Chapter 144: Hand In Hand

Calis watched the pink panther take Tera’s hand and walk into the forest together.

He was sitting at the far edge of the clearing with the rest of his wolves, his crimson eyes half-closed but very much awake.

Faelynn was asleep, curled on her side with Luth tucked against her belly. His sister’s face was more relaxed than he had seen in months. She had eaten so much that one of the Dow clan females had joked about hiding the food before she consumed the settlement’s entire supply.

Calis had eaten to his full, but he had been watching Tera a lot.

He hadn’t meant to, and he wasn’t sure when it had started. Somewhere between her cooking and her laughing and her pressing kisses to her cubs’ faces, his gaze had simply settled on her and refused to move.

He had watched her feed the twins, her body curved protectively around them as they grabbed fistfuls of food with tiny, clumsy hands. He had watched her lean against her mates and walk the bear to some place.

Calis could finally understand why this clan made him so uneasy.

Every beast was so carefree. It was strange.

Most baffling was how some beasts seemed to have paired up with mates. In his pack, mating was functional. Males and females came together to produce cubs, and he had no concept of affection. What was important was the basics: feeding, surviving, and mating for the sole purpose of creating more pups to populate the world again.

Whatever affection existed was practical, expressed through food, protection and proximity. And it was mostly reserved for cubs.

Nobody held hands, nobody walked into forests together for no reason, and nobody shared such tender looks.

Calis did not like what it was making him feel. He would have preferred to have lived his life without witnessing such a thing.

It nearly made him feel like wanting something like that.

The female was appealing, and maybe he desired her just a little, but why did he also want her to look at him like she did with her mates?

Calis thought about what he had done.

He had knocked that female unconscious and carried her away from beasts who cared about her, especially her cubs.

He had seen those cubs today, and he had felt a sting of guilt for taking her away from them all because he had been curious.

Tomorrow, he would apologise to the entire clan properly. Not just to Tera, but to the beasts who had worried and spent so much time searching for their leader.

Then he would take his wolves and leave.

He did not belong in this warm, bright place. It unsettled him. Their carefree attitude when there were corrupted beasts roaming around, and the weight of what he had done.

Regardless, Faelynn needed to go home. She had one month left before her cub arrived, and as much as she would fight him on it, she needed to be in familiar territory when the time came. The journey back would already be harder on her than she would admit.

- ※ - ※ - ※ -

Tera had been watching Ermin for a while, especially after she had walked out of her shelter and made her way back to the main settlement.

Ermin hadn’t noticed her. That was how deep he was in his thoughts.

He had looked so sad, and with the way he was staring off into the distance, Tera’s chest ached.

Now they walked side by side through the forest, and Tera cradled his hand in hers, leaving her mate acutely aware of how soft and warm her hand was in his.

Ermin stared at Tera.

They had been walking for what felt like a long time, and the settlement’s faint glow had disappeared behind the trees minutes ago. The forest was dark around them, but the canopy above was thin enough to let the night sky peer through in patches, scattering pale moonlight across the path.

Tera’s hand was small.

Her fingers barely wrapped around half of his palm, and the weight of her hand in his was almost nothing. But the warmth of it had spread up through his wrist and into his arm and was now sitting in the centre of his chest.

She had never held his hand for this long before.

Ermin realised, with a quiet ache, that he had not spent much time alone with Tera ever since the cubs had arrived.

When was the last time it had been just the two of them, walking somewhere together with nothing that needed to be done?

Tera’s thumb brushed slowly across his knuckles, a small, absent motion that she probably didn’t even realise she was doing. It sent a soft ripple of warmth through his hand.

"I take walks like this sometimes," Tera said softly. "When my head gets too full. It helps to just move and not think about anything for a while."

Ermin looked at her. The pale light caught the curve of her cheek and the loose strands of hair that had fallen across her forehead.

He just realised that he hadn’t been thinking about Jackdaw ever since Tera had brought him along on the walk.

He had been focused on Tera instead.

Tera sighed. "I am getting tired."

She stopped at a tree and sat down against it. Ermin lowered himself beside her. Their shoulders touched, and Tera shifted until she was leaning against him, her weight resting comfortably against his side.

She hadn’t let go of his hand.

Their interlaced fingers rested between them on the soft moss.

Tera then looked up at him.

"Ermin."

"Hmm?"

She squeezed his hand gently.

"I wish you would talk to me." She smiled. "If something is bothering you, you can tell me about it. Whatever it is, even if you think it is silly."

She paused, and her eyes searched his face with a gentleness that made his chest feel too tight.

Ermin hesitated. He wanted to tell her, but he didn’t know how to bring it up.

Tera sensed his hesitation. "You do not have to say anything if you are not ready. I just want you to know that I am here if you ever need—"

"I was thinking about my home."