Chapter 239

Harmless Animals (3)

Title: Dinosaurs Are Harmless to Humanity

Wild Grylls

(A photograph of a dead dinosaur)

(A video of a dinosaur carcass with its jaw dangling loose)

(A video of a dinosaur attacking with its stealth ability)

(A video of a dinosaur charging with its jaws wide open)

Hey, you bastard who wrote that trending post. What the fuck did you say?

└ Heavenly Demon: Is that what is known as a dinosaur? This is my first time seeing such a creature. How fascinating that it even possesses the ability to conceal itself.

└ SwordMaster: We’ve only ever seen them in illustrated bestiaries too. This is our first time seeing a real one. But seriously, why are there dinosaurs there?

└ Why are there dinosaurs? Lmaooo.

└ Weren’t these bastards around before the Age of Mythology?

└ They were, but shouldn’t they have evolved into drakes or wyverns?

└ Did dinosaurs have stealth abilities?

└ As if they fucking did. There’s no record of anything like that.

└ But there’s also no record saying they didn’t have stealth abilities, right?

└ Huh? I suppose so.

└ Dinosaurs possessed stealth abilities. Noted.

└ No, wait. My common sense is falling apart. Is that actually true?

└ Take it up with the Forest of Four Seasons. Just accept it and move on.

└ All-Father: Oooh...! New research material! New research material...!

└ This old man is getting worked up again.

└ Even if it weren’t him, any scholar would get worked up over this.

└ It’s a freaking "dinosaur." Who wouldn’t get excited? Even I am, lmao.

└ Just once... Please let me touch it just once...!

└ You’re going to butcher them now, right?

└ Wild Grylls: Yeah. I’ve never butchered a dinosaur before, so I’m a little overwhelmed, but I’ll have to do it.

└ Could you put organs such as the heart up for auction?

└ Wild Grylls: I’ll see, lol.

└ Ah, come on, bro. Please.

└ The price will be fucking insane if he puts them up for auction, lmaooo.

└ Ah, lmaooo! How could anyone resist a dinosaur heart?

└ Wild Grylls: There are about five of them anyway, so I have some to spare.

└ PraiseTheSun: Let me know if you ever discover a dinosaur egg.

└ Wild Grylls: Why do you want a dinosaur egg? Are you planning to eat it?

└ PraiseTheSun: No. I want to raise it.

└ Wild Grylls: ;;

└ PraiseTheSun: Honestly, I think it would make a decent pet.

└ Wild Grylls: Wouldn’t it bite you to death first?

└ PraiseTheSun: You’re raising a dragon perfectly well.

└ Wild Grylls: When you put it that way, I can’t really argue.

└ Starlight Princess: Judging solely by its appearance, it resembles a velociraptor... but its stealth ability makes identification difficult. Could you give me one as research material too?

└ Look at her casually trying to claim one for herself.

└ You people are friends with Grylls, so you’re not even giving the rest of us a chance.

└ Can’t we ban this as cliquish behavior?

└ Starlight Princess: If you’re upset, try giving him elixirs regularly. M

└ Fair enough, lol.

└ He accepted that immediately, lmaooo.

└ I’m pretty sure she was sickly and barely hanging on just a month ago. How did she end up like this?

└ Starlight Princess: It is all thanks to every one of you.

└ You’ve evolved into an exemplary Gallery user.

└ Starlight Princess: Shut up.

└ Passing Dwarf: If the dinosaur meat tastes good, give me some too. I want to see whether it makes a suitable drinking snack.

└ This bastard is even trying to turn dinosaurs into bar food. ;;

└ At least he’s consistent. I’ve learned to just accept it and move on, lmaooo.

└ Passing Dwarf: Alternatively, could you skin one and give me the hide? I’m curious whether it retains the stealth ability.

└ Wild Grylls: Let me finish butchering them first.

└ So the drinking snack wasn’t his real objective.

└ To be fair, no one could resist investigating a stealth ability.

As expected, my Gallery post received an explosive response.

Judging by how exponentially the recommendation count was rising, countless people would end up seeing it.

[Don’tAbandonTheHero: Do not upload photographs of the internal organs!]

The head administrator must have realized that too, because she sent me a warning.

She said the video of the dangling jaw could also be considered disturbing content, but she would overlook it just this once.

I closed the Gallery and checked our current situation.

We had finished cleaning everything up.

The dinosaurs—or raptors, according to Starlight Princess—lay before us.

First, I should give one each to All-Father and Starlight Princess.

That would leave three specimens.

The question was what to do with them.

I would store them in the freezer for now, but I planned to butcher one myself.

Before that, I needed to seal the severed neck to stop blood from pouring out.

I used cold energy to roughly freeze the wound shut and placed the carcass inside the spatial backpack.

Since we couldn’t butcher these creatures where the World Tree sapling had been planted, we ultimately had no choice but to return to the shelter.

There must be other kinds of dinosaurs here too, right?

Triceratops, Brachiosaurus, and the like.

There was even a strong possibility that Tyrannosaurus rex lived here.

What sort of special abilities would those dinosaurs possess?

The raptors had a stealth ability befitting "hunters."

I couldn’t help wondering what abilities the naturally enormous species might have.

Of course, I valued my life too much to seek them out personally.

[There is something rather strange about this.]

"What is?"

Cain expressed his doubts on our way back.

The situation had been too urgent for him to say anything when we encountered the dinosaurs, but he appeared to have organized his thoughts now.

[Since ancient times, the descendants of dinosaurs have been classified into three categories: drakes, wyverns, and basilisks. The categories would be broader if we included marine creatures.]

"That’s right."

[Assuming those creatures evolved, they should ordinarily have become drakes or wyverns. Yet they remained unchanged and acquired concealment abilities instead. Something about that feels strange.]

"Hmm..."

His point was more convincing than I had expected.

There was a reason everyone on the Gallery had made such a commotion.

This evolutionary path completely contradicted the prevailing academic theory.

Even Kkobong and the other gorillas had evolved to become more like "people."

"There are sloths that move at absurd speeds and kangaroos that operate an arena. Is this really that strange?"

[Hmm... Perhaps not. When you put it that way, there is nothing particularly unusual about it...]

"It would be better to treat this place as an exception. Even I couldn’t originally use mana. I only became capable of using it after coming here."

[You could not use mana?]

Oh, right. Cain didn’t know much about me.

As we continued walking, I gave him a brief explanation of my circumstances.

I was actually from another world, and my body had originally been incapable of using mana.

However, perhaps because of some influence from the forest, I suddenly became able to use mana at some point.

[Now I finally understand.]

"What?"

[The strangest creature in this forest is you.]

[So this is where the invasive species was hiding.]

I let out a hollow laugh at the term "invasive species."

Was there any expression more perfectly suited to describing me?

At least I wasn’t disrupting the ecosystem.

Invasive species normally threw ecosystems into chaos.

Wait. Haven’t I already caused chaos?

The Gallery was throwing the world into turmoil.

Looking at it that way, I truly was an invasive species.

While I was briefly lost in thought, Cain asked Ludwig a question.

From what I could gather, he was asking whether Ludwig had known my story.

"#%"%^."

"What did he say?"

[He says he knew you were the strangest man here, but he never realized you were genuinely that strange.]

"I can take that as a compliment, right? For your information, that giraffe was also an animal from my world."

The matter of the invasive species was quickly forgotten.

Whether I was an invasive species or whatever else, surviving in this forest was all that mattered.

After returning to the shelter, we began butchering the dinosaurs.

The first task was removing their hides.

I should give the hide to the dwarf.

It would be best to determine whether the concealment ability resided in the hide or somewhere else.

Ludwig and I performed the butchering.

Perhaps because he was a soldier accustomed to operating in the field, Ludwig was also skilled at dismantling carcasses.

Kkobong had difficulty with delicate work, so I didn’t ask him to help remove the hides.

Their heads are shaped so strangely that even skinning them is difficult.

Although it was hard work, we somehow managed to remove the hides from two of them.

I planned to list one entire carcass in the auction house.

Let’s drain the blood first.

As for the internal organs, I could either throw them away or auction them.

Even a single bone would probably command an astronomical price, so the organs would surely be worth even more.

While the blood drained, I disposed of the other two specimens first.

[Wild Grylls: All-Father, would you like me to give you an entire dinosaur carcass? There’s no need for me to butcher it separately, right?]

[All-Father: Yesifyoucoulddothatwouldbegrateful.]

[All-Father: Yes. I would be most grateful if you could do that.]

Even the usually dignified All-Father was so excited that his first message was riddled with typos.

I informed him that the carcass was stained with paint because we had used it to counter the creature’s stealth ability.

Naturally, All-Father didn’t care in the slightest.

He merely thanked me for giving him the specimen.

[Starlight Princess: Thank you so much. Thanks to you, Mr. Grylls, I’ll have the opportunity to experience something truly extraordinary.]

[Wild Grylls: I’m the one who should be grateful. Do you think you could make something like an elixir from dinosaur blood?]

[Starlight Princess: This is my first time handling a dinosaur too, so I’m not sure. I’ll send you an elixir I prepared earlier for now.]

After receiving the elixir from Starlight Princess, I listed the final remaining dinosaur in the auction house.

I didn’t forget to include a note with the listing, telling the buyer to enjoy it however they pleased.

I had no idea how high the price would rise, but I expected it to be astronomical.

If I had the time, I’d auction off each part separately...

But I couldn’t afford to do that. Besides, I felt uncomfortable handling the internal organs myself.

The remaining two dinosaurs already provided more than enough meat. They were quite large, after all.

I slowly began butchering the dinosaur carcass hanging upside down.

Ludwig started working on the other one.

It seemed we wouldn’t have to worry about food for quite some time, but...

[Do you know which parts are edible?]

"I have no idea."

I might have known how to butcher tigers and wild boars, but this was my first time dismantling a dinosaur.

Some people occasionally hunted and ate tigers, but nobody ate dinosaurs.

Wasn’t I effectively the first person in history to butcher one?

I didn’t know which cuts would taste good, so I simply tried to salvage as much as possible.

Their hind legs are well developed. Maybe they have plenty of meat there?

It might be nothing but muscle. If so, it would probably be extremely tough.

"$%%M."

"You never imagined you’d live long enough to butcher a dinosaur? Neither did I."

Ludwig muttered beside me. I felt exactly the same.

In any case, after putting in considerable effort, we successfully butchered both dinosaurs.

Surprisingly, their hindquarters yielded the most meat.

Their hips were probably well developed because they had to support those long tails.

The most astonishing cut, however, was the neck.

It was absurdly tough.

I should have expected as much after seeing how thick their necks were, but that meat was inedible even if someone gave it away for free.

"Okay. Now that we’ve separated everything..."

I picked out the most tender-looking piece among the butchered meat.

If I compared it to pork, it would be the loin.

I planned to taste it.

"Kyuuu!"

"Ppiiii..."

Perhaps because they had seen the neatly butchered meat, Wonmo’s and Tyrano’s eyes sparkled.

Their gazes practically declared that they would devour all of it the moment I gave them permission.

But not yet.

I told them to wait.

"No. We need to see how it tastes first."

[What if it tastes bad?]

"Then we’ll make it taste good."

Aside from the neck meat, which was so tough that even my dagger struggled to cut it, I intended to eat everything.

We consumed mountains of food every day. Throwing any of it away would be a luxury.

Moreover, eating it raw could make us sick.

It absolutely had to be thoroughly cooked.

Sizzle—

Instead of placing it in a frying pan, I skewered it on the tip of my dagger and roasted it over the campfire.

This was only meant to be a taste test.

Judging by the fat dripping from it, it looked rather appetizing.

"Whoo. Whoo."

Before long, the dinosaur meat was thoroughly cooked and steaming.

After checking for any undercooked spots, I took a bite.

Chew—

But it didn’t chew easily.

It was tougher than expected.

Still, it wasn’t completely inedible, so I managed to bite off a piece.

The moment I bit into it, juice poured from the meat.

It was delicious—

"Pfft?!"

...but it had a rather powerful gamey odor.

It was even stronger than when I had eaten tiger meat.

I normally wasn’t particularly sensitive to gamey smells, so that said everything.

"$%%?"

"I-It tastes good, but it definitely needs proper preparation."

I barely managed to answer Ludwig.

If we removed the gamey odor and tenderized the meat, it would be perfectly edible.

We can marinate it. But to remove that smell...

Red wine would be ideal.

How did I know?

When you ate alone long enough, you naturally learned such things.

Ordinarily, soaking meat in water would be enough, but that applied to normal meat.

Since this came from a wild animal(?), using red wine to remove the odor would be better.

I can ask the dwarf, right?

I could give him the hide and ask him while I was at it.

After selecting the cuts suitable for cooking, I stored everything else in the freezer.

[Wild Grylls: Hey, Mr. Dwarf. You there?]

[Passing Dwarf: I was modifying my brewing machine. What do you want?]

Next, I contacted the dwarf.

He replied immediately.

[Wild Grylls: Do you have any red wine suitable for marinating meat?]

[Passing Dwarf: Why not just drink ordinary red wine while eating the meat? What a waste of wine.]

That was an extraordinarily dwarven answer.

I had expected it.

[Wild Grylls: I have something to give you, and I figured I might as well ask an expert. Didn’t you say most dwarves are experts on alcohol?]

[Passing Dwarf: You know your stuff. Fine, lol. I’ll bring some over shortly.]

A short while later, the now-pleased dwarf listed the goods for trade.

I listed the dinosaur hide in exchange and sent him another message.

[Wild Grylls: The dinosaur meat is tough and has a gamey smell. I heard red wine is good for removing that odor.]

[Passing Dwarf: Isn’t there red wine in the auction house?]

[Wild Grylls: Did you see the post I uploaded earlier? I’ll give you a dinosaur hide, so find out what you can make from it. For reference, this bastard could turn invisible.]

[Passing Dwarf: You’re not asking me to make you an invisibility cloak, are you?]

[Wild Grylls: I am if you can, lol.]

[Passing Dwarf: Then I’m using it first. I’m going to spy on the women’s bath, lol.]

[Wild Grylls: You lunatic, lmaooo.]

[Passing Dwarf: I’m joking. I’ll have to call a friend of mine. Leatherwork isn’t my specialty.]

[Wild Grylls: Yeah. Oh, and I’ll give you some acorn jelly later. Dip it in soy sauce, and it makes an incredible drinking snack.]

[Passing Dwarf: Knew I could count on you.]

Naturally, I wasn’t referring to golden-acorn jelly.

I had personally experienced the catastrophe that caused.

After exchanging goods with the dwarf, I inspected what he had sent.

One bottle would’ve been enough.

That dwarf had given me three whole bottles.

What a generous bastard.

All that remained was to marinate the meat for dinner.

For lunch, I planned to eat whatever was convenient.

I wonder how the auction is going.

Suddenly curious, I checked the auction house.

News that I had killed a dinosaur must have spread widely, so its price was surely—

[Raptor Carcass: 15,000 Gold]

"Whoa."

It had already reached fifteen thousand gold.

That was approximately 150 million won.

The price would probably climb even higher.

It seemed I wouldn’t have to worry about money for quite some time.

"Kyuu! Kyuuu!"

"Ppiiii!"

"Okay, okay."

First, I had to feed the children.

I barely managed to pry the two of them off as they clung to my legs and tried to climb me.

***

While Grylls peacefully prepared everyone’s meal—

"Hurry up and give me more money! I need to top up my account!"

"Aaaaaagh! Which bastard placed another bid?!"

"We absolutely cannot lose this! It’s something we may never obtain again!"

An enormous storm was sweeping through the academic world.