Chapter One-Hundred and Twelve: Shimeko’s Diary: Am I Bad Now?

Christina's Arc: Bend or Break

"Boy, are you still there, or did my promise melt your heart?" Tsukiko bellowed.

I stared at Yoshime, who moved closer to her desk, and, for some reason, I was afraid of what she would do to me even though she couldn't see or hear me, right? She passed through me, and I sighed in relief.

"Witch, whom are you speaking to? There are no men here, or have you finally lost your mind?" Yoshime asked.

"Oh, please, heifer. Don't act as if I'm crazy, for I was conversing with a spirit who has foolishly chosen to reside within your shitty home for reasons beyond my comprehension," Tsukiko fired back.

The door was closed, which meant I couldn't leave. If one of them could hear me, I could ask them to open the door.

"Well, corpse wrangler, what did the spirit say? Did it tell of my impending victory?" Yoshime said.

"Would you both just shut up because you're both losers! Tsukiko, stop taunting her because she has one of your soldiers here, and she's still breathing," I said, hoping it would force Yoshime and Tsukiko to act like adults.

"Is that so, boy? Well, if you are one of mine, say your name," Tsukiko demanded.

The room went quiet. Yoshime set her gaze on the prisoner. Kinko drew her blade.

Was I about to watch another execution?

The prisoner gritted her teeth in an ugly frown and stared at Yoshime.

"M-may I, Your Grace?" the prisoner asked Yoshime, who nodded.

Then, almost on cue, she started crying again. Yoshime and the guards rolled their eyes.

"M-my name is Rikane Mizuno, my queen. Please tell my—"

"Tell your parents what, Mizuno? Tell them that you were a coward who bargained for your filthy life while your sisters died next to you? Is that what you want: to be remembered as a coward?"

"But I didn't make any deals with them—"

The girl fell to the floor and broke into a crying fit.

"Please!" the girl cried.

…

Is Tsukiko insane?

"That isn't fair, asshole. She's just a child. How can you expect her to follow your warped version of honor when she hasn't lived a life?"

"Oh, shut your mouth, boy. If you don't like it, go back to the future and piss off," Tsukiko said, raising her voice.

"How refreshing. I assumed the Moonbind sent the ghost to spy on me, but since you two seem to be at odds, I'm starting to believe him." Yoshime lowered her eyes to the sobbing girl. "Steel yourself, child, for I have made a deal with the future consort of iron, it appears, which is why you still draw breath," Yoshime said matter-of-factly.

"Don't tell her that I'm a consort, you ass!"

Tsukiko laughed obnoxiously.

"Your future consort-in-law just called you an ass for telling me what his relation to your shitty clan is. Also, boy, anyone willing to bargain with the Court, mine or not, can die. Do you hear that…whatever your name was? Ask to be killed and laid beside your sisters, or I will write you off as a coward. Also, piss off, Yoshime!"

The call ended, and I was trapped inside Yoshime's office—the same office where Trish tried to force me to perform, and my mouthpiece just hung up.

"Well, Your Grace, what are we going to do with Mizuno now? Should we just kill her and be done with it?" Kinko asked Yoshime.

"Piss off, Kinko! My deal still stands!" I shouted, but I knew it was a waste of energy.

"No, Kinko Sagara, for I am nothing if not a lady. The spirit may be a future Iron Fan consort, but a consort nonetheless. As the queen, regardless of when, I must support his request since he provided me with reassurance that my kingdom will not fall to the Moonbind," Yoshime said.

Kinko sheathed her sword.

"I almost feel invincible, Kinko," Yoshime said, smirking.

What a load of bullshit. Feel invincible, Ogre queen. Yours was the only portrait with a golden dragon frame in the future.

Faint sobbing grew into wailing as Rikane rose to her knees, crawled to Yoshime, and bowed.

They both stared; hell, I stared, too.

"O-okay, I'll die now," Rikane said, wiping her face.

You ungrateful shithead. I didn't just sell useful information just so you could die anyway.

I walked over to Rikane and bent down to get a good look at her. There was so much snot that I started to feel worse for her. On top of that, she was biting her lip to suppress something—maybe the harsh reality that she was better off dead in the eyes of her queen. Her eyes were also swollen from crying. If she were sent back with her sisters, she would be killed because she only had a few scratches, whereas the other two were dead.

"You will get your wish, Mizuno," Yoshime said.

Rikane's eyes widened, and she stopped breathing for a moment.

"But I won't be the one to deal the death blow. Instead, you will fight for me moving forward. If you don't like it and refuse to fight, then I'll use you for striking practice. My girls will cherish the opportunity to test their skills on a live dummy. However, if you fight for me and survive for five years, I will give you a position in my court, a husband, and a chance to prove to that pompous voodoo witch that you were worth her time."

Rikane wiped her face and looked at Yoshime's feet.

"Y-you want me to kill my sisters?"

…

"Yes, for your new life requires you to burn old bridges." Yoshime sneered.

That's actually messed up…

"Before you accept, Mizuno, know that this position isn't one you, or your children if you choose to have any, will ever walk away from. Death is your only reprieve, child. Now choose," Yoshime said.

I watched her tears fall to the floor. The blank look on her face didn't give me confidence or indicate what she would do.

If I were her, I'd choose life, and I'm sure your family might understand if they are not as honor-driven as the queen of the dark side of the moon.

Rikane reached out and touched Yoshime's right foot, and then the wailing returned. I could see a tattoo of an arrow missing the moon.

What does this mean?

"Very well. Sagara, remove her from my sight."

"Right away, Your Grace, but what should we do about her tattoo, and which group should we leave her with?"

Yoshime looked at Kinko and smiled.

"Leave it. Let the girls know what she is and her situation. It would be unjust to blindly let her integrate. As for her placement, give her to whichever squad runs the most dangerous missions, so Mizuno can have her honorable death."

I stood, leaving Rikane to her fate.

While she is getting hauled off to wherever, I'll slip out and check on Shimeko.

The door opened. More guards were waiting. They grabbed Rikane and bound her hands.

"What are our orders?" a guard asked.

"This lucky fucker will live long enough to see her homeland one last time. Hell, she'll even help us burn it to the ground. Give Mizuno here to the girls on the scouting team," Kinko said.

I rushed down the hall toward Shimeko's room. I'll worry about Rikane when I'm free from this diary.

***

Welp, here I am stuck behind another regal door. I've considered knocking—I've also considered walking away. What if I can't knock because I'm a ghost—what if I knock and Christina closes the book once I do, then I'll look like a prankster. What if I stopped thinking 'what if' and knocked on the door?

I gently pressed my head against the door. The decorations consisted of fans, but in the future, daggers will be engraved into it.

Maybe they're actually short swords.

"This is so hard," I cried; then I slammed my head against the door. But the damn thing didn't budge or make a sound.

"That actually hurt a lot," I said, rubbing my head.

Then the door started to open.

"What's wrong, Shimeko?" a familiar voice called out.

"The mean ghost wants to come in, Daddy," Shimeko said; her eyes were still puffy and red from crying.

She kept the door half-cracked open and rested her head on it. She looked so small and fragile while doing so. I wanted to hold her, but my hand passed through her when I tried to pat her head.

"Mean ghost—" Shimeko said, looking at my feet. "Am I bad now?"

Damn, I wish I were in the void, so I wouldn't have to feel like shit. If you're bad, kid, then I'm a demon for all the lives I've taken. Maybe I should ask myself that before I judge Christina. But she kills kids, so I'm not as bad, right? Right?

"N-no, Shimeko, you're not bad. If anyone is bad, it's me for not telling you not to do it. So blame me, okay?"

"B-but I wanted to hurt her—for taking Subaki's mommy."

Insert F-bomb.

"W-well, ah, did you enjoy it?"

She shook her head, but her frown and quivering lip expressed more than words.

"Are you mad that one of those women lived?"

She nodded.

"Do you want to hurt her, too?"

She shrugged.

…

"Welp, stabbing that woman in the throat didn't bring Subaki's mommy back, and for all you know, those ladies could have been mommies, too. The woman who lived probably wasn't even a mommy yet. In fact, she couldn't be much older than you."

"Shimeko dear, ask your friend to come in. After all, making your friends stand outside is impolite," Ren, Shimeko's father, said in a honeyed voice.

The door fully opened, and Ren stood behind Shimeko; his eyes were red, too. Shimeko turned to him and buried her face in his shirt.

"Where is your friend, my love?"

Shimeko pointed at me.

"I see. Well, Mr. Ghost, would you care to come in?" Ren asked; then he moved to the side and waved his hand in an inviting manner.

It was the most hospitality I'd ever received in this house, past or present.

"Did he come in, my love?"

Shimeko peeked at me and then went back to hiding her face. She shook her head.

"I'm sorry if my daughter and I have offended you, Mr. Ghost."

"What? No, no, you didn't offend me. I'll come in."

…

I crossed the threshold into Shimeko's room.

"Did he come in now, dear?"