Chapter 142: Rent Is Due

The knock on the door continued.

Aria stood perfectly still.

Kelme stood behind her.

Neither breathed.

"Royal Army," the voice called again. "Open up."

Aria slowly reached for the handle.

The door opened.

A young guard stood outside.

He looked at Aria.

Then at Kelme.

Then past them into the tiny room.

He frowned.

"Why do you two look terrified?"

Aria smiled.

"We weren’t."

"You were."

"No."

"You absolutely were."

Kelme stepped forward.

"We thought you were here to arrest us."

The guard stared at him.

"Why would we arrest you?"

Kelme opened his mouth.

Aria stepped on his foot.

"Because we’re... nervous people."

The guard sighed.

"Whatever."

He pulled a key from his belt and handed it to Aria.

"I’m actually here because of your accommodation."

Aria blinked.

"Our what?"

"Accommodation."

He pointed down the hallway.

"You two were listed as homeless."

Silence.

Aria looked at Kelme.

Kelme looked at Aria.

The guard continued.

"You’re guild members. Adventurers. Supposedly working for the army. Yet somehow neither of you has a permanent residence."

Aria raised a finger.

"We have a cave."

The guard stared at her.

"A cave?"

"Yes."

"Do you sleep there?"

"Yes."

"Is it legally registered as a residence?"

"No."

"Does it have a door?"

"Not technically."

"Windows?"

"No."

"Furniture?"

"Some."

"Plumbing?"

Aria hesitated.

"Define plumbing."

The guard rubbed his forehead.

"Forget it."

He handed her a folded document.

"We arranged an apartment for you."

Aria’s eyes widened.

"Really?"

"Yes. It’s in the city."

Kelme smiled.

"That’s actually pretty nice."

"Don’t get excited."

The guard pointed at them.

"We need you where we can find you."

Aria’s smile disappeared.

"For reports?"

"For reports. For meetings. For assignments. For everything."

He pulled out another document.

"And if you fail this operation, your contract is terminated."

Kelme’s smile disappeared too.

"You’re replacing us?"

"Correct."

"With who?"

"Someone competent."

Aria frowned.

"That’s rude."

"It’s also possible."

The guard folded his arms.

"And before you ask, the army isn’t paying your living expenses forever."

He pointed at the apartment key.

"We paid for the first month."

Aria looked at the key.

"One month?"

"After that, get a job."

Kelme frowned.

"We’re adventurers."

"Then go adventure for money."

"We’re currently working for the army."

"You’re currently being evaluated by the army."

He smiled.

"There’s a difference."

Aria didn’t like that smile.

The guard turned to leave.

Then stopped.

"Oh, and one more thing."

He looked back.

"Try not to become homeless again."

The door closed.

Silence.

Aria stared at it.

Kelme stared at it.

Finally, Aria looked at him.

"We’re not homeless."

Kelme slowly nodded.

"We have a cave."

"Our sugar cave."

"The sugar cave."

Aria crossed her arms.

"So we’re not homeless."

Kelme looked at her.

"Aria."

"What?"

"A cave isn’t a house."

She frowned.

"Why not?"

"It doesn’t have a kitchen."

"We have a cooking area."

"It doesn’t have a bathroom."

"We have a bucket."

"It doesn’t have a bed."

"We have moss."

Kelme stared at her.

"That’s homelessness with extra steps. also if they come to find us there, how are we to explain the sugar and the stolen equipment?!.."

Aria sighed.

"Fine."

She looked at the key.

"At least we have an apartment now."

Kelme smiled.

"And rent for one month."

Aria’s eyes narrowed.

"Why did you emphasize that?"

"I didn’t."

"You did."

"I didn’t."

"Kelme."

He looked away.

Aria slowly turned toward him.

"Where’s the money?"

"What money?"

"The money we made."

Kelme suddenly became fascinated by the ceiling.

Aria’s eyes narrowed.

"What did you do?"

"Nothing."

"You’re lying."

"No."

"You’re terrible at lying."

"I’ve been practicing."

"That makes it worse."

Kelme sighed.

"Okay."

He reached beneath his coat.

"I bought something."

Aria stared.

"What?"

Kelme pulled out a long case.

He opened it.

Inside lay two beautifully crafted magical blades.

Aria stared at them.

"What are those?"

"Anti-vampire weapons."

She slowly looked at him.

"Why?"

Kelme’s expression became strangely serious.

"For revenge."

"Revenge against who?"

"Vampires. especially the bitch who turned me into a vampire and made me kill my beloved family, you know the basics stuff.but also..."

"All vampires?"

"Mostly."

Aria stared at the blades.

Then at him.

"You spent our money on vampire-killing swords? we’re not even strong enough to even get close to that revenge plot."

"They’re not swords."

"That is not the important part!"

Kelme closed the case.

"I thought it would be useful."

"You spent our rent money!"

"Almost all of it."

Aria stopped.

"Almost?"

Kelme nodded.

Her expression softened slightly.

"Okay."

She held out her hand.

"Give me the rest."

Kelme didn’t move.

Aria’s eye twitched.

"Kelme."

"Yes?"

"Where’s the rest?"

He looked guilty.

"Well..."

He reached behind himself.

And produced a neatly folded white dress.

Aria stared at it.

Kelme smiled nervously.

"I got you this."

Silence.

Aria looked at the dress.

Then at him.

Then back at the dress.

"What."

"It was the last one."

"It’s white."

"Yes."

"Why?"

"I thought you’d like it."

"It’s not even my size!"

Kelme raised a finger.

"You can shapeshift."

Aria stared at him.

"That is not the point."

"It was on sale."

"You idiot!"

"I thought it was nice!"

"I need money for rent!"

"You’re right."

"And food!"

"Also right."

"And equipment!"

"Probably."

"And you spent it on vampire swords and a dress that doesn’t fit me!"

Kelme looked down.

"I thought it was a really good deal."

Aria grabbed her head.

"No wonder you stayed broke for a hundred years."

Kelme looked offended.

"I wasn’t broke for the entire hundred years."

"You were poor for most of it."

"I had periods of financial stability."

"When?"

Kelme thought.

"...There was a week."

Aria groaned.

She dropped onto the ground.

She was seriously thinking about killing him.

"I hate you."

"I know."

"I hate vampires."

"Fair."

"I hate the army."

"Also fair."

"I hate rent."

"Everyone hates rent."

"And now we have to be useful to those idiots."

Kelme nodded.

"Otherwise they’ll fire us."

"And replace us with someone competent."

"That’s still bothering you?"

"Yes!"

Aria stood.

"We can’t even stay hidden anymore."

Kelme frowned.

"What do you mean?"

"We have an apartment."

"So?"

"The army knows where we live."

"Right."

"We have to file reports."

"Right."

"We have to actually complete missions."

"Right."

"And we need money."

Kelme nodded.

"Very right."

Aria paced across the room.

"This is terrible."

She stopped.

"Why are they even wasting resources chasing us?"

Kelme shrugged.

"Because we’re criminals?"

Aria waved her hand.

"There are worse criminals!"

"Probably."

"Much worse."

"Definitely."

"Why aren’t they chasing the slave traders?"

Kelme went silent.

Aria stopped pacing.

Her eyes slowly widened.

Kelme noticed.

"What?"

Aria stared at the floor.

Then at him.

Then at the army papers sitting on the table.

Then at the apartment key.

A smile began forming beneath her mask.

"Holy shit."

Kelme immediately looked concerned.

"That expression again."

"We’re idiots."

"You said that yesterday."

"No. We’re really idiots."

"What did we miss?"

Aria grabbed the army report.

She flipped through the pages.

The criminal network.

The illegal trade routes.

The suppliers.

The smugglers.

The black-market connections.

The names the army was already investigating.

And suddenly—

It all made sense.

She looked at Kelme.

"We’re part of the criminal network."

Kelme blinked.

"Yes."

"And they don’t know we’re the White Princess and the Charming Merchant."

"Correct."

"They want information about the criminal network."

"Yes."

Aria’s smile grew.

"So we give them information."

Kelme frowned.

"About ourselves?"

"No."

She pointed at the list.

"About everyone else."

Kelme stared.

Aria’s voice became quieter.

"We know criminals."

"We know smugglers."

"We know merchants."

"We know who moves illegal goods."

She pointed at one name.

"And we know there are people doing things far worse than selling sugar."

Kelme slowly understood.

"You’re saying..."

"We give the army the worst criminals."

Kelme’s eyes widened.

"And they go after them instead of us."

"Exactly."

"We could feed them real information."

"Exactly."

"Get rid of dangerous criminals."

"Exactly."

"Keep our own network safe."

Aria nodded.

"And make ourselves look useful."

Kelme stared at her.

Then he smiled.

"That is actually brilliant."

Aria smiled back.

For the first time since they had started this ridiculous operation, everything seemed to fit together.

The army wanted criminals.

They knew criminals.

The army wanted results.

They could provide results.

The army wanted the White Princess caught.

Aria and Kelme could make sure that happened—

Just not to them.

Aria looked at the list again.

Then whispered,

"How did we not think of this before?"

Kelme shrugged.

"We’re stupid."

Aria nodded.

"Yeah."

She looked at the army’s report.

"But maybe we’re useful stupid."

A distant bell rang somewhere outside.

The city continued moving beneath their window.

Guards searched for the White Princess.

Merchants whispered about the mysterious sugar trade.

And somewhere in the capital, criminals were going about their business without realizing that two of their biggest competitors had just discovered the perfect way to turn the authorities against them.

Aria folded the report.

Her smile disappeared.

"Tomorrow, we give the army a criminal."

Kelme looked at her.

"Which one?"

Aria looked at the list.

Her finger stopped on a name.

And her smile returned.

"Someone worse than us."