Chapter 112: The Trials and Tribulations of Loving Alexander Sinclair

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[Lorenzo Castelli]

The Luxembourg Gardens were quieter than Lorenzo had anticipated. After a day of trailing behind Alex through crowded streets, bustling bakeries, historical sites, and book stalls that seemed intent on consuming every minute of their time as Alex talked his ear off about the historical significance of each spot, the tranquility of the gardens felt almost strange.

The afternoon sun peeked through a thin layer of clouds, casting a pleasant coolness over the paths.

People strolled leisurely among the trees and fountains, with strollers creaking softly on the gravel and the occasional burst of laughter coming from a group of students sprawled out on the lawn.

As usual, Alex had found something new to explore. For several minutes, he passionately explained the history of a statue to Lorenzo, sounding as if he’d been there to witness the events firsthand.

Meanwhile, Timothy hung back a few steps, wearing the resigned expression of someone who had accepted that this was simply his life now.

"And that is why," Alex wrapped up, gesturing towards the statue like he was delivering a closing argument in court, "you should really appreciate it."

Lorenzo glanced at the statue and then back at Alex. "I appreciate it."

"You don’t look very appreciative."

Alex shot him a suspicious look before continuing on. Lorenzo couldn’t help but let a small smile creep onto his face.

There was something genuinely entertaining about watching Alex get excited over things that most people would just pass by without a second thought. He could go on for fifteen minutes about an old building, only to be snagged by a bakery window five minutes later, completely forgetting his historical monologue.

Surprisingly quickly, Lorenzo had gotten used to it, even started to enjoy it.

As they walked along one of the garden paths, Alex’s voice trailed off. Lorenzo noticed instantly; Alex had stopped admiring the statues and fountains, now focused on a family sitting under a large tree nearby.

A man was trying to capture a photo with his phone while his partner coaxed their little girl to finish a small pastry. The girl was clearly more interested in running away than eating, laughing as she squirmed free, darting a few steps before her mother caught her.

"Come back here," the woman called out in french, laughing despite the mild scolding. "Look at your dress. You’ll get it dirty!"

The girl giggled, and her father crouched down, arms wide open. She rushed to him, he spun her around once, kissed her cheek, while the woman pretended to be annoyed, shaking her head.

Lorenzo watched Alex absorbing the scene. He didn’t say anything, but there was something in Alex’s expression that made him pause. His face had gone unusually still, the playful glimmer in his eyes dimming into something softer, almost wistful.

After a moment, Alex exhaled softly. "Children... look exhausting."

It was clear he meant it as a joke. Lorenzo could hear it in the casual tone of his voice, but it lacked the usual sharpness.

"They do," Lorenzo replied.

Alex kept watching the family. "Can you imagine carrying snacks everywhere just because someone suddenly decides they’re starving?"

"That sounds pretty inconvenient."

The small smile Alex wore faded quickly as he turned back to the family. "I used to wonder what it would be like."

Lorenzo’s expression shifted. "What do you mean?"

"Having parents who wanted to take me places," Alex’s voice dropped. "Not because they had to, or there was some family duty... Just because they wanted me there, you know?"

Lorenzo fell silent.

Alex swallowed hard, still watching the little girl as her father tried to wipe crumbs from her face. 𝘧𝓇ℯℯ𝑤ℯ𝘣𝓃ℴ

"I often thought about silly things as a kid," he confessed. "Like what it would be like to have someone take pictures of me because they genuinely wanted to. Or to be brought somewhere like this and hear someone complain about me running around too much."

He managed a slight smile. "I think I would have liked being scolded for dirty clothes."

That hit Lorenzo harder than he expected. He knew what Alex had faced, but knowing and hearing it are two very different things.

"You were never the problem," Lorenzo said softly.

Alex looked at him.

"You deserved those things," Lorenzo continued. "You deserved parents who wanted you around. You deserved photographs, holidays, family trips...all of it. None of what happened to you was because you were too much or unwanted."

Alex’s gaze dropped. For once, he didn’t crack a joke.

"I don’t know if I even want kids," he admitted after a moment. "Sometimes I think I do, and sometimes I think I wouldn’t have a clue what I was doing."

"You don’t have to know right now."

"And what if I never want them?"

"Then you don’t have them."

Alex looked up again, almost searching Lorenzo’s face for some hidden condition. There wasn’t one.

"I mean it," Lorenzo pressed. "You don’t have to become a parent just because someone expects you to."

Something in Alex’s expression softened.

"If I ever do have kids," he murmured, "I just want them to feel like they belong. I don’t want them growing up wondering if they weren’t enough."

Lorenzo’s chest tightened. "They won’t."

Alex offered a faint smile. "You sound really confident."

"I am."

"You don’t even know if I’ll want them."

"I know you."

That made Alex chuckle softly. After a moment, he reached for Lorenzo’s hand. Their fingers naturally intertwined, and Alex leaned against his shoulder as they began walking again.

Lorenzo looked down at him.

"We have plenty of time," he said. "Whatever kind of life you want, we’ll build it together."

Alex was quiet for several seconds and Lorenzo smiled. He had spent years thinking that love came with conditions, responsibilities, and expectations. His father had taught him that family was a structure to maintain, not necessarily a haven for safety and Alex had been slowly teaching him otherwise without him even knowing.

They wandered through the gardens until the conversation gradually shifted back to lighter topics, mostly because Alex spotted a vendor selling something he decided they absolutely needed.

By the time they left the gardens, the heaviness of the moment had almost completely faded.

Almost.

However, the sky had begun to darken. Lorenzo noticed the first drops of rain as they walked along a narrow street lined with charming cafés and historic buildings. One landed on Alex’s cheek and he tilted his head up, then another hit his nose. Soon, several more followed.

Instantly, Lorenzo reached for his phone. "We’re heading back to the hotel, my love."

"Wait? No..." Alex looked at him in disbelief. "It’s just rain."

"And it’s getting heavier."

"So?"

"So we have a car."

Alex stared at him for a moment before stepping away from the umbrella one of the guards had quickly opened.

Lorenzo watched as he walked right into the rain. "Alex."

Alex turned around. Water was already darkening his hair and he smiled and then spun around. "Wooo! Paris rain!"

Lorenzo could only watch. Alex laughed as the rain poured around him, lifting his arms as if he had just found the greatest joy in all of Paris. "Come on! Join me, Dracula!"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because you’re getting soaked."

"That’s the fucking point, genius!"

Timothy appeared beside Lorenzo with an umbrella with a horrified expression. "Sir, I believe the Donna has lost his mind!"