Chapter 59: Big Guns

“WOAH! What the hell have you done?!” Redlia shouted excitedly, remarking at the dwarven cannon that had been conspicuously covered with a large tarp in the center of town.

“Heh, pretty cool right?” Utarou smirked as he showed off the store of guns just below. Redlia stretched out and grabbed one of the uncharged rifles.

“H-hey careful! We don’t have any more of those!” Utarou warned.

Bluelia and Henrek walked passed and let the two squabble, making their way to their shared home on the other side of Dryholm, walking through the main street.

“Are you sure we should leave those two alone?” Bluelia asked, glaring at her red twin.

“I asked that everyday when he was with you.” Henrek laughed softly.

“What’s that supposed to mean?!” Bluelia asked, insulted at the insinuation she was anything like Redlia.

“Ah don’t worry about it.” Henrek smiled, feeling some relief that soon, all the Julias would be back home.

“Come on, let’s tell the girls what happened… I think Hope will want to set up another cot.” Henrek explained as they walked past the cuffuffle

“It’s makin’ a weird fuckin’ noise you know.” Redlia remarked, looking into the barrel of the gun.

“Well it shouldn’t, it’s uncharged… Thank you Henrek for hiding the charged ones…” Utarou bemoaned, trying in vain to get Redlia to practice any form of trigger discipline or gun safety.

She cocked the barrel and looked at the stock, putting her finger into it before yelping and ripping it out, dropping the rifle on the floor.

“What happened?!” Utarou asked, panicked that his latest monster girl had been damaged.

“Fucking think bit me!” Redlia shouted, pointing at the gun.

“Huh? I don’t think it bites-” Utarou remarked, pausing as he saw the gun was suddenly charged.

He looked up and saw Redlia had a piece of her finger bitten off.

The gun does bites.

It bites mana.

Like a certain red mana slime that was now moments away from crushing the weapon.

“WAIT! LOOK!” Utarou said, pointing to the filled mana battery in the rifle.

“Huh? What about it?” Redlia growled, still wanting to smash the gun.

Utarou paused, wondering what the safest way to demonstrate this was.

He was also wondering if showing the maniac that was Redlia how a gun worked could be safe, but leaving a loaded gun was out of the question.

“RHINEY! WE’RE GOING HUNTING!” Utarou shouted, to no response. He looked over and saw Barney and Rhiney on patrol.

“Barney… Can you tell Rhiney to pick us up?” Utarou shouted again, meeker.

…

“Ya sure we should be usin’ one of those?” Barney asked, having escorted Utarou and Redlia somewhere they could safely test out Utarou’s new theory.

“Absolutely, Redlia has been a darling and charged it for us.” Utarou explained, eager to finally fire a gun.

“I still don’t know what you’re on about.” Redlia grumbled, looking at the chunk taken out of her finger.

“Behold, the power of dwarven technology.” Utarou said, pointing at a nearby boulder, and firing.

The force of the recoil dislocated his shoulder and bent a finger out of place as the blast of light burnt through the forest floor and exploded a hole into the large rock.

“Saviour castrated! This is dwarven?!” Barney exclaimed, jumping back in shock as Rhiney let out a huff of annoyance.

“WOAH! I wanna try!” Redlia said, snatching the gun from Utarou and immediately trying to fire it, to no success.

“You need to reload it.” Utarou groaned as his shoulder popped back into place. Redlia grumbled, gingerly placing her finger into the barrel to let it bite it off again.

“OUCH! Fucking hurts like hell.” Redlia hissed, picking up the rifle again and immediately firing, the recoil sending a shockwave through her body.

“Hehehe, fucking worth it though.” Redlia grinned evilly, looking at her hand and wondering if she can afford to lose another finger.

Utarou noted how Redlia hadn’t reformed her fingers yet, and took the most sensible approach, and poked at the stumps.

“THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!” Redlia screamed, punching Utarou, while Barney subtly grabbed the gun and tossed it on Rhiney’s harness for safe keeping away from trigger happy Redlia.

“Wondering why you haven’t grown your fingers back yet!” Utarou asked indignantly.

“Why the fuck would I be able to grow them back willy nilly huh?!” Redlia retorted, crossing her arms.

“Eh? The blue ‘n pink ones can do that just fine.” Barney remarked casually.

“D-don’t compare me to them! They’re probably loose… and well used… Not chaste…” Redlia mumbled. Barney cocked his head.

“Not chased? Guess they ain’t being chased…” Barney pondered, having completely misheard Redlia’s quiet mumblings which only got even more quiet. Utarou nodded in approval.

“Very tsundere.” Utarou declared gleefully, immediately getting punched in the face for his transgression.

“I don’t know what the fuck that means I just hate you.” Redlia shouted.

As Utarou’s face healed a question appeared in his mind.

“Wait, how can we use you as the rifle’s mana battery if you keep losing your parts?!”

“I just need to eat something you weirdo, did you think I just gave up a finger for fucking fun?!”

“I mean that’s what I do.”

“Shut up freak.”

…

In their dorm, Penelope and Pinklia finally got a buzz from the radio. Pinklia jumped back while Penelope gingerly grabbed the receiver, with Emily pressing the button to accept the call on her behalf.

“C-can you hear us?” Penelope asked nervously

“Oh thank the Saviour you’re safe.” Hope gasped on the other side of Penelope’s radio, the audio transmission was fuzzy and the delay was nearly a full second.

“Don’t worry, they’ve been treating us just fine! Honestly the portions are getting a little heavy now…” Penelope explained with her half eaten portion of heavily salted and deep fried unknown carbs and unknown meat.

“I’ve been feeling good so don’t worry!” Pinklia added awkwardly, having been given enough aether cubes to reconstitute herself to her full height and then some, using the spare mass to give herself long curly hair.

“It’s good to hear you’re safe.” Henrek exclaimed.

“Have you found any Golem girls yet?” Utarou asked excitedly into the receiver. Emily waved from behind but let out a silent sigh when she was ignored.

“Yes yes, but more importantly, what’s happening with the plan?” Penelope asked seriously.

“It’s all going ahead… Oh great news! Adam cured Greylia.” Henrek exclaimed gratefully.

“She’s a little… loud…” Hope sighed.

“Grey-chan is very tsundere.” Utarou added approvingly.

“Greylia…?” Pinklia asked nervously.

“Ah well, she’s red now but… Just when are you guys going to come home?” Henrek asked seriously.

“Uhm, well not for a while, but Utarou, you remember that story you told me about?” Penelope asked seriously, about enacting her most sneakiest of plans.

“I told you many things while you were nagging me.” Utarou sighed.

“Well they have food like that one bit, the bit where he took a potato chip, and ate it.” Penelope smirked.

…

After an hour more of talking, Utarou’s radio transmitter began to run out of mana, so they quickly said their goodbyes after catching up.

“I don’t think they’re safe,” Henrek grimaced, noting the odd tone and deflections Penelope kept doing whenever the topic of how long they’d stay came up.

“Utarou, why was she talking about that Dead Book story?” Hope asked worriedly, picking up on some kind of hidden message.

“Pfft, she was just referencing the scene where Light Yagami was eating a potato chip while hiding his shinigami from the police that were actively monitoring him… Wait a minute, Hope I think you’re onto something.” Utarou declared, realizing the coded message Penelope was trying to send him.

“Yeah?” Hope and Henrek asked.

“They’ve found a shinigami and are being monitored by the dwarves to not let us know! I knew they were hiding more monster girls from me!” Utarou declared, smacking his fist into his palm.

Hope and Henrek sighed.