Lord Shadow

Chapter 1930: Man In the Mirror

He look at Sofia in those memories.

She has her flaws and he has his.

But one thing is true.

She loves him, probably more than he ever loved himself

Yet, she also feel insecure.

Love…..makes you see the best of your loved one but it could also bring something ugly from yourself

She has her ugliness of the heart and he has his

Even more so when they both become stronger and stronger. Azief notices this a long time. The stronger he became, the more passionate his feelings

Jealousy become harder to supress.

Love and hatred become magnified.

And in such cases, these emotion is the tribulations of strong beings.

One always wonder why people in high places sometimes make such a stupid decision like they were governed by their desire.

They are not so much as governed by the emotion, more like possessed by the emotions

Even on Earth such example is abound.

Even more so, in the intergalactic scenery.

There was Zeus in the Olympian star system that sometimes do something that would only net him a loss instead of gain but he still does it anyway

When he is angry, his anger transcend the calculation of profit and loss and interest. All that matter is for him to release that feeling out

One could not understand unless they stand at the same height as them.

The stronger they are, the stronger the tribulation of the hearts.

When normal death could not kill you, sometimes the only thing that could kill you….is your own heart

Azief look at Sofia and his past self and he could not help but smile. At times, he frowned. At times, he would laugh

There is joy and sadness, there is laughter and tears, the four seasons passes and the heart experiences the years

And seeing the past, he could reflect on the present, reflecting on the present, he could catch the trace of the future.

He was not that kid anymore.

And his thoughts were also not the same as it was back then

He was no longer so angry at the world

There is no longer such burning fury in his heart

Because he could now reconcile with those memories of the past.

He long has changed from that young boy.

He dares not say he through see love and hatred, but he dare say that he had managed to reconcile all of those feeling when he was at youth

The world is the people.

The people shape the world as much as the world shape the people

A world of wolf. That is what he said under that peach tree in the beginning of his journey with her.

Yes, but wolves are not the only one living on Earth.

The world is cruel, but in every era there would always be an idealist.

The one that bears the light, that tries to bring kindness in a world that has given up on kindness, the same kind of people who uses their hope in their heart to create something real

Those who are hopeful might be chasing empty hope, but some hope are empty in the beginning but only made by whole by people believing in that hope

And in that process, the hope become true.

As long as you have thought, as long as you have a mind and soul, there is always people that would bear the torch of light

Azief had to see through many things before he understand this.

It is not all dark and gloom.

Sometimes persisting is enough

And if persisting is not enough, if everyone hold these light in their heart and lift each other up, then the light would be stronger

Azief is not some naïve doe eyed wanderer of the world. He knows there are terrible shits all over the world

Evil, despicable people that sometimes makes you feel like you lost hope for this world.

But as long as you look, you search for it, you would find it. Just like those who wanted to se the world as a world filled with darkness would find that kind of world, those who seek light would see light

If the world is cruel, and you wished it to be a little less cruel, a little more kind, and you see there is no people that is kind, then start with yourself.

If there is no kindness, then start doing kind things. This “starting from oneself” requires a strong heart.

A true rebel is those who could defy the world and did not bow to the circumstances they are in, and would rather break than bend

A politician, a power player, Azief ahs seen this kind so many times, that he is not shocked at all of the vicious things they could do and all the lies they could concoct.

Because they could bend and stretch.

But to those who wanted to be revolutionaries, those who wanted to change the world, in a world that does not want to be changed, one must have the mentality of betting their lives, and would rather break than bend

There is light even in the most despicable corner of darkness.

Azief did not know how far his thoughts has gone as he look at his past self

This is the promise between him and Sofia.

And then all the memories about his past with Sofia flashes past him. Not only the momentous ones. The insignificant

But now that is replayed back to him, it was this small slices of life that leaves the most trace.

And Azief could not help but sighed.

All the promises, all the hugs and kisses, all of the words all coming back to him

It’s her.

And she was his sunlight for all of those dark years.

But he could see more than just all the highlights.

He could also see how he was acting.

It was different from how he sees himself subjectively and now….where he could see himself objectively

And in that moment of clarity, he understood something about Sofia, he never claim to understood, he always tries to look the other way.

A selective blindness

An unintentional blindness

There were many secrets in his heart.

And there were many burdens in his heart.

And the more secrets he has, the more burdens he has, the more fear for the future he has, he hides even deeper.

Should he blame Sofia for not trying to seek him in those dark moments?

Or should he blame himself for not opening up?

“It is because when you are in love, everything is magnified. The love, the beauty, the ugliness, the uncertainty, and even the fear”

“I fear that she would fear me. She fears that I could not trust her. Amidst all of this, doubts and uncertainties become even more magnified”

It is almost like he is seeing himself from a third person perspective and seeing himself objectively

There is a bitter smile on Azief face.

He wonders why he is seeing all of this.

And what could he learn from it.

If what Odin shows him teach him about many practical things, about dangers that he could face, about the kind of enemies that he would one day fight against, then this part of the past, is teaching him about his own heart

And one own heart is the most complicated thing to understand. Even now, Azief did not dare say he understand

But he got some clues. Looking at the past, and the current present, it is knowing the past, enlightening the future

One could see cause and effect and understood which steps that he had taken that brought him to the current situation

And then the scenery changes again and he sees more things, more stories

After what felt like a million years, he was back. Back on real ground. However, when he look in front of him, he was no longer in a snowy plain

Instead, it was a jungle. Full of green, full of life, colourful plants and flowers all around, the sound of waterfall in the distance shrieking and chirping of life all over

And then he look beside him.

Standing there beside him is Odin.

No longer wearing an armour but only wearing a patched old grey robe with a leather patch on his left eye, looking at him smiling

Looking like a kind old man. From his body, the scent that is emanated is the kind of scent you would smell when you enter a forest in the morning, refreshing and soothing

There is no pressure coming out of him, no aura. Like a common mortal old man. His blue eyes seems to be able to see through everything

Odin look at him and smile

“How was it?” Odin ask.

Azief ponder for a moment.

He nodded and then look back at Odin. He also smiles

“Enlightening, to say the least”

Odin chuckles

“Then, I guess I did something right”

“Are we done?” Azief suddenly ask. There is something he could guess now.

Odin chuckles

“Why? Do you want to spend a few trillion years in fragments of time again?”

Azief smiles and then he ask

“Can you practice in these fragment of time?”

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