Season 5: Chapter 150. Patch Notes (3)

Some said this online.

[Jet-Pumped is not pay-to-win but pay-to-live]

The game was not dependent on spending money to win, but spending to survive. This meant that in Jet-Pumped, defeat was death. In this game, defeat was on a completely different level of bad compared to other games. In the comic fighting game genre, being comic was a very one-sided concept for only the winner.

Dancing in front of a corpse, performing a defecation motion, all manner of tea-bagging was legal in Jet-Pumped because it was funny. Here, tea-bagging wasn't just legal, it was also for sale. Dances and defecation motions were all emotive items.

The game's motto was to give the winner extreme pleasure and the loser an extremely dirty feeling. Imagine if it felt like one lost because they hadn't spent enough money? They would have no choice but to spend just to avoid feeling that dirty feeling!

The real problem started here.

[This is now a game where you have to pay real money to break even LOL]

This wasn't an RPG game. It was a competitive fighting game. Ultimately, it was a relative evaluation. One had to spend more than the opponent to win. In the end, even after spending money, satisfaction wasn't fulfilled. Players found themselves spending just to stay in place.

That was why it was pay-to-live. Even the balancing had gone so haywire that jets costing several times more couldn't beat cheap free jets. User complaints piled up, and protests flooded the developers.

The developers were too unconcerned.

"You're just bad at the game."

It wasn’t a balance problem. The users who were bad at the game were the problem. With this, their unpopularity levels broke through the sky.

At G-Star, they'd set up an event called Defeat the Developers, and the unprecedented proposition of giving patch rights to whoever won. It just so happened that the first person to beat the developers was the rookie streamer Almond, who didn't know about Jet-Pumped at all.

[#1. BREAKING NEWS! Finally using the patch rights!!]

Jet-Pumped Garden was usually filled only with curses directed at the developers. There, an unusual trending post appeared.

==== ====

From the explanation, apparently up to 1 Jet can be changed however they want?

Damn Almond is actually going to change it however he wants...

==== ====

— fr?

— Send coordinates

— This nutty guy got the patch rights when and is only using them now?

— But this guy doesn't know anything??

└ That's the point lmaooo

└ Sigh...

— Suddenly?

— The timing is legendary lmaooo

└ fr the hero has appeared lmaooo

└ The archery genius appeared when Lightning Bow, the unprecedented insane Jet, came out

The Jet-Pumped Garden reacted intensely to Almond's reappearance. It quickly became clear why by looking at the trending list.

[#2. Lightning Bow vs US aircraft carrier, who wins?]

[#3. Event where you shoot Lightning Bow at the developers on targets. Upvote if you want it]

[#4. LightBow is a Jet made because the developers wanted to stop patching the game]

[#5. ??? Wow~ you still play Jet-Pumped even after seeing LightBow? You're tough, so tough~]

[#6. ??? Oh we need to go make a LIL RPG so please log off lmaooo]

Lightning Bow was the most recent all-time overpowered Jet. It caused massive complaints for performing too well for the price. This patch note had buffed (under the guise of being adjusted) Lightning Bow rather than nerfing it, which was why users packed the Garden.

[Knew when they nerfed range resistance lmaooo]

[I understand ranged is good for newcomers but there's a limit ㅡㅡ]

[Not a fighting game anymore just]

[LightBow is LightBow but piercing attribute << this is insane]

They were less like community users and more like protesters now. Right when all these protesters gathered, Sang-Hyeon happened to announce he'd be adjusting a patch. This was like piles of dry wood soaked in gasoline with Sang-Hyeon standing there holding a match.

"This... I didn't know it was this intense?"

Ju-Hyeok was surprised looking at the Jet-Pumped Garden. He'd simply fit it into today's schedule, but it had ended up perfectly timed. If he'd known it was burning this hot, he would have reconsidered.

"What do I do? We don't have time to get caught up with these people."

The reality was they'd have to go back into Platform War practice soon anyway. They had no time to deal with getting caught in an issue like this.

"Wait. Of all things... a bow!?"

Of all things, the currently problematic Jet was a bow user. Jet-Pumped users were full of hope.

— Almond is good with a bow so he'll think it's OP and nerf it LOL

— The moment he plays the bow he'll reduce every stat lmaooo

— fr the developers are so lucky

"They're way too naive."

Ju-Hyeok was bewildered. What on earth was this flower-field purity like someone from a manga? Now he understood why they kept playing Jet-Pumped while complaining about it. These people were flower-brained!

"Why would that guy touch it only after actually playing the game!?"

They actually expected balance patches from a complete stranger. It was astounding.

'Sang-Hyeon said he wouldn’t do anything.'

This patch was just a buildup for the ad. Sang-Hyeon had agreed to change the appearance to something cute and playfully move on. However, he hadn't decided the specifics yet.

Ju-Hyeok felt uneasy here.

'No. No. He said he'd only touch the appearance.'

Sang-Hyeon, among countless Jets, touched Lightning Bow. He opened Paint and typed some text instead of a picture.

[Damage x 500]

Ju-Hyeok's eyes went wide. "F-five... hundred!?"

Sang-Hyeon was doing the complete opposite of what was previously agreed. On piles of wood and oil cans, Sang-Hyeon wasn't throwing a match. He was firing a flamethrower.

“Bwahahahaha!” He laughed with a completely unclouded smile.

'What are you doing...?'

Ju-Hyeok was momentarily dumbfounded. He thought Sang-Hyeon was doing this because he didn't know the situation at all and frantically typed a message.

'Hm?'

Ba-ba-ba-ba-bam~!

A large donation that hadn't been seen in a while arrived.

[JetPumpedGreatAgain! has donated a whopping 1,000,000 won!]

[Could we have a brief conversation?]

Ju-Hyeok's hand, which had been typing, stopped.

Despite the whopping 1,000,000 won donation, Sang-Hyeon didn’t respond. He just sat there with [Damage × 500] displayed in Paint. Then, another donation came in.

Ba-ba-ba-ba-bam~!

[JetBossIsItYouAgain has donated a whopping 2,000,000 won!]

[Mr. Yu. Just pause. Let's resolve this through conversation.]

— Wow

— What??

— lmaooooo

— Someone recommend a novel: He Became the Alpha Male of the Jet-Pumped World...

— lmaooooo

— Wow the Jet uncles' firepower??

— They came to cause chaos for a reason lmaooo

The amount had doubled. Even existing Almond viewers were all shocked. Ju-Hyeok also adjusted his glasses and straightened up. Something about large sums of money made one want to be respectful.

"Ins-insane... They said it was a terrible pay-to-live game. The big spenders are on a different level!?"

Compared to what they poured into Jet-Pumped, the cost of persuading patch rights was nothing. Enormous donations started flooding in. Not just big spenders, but Jet-Pumped users all started firing donations.

'He's determined what the persuasion tool needs to be.'

At first, they'd flooded the chat with threats, but realized that wasn't working on the target. Eventually, they adopted the method most natural to them. For people who'd always been doing pay-to-win, what was most natural?

Ba-ba-ba-ba-bam~!

[JetUncle has donated 300,000 won!]

[Long live Lightning Bow~ long live our country~]

[JetPumpSponsor has donated 500,000 won!]

[Talk to us ^^]

[JetFoot has donated 500,000 won!]

[A thoughtlessly thrown stone kills the little Jet frogs!]

'Money... money is falling from the sky!'

Money was pouring in. Donations were originally about momentum. Once the 1,000,000 won ceiling was broken, that day's broadcast would often become a day of sweeping money. The other side frantically continued to fire donations. The momentum kept strengthening.

[RubySword has donated a whopping 1,000,000 won!]

[What! Let our baby Almond do as he pleases!]

This couldn't help but affect Almond's viewers too.

— lmaooooooooooo

— Counter-fire lmaooo

— Great Empress Ruby

— The true channel owner says this money isn't enough to make the change~

[BigSon has donated a whopping 1,000,000 won!]

[In my view, that's still not enough money to refuse]

— Breaking: interest rates surge

— Wow

— The brothers came to throw Almond a money party

— The Fed chair has appeared

— lmaooooo

Ding.

[EggPlant has donated 3,000 won.]

[If you want patch rights, fire. With the expensive kind.]

— lmaooooo 3,000 won lmaooo

— Patch rights lol

— lmaooooo

— At least I know the hegemony isn't yours

Almond's viewers started defending his patch rights. From their perspective, they also had a stake here. Some random crowd suddenly appearing and telling them what to do understandably didn't sit well. They also chose the best way to show their influence by using money.

'Money... money!'

Ba-ba-ba-bam!

Ba-ba-bam!

While listening to the celebratory boom sounds, Ju-Hyeok's eyes drifted to the disappointing ad revenue sheet. He had no choice but to take his hands off the keyboard and acknowledge it.

"Great... Sang-Hyeon..."

It was the Lord’s grace.

***

EggPlant's words became the starting shot announcing the war.

Ba-ba-ba-bam!

Ba-bam~!

Ba-ba-ba-ba-bam~!

Countless big spenders stepped forward and started firing cannons.

— Wow

— Fire!

— Fire the cannons!

— Kill! Kill!

— lmaooo I'm enjoying all of this

— Wow it's a money party lmaooo

— War is money yeah yeah

Almond's existing viewers naturally egged on the fight and provoked the Jet-Pumped users.

— Jet-Pumped scared?

— Scared?

— Breaking: Jet-Pumped users' 3rd nuclear test provocation

— Is that all you've got?

— Is it over? Ruby Princess can go all day~

Who were Jet-Pumped users? They had a strong resolve to solve everything in the game world with money. Their pride could not allow losing in monetary amounts in a free broadcast.

Ba-ba-ba-ba-bam!

[JetBossIsItYouAgain has donated a whopping 1,000,000 won!]

Ba-ba-bam~!

[PetJumpd has donated a whopping 1,500,000 won!]

Millions of won flew in wildly.

"Now, now..."

The war of firing money from both sides reached its peak. For Sang-Hyeon, some threshold had been crossed. A certain amount collected could no longer possibly be refused.

"I'll end this war."

Sang-Hyeon generously waved and erased [Damage × 500] from Paint.

'Erase, erase.'

— Oh

— Oh oh oh

— Oh...

— Thank you...

Jet-Pumped users reacted as if greeting the representative of God himself. After that, he started changing the bow's appearance in Paint the way he'd originally planned. The arrowhead became almond-shaped, and the flashy bowframe became a relatively simple design. Lightning Bow had somehow become Nuts Bow.

"I'll change it like this."

— ?

— ???

— ?

— No please just nerf it!!

— Just the appearance???

— This is insane it's a skin patch lmaooo

— Nerf nerf nerf

— Nerf it! Nerf it!

Calls for nerfing the bow started surging up. Of course, Sang-Hyeon had no intention of listening. Touching the balance would inevitably result in criticism no matter what. He had to end it here. To do that, a negotiating table had to be set up again.

"Oh, forgot. The Nuts Bow has this function."

[Upon each hit, the almond on the arrowhead explodes, triggering a nuclear chain reaction dealing 7,850 x damage]

— lmaooooooooooo

— LOL

— Omg

— lmaooooo

— The negotiations just aren't happening~

— lmaooooo

— What was the plausible setup in front for LOL

— Oh maintaining? Damage 5,000 x?

— The numbers have a madness to them

In the end, the Jet-Pumped users, marveling at Almond's aesthetic sense, begged for the patch to just change the design and nothing else.

— Looking at it now the bow is too pretty~

— I'm keeping that bow

— Something about the bow looking less scary makes me feel like I could try it somehow

"Everyone seems satisfied. The patch will just change the appearance like this. If an opportunity comes, I'll play the game again sometime."

In the end, Jet-Pumped's big spenders had gathered and spent an enormous sum for a world where nothing had actually changed.

[Streamer Donation Today Rankings]

1st. Almond

2nd. CutiePie

3rd. Donuts

4th. Miho

5th. Zelo

For the first time, Almond achieved the number one donation ranking within the platform.