Chapter 200: Uglified

We searched the first hall for a bit, but found no more treasure. I was kind of hoping for at least a runestone or something, even a lame one, but we had no such luck. We found the way back to the portal easily enough, which was sort of lucky, I guess. At least we weren’t stuck here for any longer than we had to, I’d gained some goodies, Kasia gained some levels, all was good in the end.

Except for my dress. That wasn’t too good. I probably should have let Ola cast [Ablution] on it beforehand. It was a mess. It wasn’t damaged, unless you counted being covered in my blood damaged, because then it was very damaged. Hopefully Ola would be able to save it.

When we reentered the door room, Vitek was gone. Must have had something better to do than serve as our backup in case something went horribly wrong. Maybe he helped himself to a second pot of tea.

We found everyone—including Vitek—hanging out in the kitchen. Kuba’s eyebrows shot up when he saw me, but he didn’t comment.

Moryana slowly nodded and smiled warmly. “I like it, Hecate, it suits you. I think it’s a good look.”

“Huh?” I said, glancing down at my dress. “Right. Is it?”

Kuba shook his head. “Not really.”

“How does my face look?”

He scrunched his nose. “Hard to say with all the blood and gunk. How are you still standing? Is that someone else’s blood?”

“Oh, no. I think that’s mostly me. We had a little run in with a couple of very violent demons.”

“Very violent,” Kasia repeated.

“Doesn’t it hurt?” Kuba asked.

I shrugged. “It hurt then, not so much now. I’m more worried about the dress. Unless—” I touched my face, feeling for any imperfections. It was hard to tell with all the blood and the chunks and stuff. Was that my goop? Were those my chunks? I hoped not. Panic shot through me as I felt my hair. It all seemed to be there, but it had to be a horrible mess. The pain and sickness I felt from the mana burn paled in comparison to that realization. I’d drink a hundred mana potions before ever looking ugly.

“I can’t believe they’ve done this to me,” I muttered as I sat down with the rest. “They’ve uglified me.” I crossed my arms on the table and let my head drop on them. “They have uglified me!” I may have wept a little. Now I realized why no one had ever attempted to rescue Bies before. Forget demons—this was the real risk. Why hadn’t the author of that damned book warned me about this? I could handle dying, what I couldn’t handle was being ugly!

And what if that [Greater Healing Nova] hadn’t restored my face? What if one side of my face now forever looked like I’d gotten mauled by a stupid blue flamey demon? What then? I buried my head deeper in my arms and cried more ugly person tears. This couldn’t be my life now! I was too pretty to be ugly!

I have no idea how long I stayed like that, but I got startled by someone tapping my shoulder. I looked up with my ugly, puffy eyes and my bird nest of hair. Probably even an epope wouldn’t nest in this mess at this point. The eyes that met mine, however, filled me with a glimmer of hope.

Ola smiled at me. “Bogumir came and got me. He said you needed me?”

“Bogumir?” I asked, confused. “Why would he…”

Instead of hanging out in the kitchen with us, had he really gone straight through to the portal to Viswa to fetch Ola, just because he knew I was looking super ugly? Was Bogumir… nice? Maybe he felt guilty and this was his way of making up. If it was, and if Ola would be able to save me, all would be forgiven.

“Please,” I said. “You have to save me. I’m ugly! Look at me!”

Ola folded her hands into a triangle and pointed them at me. “[Ablution].”

I felt all the goop melt away from my face and my hair felt lighter. The metallic taste from my mouth was gone, replaced by the taste of mint. I caught a whiff of rose. I wondered.

Ola held out a mirror and gave a single nod. At first I didn’t dare to look, scared of what I might find staring back at me, but I had to. I had to know what I looked like.

I took a deep breath and took in my reflection, then gasped.

I was still super beautiful. My hair was still super beautiful. My skin was still perfect, not a scratch on it.

“Thank you,” I whispered. “Thank you so much. You have no idea how much this means to me.”

“Hey, even the dress is clean,” Kuba remarked.

Moryana shot Ola a disapproving look. “I think she looked better before.”

“Yeah, uh, no,” I said. “I highly doubt that.” I turned to Ola. “Could you maybe… stay here? At least while I’m at the cathedral. I’m sure there’s plenty for you to do around here. I mean, if you don’t mind, of course.”

“Of course,” Ola replied with a bow. “I was wondering why you didn’t request me sooner, I am a [Prime Maid], after all. Could be your [Prime Maid] if my Lady wishes it so.”

“Huh? Mine?”

“Yes, I am capable of binding myself to a master, or mistress in your case. It comes with additional benefits for both of us.”

I perked up. “Really? For both of us? What benefits?”

“It would give you the ability to summon me at will. It would grant me increased experience when doing specific tasks for you, or casting spells. It would also allow me to cast certain spells on you even when we are apart. [Ablution] is but one of them.”

“Sold!” I said, slamming my hand on the table. “Where do I sign? How does it work?”

A scroll magically appeared in one of her hands with a bit of glitter, which I assumed was for dramatic effect. In her other hand appeared a quill, unfortunately without glitter.

“Why no glitter for the quill?” I asked.

She glanced at it, and it disappeared into nothingness. When it reappeared, it came back with glitter. She smiled at me.

I gave her an appreciative nod. “Cool.”

She put the scroll in front of me. It appeared to be some kind of contract. I scanned it quickly, skipping past something about for life, and eternity, then shrugged and just signed the thing with the quill she had given me. Ola wouldn’t trick me into signing something bad or evil. Surely not.

As soon as I signed my name, the letters glowed golden and the whole scroll burst into glitter.

“Nice effect,” I said.

“That wasn’t me,” Ola said. “At least, I don’t think so. That’s just what it does. I think. I’ve never bound myself to anyone before.”

“Well, I feel honored that your first time was with me.”

“You can only bind yourself once in a lifetime. The bond is forever.”

“Oh.”

So this was a pretty big deal and a pretty serious commitment. I probably should have read the contract a little better before signing it if this was a for life type of deal. I probably should have asked her what was required of me as well. Perhaps I’d been a little hasty. Slightly careless, even. On the other hand, this would allow me to be clean forever, so it was probably worth it.

“Do you also get experience when I kill something?” I asked Ola.

She nodded. “A bit, yes. I get experience for everything you do now.”

“And you don’t even have to be in my party?”

She shook her head. “I don’t. And it doesn’t cost you any experience. Whatever you earn is yours. I simply receive bonus experience for being bound to you.”

Seemed like a pretty good deal for the both of us then. I would have perfect hair and clean nails and a dress that couldn’t get dirty, and she would get experience for me existing. This was in fact the perfect deal!

I tapped my chin and wondered if there were other classes that could bind to me. What benefits would I get from them? Could there be a class that prevented your feet from getting wet? Something that prevented you from smelling rotting swamp air? I would gladly sign a hundred contracts and give them all bonus experience if they could make my life just a tiny bit better. That’s just how I was, a helper of people. Sharing. Caring. Developing your talent. Yeah. That was totally me. Selfless to the core.

“So what happened in there?” Kuba asked. “You find what you were looking for?”

“I found a chest,” I said right as Skelly entered the kitchen. “You wouldn’t believe what was inside.”

He clapped his hands to his cheeks and his knees started shaking. "You found a chest?"