Chapter 753: Winter View Below

[Mo Jing]

The vast desert smoke seemed everlasting, as she rode a fading West Screen chestnut horse through the golden shimmering sandy world at a leisurely pace, stroking a few strands of white hair, she said,

"Chen Donghe, I have grown old."

The middle-aged man descended with the wind, his face was also not young, but still displayed patience and gentleness. Chen Donghe twisted her hair, looking at those scattered white strands, he whispered softly,

"I'll pluck them out for you."

"There's no need, I'm afraid of the pain."

Li Jingtian clutched the reins with a pale hand, as Chen Donghe led the aged horse. She sat there in a daze, the yellow sand swirling all around, turning them into two small specs against the landscape—one large, one small.

One:

Li Jingtian often had a dream when she was young, in which she was extraordinarily superior, walking amid water and fire, commanding thunder and lightning, flying at the pinnacle of a stormy cloud with her hands clasped behind her. This dream had given her hope until it was shattered at the age of six.

"Lacking a Spirit Aperture."

Later, Li Jingtian came to understand that this was more fatal than any rejection of disposition or talent. It simply wasn't possible; she had no chance to prove herself, so she rarely slept deeply again, fearing to return to that unrealistic dream.

Of course, that dream never came again.

Later, Li Jingtian lost her father, and her elder brother Li Xuanxuan took charge of home affairs. When Li Xuanxuan asked her if she could marry Chen Donghe, Li Jingtian remembered that there was such a person.

At that time, Li Jingtian was looking out the window on a clear morning, dressed in her favorite white gown, smiling brightly and cheerfully; of course, she knew how adorable she was.

She was no longer a little girl. Every clever beauty, upon reaching the proper age, comes to understand her own power from the astonishment in others' eyes. Perhaps the first few times relying on her beauty might fail, but after learning from those experiences, she would only grow stronger.

Perhaps those boys would eventually wake up, but at the age of around ten, she was the ruler.

Li Jingtian had high natural talent in this respect; she knew as long as she remained calm as still waters, her innate beauty and pleasing almond eyes would conquer her foes for her, even a respectful young man approaching her.

'If he fears the power of my household, all the better.'

The young man's gaze flitted, his yearning relentless. Li Jingtian wielded this power for the first time, as natural as if she was born with it, effortlessly.

He wasn't ugly, in fact, somewhat imposing. A girl is inevitably a bit vain when steadfastly adored by a young man. Attracting attention is natural, whether it lasts or not is another matter.

'Chen Donghe.'

Li Jingtian's mood flickered for a moment—he was a nobody, easily forgotten and cast aside by her.

Two,

The desert at dusk is fitting for dreams. The various colors of Spiritual Energy in the sky burst forth with rainbows, and many cultivators shuttle through the air, as she lies quietly on the warm sands.

'Chen Donghe.'

After her father's death, as expected, her big brother became the Family Head. Li Jingtian felt he had become a stranger; Li Xuanxuan, once seated in that position, seemed to turn cold suddenly. The usual smiles disappeared, only anxiety and coldness showed on his face now.

He still called her sister as usual, but Li Jingtian could sense something off:

"He no longer cares about anything… he doesn't even care about himself… how could he care about me as his sister."

In the hazy confusion, everything in front of her clarified gradually. Her second brother Li Xuanling's fierce eyes and brows yanked up the young man abruptly, his strong arm's veins popping, as if he were about to tear him apart in the next second.

Li Jingtian was unwilling to remember, turning over, the dream blurred then became clear again—it was her brother Li Xuanling.

Li Xuanling was holding a scroll in his hands, his face, which bore resemblance to Li Tongya, was composed. Dressed in white, he sat quietly in the forest, reading the material in his hands and seeming to ponder meticulously.

Li Jingtian called out, but another figure emerged from the forest behind her, only seven or eight years old yet with a mature expression, clutching her hand tightly.

Li Jingtian looked down and heard the child's fierce voice,

"If it truly comes to that, I'll kill you first before I kill myself!"

Li Jingtian felt a tightness in her chest as the two figures before her vanished, and a cold dead snake fell down, landing on her chest, the icy and slimy sensation shocking her into fright.

She woke up quickly, her throat aching, dizzy and thirsty. Chen Donghe was quietly meditating in a seating position next to her. Li Jingtian then realized:

"My life… has pretty much run its course."

Three,

The wind in the desert howled, and Li Jingtian always asked Chen Donghe to take her around, yet she had little interest in sightseeing and often dozed on the camel's back.

She remembered carrying that blood-stained blanket to see her mother, deliberately choosing the time to run into her big brother Li Xuanxuan. The corner of the blanket in her arms, as if vengeful, exposed the bloody edge.

Li Xuanxuan dared not look at her, pausing slightly on the spot as if he were about to leap up, while she quickly gathered up the blanket guiltily and hurried inside.

Sometimes, Li Jingtian was somewhat dissatisfied with him, but she was ultimately powerless. She knew that her older brother Xuanxuan and her younger brother Xuanling were quite different, and in some aspects, she had to fill in the gaps.

Yet, seeing Li Xuanxuan restless on the main seat day and night, Li Jingtian could no longer feel any resentment towards him. As time passed, even that little bit of vengefulness dissipated, leaving only a sense of pity for him.

"Not to mention Yuanxiu being here... Big brother is better suited after all, let little brother pursue his cultivation."

That's what she thought at the time.

Back then, she watched Yuanyun carefully. This child, too, had no Spirit Aperture, was just as proud. Qinghong was poking dates with a bamboo stick alongside him. The siblings sat under the tree, giggling. Li Qinghong sat quietly beside them, feeling content.

Soon, Qinghong rode the Thunderbolt, wielding lightning, and became the family's pillar. Yuanyun trembled with fear, careful not to make a single mistake under the watchful eyes of the clan elders, and his smile disappeared.

Li Jingtian actually felt a tightness in her chest, especially after hearing that vow from Li Qinghong that amazed everyone in the family:

"I have no heart for love and do not wish to be someone's wife or concubine... Though a daughter and not a son, I too possess the ambition to refine the Six Wheels and the Refining Divine Ability, to pursue the immortal path, expel demons, and defend our realm and people..."

She mulled over these words twice and felt extremely uneasy.

Four,

As for Chen Donghe?

Li Jingtian dreamed for a long time before finding him at the edge of her vision - his cold gaze and the white robe abandoned on the ground. Li Jingtian felt irritated and thought to herself coldly:

"What's the point?"

She never felt that she would, like in the stories, fall deeply in love because someone gained something from her; she knew she was stubborn and would never bargain for what had already been taken from her.

She was smart and unwilling to submit to others. His unrequited actions, in fact, didn't help at all. She understood his intentions but had no interest in this game of conquest and submission.

The more she ignored it, the more she could sense his uncontrollable passion, which slowly became something she could manipulate at will.

Li Jingtian had tried to accept this, but the outcome was ice cold. She could only mutter to herself in a hushed tone:

"I'm sorry... I just can't."

But Chen Donghe was powerful, a simple move from him could crush her to bits. This inequality made her increasingly calm and increasingly unable to accept it. Proud people grow further apart on their own paths.

Furthermore...

Furthermore, she had no thoughts about his demeanor, his face, only feeling awkward. His acquired composure seemed inferior in front of her own elders. In truth, his head was somewhat too large, appearing clumsy in the eyes of women.

His face was passable but lacked a certain courage. It was tolerable when calm but unbearable when enlivened. That face was later passed down to Qingxiao; it was somewhat appealing when poised and dignified, but less so when relaxed.

'Maybe this man, this body, is desirable in the eyes of other women, but for me, it only leaves me indifferent.'

She actually preferred men who were more proportionate, more radiant.

'Who's to blame... It shouldn't be me.'

Five

But she aged quickly, much faster than she had imagined. The beauty that once seemed within easy reach in her youth now hung like clouds on the horizon, forever out of touch.

Her pretty almond eyes rapidly sagged, her hair grew thin, and her wrinkled skin bared her underlying bones, her complexion ghastly, appearing even more haggard in the desert wind.

Chen Donghe remained the same, his cultivation level even higher. Time lent his appearance a mature air. There seemed to be a subtle shift in their statuses, the defences that Li Jingtian had once prided herself on had unknowingly fallen into the hands of others.

But she didn't care. As she aged, she gradually lost her fixation on these matters, but the bottleneck of disinterest lingered, forever solidified in her heart.

The confidence that Chen Donghe believed was slowly building in him was actually worthless in her eyes. Chen Donghe didn't speak of it, and neither did she.

She watched coldly as they tormented each other. To her, Chen Donghe's self-destructive actions seemed childish. More than that, she even grew tired of them, the word "immature" lodged in her throat as she watched dispassionately.

Six

That night, she always dreamed of the dead snake, cold and slimy, writhing around her neck. Chen Donghe's face materialized before her, and the man, unable to contain himself any longer, pressed for an answer.

Li Jingtian didn't clarify; she knew it would leave a deep shadow on the man, light or heavy, and now it was beyond saving, but Chen Donghe asked:

"That was a joke when you were young."

Suddenly, an illusion emerged. She walked between water and fire, controlling thunder and lightning, hands behind her back, flying across the stormy clouds. She wanted to laugh, but her senses were gradually fading.

She was aware of what the man before her was saying. Li Jingtian, if she truly had feelings for him, would never use the rest of her life to torment him. But in this matter, she could never back down. Li Jingtian said coldly:

"As true as iron."

As true as iron!

She vaguely saw the man's face before her shatter, eyes slipping below the mouth, crystalline tears falling. She quickly sank into her own dreams.

In the profound darkness, she faintly dreamed of a stretch of white. She was still in white clothes, quietly leaning by the window, holding a white raccoon in her arms.

Footsteps approached from outside the door; the young man had not yet entered. Li Jingtian slowly got up and said with a gentle voice:

"Father, I shall take my leave now."