Chương 87: Chapter 87: The Cosmic Battleship — The Bus 

The following afternoon, Luke was jolted awake by the incessant, shrill ringing of his smartphone. Suppressing the overwhelming urge to order a Shadow Ninja to throw the offending device into the sun, he begrudgingly accepted the call. 

"Luke? Are you back on Earth?" Agent Coulson's familiar voice echoed through the speaker. 

"Obviously. Do you think you'd get a cell signal in Asgard?" Luke grumbled, his voice thick with annoyance. 

"Uh... you sound like you just woke up." 

"Get to the point, or I'm hanging up." 

Luke let out a massive yawn. If he didn't actually somewhat respect Coulson, he would have already sent a ninja to cut the communication line permanently. 

"Right. Well, 'The Bus' needs to be restored to its original size, and there are a few other administrative matters we need to discuss regarding the aftermath of the battle. If you're currently indisposed, I can inform the Director that you will arrive later this afternoon," Coulson offered politely, sensing Luke's foul mood. 

"Fine. I'll head over this afternoon. Text me the exact coordinates," Luke muttered. He immediately shoved the phone into a nearby Shadow Ninja's hands and ordered the ninja to go run laps outside to inflate his step-counter for the day. He didn't want to be bothered anymore. 

Luke immediately flopped back onto his pillows and fell asleep. 

He had spent the entire previous night frantically helping Frigga organize the logistics and catering for the upcoming, realm-wide banquet. He hadn't returned to Earth until 6:00 AM. That single night of intense, exhausting work had completely cured his 'intermittent hard-working syndrome.' He was officially back in maximum lazy mode. 

Two hours later, Luke finally opened his eyes again. 

So annoying. I really don't want to get up. 

He felt completely devoid of energy, utterly determined to spend the entire day vegetating in bed. 

He lazily summoned a few Shadow Ninjas, instructing them to bring a toothbrush, toothpaste, a basin of water, and a warm towel. He brushed his teeth and washed his face without even lifting his head off the pillow. 

Even though there was absolutely nothing to do in bed, he stubbornly refused to leave it. 

The ninja holding his phone returned. Luke checked the pedometer app. 

Over 50,000 steps! I am definitely taking the number one spot on the leaderboard today! 

Bored, Luke considered playing some mobile games. However, since the smartphone gaming industry in this universe was still in its infancy, there weren't any truly engaging or high-quality games available yet. 

He also couldn't binge-read web novels like he used to. The online literature industry in this timeline was still completely undeveloped; there were no legendary authors churning out million-word epics. 

As he sighed in boredom, his gaze suddenly landed on the squad of incredibly loyal, highly efficient Shadow Ninjas standing silently at attention around his bed. 

Wait a minute... 

A brilliant, incredibly bold idea suddenly flashed in his mind. 

Luke immediately ordered the ninjas to go buy several top-of-the-line computers and set them up in the living room. He then commanded them to sit down, open a word processor, and start writing web novels! 

Although the Shadowkhan technically didn't possess souls, they were fully capable of independent thought, logical reasoning, and even exhibited distinct personalities. 

Given their supernatural physical endurance, flawless typing speed, and infinite stamina, a single ninja could easily churn out hundreds of thousands of words in a single day! Furthermore, with their highly agile, creative minds, they would never experience 'writer's block.' 

This is absolute genius! 

Luke immediately texted JARVIS, instructing the AI to purchase the entire apartment building he currently resided in. 

He would convert the first floor into a dedicated e-sports arena for gaming, the second floor into a massive 'web novel sweatshop' staffed entirely by ninjas, and figure out what to do with the remaining floors later. 

After selecting a few ninjas who demonstrated exceptional creativity and assigning them their writing tasks, Luke found himself bored once again. 

Since it was already mid-afternoon, Coulson texted him the coordinates. 

I guess I should go check it out. It's not like I have anything better to do here, Luke thought. However, he still stubbornly refused to get out of bed. He needed to figure out a way to travel without walking. 

When it came to sheer laziness, Luke possessed an unparalleled, almost magical talent. He quickly formulated a flawless plan. 

Condensing a significant amount of dark energy, Luke constructed a luxurious, incredibly comfortable floating palanquin modeled after a plush lawn chair. Using the absolute last dregs of his physical energy, he rolled out of bed and plopped directly onto the palanquin. He waved his hand dismissively. 

Four sturdy Shadow Ninjas immediately stepped forward and lifted the palanquin smoothly onto their shoulders. With a lazy flick of his finger, Luke opened a Sling Ring portal directly above them. 

The ninjas walked through the portal with absolute, flawless stability. If Luke hadn't been keeping his eyes open, he wouldn't have even felt them moving. 

Exiting the portal, Luke found himself hovering outside a massive, heavily fortified S.H.I.E.L.D. facility. The afternoon sun beat down aggressively on his face. Annoyed by the glare, Luke casually manifested a large, dark energy parasol over the palanquin. 

And so, four pitch-black, terrifying shadow assassins stood perfectly still outside a classified S.H.I.E.L.D. base, dutifully holding a luxurious palanquin while their master lounged comfortably beneath a parasol. The absurd sight naturally drew the bewildered stares of every single agent in the vicinity. 

Luke completely ignored the stares. He casually popped a peeled grape into his mouth while two additional ninjas fanned him gently with large palm fronds. 

The true Emperor experience. 

Receiving reports of the bizarre spectacle, Coulson quickly hurried out to the entrance. 

"Uh... did you suffer some kind of severe psychological trauma?" Coulson asked, staring in sheer bewilderment at Luke's unbelievably lazy setup. 

"Yes. I am currently suffering from the severe, crippling trauma of having actually worked a full shift," Luke mumbled listlessly, his eyes half-closed as if he were about to drift off to sleep again. 

"Worked?" Coulson asked, confused. 

"Just helping Thor's family sort out some administrative issues," Luke waved his hand dismissively. 

"So, where's 'The Bus'? I need to resize it so I can go back home and take a nap," Luke mumbled, his eyelids drooping heavily. 

Seeing that Luke genuinely looked like he was about to fall asleep mid-sentence, Coulson didn't dare waste any time. He quickly led the palanquin-carrying ninjas toward a massive, heavily secured subterranean hangar. 

Luke wasn't surprised by the location. Even in its severely compressed state, 'The Bus' (the Helicarrier-turned-Transformer) was still over thirty feet tall. It obviously wouldn't fit inside a standard office building. 

Entering the cavernous, classified hangar, Luke saw the massive mechanical titan currently crouched in a corner, looking incredibly sullen and miserable. Standing directly in front of the giant robot was a highly animated, wildly gesturing human. 

Luke squinted, focusing his vision. 

"Tony?" Luke recognized the billionaire immediately. 

"Luke?" Tony turned around, confused by the sudden entrance. He stared at Luke's ridiculous, Emperor-style palanquin setup for a long, silent moment. 

"I thought you said you were cured of your laziness," Tony said, a look of profound disgust on his face. 

"I was. But then I relapsed completely. Expect me to be like this for the next few days," Luke replied casually, unfazed by the judgment. 

As his raw power continued to grow, he found himself caring less and less about the opinions of mere mortals. And given their relationship, he knew Tony wouldn't actually judge him too harshly. 

"Anyway, what are you doing here? I thought you only consulted for S.H.I.E.L.D. on Thursdays?" Luke asked. 

"I couldn't help it. They offered me a compensation package I literally couldn't refuse to come down here and oversee a massive weapons upgrade for this big guy," Tony said, glancing back at the sullen Transformer. It seemed the project was progressing smoothly. 

"What kind of compensation?" Luke was genuinely curious. For Tony Stark—a man who basically had infinite money and resources—what could possibly be enticing enough to make him work on a weekend? 

"Stark Industries stock," Tony frowned deeply. 

"Did you know that S.H.I.E.L.D. is secretly the second-largest shareholder of my own damn company?!" Tony said, his voice rising in disbelief and irritation. 

He paused, then continued, "They offered to transfer a massive percentage of their shares directly back to me in exchange for my services. I couldn't refuse that. I desperately want to consolidate all my company's stock back under my direct control. I am so unbelievably sick of having to argue with that idiotic Board of Directors every time I want to initiate a new project! Those morons can't even comprehend the first bullet point on my schematics!" 

Luke rolled his eyes. He distinctly remembered the hyper-complex, dense, microscopic flowcharts Tony had drafted up just to plan a simple date with Pepper. No wonder the board members hate you. 

"You're judging me right now, aren't you?" Tony narrowed his eyes, accurately interpreting Luke's expression. 

"Not at all, Tony! Relax. In fact, I actually secured a massive new contract for you yesterday," Luke smoothly redirected the conversation. It worked perfectly; Tony looked instantly intrigued. 

"What kind of contract? If you signed me up to be the spokesperson for another ridiculous energy drink or fast-food chain, I swear to God..." 

Luke laughed awkwardly. "No, nothing like that. The Aesir are currently looking to completely overhaul and modernize their planetary defense grid. I managed to secure the contract for you. In exchange for your services, their royal healers have agreed to perform the surgery to safely and permanently remove the shrapnel from your chest." 

Hearing the incredibly generous compensation, Tony—who had been complaining like a disgruntled housewife a moment ago—instantly quieted down. 

"Remove the shrapnel? I admit, that is a highly appealing offer," Tony nodded seriously. "But are you absolutely certain I can comprehend their highly advanced, alien technology?" 

Luke shook his head. "Even if you can't drastically improve their existing systems, simply repairing and modernizing the infrastructure will be enough to satisfy the contract. Besides, Asgardian technology isn't completely incomprehensible; their primary strength has always been raw magic, not complex circuitry. You should definitely take some time to study their systems." 

"Speaking of studying... how is your research on the AllSpark progressing? If you manage to figure out how to utilize the artifact to repair machinery without granting it sentience, fulfilling the Asgardian contract should be incredibly easy for you," Luke suggested, suddenly remembering the powerful cube he had entrusted to Tony. 

However, even for a peerless genius like Tony Stark, fully comprehending the AllSpark would likely take years, if not decades... right? 

? 

Watching Tony suddenly puff out his chest with an aura of immense, undeniable pride, Luke's eyes widened in sheer disbelief. 

"Don't tell me... you actually figured out the AllSpark?!" 

"No," Tony replied matter-of-factly. 

"Did you honestly expect me to completely reverse-engineer an impossibly ancient, cosmic artifact in a single night?" Tony rolled his eyes, perfectly mimicking Luke's earlier expression. 

"However, fortunately for the universe, I am Tony Stark. Therefore, I did manage to make a significant breakthrough in a single night." 

Tony pulled a small holographic projector from his pocket. "Actually, I spent the entire night pondering a fundamental question: does the AllSpark grant sentience first, or does it repair and upgrade the machinery first? To answer this, I meticulously analyzed the artifact's operational sequence on a microscopic level." 

"And? What did you discover?" Luke asked eagerly. 

Tony smirked triumphantly. "I discovered that the AllSpark operates in a highly specific, sequential order: First, it violently restructures and repairs the mechanical components. Second, it initiates the complex transformation protocols. Third, and finally, it injects the 'Spark' of life into the newly formed chassis." 

"Therefore, if I simply initiate the process and intentionally sever the energy feed immediately after the repair and transformation protocols are complete—but before the Spark is injected—I can successfully create a highly advanced, fully transformable machine that is completely devoid of sentience. A mechanical vegetable, if you will." 

"That's a rather morbid description, but it means your upcoming job in Asgard is going to be incredibly easy," Luke laughed. 

"Naturally. Nothing can stump this genius. Once I refine the process a bit more, I'm going to take the AllSpark and find that arrogant little dwarf, Megatron, and make his optical sensors pop out of his head!" Tony raised an eyebrow arrogantly. 

"Oh, he'll definitely be terrified," Luke chuckled. "By the way, I strongly suggest you prepare a formal suit for tomorrow. You and Pepper are cordially invited to accompany me to a truly magnificent, realm-wide banquet." 

"What kind of banquet?" Tony asked, genuinely curious. 

Luke stretched luxuriously, intentionally drawing out the suspense. He ordered the ninjas to gently lower the palanquin to the floor. 

"Odin essentially made a spontaneous executive decision yesterday. He decreed that due to the overwhelming number of victories we've secured over the past year, Asgard requires a massive celebration. Furthermore, during this banquet, I am going to be formally and officially recognized as a Foreign Prince of the Aesir," Luke stated, standing up and puffing out his chest proudly. 

"Oh?" Tony's eyes lit up with genuine excitement. "An incredibly advanced, alien victory party? I absolutely must experience this." 

Honestly, you might be slightly disappointed. In my opinion, Asgardian banquets are basically just overly rowdy frat parties with better mead. Not exactly 'high-tech.' But it's definitely a fantastic vacation spot with incredible scenery. 

"So make sure you dress to impress. You are personally invited by a newly appointed Prince. Do not embarrass me," Luke teased. 

Luke walked past Tony and looked up at the massive, sulking Transformer. 

It seemed Tony had been aggressively lecturing the poor giant robot before Luke arrived. 

"Alright, big guy. Revert to your vehicular form. I'm going to restore you to your proper size now," Luke ordered the Transformer. 

If 'The Bus' remained in its bipedal, humanoid form while being resized, it would easily stand several hundred meters tall and instantly rip through the ceiling of the subterranean hangar. 

"Coulson, clear the area," Luke said to the agent, who had been standing silently nearby, deep in thought. 

Luke watched as 'The Bus' rapidly folded, shifted, and compacted back into its sleek, jet-black aircraft form. 

Looking closely at the newly upgraded vehicle, Luke noticed it looked significantly more futuristic and aggressive than its original, bulky design. It now sported rows of sleek, integrated energy cannons along its fuselage. Clearly, S.H.I.E.L.D. no longer intended to use this vessel as a mobile command center; it had been fully retrofitted into a devastatingly powerful, heavily armed atmospheric battleship. 

Honestly, the battleship upgrade is way cooler anyway. 

Luke watched patiently as Coulson evacuated all non-essential personnel from the hangar, leaving a massive, completely empty space. 

Time to restore it! 

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