Chapter 87: Talking with Lily on Night Duty

That night, Lily was the one on night duty.

"Master Robby, I believe you already understand, but please refrain from any reckless behavior tonight."

"Yeah, I know."

Lily looked somewhat relieved. She had probably been worried that my unrestrained libido would go out of control again tonight.

"I came here because I wanted to tell you about Stevie."

So that was it. I had thought she wouldn’t come unless it was for that reason.

"Did you get to meet Stevie?"

"Yes, I did. We were also able to talk."

"I see. How was she? I doubt she’s doing well..."

"She’s better than I expected, I suppose. Her brother’s lover was completely exhausted, and Stevie seemed to be doing her best to support her. I heard that ever since they left the royal capital, Stevie has been constantly by her side, comforting and supporting her."

"Did Stevie tell you that herself?"

"No, Stevie barely spoke, but one of her acquaintances went with them, so I heard the story from that person."

"I see. That must be really tough. I wonder what Stevie will do from now on... If there’s anything I can do to help, I want her to come to me. Though honestly, all I can really do is earn some pocket money at the Accounts Department."

"Master Robby, as I’ve told you before, please don’t worry too much about Stevie. You can help her if and when she comes to you for assistance. But under no circumstances should you visit her room. Please be very careful about that."

"I understand, but I can’t help but be concerned."

"I know how kind you are, Master Robby. However, if you become too fixated on Stevie, it may affect your own future. Please keep that in mind."

"Yeah, I got it."

"Lily, there’s something I want to ask about what happened today when we received the Crown Prince’s remains."

I always make sure to use proper titles when asking people about things.

"Yes? I’ll answer if it’s something I know."

"The Knight Commander who brought back the Crown Prince’s body committed suicide right in front of His Majesty the King, didn’t he? No one seemed surprised by it. Did everyone already know it was going to happen?"

Lily’s eyes widened for a moment at my question, but she quickly returned to her usual expression.

"I didn’t expect the Knight Commander to do it right there, but everyone knew he would commit suicide sooner or later."

She said it as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

"Everyone was expecting it?"

"Yes. His Highness the Crown Prince led the knights on the subjugation mission against the magical beast. The fact that he died is the responsibility of the knight order."

"The knight order’s responsibility..."

"Exactly. The captain of the First Knight Squadron, who had already been on the subjugation mission, committed suicide on the spot."

"So the squadron captain is dead too."

"Yes. The Knight Commander and the captain of the First Knight Squadron — their two lives are the price paid for the loss of His Highness’s life. Some might say two lives aren’t enough, but if too many others died as well, the knight order itself would cease to function."

"I see..."

"Many of the surviving members of the First Knight Squadron also tried to commit suicide to atone, but His Majesty ordered them to stop. However, the disgrace of failing to protect the Crown Prince will follow the First Knight Squadron forever. I think surviving and having to live with that shame is far more painful. Stevie’s brother suffered a tragic fate, but I believe dying was easier for him."

So the king had issued orders to stop the suicides because he anticipated many would try to follow the Crown Prince in death.

"Is it really that serious?"

"Yes, it is. That’s why I don’t think the families of the deceased will cry openly in public. They died together with His Highness, but they failed to protect him."

When she put it that way, it made sense, but still... what a harsh world. Maybe when the magical beast attacked, some could have escaped on their own, but because the Crown Prince was there, they chose to become his shield and died protecting him.

"But Master Robby, I’m truly worried about what comes next. His Highness the Crown Prince was an outstanding person, so no one objected to him becoming the next king. Now that he’s gone, a succession struggle among the other princes will surely begin.

Many of His Highness’s close aides will probably commit suicide as well. Normally, when someone of high status passes, they designate who should follow them in death, and those suicides are prevented. But this time, His Highness died in an unexpected accident, so there were no such designations."

"There are official designations for suicide attendants?"

"Yes. Otherwise, it would spread uncontrollably."

"So what will happen this time?"

"I believe His Majesty the King will impose restrictions. The Crown Prince’s close aides were all exceptionally talented individuals expected to become the core of this country’s future. The Prime Minister’s eldest son, the Finance Minister’s eldest son, the Army Minister’s eldest son, the Foreign Minister’s eldest son — all of them were brilliant young men expected to shoulder both their families and the nation. If all of them commit suicide, what will become of this country’s future? It’s deeply concerning."

"You’re right."

"Indeed. Many of the aides who accompanied him on the subjugation mission were also people the country had high hopes for. Stevie’s brother was expected to one day lead the knight order. It’s truly a shame."

"Those talented people should stay alive instead of dying in suicide."

"Everyone thinks so, but those who don’t commit suicide apparently suffer greatly. The guilt toward those who died, the way others look at them, the feeling of ’why didn’t you die too?’ — it becomes unbearable. Some can’t live with those eyes on them and end up dying anyway, or they cut all ties with society. I’ve heard that those who remain alive often have the harder time. That’s why so many choose to die."

I somehow felt I could understand that feeling.

"On that note, even if I die, no one’s likely to commit suicide for me, so that’s a relief."

I said it casually, but Lily’s eyes widened in shock.

"What are you saying?! Lord Gilmore will definitely commit suicide for you! Ah, but Lady Doreen might stop him. Since her husband is here and she serves as Lady Doreen’s maid... In that case, I might be the only one left to follow you. Stevie will surely do it too. So please take both me and Stevie with you!"

She spoke with surprising intensity.

I figured Cathy would probably do it, but Lily was willing to die with me too. For some reason, tears welled up in my eyes. Ah, they’re flowing. I can’t stop them.

I learned how deeply moving it is to know there are people who would die together with me.