyang's brow furrowed.

"New girlfriend?" he asked, his voice flat and measured. "No, that's not it. Your expression has satisfaction in it, smugness, and something darker. A sort of devious glee. A girlfriend wouldn't elicit that particular combination."

Ling Jun set down his phone. "Of course I'll be satisfied when I see someone carrying on my philosophy, my life's scholarly work. Of course I'll be smug."

He speared a piece of roasted meat and chewed thoughtfully. "Yuanshi Tianzun messaged me asking for guidance."

Fu Qingyang's expression remained placid. "He asked you how to pick up women?"

"No!" Ling Jun's face turned deadly serious. "He asked me how to become your cousin-in-law."

***

After dinner, Zhang Yuanqing lay in bed scrolling through posts on the official forum, half-heartedly texting Guan Ya while tossing the occasional reply to Xie Lingxi and Call Me Queen.

His mind kept circling back to what Fu Qingyang had said before the meal.

If HQ really did adjust the competition format, it wouldn't be a pure test of combat anymore. Environmental factors, competitor personalities, all of it would come into play.

His next objective was clear: gather intelligence on every top-eight competitor's personality and background, then build a behavioral profile for each one.

Guan Ya and the squad leader are both Scouts. Tomorrow I'll get them to help put together a personality analysis of the top eight.

With that decision made, he switched off his phone and burrowed under the cooling covers.

The shrill ring of his phone cut through the quiet. It was Fu Qingyang.

Zhang Yuanqing answered immediately. "Hello, Centurion?"

Fu Qingyang's voice was as cold as December frost.

—Get to Fu Family Bay. Elder Teddy wants to see you.

"Elder Teddy wants to see me?" Zhang Yuanqing frowned. "What for?"

An elder wouldn't summon someone on a whim. And if it were important, why not mention it during today's tournament?

—He's taking you to see the Demon Eye Heavenly King.