I'm The Only Psychic In The Zombie Apocalypse

Chapter 135: No Warranty Implied

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-Ding!

{

Centralized Resource Exchange and Distribution Interface Terminal (C.R.E.D.I.T.)

Aircraft Modification, Integration & Resupply Invoice

Platform: NHIndustries NH90 TTH Tactical Transport Helicopter

Designation: Ghostbird

Platform Status: System Integrated

Current Configuration:

Twin Turboshaft Engines

Tactical Transport Configuration

Rear Loading Ramp

Sliding Cargo Doors

Fast-Rope Capability

Rappelling Anchors

Cargo Winch

External Sling Hook

FLIR

Thermal Imaging

Laser Rangefinder

Navigation Radar

Terrain Following Radar

Digital Glass Cockpit

Helmet Cueing System

Three Crew-Operated M3M Heavy Machine Guns

Four Spike ER Missile Capacity

Nineteen-Tube 70 mm HE Rocket Pod

C.R.E.D.I.T. Autonomous Flight Integration

Aircraft verified.

...

Current Resource Status

Spike ER Missiles: 3 / 4

70 mm HE Rockets: 0 / 19

Aviation Fuel: 20%

Requested Fuel Replenishment: 1,600 Liters

Aircraft Structural Condition: Operational

Existing Crew-Operated Weapons: Operational

System Integration: Operational

...

Requested Modifications

Chin-Mounted Heavy Machine Gun

M3M Heavy Machine Gun

Configuration:

12.7×99mm NATO

Aircraft-Rated Configuration

System-Compatible Fire Control

Heavy Barrel

Electrically Actuated Firing System

C.R.E.D.I.T. Cost: 78,000 Credits

...

Chin Weapon Mount Assembly

Includes:

Rotational Weapon Cradle

Aircraft Structural Interface

Recoil Transfer Assembly

Mounting Hardware

Weapon Retention Assembly

Emergency Weapon Release

C.R.E.D.I.T. Cost: 51,000 Credits

Installation: USD 9,000

Labor Cost: 13,500 Credits

...

Full-Azimuth Stabilization Assembly

Includes:

Three-Axis Stabilization

Gyroscopic Position Sensors

Recoil Compensation

Aircraft Attitude Compensation

Weapon Position Feedback

High-Speed Servo Assembly

C.R.E.D.I.T. Cost: 91,500 Credits

Labor Cost: 18,000 Credits

...

Ammunition Feed Assembly

Includes:

Flexible Ammunition Feed

Feed Chute

Powered Feed Mechanism

Link Management Assembly

Ammunition Presence Sensor

Feed Fault Detection

C.R.E.D.I.T. Cost: 27,000 Credits

Labor Cost: 9,000 Credits

...

System Weapon Interface

Provides:

Weapon Status Monitoring

Ammunition Monitoring

Feed Fault Detection

Weapon Health Monitoring

Fire Control Access

System Diagnostic Access

C.R.E.D.I.T. Cost: 63,000 Credits

Integration Cost: 22,500 Credits

...

Autonomous Targeting Integration

Interfaces with:

FLIR

Thermal Imaging

Laser Rangefinder

Navigation System

360° Surveillance System

Terrain Mapping System

Provides:

Automatic Target Tracking

Range Calculation

Lead Calculation

Target Classification

Predictive Aim Solution

Stabilized Aim Point

C.R.E.D.I.T. Cost: 87,000 Credits

Integration Cost: 31,500 Credits

...

Fire-Control Software Configuration

Includes:

Weapon Assignment

Target Priority Logic

Ammunition Conservation Logic

Threat Classification

Engagement Authorization

Crew/System Weapon Separation

Emergency Fire Inhibition

C.R.E.D.I.T. Cost: 52,500 Credits

Labor Cost: 12,000 Credits

...

Chin Weapon Installation & Calibration

Includes:

Physical Installation

Electrical Connection

Ammunition Feed Alignment

Servo Calibration

Recoil Calibration

Sensor Alignment

Aircraft Balance Verification

Static Fire-Control Verification

C.R.E.D.I.T. Cost: 42,000 Credits

Labor Cost: 28,000 Credits

...

Chin Weapon Certification

Includes:

Weapon Function Verification

Feed Reliability Verification

Stabilization Verification

Target Tracking Verification

Autonomous Fire-Control Verification

Emergency Shutdown Verification

Aircraft Flight Stability Verification

Certification Cost: 24,000 Credits

...

Belly Ordnance System

Underbelly Ordnance Rack

Configuration:

Aircraft-Mounted Rack

Multi-Canister Capacity

System-Controlled Release

Automated Payload Recognition

Load-State Monitoring

Aircraft Balance Compensation

Hardware Cost: 58,500 Credits

Installation Cost: 16,500 Credits

...

Automated Canister Release Assembly

Includes:

Electromechanical Release Units

Independent Canister Identification

Release Confirmation Sensors

Emergency Release Inhibition

System Interface

Hardware Cost: 40,500 Credits

Labor Cost: 10,500 Credits

...

System Payload Interface

Provides:

Payload Identification

Canister Count

Individual Canister Status

Weight Distribution Calculation

Release Authorization

Payload Inventory Synchronization

Cost: 46,500 Credits

Integration Cost: 13,500 Credits

...

Belly Rack Structural Certification

Includes:

Mount Stress Analysis

Fuselage Load Verification

Vibration Analysis

Weight Distribution Verification

Flight Stability Verification

Emergency Release Verification

C.R.E.D.I.T. Cost: 25,500 Credits

Labor Cost: 17,000 Credits

...

Incendiary Payload

Napalm Canisters

Configuration:

System-Compatible Aircraft Canister

Automated Drop Configuration

Inventory-Trackable Payload

Quantity: 12

Unit Cost: 11,250 Credits

Total: 135,000 Credits

...

Payload Loading

Loading Labor: 3,750 Credits

...

Spike ER Resupply

Current Inventory: 3

Required Inventory: 4

Quantity Purchased: 1

Spike ER Missile

Electro-Optical Guidance

Infrared Guidance

Fire-and-Forget Capability

Fire-and-Observe Capability

Man-in-the-Loop Capability

Tandem HEAT Warhead

C.R.E.D.I.T. Cost: 217,500 Credits

...

Missile Integration & Inventory Synchronization

Includes:

Launcher Compatibility Verification

Missile Identification

Guidance Interface Verification

Ammunition Tracking

Inventory Synchronization

System Diagnostic Verification

C.R.E.D.I.T. Cost: 6,000 Credits

Labor Cost: 4,000 Credits

...

70 mm HE Rocket Resupply

Current Inventory: 0

Pod Capacity: 19

Quantity Purchased: 19

Cost Per Unit: 1,725 Credits

Total: 32,775 Credits

...

Rocket Pod Reloading

Includes:

Rocket Loading

Tube Verification

Firing Circuit Verification

Ammunition Inventory Synchronization

Labor Cost: 3,000 Credits

...

Aviation Fuel

Current Fuel State: 20%

Target Fuel State: 100%

Required Replenishment: 1,600 Liters

Aviation Turboshaft Fuel

Unit Cost: 3.60 Credits / Liter

Total: 5,760 Credits

...

Fuel System Inspection

Includes:

Fuel Quantity Verification

Fuel Line Inspection

Fuel Pump Diagnostic

Tank Integrity Check

Fuel Sensor Calibration

Labor Cost: 6,000 Credits

...

Aircraft Systems Integration

Weapon Systems Synchronization

Includes:

Chin M3M

Existing Left M3M

Existing Right M3M

Existing Rear M3M

Spike ER System

70 mm Rocket System

Belly Ordnance System

Integration Labor: 27,000 Credits

...

Autonomous Engagement Architecture

Includes:

Threat Detection

Target Classification

Weapon Selection

Target Tracking

Engagement Sequencing

Ammunition Conservation

Crew/System Weapon Deconfliction

System Integration: 36,000 Credits

...

Rules of Engagement Configuration

Includes:

Restricted Target Classes

Civilian Presence Recognition

Incendiary Payload Restrictions

Urban Deployment Restrictions

Emergency Engagement Inhibition

Operator Override

Configuration Labor: 11,250 Credits

...

Aircraft Inspection & Certification

Post-Modification Aircraft Inspection

Includes:

Engine Diagnostics

Rotor System Inspection

Hydraulic System Inspection

Electrical System Inspection

Fuel System Inspection

Avionics Diagnostics

Structural Inspection

Weapon Mount Inspection

Autonomous Flight Verification

Labor Cost: 27,000 Credits

...

Flight Test

Includes:

Ground Systems Test

Hover Test

Low-Speed Flight Test

High-Speed Flight Test

Weapon Stabilization Test

Aircraft Balance Verification

Autonomous Flight Verification

Emergency Return-to-Base Verification

Labor Cost: 33,000 Credits

...

Final Systems Certification

Includes:

Aircraft Systems Certification

Weapon Integration Certification

Autonomous Control Certification

Payload System Certification

Ammunition Tracking Certification

Final Diagnostic Certification

Certification Cost: 22,500 Credits

...

Financial Summary

Chin-Mounted M3M System: 639,000 Credits

Belly Ordnance System: 211,500 Credits

Napalm Canisters: 138,750 Credits

Spike ER Resupply: 223,500 Credits

70 mm HE Rocket Resupply: 35,775 Credits

Fuel Replenishment: 11,760 Credits

Aircraft Systems Integration: 74,250 Credits

Aircraft Inspection & Certification: 82,500 Credits

...

Subtotal: 1,417,035 Credits

C.R.E.D.I.T. Balance Before Transaction: 6,850,000 Credits

TOTAL DUE: 1,417,035 Credits

Remaining Balance: 5,432,965 Credits

...

Advisory

Ghostbird’s existing three M3 heavy machine guns remain crew-operated.

Newly installed chin-mounted M3M has been configured as a System-controlled weapon.

Chin-mounted weapon possesses independent stabilization and targeting capability.

Existing missile and rocket systems remain compatible with autonomous aircraft operation.

Belly-mounted ordnance rack has been integrated with the C.R.E.D.I.T. autonomous control architecture.

Incendiary payload deployment is subject to configured environmental and target restrictions.

Incendiary payload deployment within enclosed urban environments is strongly discouraged due to thermal propagation, smoke generation and secondary fire hazards.

Large-scale incendiary deployment may generate a significant visual and thermal signature detectable at considerable distance.

Spike ER inventory has been restored to four units.

70 mm HE rocket inventory has been restored to nineteen units.

Fuel inventory has been restored to 100%.

Aircraft maintenance schedule has been recalculated following modification.

All newly installed systems have passed automated diagnostic verification.

No warranty implied.

}

I stood in the falling snow and read the bottom of it three times.

[One point four million... and almost half of it was shit I don’t even understand... Robbery. Actual, literal robbery, and I didn’t even get a warranty...]

"Confirm the order." I just ran a hand over my face and sighed.

Then I put my palm back out into the empty air and pulled the Ghostbird onto the ground, and it came out of the Inventory already wearing every line of that invoice.

The chin turret sat under the nose in a smooth grey cradle, the M3M’s heavy barrel tracking one slow arc left to right and back again while the System woke it and checked itself, and beneath the belly hung a long rack with twelve blunt canisters clamped into it in two rows of six, and the rocket pod on its pylon stood full, and the whole aircraft sat a hand lower on its gear than it had that morning.

I walked the length of it twice with my glove trailing along the fuselage, once for the gun and once for the rack, the same as any man walks around a car he has just paid too much for.

Nia walked it once, with her hands in her jacket, never taking her eyes off the turret.

"That thing’s going to make my job so much easier." She said, barely suppressing the urge to whistle.

"That thing’s going to make everything easier." I couldn’t help grinning.

"West, this is Home... Wheels up in two minutes. Twenty minutes out."

-Kzzzt-

"...Right," Leo’s voice came through, and I could hear the fire behind him this time instead of the wind. "Twenty minutes."

A pause went by on his end of it before-

"Fire’s lit. Big sis says come hungry."

"Oh, we’re coming ravenous~"

Tikki went past both of us before the door had finished sliding, straight up the cabin and into the cockpit, and hopped onto the right-hand seat, and sat there with his ears forward and his eyes moving across the instruments one gauge at a time.

"He’s studying," I said, seeing Nia’s questioning gaze.

"For what?"

"His license."

"Mea," came from the cockpit, without his eyes leaving the panel.

And so turbines spooled without either of us touching anything, the rotors came up through their own noise, and in an empty seat the collective rose by itself while the cyclic shifted a centimeter left and held, all of it done by nobody at all, with a cat watching every inch of it.

Nia’s eyes stayed on those sticks the whole way through it, with her jaw set and her hand closed hard around the door frame, because a machine was doing a job that ought to have a person inside it.

"That is deeply wrong," she said, eyes not leaving the cockpit.

"You get used to it."

"I would like it noted that I won’t."

Then the Ghostbird lifted off the construction site with the snow flattening away under it, and I sat down in the open side door with my boots hanging out over the city, clipped the door gunner’s strap to the back of my rig, and let the wind have my face.

[Seatbelt... Kara can have that one.]

Nia dropped down beside me with the door M3M in easy reach behind her shoulder and her boots hanging out beside mine, while I laid the M110A2 across my knee and thumbed on the little system-exclusive AR laser on its rail.

And through the gold-rimmed specs, a small green line of light painted itself out in the world, giving me exactly where the round would land, sliding across rooftops and streets as I moved the rifle, a hundred meters out, then four hundred, then a thousand, correcting itself for the wind and the drop and the helicopter’s own speed without ever once asking me anything.

[Nobody shoots the rich accountant first... and the rich accountant hits what he looks at~... Nah, that came out too low budget...]

The city rolled underneath us in white and grey as we changed altitude, and the northern district came up under the nose, and beside me Nia went very quiet.

The chasm ran across it from one side to the other.

Seventy meters wide at its thickest, going from one edge of the city to the other, a black seam torn through streets and buildings and everything that had stood between them, collapsed facades hanging over its edges and the burn scar spreading out on both sides of it in one enormous ring of soot. From up here you could see the whole thing at once, start to finish.

I had never seen the whole of it either.

"...Nikki," Nia said.

"Yeah."

"You did that?"

"With a sword," I said, and scratched the back of my head. "Told you... I Animed out."

She stared at the chasm until the tail took it away, and then she stared at me, and she opened her mouth twice and gave up on it both times.

-Whirr-

The chin turret came alive under the floor, and I felt the whole airframe note the movement through the seat of my pants.

-Ding!

{

Airborne contacts detected: 3.

Classification: Unmanned aerial systems, rotary, optical payload.

Transmission: Active. Live feed.

Assessment: Contacts are recording and transmitting this aircraft’s flight path.

Engagement recommended.

}

I found them through the specs, three little grey specks off our seven o’clock, holding formation and coming after us at their own patient pace, every one of them with a camera pointed at the helicopter that had just lifted off a site Longbow had called a brick.

[Live... They just watched a brick take off. Nia’s hour is already gone.]

"What?" Nia asked, reading my face instead of a panel she couldn’t see.

"Drones... Three of them, they’re live, and they’re following... If they track us west... well..."

"System," I said, taking a deep breath, very much regretting not straight up going to that fort and relieving them of some extra equipment. "Kill them."

The turret swung, settled, and stopped before-

-BOOM-!

One shot, out of a turret that was specifically designed to throw out a thousand rounds a minute, and over a kilometer behind us the lead drone came apart into three falling pieces.

The turret tracked left maybe fifteen degrees, settled, and stopped again.

-BOOM-! -BOOM-!

And that was all three, three rounds for three drones at over a kilometer from a moving helicopter.

"...Okay," Nia said quietly. "That gun’s terrifying."

"That gun’s the best six hundred and thirty-nine thousand credits I ever spent."

But still, it had only killed the feed.

The fort that has just watched its dead helicopter fly away does not need a drone to find out where it went. The next time one of Harlan’s birds lifts a family off a roof, somebody in that family is going to be asked one question before they’re even strapped in: which way did that helicopter go?

After all, a helicopter has never been a secret to anybody with ears.

[They’ll come... Not today. But they’ll come... Which is exactly why it gets pitched tonight, straight.]

The city fell behind us, and the last of it went grey in the snow as the Ghostbird put its nose west into open country with seventy kilometers of farmland running out ahead and the afternoon light going flat and low out past it.

[Twenty minutes... A fire, a hot dinner, and four people I would very much like to see.]

But the universe must’ve sensed that I was genuinely happy, because the very next moment, my chest radio crackled through the buds.

-Kzzzt-

"N-Nikki-! Nikki, come in-! Please, please pick up, it’s- it’s an emergency, we-"

And my heart sank hard inside my chest before my head had even finished naming Nora’s voice.

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