Chapter 41: A Sick Lizard and an Ugly Cupcake

"WHAT THE FUCK?! WHERE’S MY DRAGON EGG?!"

Zishan almost fell over when the medical tent disappeared. He had been holding his Dragon Egg a moment ago, but now he was standing in a kitchen with one hand resting on a wooden counter and the other holding what appeared to be a spoon covered in chocolate.

He checked the counter, looked underneath it, and even tried checking his Tamed Beasts menu before realizing that his hands weren’t moving the way he wanted them to.

’OI! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?! SYSTEM! DID THAT FUCKING EGG JUST TELEPORT ME?!’

There was no response.

’SYSTEM?! YOU BASTARD! DON’T TELL ME YOU’VE ABANDONED ME HERE! WHERE AM I EVEN SUPPOSED TO FIND A DRAGON EGG IN SOMEBODY’S FUCKING KITCHEN?! WHY AM I HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE EVEN?!’

Still, he received nothing.

Zishan tried opening his Status Panel next, but the familiar greenish screen refused to appear. He was beginning to suspect that he’d finally encountered something even the Precedence System couldn’t explain, which was particularly concerning because the damned thing usually had no trouble explaining how stupid he was.

And before he could decide whether to start screaming for help, somebody behind him spoke. The voice sounded calming and melodious.

"You’re home early! I thought you said you wouldn’t be back until later!"

Zishan turned around.

A woman was standing on the other side of the counter, holding a piping bag with frosting smeared across her fingers. There was flour on her apron, several used bowls piled beside the sink, and an entire tray of cupcakes that looked as though they’d been subjected to some kind of horrible experiment.

What caught his attention, however, was that he couldn’t see her face properly.

’Huh? Is there something wrong with my eyes?’

He could see the frosting on her hands and even the little patch of flour on her sleeve, but whenever he tried focusing on her face, the details refused to remain clear.

’WHAT KIND OF SHITTY ILLUSION IS THIS?! I’M NOT THAT CRAZY YET TO IMAGINE A WOMAN WITH CUPCAKES IN HER HAND! WELL... IT’S NOT BAD FOR SOME REASON... I MIGHT BE HALLUCINATING...’

Zishan opened his mouth to demand an explanation, only to hear himself say something completely different.

"Didn’t you tell me you were going to surprise me? Why does it look like somebody robbed a bakery and destroyed all the evidence here?"

"..."

’WHAT?! I DIDN’T SAY THAT!’

He tried covering his mouth, but his hand had already reached toward the tray of cupcakes.

"HEY! DON’T TOUCH THOSE YET!"

The woman caught his wrist before he could grab one. She hurriedly moved the tray farther away and complained that she’d spent the entire afternoon trying to get the frosting right, only for him to come home earlier than expected and start stealing everything before she’d even finished decorating.

Zishan couldn’t believe what was happening. Somebody was apparently controlling his body, the System had abandoned him, and this mysterious woman was more concerned about protecting her cupcakes than answering his extremely important questions.

’FUCK! AM I POSSESSED?! WAIT! DOES THAT MEAN I CAN’T GET BACK TO MY DRAGON?! JUSTICE! JUSTICE! I NEED JUSTICE!’

His body continued moving without his permission. He watched himself lean across the counter, inspect the cupcakes the woman had been trying to hide, and pick up one with so much frosting that he wondered whether there was even any cake underneath it.

The woman immediately tried snatching it away. "That one’s ugly! I haven’t finished fixing it!"

"Ugly? What are you talking about? It’s a cupcake! As long as it tastes good, who gives a fuck what it looks like?" He shoved half of it into his mouth before she could respond.

Zishan had been prepared to panic again, but the moment he tasted the cupcake, he temporarily forgot about his missing Dragon Egg.

’HOLY SHIT! THAT’S GOOD!’

The frosting was ridiculously sweet, and the cake was still warm. He wasn’t entirely sure how he was tasting something when he couldn’t even control his own mouth, but he certainly wasn’t going to complain about that particular development.

’LIKE DUH! THAT’S CUPCAKE!’

The woman watched him finish the cupcake before nervously asking whether it actually tasted all right. She’d never made cupcakes for him before, and judging from the enormous mess surrounding them, she’d experienced quite a few difficulties during her first attempt.

"The first batch burned, and I accidentally added too much milk to the frosting on the second one. I was going to throw everything away and buy some instead, but then I thought you’d probably complain that I didn’t make them myself."

His mouth opened while he was still chewing. "Why would I complain about somebody giving me free cupcakes?!"

"Because you said you wanted to try something I made!"

"Well, I’m eating them now, aren’t I?"

She finally laughed, but she still looked rather embarrassed by the state of her baking.

Zishan was starting to enjoy himself. Whoever this mysterious bastard was, he clearly shared his excellent taste in desserts. He’d even chosen a girlfriend who knew how to make cupcakes!

’Wait a fucking minute. GIRLFRIEND?!’

He tried examining the woman again, hoping that her face would finally become clear. The only things he could properly distinguish were her apron, her hands, and the cupcake she’d been attempting to decorate before he arrived.

’OI! AT LEAST LET ME SEE WHAT SHE LOOKS LIKE! WHAT KIND OF DREAM GIVES ME A GIRLFRIEND BUT WON’T EVEN SHOW ME HER FACE?! IS THIS EVEN A FUCKING DREAM?! I DON’T UNDERSTAND ANYMORE! AHHHH!’

Meanwhile, his body had apparently decided that eating one cupcake wasn’t enough. He reached for another, earning an exasperated complaint from the woman when he selected the ugliest one on the tray.

"Don’t eat that! I was going to throw it away!"

"THROW IT AWAY?!" He quickly shoved it into his mouth.

The woman stared at him in disbelief as he attempted to chew through what turned out to be an extraordinary amount of frosting. She eventually had to hand him a glass of water when he started coughing. She laughed so hard that she nearly spilled it all over him.

Zishan would’ve joined her if he hadn’t been experiencing the extremely unfortunate sensation of choking on somebody else’s cupcake.

’FUCK! DON’T TELL ME I’M GOING TO DIE FROM A CUPCAKE AGAIN!’

Luckily, his body managed to swallow everything before matters became serious.

He gave her a look of absolute satisfaction. "See? Nothing wrong with them! You should make more next time!"

The woman shook her head as she started clearing the counter, complaining that she should’ve known better than to ask his opinion when he’d probably eat anything as long as it had enough frosting.

He offered to help her clean up, but kept stealing cupcakes whenever she wasn’t paying attention. She caught him several times, even threatening to hide the entire tray if he didn’t stop eating.

He ate the last cupcake while she was washing the bowls.

"YOU ATE EVERYTHING!" she complained, staring at the empty tray.

"Of course! You made them for me! Who else would eat it other than myself?" His eyes narrowed into slits. "Do you have something to tell me I don’t—"

"I just wanted to save some for tomorrow!" the woman grumbled.

"Then, make another set tomorrow!"

The woman reached for a towel and threatened to throw it at him, but she was still laughing when he approached her from behind and wrapped his arms around her waist.

Zishan’s thoughts came to an abrupt stop.

’...Huh?’

His body leaned forward and rested his chin against her shoulder while she continued complaining about how expensive the ingredients had been. She eventually gave up and turned around in his arms, reaching up to wipe away some frosting that had remained near his mouth.

He kissed her before she could finish.

’HOLY FUCKING SHIT?!’

Zishan had never been so confused in his entire life. He wanted to know who this woman was, why he was dating her, and whether the Dragon Egg was responsible for showing him somebody else’s romantic adventures.

’IS THE DRAGON MALE? IS THIS THE DRAGON’S ROMANTIC LOVER BEFORE?’

But when she began laughing again, something rather strange happened.

He felt happy and somewhat excited.

Not the sort of excitement he usually experienced whenever the System rewarded him with another broken Skill. He’d almost forgotten about the Dragon Egg, and for several moments, he simply enjoyed listening to her complain about how she was never going to make cupcakes for him again.

His body seemed to know that she wasn’t serious.

He held her a little closer and promised to buy enough ingredients for her to make an entire mountain of cupcakes next time.

Zishan wasn’t sure when the kitchen had changed.

One moment, he’d been listening to the woman complain about her destroyed apron. The next, they were sitting beside each other with another plate of cupcakes between them, and she was struggling to decorate one with green frosting.

She had apparently been attempting to draw a dragon.

The creature she’d created looked more like a lizard that had gotten into a fight with something considerably larger than itself.

"Is that supposed to be a dragon?" he heard himself ask.

The woman instantly stopped decorating and held up the cupcake as though she were presenting some extraordinary masterpiece. She insisted that it was obviously a dragon and that he simply lacked the artistic appreciation necessary to recognize one.

He examined it for several seconds before telling her that the poor creature probably needed medical attention.

She elbowed him in the stomach.

’HAHAHAHA! FUCK! IT REALLY DOES LOOK LIKE A SICK LIZARD!’

His body apparently found the situation equally amusing. He laughed until the woman threatened to stop making cupcakes, at which point he surrendered without a hint of hesitation and declared that it was the most magnificent dragon he’d ever seen.

She clearly didn’t believe him. Regardless, he still ate it.

The woman was still complaining about his horrible appreciation of art when she leaned against his shoulder. His arm moved around her without hesitation, and he continued listening as she explained how she was going to make an even better dragon next time.

Zishan found himself wondering how many times they’d done something like this.

Everything about their interaction seemed so familiar. Even the way his hand occasionally reached for hers felt natural, as though he’d spent a considerable amount of time sitting beside her and eating whatever ridiculous cupcakes she decided to make.

He tried remembering her name, but for some reason... he couldn’t.

’...’

’Who the hell are you?’

He was still thinking about that when the memory changed again. There was another plate of cupcakes on the table.

This time, nobody was eating.