Chapter 140: I made a mistake

Dorian pulled away the instant her cold words cut through the air. He had never heard Alyssa address him in that tone before, never heard such icy detachment in her voice.

He gently grabbed her arms and turned her to face him. He held her chin firmly and lifted it, looking into her eyes.

"Alyssa, don’t do this to us," he begged, his deep voice trembling with desperation. "We just came back from a special trip. Let’s not ruin us over what happened down there."

"You should have thought of that before you threw your arms around another woman."

"I made a mistake!" Dorian yelled suddenly in pure frustration, and the sharp intensity of his Alpha voice made her flinch.

She reached up and shoved his hands away from her face.

"A mistake?" she spat back. "I stood right there watching you, Dorian! I stood there like I was completely invisible to you! You didn’t push Elvira away. You held her like she was the only thing in the world that mattered to you!"

"You know that’s not true!" Dorian yelled back, stepping closer, his hands balling into tight fists at his sides. "You are the only woman who matters to me. The only woman I love. Why can’t you just believe me when I tell you it was a mistake?"

"BECAUSE IT WASN’T!" she screamed at him at the top of her lungs, flinging the stuffed teddy across the room. "A mistake is making an unintentional error. You knew exactly what you were doing when you pulled her into your chest!"

A choked sob tore from her throat, and she broke down completely, bone-racking sobs shuddering through her small frame.

​"I don’t care if you felt the mate bond," she wept, hiding her face in her trembling hands. "You hurt me. We just came back from a place where you made me feel like the most desirable woman on earth. And those hands you used to touch me, to worship my body, were the same hands you used to hold your first love."

Dorian’s expression crumpled. He reached out to touch her, but she scrambled backward away from him.

"No!" she yelled through her continuous stream of tears. "I am hurt, and I have every right to be. You are my husband, Dorian! No woman wants to watch the man she loves wrapped in the arms of another female. You’re mine, and I will not share you! I won’t!"

Dorian couldn’t take the distance between them anymore. Disregarding her protest, he stepped forward and pulled her tightly into his embrace, pinning her arms against her sides when she started to struggle.

He tried to kiss her, but she jerked her head to the side. His heart caved in; she had never rejected his kisses before. This made him realize just how hurt she was.

He didn’t force her mouth. Instead, he simply held her as tightly as he could without hurting her.

She fought for a few seconds, pushing against his chest before her energy completely drained away. She went limp against his body, breaking into silent, heartbreaking tears.

"I’m sorry, my love," Dorian whispered into her hair over and over again, his voice raw with emotion. "I am so fucking sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I swear to you, no woman is ever taking your place. You’re my wife, my Queen, the only one who holds my heart."

Alyssa squeezed her eyes shut as she listened to him. She wanted to forgive him, wanted to lean into his warmth and pretend her world hadn’t shattered minutes ago. But her mind refused to stop replaying the image of his arms wrapped around Elvira.

She knew how the mate bond worked. She knew how intense and binding it was. It was the mate bond that had taken Fabian from her in the first place. And now, the same thing was repeating itself with the man she loved more than life itself.

Dorian held her close, gently stroking her hair, her back, whispering soothing words until her tears subsided. He pressed a kiss to the top of her hair, then carefully lifted her chin and brought his lips down to hers.

To his overwhelming relief, she didn’t turn away this time.

He kissed her deeply, his fingers threading through her hair, angling her head to deepen the connection. He tasted the saltiness of her tears on her lips as she suddenly kissed him back with a desperate intensity, her fingers clutching tightly to his shirt.

When he finally pulled back, she let out a soft sigh and rested her forehead against his chest.

"I don’t want to lose you, Dorian," she whispered. "I don’t want to fight another woman for your affection."

"That is never going to happen," Dorian promised her firmly. "You’re not going to lose me. I promise."

He cupped her face once more, lifting her head so he could look into her eyes. "You once told me that you trusted me. Do you still trust me, Alyssa?"

Like she had always done, she would have answered him without any hesitation. But now, after seeing how easily he had shattered her heart, the words stuck in her throat.

"I want to be alone," she murmured softly, turning her face away from his gaze and gently sliding out of his embrace. "Please."

Dorian stood rooted to the spot, watching her with a terrified expression, his heart hammering wildly against his ribs.

"My love..." he tried again, reaching out a hand toward her.

"Please, Dorian," she begged softly, stepping further away. "Just go. Leave me alone for a little while."

She walked over to the corner of the room, picked up her teddy, and hugged it tightly against her chest.

Dorian swallowed hard, a painful knot forming in his throat as he slowly pulled his hand back. She was slipping into her shell again, dealing with her pain the only way she knew how to, and he had to respect that.

He nodded, trying to keep his features composed for her sake.

"Okay," he murmured. "I’ll be down in the study whenever you’re ready to see me. I love you."

He deliberately slowed his steps as he walked toward the door, his heart aching, desperately waiting for her to say the words back to him.

But the silence in the room lengthened. Her back remained turned to him, her shoulders hunched forward around the stuffed toy.

He stepped out into the hallway and pulled the door shut, feeling as though his chest had been hollowed out.

Suddenly furious, he stormed down the corridor, his fingers twitching uncontrollably at his sides as rage surged through his veins. Why was the universe constantly against him? Of all the times for a miracle, or a curse, to happen, why did Elvira have to reappear now?

He needed answers. But at the same time, he dreaded the thought of facing his first love. He didn’t want to feel that treacherous pull of the mate bond again. He would die before he inflicted another ounce of pain on his wife.

As he paced around the landing of the stairs like a caged predator, Pandora hurried up, her face pale with stress.

"There you are!" she exclaimed, breathless. "Dorian, you have to get down there and do something about Elvira. She’s being impossible."

"What happened?" Dorian growled out.

"She keeps demanding to see you," Pandora explained, exasperated. "Jake and Anthony literally had to hold her back while Alec barred the door. I’m still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that she has been alive all this time..."

"That is the least of my concerns right now, Pandora," Dorian cut in, running a hand through his hair. "Alyssa is furious with me. She won’t even let me touch her. I don’t know how to fix this."

"The only way you can fix this is by settling this Elvira situation once and for all," Pandora stated firmly. "As it stands, Alyssa has every single right to be furious with you. You didn’t just hold some random woman, Dorian. You held your first love."

Dorian snapped his head toward her, a deep frown twisting his features. "It was a gesture out of pure shock, Pandora! It was just a mistake."

"It wasn’t just a mistake!" Pandora cut him off sharply, shaking her head. "You don’t hold a woman like that and call it a mistake, especially not Elvira, who is still somehow mated to you."

"Aren’t you supposed to be on my side?" Dorian snarled in frustration.

"You’re in the wrong!" Pandora argued back. "And I won’t support you for hurting Alyssa. She’s still so innocent, so vulnerable. She is expressing her pain the only way she knows how to, and she already feels threatened by Elvira’s presence. You have to handle this."

She stepped up to him, placed her hands on his face and stared into his eyes–eyes so identical to hers.

"Make this right, Dorian," she said. "Alyssa needs to see, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that she won’t lose you to your past."

Dorian stared silently at his sister, his chest rising and falling as her words sank deep into his soul. She was right. He had to do something before the issue destroyed his marriage.

"Fine," he muttered coldly. "Let’s go get this over with."