Chapter 152: No

Angel sat completely frozen on the blanket.

"No."

The word had so many different meanings, didn’t it?

No, it’s not the right time yet.

No, let’s start trying next month instead.

No, I actually mean yes, let me think about us having a baby together.

But the very second Angel heard that single word No fall straight from April’s lips, she felt like she was suddenly drowning under cold ocean water, and she was still drowning right now.

The warmth from the campfire was still reaching her skin, but somehow Angel felt completely cold.

Her fingers slowly curled into the blanket underneath her as she stared at April.

She had just completely opened up her soul and poured her entire heart out to her girlfriend, only for her to simply say no without hesitation.

For the past several minutes, Angel had been carrying the weight of everything she wanted to say, carefully choosing every word because she knew just how important the conversation was.

She had imagined April’s reaction so many times inside her head.

Maybe she would smile.

Maybe she would become nervous.

Maybe she would need some time to think about it.

Angel had been prepared for almost anything except this.

A simple no.

Angel desperately summoned the absolute last bit of courage she had left inside her chest to ask her why.

"Why... no?" she asked in a trembling whisper, staring directly into those sweet emerald eyes, hoping with everything she had that April would immediately change her answer.

"I can’t have a baby..." April said softly, looking back at her.

Angel’s eyes blinked repeatedly as she tried her best to register the exact meaning behind those words.

For a moment, she genuinely didn’t know what April meant.

"You can’t get pregnant at all?" Angel asked, her voice tight as she tried to understand what she meant.

"No..."

"So you physically can’t get pregnant?"

"Of course I can get pregnant if I really wanted to, but I just don’t want to be pregnant," April stated plainly.

"Ohhh..." Angel said, her head spinning as she tried to break down April’s words. "You don’t want to carry a pregnancy... Well, there are definitely other options for us. Surrogacy is a real thing. We can easily pay someone else to carry our baby for us..."

"I don’t want a baby at all," April interrupted firmly. "I am totally okay with the exact way we are living right now. Kids-free, no heavy parental responsibility or high expectations from anyone, just the two of us enjoying life with our kitties..."

Angel’s mouth slowly closed.

She had run out of things to say for a few seconds.

That entire line of reasoning would have made complete sense to Angel if she were still trapped inside her old defensive shell, but she wasn’t that Alpha girl anymore.

The main reason Angel didn’t want kids was simply because she was deeply terrified of getting bitten by them and genuinely wasn’t ready to care for anyone.

She had spent so much of her life protecting herself from becoming attached to people that the idea of becoming responsible for another human being had once terrified her.

But things were different now.

She had April.

She had a home.

She had a life that no longer felt like something she needed to escape from.

Growing up as a child, she had once promised herself that if she ever had her own children in the future, she would give that child all the infinite love, warm care, and endless attention she herself had never received.

It wasn’t about replacing her childhood.

It wasn’t about proving anything to anyone.

Angel simply wanted to give someone else the kind of childhood she had always wished for.

"You are still scared of ending up like your Mom..." Angel muttered quietly, shifting her gaze down toward the dying yellow embers of the campfire.

The small flames had already started disappearing, leaving mostly glowing pieces of wood surrounded by scattered ashes.

Angel watched them quietly.

Something about those dying embers felt painfully similar to what was happening inside her.

"No..." April murmured, her breath catching in her throat. "I’m scared of you."

And right there came another deep, heavy sinking feeling crushing down on Angel’s chest.

It was somehow worse than the first no.

Angel slowly raised her head and looked directly at her girlfriend, trying hard to comprehend what she had just said out loud.

"What exactly do you mean by saying you’re scared of me?" Angel asked, her voice cracking slightly. "I really don’t get it at all."

"I’m just afraid that you might turn into a completely different person after we have a baby," April confessed, holding her hands close. "Having a kid is a massive full-time job, and you are already different..."

Angel stared at her.

She could feel her heartbeat becoming heavier with every passing second.

"You genuinely think I am going to end up being just like my mother," Angel said, her chest heaving as the harsh reality set in.

"I’m not saying it like that..."

"That is completely what you are trying to say to me right now!"

"I really like what we currently have, Angel!" April yelled back softly, her hands reaching out. "I like us just the way we are, and bringing a third person into our lives will permanently change everything between us. I don’t want us to ever change. That is the one big thing I am truly afraid of losing..."

"That... wow..."

Angel didn’t know what else to possibly say to her in that painful moment.

She had thought they were sitting there talking about the possibility of creating another little life together.

Instead, she was suddenly being forced to look at something much deeper.

April wasn’t simply rejecting the idea of becoming a mother.

She was afraid of losing the relationship they had built together.

And somehow, that realization hurt almost as much as the rejection itself.

Her whole mind and heavy heart were rapidly sinking into absolute darkness, and she looked like she was about to completely explode from the overwhelming agony inside her chest.

The same fears she had spent years trying to overcome suddenly came rushing back.

Maybe April didn’t truly trust her.

Maybe April still saw the broken version of Angel hiding underneath everything she had become.

Maybe all the changes Angel had made in herself weren’t enough.

So she did the exact thing she always defaulted to doing whenever she felt deeply broken inside or outside.

She put on a fake mask right in front of the person she loved most.

Angel widened her lips into a massive, unnatural smile, staring right into her girlfriend’s eyes.

"Alright then, you are completely right..." Angel said, her voice sounding forced and light. "A baby will definitely change us completely. Let’s just stay girlfriends for the rest of our lives then! Hahaha... hahaha..." Angel laughed out loud continuously, desperately trying her absolute best to hold in the burning tears threatening to spill from her eyes.

Her laughter sounded wrong even to her own ears.

It wasn’t happiness.

It wasn’t relief.

It was the sound of someone desperately trying to cover up the fact that they were falling apart.

"See? You are finally getting the full picture now," April sighed in relief, completely missing the pain in Angel’s eyes. "Also, I do not want us to just stay girlfriends forever... And since you already know what I’ve been planning... Will you marry me, Angel?"

"Fuck you."

Angel instantly stood up from the blanket, her tall body towering over the fire.

"What?" April gasped, her smile instantly vanishing. "Where are you even going right now...?"

"I’m going back home," Angel spat cold words down at her, her jaw locked tight. "You don’t want a single change in your life, and now you suddenly want to change our official status overnight. Since you don’t want any kind of change between us, April, there’s absolutely no need for any marriage. Girlfriends forever..."

Angel turned around on her heel and walked away into the dark night without uttering another single word.