Chapter 162: I really really missed you

Noah’s POV

Elias’s brows are creased as his dark eyes search my face carefully.

I wonder what he’s thinking. I won’t lie...I’m terrified. I’m not afraid of him, but of what I’ve done. I did give Roman the proximity to kiss me. It’s all my fault.

"Noah..." Elias says and I interrupt him without thinking it through.

"I kissed Roman" I blurt breathlessly and he chuckles softly. The soft laugh is different from the smile he wore at the door. While his smile had been an attempt to look softer, his laughter right now sounds psychotic.

"I kissed him" I repeat myself to make sure he’d hear me loud and clear.

"I know, Angel. I know he kissed you" Elias says quietly, and my heart clenches with worry and fear.

"Aren’t you mad at me?" I ask and he releases a breath.

"I’m mad. I’m fucking angry and I’m full of rage, but it’s not at you, Angel. Never at you" Elias murmurs and my heart sinks to my stomach. I don’t deserve him. Back at home in Winslow, looking at another alpha as a taken omega is punishable by public humiliation.

I’ve seen alphas discard their omegas just because the omega brushed shoulders with another alpha or beta.

Elias Deus, the so-called devil, isn’t tossing me aside. Instead, he wraps his arms tighter around me. My omega whimpers at the tenderness, but I pull away from him to look at his face as I suddenly remember the last thing I heard before passing out.

The man who paid to violate me was Roman’s own father.

"Elias, was it really Roger Stiles who did that to me?" I ask and he nods without breaking our eye contact. My alpha’s jaws tighten with his anger, and I frown as I try to figure out why he’d do that to me.

"But...didn’t he sign a deal that I’d marry his son? Why would he come for me like that?" I ask with pain.

"Stop crying" Elias says coldly.

"I’m not crying" I lie and wipe my face with the back of my hand. "I just want to know the reason" I say.

"It’s too late for him to give his reason. I killed him already" Elias says bluntly and I press my palm to his face just to feel his face under my touch. My eyes move from his face to his shirt. His shirt is stained with reddish-brown splatters of blood.

"Why...why are you stained in blood?" I ask, and he presses his lips into a thin line.

Is there a new dead body to worry about? Is it Roman? Oh Goddess. Elias must have killed Roman.

"Elias...did you kill Roman?" I whisper my question and the alpha lifts his shoulders in a nonchalant shrug.

"Elias" I say his name firmly.

"Are you against the idea of me killing him?"

"Yes! You don’t go around murdering people. It’s not proper" I say and hit him on the chest. I’m mad at Roman for kissing me like that, but I don’t want him dead. He’s still precious to me.

"Angel, why do you always forget who I am and what I do for a living?" Elias asks, holding me tight enough that his fingers dig into my skin. Right, he’s a murderer. Ugh. No one around me is normal.

I wriggle out of his grip and get off his lap.

"Noah, come back" he orders and I turn around to give him the middle finger. He and his weirdly deep voice can get away from me. As I turn away from him, his arms wrap around my stomach and he pulls me back.

My throat closes up at the similarity of this action to the same one that sent me into a panic attack with Roman.

"Elias..." I gasp his name desperately, and he immediately lets go of me.

"I’m sorry" he says instantly and I walk to the edge of the bed. "It’s okay...it just felt too sudden" I say quietly, leaning my elbows on my legs and trying to regulate my unsteady breathing.

Elias is not Roman. Elias is not Styles. Elias is not Roger either. He’s my Elias.

"I haven’t killed Roman" Elias says and I look up at him with an expression of relief.

"Yet" he adds darkly and I wince.

"Don’t kill him, please. I think he’s innocent" I say warily and Elias falls back into the leather chair. We stare at each other in silence for a few seconds before I finally sigh.

"I know what you’re thinking. I know I thought my father’s wife was innocent too and I know--"

"That’s not what I’m thinking" he interrupts me.

"Really? Then what’s on your mind?" I ask carefully and he leans back in the chair.

"I’m thinking of kissing you breathless" he says and I blink twice owlishly. I probably didn’t hear him well. Did he just say he wants to kiss me while we’re talking of sparing the life of someone?

"I want to kiss you" he says again with more firmness in his voice as he gets out of the chair and approaches me.

"You’re not mad I kissed someone else?" I ask, shrinking into myself the closer he gets.

He smells so good. He smells like who I trust. He smells like a feeling of unshakable safety.

"I don’t give a fuck about that, Noah. I want to kiss you and remind you what it’s like to be kissed by your mate" he says and I nod. I want it too. I want to press my lips together and remember Elias’s lips...not Roman’s.

"Can I?" Elias asks quietly. He’s now hovering over me and I’m laying back on the bed. Entranced by his eyes, I lick my lips and search his face.

I want it but...I need to brush my teeth. At least the kiss should be good for Elias. And I need to stall for a few minutes. The guilt from kissing Roman is still there.

Kissing him is on the forefront of my mind but I’m scared...what if our lips touch and he realizes he doesn’t want an omega who has been touched and kissed by other people?

"I have to brush. You know I’ve been asleep for a long time and- mgghf" I moan as he slams his lips down on mine. He sighs against my mouth as our lips move against each other in a familiar dance, and I suddenly start to sob against his lips.

Elias instantly breaks the kiss and looks at me with panic in his eyes.

"I’m sorry...did I..." he starts to ask but I don’t let him complete his question. Instead I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him down on me. I missed him too.

I really really missed him.