Chapter 140: Down Payment.

Rewards were given out without much care. The weapons were surprisingly well-made. Some people were split on what to take, Lance being among them. Did he want the fancy sword that resonated with his magic, or that really funky looking ore that despite being the size of a fist, easily weighed more than a car.

I saw Liche take interest in a glove with similar properties to her own magic. Joan seemed focused on an odd pill of sorts. Serenity chose a couple of herbs as her reward. Faust decided to peruse the tomes and scrolls. Ruth found an ingot of refined metal that stole her interest.

Terra got a shovel of all things. Amanda took a rare plant of some sort that was in a small pot. And so on, so forth.

Everyone went all in. Eventually I found myself eyeing something, not for myself or for the immediate future, but for after the event. More specifically, I was focused on a particular group of somethings. And I wasn’t exactly alone.

Eyeing the same thing as me, was Raksha. She was biting her lip, lost in thought. The item in question was labelled as a blood pill. Well, it had a much longer, more annoying name, but that was essentially what it was.

There was a whole bottle of them. The bottle itself sealed with tags, and surprisingly clear. Perfectly showcasing the crimson orbs within. They’d be perfect for Shi… I also saw elsewhere a piece of bone from a certain creature. Perfect for Talia to make a totem or something.

Both would work for me, but… “What are you thinking?” I asked her.

“I don’t know honestly… I’m kind of thinking that if I boost my blood, I might be able to improve my abilities, but I’m not sure that’s how it works. Having a weapon would be nice but I mostly rely on my blood to make my armor and weapons.”

I nod along.

“I’m not an expert, but do you think you could make your blood your weapon?”

“What? That sounds dumb…” She says, but it’s clear she’s not very convinced. “I mean, even if I did, I’d need to figure out a form that fits, right?”

“Probably, I mean, I saw someone with a tank for a weapon.”

“A tank, seriously?” She asks, both surprised and well, there was a child-like gleam in her eyes.

“Yeah.” I went ahead and told her what I knew of Tanya, from the Wizard Gang. I still remember how that tank of hers tore onto the scene and obliterated those monsters we were fighting. The sound of its guns, the steady series of thunks as it loaded new shells. The rumble and roar of its engine.

She was completely and totally enamored with the idea. But in the end…

“That is so cool, but… mm, it’s not quite me.”

“Well, what is you?” I ask instead. “I mean, what resonates with you?”

“Resonates with me?” She asks back, confused.

“Yeah, I mean… your weapon has to have some meaning from what I understand. Diana had her climbing pick that she always had with her that became her weapon.”

“Huh… yeah, I remember. I was there… I remember thinking how cool it was.” She muttered, eyes still on the pills. “So, that’s what you mean?” She finally says and glances back at me.

“Yeah, something like that. Rather, she told me that her parents gave her that pick when she was young. And she’s kept it with her this whole time.”

“Huh… well, I don’t have anything like that.”

“No? What about something you brought from before the city? A trinket of some sort?”

She gave me an odd look.

“Yeah, I had something. Its rather stupid though, and I didn’t bring it with me.”

“Well, I’ve been told that anything that came with you tends to be magical, in some sense.”

She nods but doesn’t say anything. Seconds, possibly minutes tick by as she keeps looking at the pills, her eyes narrowed. I could almost hear the gears churning in her head, the smoke coming out of her ears.

“I think, what is it you want to do most?” I ask instead.

“What I want to do most? That… is a little difficult to be honest.” She said with a sigh.

“Well, if it’s any help, I do believe there is a correlation between some event you had as a child, and what put you here.”

“Is… that so?” She says with a wince. “That…”

“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. I was just giving some advice.”

“No… I just…” She lets out a huff. “I’ve been here almost half a year and well, I don’t feel like I’ve gotten any closer to doing what I want… That is, until being here. Or rather, until that rabbit told us our purpose.”

“Do you really think that’s the only reason we were brought here?” I had to ask.

“No, there definitely has to be more, but… I could totally get behind saving existence and all that, ya know?”

“I can’t say.”

She lets out a small, self-deprecating laugh. “I suppose I can understand that. I mean, like, I think I’ve always wanted to do something like this.”

“What, fight against the end of the world?”

“Something like that. You know, I told you I grew up on a farm, right?”

“Yeah, you did.” I answer back.

“I had a lot of siblings, mostly brothers, the rough and tumble kind. I wasn’t exactly the youngest either, but I was often made the voice of reason amongst our group.”

“Sounds like a bother.”

“Right? So, like… when I was younger there was an incident, and I ended up taking all the blame. Kinda changed my whole life’s trajectory, if you know what I mean.”

“I do. I had something similar happen to me.” I say back.

“Mm, well, my life wasn’t all that great. I did what I could to survive. Worked a lot of rough and tumble jobs. Worst of which was a meat packing plant. Not a great place.”

“I can imagine… I worked my fair share of dangerous jobs.”

“Well, it just all came to a head one day. Can’t say the specifics, but… I’ve always wanted to be a hero. Like those old shows you’d see on Saturday morning, know what I’m talking about.”

I wanted to say yes, but… “I can’t really say to be honest.”

“No? Why not? You didn’t grow up around a television?” She gave me a look that made me think, that maybe, she thought I grew up poor or something…

“I never had time for it. It was always tutoring, or lessons of some sort or another. I never had time for much else until I was kicked out of the house.”

“Oh… I didn’t take you for a rich kid, but… mm, yeah, I can see it now.” She said with a squint. “Explains a lot actually… Anyway, the point stands. I was always obsessed with being the hero, doing what’s right for the sake of it and all.”

“And I guess that’s what led you here?”

She laughed, well, it was more of a bark. “You could say that, but really, I make a terrible hero. What I did, it wasn’t something a hero would do, I could assure you of that.”

I felt the mood shift with that statement. The air changed. I opened my mouth, but…

“Thanks…” She finally said. “I think I know what I need to do.”

And like that, she left. Completely ignoring the pills. Leaving me to stand there confused. With her seemingly deciding she didn’t want them, I went ahead and claimed them for myself.

After everyone claimed something or another, we were escorted out and led to individual quarters with plans to convene the next day to begin the proper planning.

As it was, while we were in the vault, our luggage was brought into the palace, including the items I had left back at our home base, that Diana and company had thankfully brought. So, it was as I was unpacking and checking over my luggage, some of which appeared freshly laundered, that a visitor arrived.

The person in question being Joan.

Joan was in her night attire. Nothing fancy. An older style night gown that was rather conservative. She looked, distracted even as she spoke.

“Is it okay if I come in?” She asked, “I’ll be quick, I promise.”

I went ahead and let her in and settled her at the table of my guest room. I didn’t have much in the way of snacks or treats, but I did have a container of water handy. So, after pouring some water for the both of us, I sat opposite of her.

She took a drink, downing the water in a single series of gulps before pressing on.

“Do you remember what we told you about our first event? Us being me and Liche.” She asked with a bit more fervor than usual.

“A little… a reminder wouldn’t hurt.” I said.

“Well… We were put in a city, with a more, eastern style. Actually, the style looks rather similar to this city. Our task overall, was to look for information as to what happened to the city. That, and to survive for a period of time.”

I nodded along. The memories coming back.

“Well, the city was filled with, soldiers that weren’t quite undead, they seemed almost possessed. And with each passing day they grew more numerous.”

Again, I nodded along, not quite understanding how this all mattered right now.

“Well, we eventually tracked down some clues, and it led to a laboratory that was under the palace. The background being something like a king, or even an emperor searching for immortality… Or something, I’m sorry but the details are a bit fuzzy.”

“Its fine. What about that has to do with now?”

“Well… when we got to the basement, it was designed similarly to the vault we were just in, it’s just that… it was a lot bigger, and more… complex.”

“And?” I asked, pressing as she went quiet.

“At the time I didn’t think much of it, Liche didn’t either. But, the lab had a lot of odd things inside it. Things that didn’t quite fit with the rest of the place, including, well, that giant machine.”

“The Exodus Engine?”

“Yes, that.” She said nodding. “It was sitting near the center of the vault, it looked like it had a lot of energy stored inside, and well, seeing it here, I’m wondering if there’s a correlation between them and the supposed alchemist that led to the realm collapsing, or something…”

Joan seemed bothered by this. Honestly, it was a stretch, but I could totally see the Bureau being involved in some way or another, only… It seems a bit ham-fisted.

“If I remember correctly, you didn’t go very deep, did you?”

“No, we didn’t. Something didn’t feel right, and so, I asked Liche if we could go back. She didn’t agree at first, but… well, I was insistent and she eventually did agree.”

“And I’m guessing it didn’t go well.”

“No… Everyone that went in, they didn’t get out. The few that survived the event from what I remember, I never really saw throughout the event. They’d been holding up in locations and waiting out the timer rather than pursuing the objective.”

“Smart I suppose… but I am curious, how does that matter?”

“Remember when you first talked to, the clan leader?”

“You mean, Liu Chou?”

She nods. “Remember when he mentioned the empire this place was a part of at one time?”

“Frankly, I don’t…”

“Well, I think, we were inside that empire’s capital. The imperial seat.”

I was silent. Honestly, I had no idea what to make of it. Coincidence? Something else? Could the bureau have been responsible for the realm’s collapse, or was it just happenstance?

Did it matter?

“Does Joseph bother you?” I ask instead. “Do you sense something?”

She shakes her head. “I can’t tell anything, my magic, it doesn’t seem to work with him. Which, doesn’t help…”

“But, how do you feel about him? From what you said, and honestly, from what I’ve experienced, you have pretty good instincts when it comes to these things.”

She hesitated. Considered for a long moment, staring at her empty cup. I took the moment to fill it back up, and she brought it to her lips, only to once more hesitate before putting it down.

“I’m worried.” Was what she said. “I don’t know what it is, but it feels like something is going to happen.”

“Do you think we’re in danger, like back then?” I ask.

She shakes her head and looks ready to break into tears. “I don’t know! I just… I keep feeling like we’re walking into something, but at the same time, I keep feeling like we might be able to push through.”

I consider that for a moment. Her words, her thoughts. And…

“Then it’s not hopeless, right?” She looked ready to deny my words, but I spoke again, interrupting her. “I mean, you can’t say for certain we’ll lose, nor can you say we’ll win? That just means we might not be able to handle it as we are, but whose to say that will remain true as the days pass. We’re going to be killing a lot. We’re going to be getting an awful lot of coins, if what Joseph said is true. Even if we can’t handle it now, I’m certain we can handle it soon enough.” I said, though, I wasn’t even sure I believed what I was saying.

She pursed her lips. Uncertain, still worried. So, I hammered it in.

“After all, I believe I made a promise to you, or rather, I have an obligation to you I have to keep, don’t I?” I ask instead. She looked at me with something between bewilderment and awe.

“And even though… admittedly, I did a poor job recently, I can still say I’m doing my very best to fulfill that promise. That is, if you’re still set on following me. Even if, recent events have proven me to be both unreliable, and completely unprepared to lead.” I said.

She blinked and rocked back, as if shocked by my words. She sniffled. And next thing I know, she’s crying. Outright bawling. Wiping her eyes with her sleeves, trying her hardest to stopper the flow. Hiccupping and apologizing all the while.

It was… quite something. I had every intention of simply waiting her out, dignity and all, but… I felt something. A push, a pull, something inside me that asked, was this really the right thing to do?

I thought of Diva. How I met her in the dark tunnels beneath the city. How lost she had seemed. To the wary Grim, after having fought the mistake, nearing collapse with nobody at her side. Like a lone sentinel. Even Diana seemed lonely at times, lost, and the names kept coming.

Talia, Shi, even Liche. Each new name, each new face, each piling on one another and finally… Usagi, that damn rabbit’s words. Or rather, them taunting me with why I was chosen, only to give me a half-assed response.

I knew the answer well. I knew without a doubt why. And yet… what is really the answer? Was it the same for Joan? Liche? Diana?

How, and exactly why… I didn’t know. I couldn’t even begin to fathom… No. Perhaps I could, even just a little. My own experiences were a decent enough metric to gauge something. That, and Morrigan’s own story, though kept short.

Everyone here had something, something in their past they regret, that haunts them. With such thoughts in my head, my body moved before I could even make a conscious decision.

Surprising both myself and Joan, even before I had finished processing what exactly I was feeling, I had her in my arms. For a brief moment, she froze. As if she was made of glass, as if a single disturbance would have her shatter into countless pieces.

And at that moment, I squeezed her. My own cold arms brought her in, bringing her close. Her body was practically frigid. Her nightgown seemingly doing little to keep the night at bay.

All at once she broke down. Clinging closer, soaking my clothes in her tears.

How long did she cry and bawl? How much longer before she eventually apologized with red puffy eyes and excused herself? I didn’t know, nor could I even begin to break it down.

Instead, I felt like, as Joan left, that even if it was just a little, that whatever weight she carried on her shoulders was lessened in that moment. That, now, a portion of that burden was now on me. Forming a kind of, indescribable bond between us.

I couldn’t begin to parse what that meant. Whether or not it was useful to me or not, or if it was a detriment or not. In the end, all I could do was throw myself into bed, my shirt still soaked in tears and drift off to sleep. My mind whirring all the while.

Unconsciously, as I drifted away. I found, that my decision was made. I knew what I wanted to spend my coin on, what I’d do with it. So, just like that, I fell asleep anticipating the next day, which was going to be the start of the end.

Either we’d break, die, or ascend beyond reason. Those… were the only possible outcomes.

I only hoped, that I hadn’t lied to Joan. That… what I said would become reality, even if I very much doubted it.

I just hoped with all my being, that… the worst never comes to pass…